VOCAL AND VERBAL MURDER
The words a person uses, the emphasis and inflection patterns on those particular words, in addition to a person’s vocal tone can tell you if they are dangerous and ready to do you harm. After listening to Mel’s tone of voice and what he said to Oksana Grigoreieva, there is no doubt that he meant business and he was out to destroy her every way possible.
Words must NEVER be taken lightly. When a person speaks as Mel Gibson has spoken to the mother of his child, he has committed verbal murder.
AN EMOTIONALLY BEATEN DOWN OKSANA TRIES TO FIGHT BACK WITH NO AVAIL
Mel’s rant killed Oksana’s self esteem as we hear a meek sounding abused woman.
She tied to fight back and stand up for herself by telling Mel that it is none of his effing business when it came to her breasts, but it was no use.
Mel continued to berate her. It was too painful to listen to. If this horribly abusive snippet was caught on tape, one can only imagine what went on when Mel was not being taped.
Words and tones can destroy another person and can have a lifelong emotional effect. There is no doubt that Mel’s abusive words and actions have left an indelible scar on the mother of his child.
VOICE AND SPEECH MIRRORS THE SOUL
As Galen the ancient Greek philosopher once said, it is the voice that mirrors the soul. It is also mirrors the speech and the communication patterns.
What is in Mel’s head and his heart came out in his voice and the content of his speech. What emerged was an impotent human being. And that impotence may very well translate to sexual impotence as well as you will see as you read on. It translated into a narcissistic, sadistic, control freak.
VOCAL ATTACKS
The most striking thing about the tape is Mel’s hard glottal vocal attacks. The tone sounds like vocal bullets, as he rained down a spray of hatred and vitriol in a staccato pattern.
He closed off the back of his throat when he speaks. That is why you hear a creaky sound in his tone, much like a croaking frog. The reason he sounds like that is because he is filled with rage and anger. This rage and anger causes his muscles to tense up, including his vocal muscles.
The tight vocal muscles don’t allow the air to flow through the vocal cords when he speaks. Hence, you hear the creaky angry and tense sound.
The tone of his speech shows an offensiveness as though he is looking to pick a fight. He is spooling himself up and is ready to take issue with anything and everything.
The best thing Oksana could have done in this case was to remain calm and even keeled, which she did. But even so, it made little or no difference in terms whatever she said. Mel was gunning for a down and dirty fight. Unfortunately she was the victim.
The contents of his speech was peppered with sudden angry bursts of loudness to emphasize specific words. These specific words are key in analyzing what is really going on in Mel’s psyche.
EMPHASIS ON SPECIFIC KEY WORDS DURING MEL’S TIRADE
The capitalized words are those which Mel emphasized during his tirade are seen below. I did not censor any of the words because I wanted to give a clear picture of the exact words Mel used and how he used them.
“Trying to breast feed with Fucking FOREIGN BODIES in you.The fact that you had FOREIGN BODIES in there. So you’re not LYING to me about FAKE TITS you did you FUCKING LIED to me.They look RIDICULOUS. Get rid of them why dontcha?
They look STUPID, It’s just an appraisal. Keep em they look STUPID, Keep em if you want . I don’t give a FUCK. But you know they’re too BIG and they look STUPID. They look like some Vegas BITCH. Vegas Whore .And you go SHASHAYING around in your tight clothes, I won’t stand for that anymore. You go out in public and it’s a Fucking EMBARASSMENT to me. You look like a FUCKING BITCH on heat.
You;ll get RAPED by a pack of Niggers it’s be your fault. All right because YOU PROVOKED it. You are PROVOCATIVELY dressed all the time with your fake BOOBS. You feel you have to SHOW OFF in tight outfits in tight pants You can see you PUSSY from behind. And that GREEN thing. THAT’s (vocal pitch goes up) provocative.
Ok I’m TELLING you, I’m just TELLING you the TRUTH! I DON’T LIKE IT . I don’t WAN’T want that woman. I don’t want YOU .I don’t BELIEVE you any more. I don’t TRUST you/ I don’t LOVE you. I don’t WANT you. Ok. STAY in the FUCKING house. I’ not GIVING it to you, but I’ll LET you stay there . And I will take care of my child but I DON’T WANT YOU anymore.”
MEL THE CONTROL FREAK- THE SIGNAL OF AN ABUSER
In his rant, we can see that is all about control. Mel is trying to control Oksana completely from her breasts- (telling her to get rid of them),to what she wears (tight clothing and that green thing) to her living arrangements ( sadistically telling her he will allow her to live n the house).
Controlling a person the first sign in the Cycle of Abuse . First, they try to control how you look, what you wear, and then it is your basic needs from what you eat, to where, and how you live.
That is exactly what Mel has done to Oksana. If she fails to obey, he gets more verbally abusive which is the next stage in the Cycle of Abuse we saw.
Then if she fails to do what he says, the next stage is the physically violent phase. While we have yet to see the photos of Oksana’s black eyes and chipped teeth as a result of Mel’s hands, based on the pattern we have seen thus far, I tend to believe that he did indeed abuse her.
MEL’S NARCISSISM IN NOT WANTING OKSANA TO HAVE ALL THE ATTENTION
The next thing we notice in Mel’s rant is that he absolutely hates it when Oksana is the center of attention. After all that attention is reserved for him- the star- not Oksana, the “extra” in his the big screen of his life.
He talks about how he doesn’t like it when she dresses in tight clothes and how it embarrasses HIM. Of course it embarrasses him. He is the one who wants the public to only look at him and he is embarrassed if anyone more attractive or sexy looking surpasses him as far as attention goes.
He doesn’t like the attention Oksana gets from other men and even goes so disgustingly far as saying that since she attracts so much attention to herself by her dress, a pack of “Niggers” will swoop down and gang rape her and that it will be all of her own doing.
But it is not about the dress or the clothes or that green thing or the outfit, which as Mel so vulgarly stated, revealed her “pussy” . It is all about her taking away his limelight and redirecting the attention that he believes should be on him, on to her.
IS MEL SEXUALLY IMPOTENT?
Enraged Mel is vocally focusing on some very key words – BOOBS, BITCH. PUSSY, RAPED, and FUCKING (said multiple times)
He verbally focuses on Oksana’s “big boobs”, the provocative “green thing” she was wearing, her “sashaying around”, and the threat of being “raped
by a pack of “Niggers.”
What he is saying here is that she is clearly sexy and provocative with her large breats and tight clothing that reveal her sexy body, including her private parts .
He is so threatened by this. Thus, he attempts to cut down her breasts by telling Oksana they are fake, too big, and look stupid.
Obviously, her sexy assets are what initially attracted him to her , to the point that he had sex with her, got her pregnant, and left his wife of over 30 years for her.
But suddenly, he is finding fault with what attracted him to her in the first place. He is rationalizing that it is her fake large breasts that are the reasons he is most likely no longer able to perform sexually. He continues to rationalize, that it is the fault of her provocative clothing that doesn’t allow him to get turned on.
He takes his being sexually turned off, a step further. There is no doubt that Mel is a racist, who hates Jews, Mexicans and Blacks as we have all seen via his past behavior and now current tirade.
So what would turn him off more than people he detests? It would be a group of Blacks, having sex with his woman- sex that he may be no longer able to achieve with her.
He took the sexual sterotype of the Black man and his sexual prowess and magnified his fantasy scenario ten fold, with a “group” of “Niggers” “raping” her. He used this egregious term- the N word as an attempt to further degrade Oksana in his sick scenario, as a way to rationalizes why he, most likely cannot perform sexually.
Because he feels Oksana is the reason he is destroyed sexually with impotence, he in turn wants to destroy her for doing this to him. That is why he threatened to burn down the house, but not until after she gives him oral sex.
In saying this, he is in essence, asking her to become the “whore” like image that initially attracted him sexually, until she bore him a child and became the “Madona” like image that now renders him sexually impotent with her. I will get into Mel’s “ Whore/ Madonna Complex” in a just a moment.
But in essence, what he is saying is “I want to destroy you Oksana, because you destroyed my sexuality. But before I do, you have to do something to help revive my sexuality that you destroyed. You must prove to me that you have not destroyed my sexuality. But never the less, I plan to destroy you forever by burning down the house , preferably with you in it.
MEL’ S MADONNA/ WHORE SYNDROME
Mel may clearly be blaming Oksana for his lack of sexuality. But in reality, she has little to do with it. It is all about him. Based on Mel’s words, it is clear that he now sees Oksana, the mother of his child in a very different light. Prior to her being pregnant, he perceived her as the” whore” who sexually tuned him on. But this is no longer the case.
A lot of men can have great sex with a lover, or girlfriend. or wife. But as soon as the lover, girlfriend, or wife delivers a baby, the man may no longer see her as being sexually attractive. She is no longer their sexual “whore”. She is now the “mother” of their child. She is the “Madonna”. That is clearly what Mel may be suffering from, in my view.
It is evident in his speech. He doesn’t want her to look like a “Vegas whore.” He doesn’t want her to dress provocatively. He doesn’t want her to “sashay” around in public because it embarrasses him.
It embarrasses him because now that she is the mother of his child, she can no longer dress the way she dressed before she birthed his child, which now in his mind looks like a provocative “whore”.
He feels that now she must look proper and dress the part of the “Madonna” that she is now isin Mel’s disturbed mind. She must now, go out in unsexy outfits, unlike lithe green one she wore. Otherwise. it will say to Mel that she is still a “whore”- a sexual object to be preyed upon by the by the worst kind of people Mel views, in his racially sick mind- Black people.
To drive home his point and put the fear of God into her ,he warns Oksana about his biggest fear. His fear is that the mother of his child, who he now sees as the Madonna, will be violated and tarnished and “raped” by the people he is most repulsed by- Black men.
He warns further that she will be the one responsible for her own raping and violation. She will be the one who brought it on herself, by not dressing the part of the “Madonna”, but rather the “whore”.
That is why he is allowing her to stay in the house. He wants her out of sight. He wants her to be the Madonna and only care for his precious child. He wants her away from the public attention of the limelight. He wants her away from any other man who may find his “Madonna” a sexy looking “whore”. And he especially wants her home and away from Blacks, whom he feels may “rape: her and tarnish his fantasy “Madonna” forever.
MEL, THE VERBAL MURDERER
Mel committed verbal murder when he attacked Oksana so brutally with his tones and words. He murdered her spirit and you can hear it in her fearful meek voice, as she tries to fight back and give him a dose of his own medicine by using the F word to tell him her breasts are none of his business.
Mel can never take these words back. They are in Oksana’s psyche forever.
Mel’s tones and words murdered his chances of having a civil relationship so his daughter could grow up without the enormous tension that will most likely always be there between Mel and Oksana.
MEL’S WORDS KILLED OFF HIS FAN BASE FOREVER
Mel’s verbal murder also killed off his many fans. These cans can never look at Mel the same. What he said about his loyal supporters is unforgivable. They will NEVER support him at the box office no matter what film he makes in the future .
HE LOST HIS JEWISH FANS.
Just like there is no Jewish fan who can every look at Mel the same, after he made his anti-Semitic remarks when he was in the back of a police squad car after being arrested for a DUI, there is no Black fan that can ever look at him the same after calling them the N word.
HE LOST HIS BLACK FANS FOREVER
And adding insult to injury, he said that a “gang” of Blacks would rape Oksana just because his baby momma would be dressed provocatively. How insulting! How degrading to say that because a person is dressed a certain way that Blacks are so out of control with their sexuality that they would have no choice but to “rape” her in large groups in a pack, as in a pack of hungry, out of control wolves! This is the ultimate in stereotypic racism.
HE LOST HIS LATIN FANS
No Latin fan can ever look at Mel the same, after they heard him refer to Mexicans as “wetbacks.” How ugly! What he said is not only an insult to Mexicans but to every Spanish speaking fan.
MEL LOST HIS FEMALE FANS
And finally, no female fan can ever look at Mel the same. As if calling a female police officer “Sugar Tits” when he was arrested for a DUI wasn’t enough to turn women off, his rant to Oksana is guaranteed to turn off any woman who may have ignored his sexist comment to the police woman, forgiven Mel, or given him a second chance.
The degrading and sexist way he spoke to Oksana sent chills up my spine as I am sure it did to many other women.
The sexist and degrading name calling – from “whore” to “bitch”. The vulgar reference to “tits” and “pussy” is unconscionable. No woman should ever have to hear that type of language coming out of anyone’s mouth.
“YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN”
While Hollywood loves a good comeback, there are certain things you can NEVER come back from. Robert Downy, Mickey Rourke, Britney Spears, are examples of the Hollywood dream. They are examples of having it all, losing it all, and then coming back even bigger and better than before. Hollywood is hoping to add Lindsay Lohan to this list, but only time will tell ,as it all depends on Lindsay now.
But there will never be a comeback for Mel. Mel is on his own this time. Hollywood, who has many powerful Jewish people in control, was going to pull the plug on Mel years ago after his anti semitic comments. But Mel’s well respected agent at the time, Ed Limato of the William Morris Agency fought tooth and nail to keep Mel alive in the industry.
But last weekend Ed Limato died and so did Mel’s most loyal supporter. Now, there is no one to bail him out and play “the emperor has new clothes” game. Mel’s career is as dead as Ed Limato.
When the William Morris Agency quits you even though you have made millions of dollars for them, you can kiss your career goodbye forever. What Mel did was unforgiveable and the William Morris Agency, headed by Ari Emanual, let Mel know it in no uncertain terms.
Now that his old agent Ed Limato is dead, there is no one to defend Mel and play “the emperor has new clothes when in reality, the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.” Mel is on his own and it is OVER for him in Hollywood!
Will another agency take him? If they do, it will speak volumes about them and they will not be respected. They will be seen as vultures. A lot of these heavy duty agents work together. They support one another. So, if Mel was fired from WMA/Endeavor, I doubt CAA or ICM – the three agencies who really matter in Hollywood and can do the job Mel requires, will take him on as a client.
SOME THINGS ARE UNFORGIVEABLE!
While you may think that this is no big deal, and that Mel will be even more popular because of all of this publicity, you are sadly mistaken.
The old adage “ there is no such thing as bad publicity” may have worked when Hollywood began in the 20’s, but it doesn’t work in this day and age.
It does work to make people aware of those who are not yet household names or who’s career is waning. While scandals get people to sit up and take notice and increase their awareness of you and hence your popularity, like it did with Kate Gosslelin, making her a star , it works the opposite when someone is already a super star and a household word.
When they do something like Mel has done- verbally abuse a woman and allegedly hit her while she was holding her baby, it is unforgivable!
Look at what happened to Rhianna beater, singer Chris Brown. His career will never be the same. But Mel’s case is much worse. There is not only alleged physical violence, there is a baby involved.
There are words involved that no one will tolerate like the N word. Comedian, Michael Richards. who played Kramer on Seinfield, essentially lost his career after his tirade in a nightclub where he used the N word and made other racist remarks.
Actor Isaiah Washington was let go from Grey’s Anatomy for using the other F word, when he called his fellow co-star a “faggott”.
How people responded to these egregious actions, set a precedent. No one will accept it and there is no going back! It is over for Mel Gibson!
ED LIMATO CAN’T HELP HIM NO AND NEITHER CAN HIS TOP PR SPIN PUBLICIST PAUL BLOCK
Mel can pay his publicist and my dear friend,Paul Block of Rogers and Cowan, millions of dollars and it the spin will never work! I am sure Paul is working 24/7 trying to do damage control .
I see how hard Paul is working ever since this mess occurred, as Paul tries to cast dispersions on Oksana by releasing stories that Mel is suing her for extortion. When that didn’t work, Paul no doubt, released a news flash about how Mel was suing her for leaking the tape, and suing her for breach of contract.
Who cares about what Oksana did? Anything she allegedly did is minor in comparison to what Mel did. In actuality, the tape says it all. It speaks volumes with regard to what Mel did to her.
So what if she leaked the tape? There are no secrets anymore anyway. The truth always comes out! No one can hide. The cat is out of the bag , the feathers are out of the pillowcase, and Humpty Dumpty has fallen off the wall and his pieces can never be put back together at all.
PR SPIN TO MAKE MEL THE VICTIM OF A SAD BRUTAL CHILDHOOD WON’T WORK EITHER
I will save publicist Alan Nierob a lot of time and effort, by letting him know that if his next move is to spin the pity card, it won’t work with Mel.
It would be easy to now blame Mel’s bad behavior on his alcoholism or a bipolar disorder but it won’t work. There is just way too much bad behavior. It is not just one thing. It is a lot of things.
Many people are alcoholics and bipolar and they don’t abuse others like Mel did. They aren’t racists, anti Semites, or alleged physical abusers.
It would also be easy for Paul to spin it by blaming all of his issues on Mel’s bad childhood and his abusive father, the ignorant father who is a Holocaust denier, and whom Mel has never spoken out against.
Maybe Alan Nierob will use this time and throw Mel’s father under the PR bus to save his client. But it won’t work. Lots of people have wacky or ignorant parents and they don’t act like Mel did. And besides, Mel is in his 50’s. How much longer can one blame a parent for their bad actions? It won’t work!
My advice to Alan, who happens to be Jewish and who is the son of precious Holocaust survivors, is to find another client. While you may want to do right by your clients, remember that deep down, Mel is not too crazy about you and could spit his vitriol on you personally in a heartbeat.
And speaking of heartbeats, spinning a story about Mel being rushed to the hospital because of a heart attack or some other unknown ailment or sending him into rehab won’t work either . The public is not stupid and they won’t buy anything but the truth!
TOXIC MEN
This coming November I have a book out called Toxic Men- Identify Deal With And Heal From Men Who Make Your Life Miserable. In the book it tells you how to identify Toxic Men like Mel and what body language signals to look for. It tells you what to do – what 10 options you have available if you are in a toxic relationship like Oksana is in. It gives you choices that can either turn the relationship around or end the relationship for good. And finally it tells you how to heal from the events that Oksana experienced.
While the book will be available in bookstores November 2010, you can order it online right now. Just click this link http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Men-Ways-Identify-Miserable/dp/144050007X and it will take you to amazon.com where you can order your copy ahead of time and get it as soon as it is released.
Dr. Lillian Glass Body Language Blog 