Body Language and Speaking Advice From Dr. Lillian Glass to Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton During The Debates

The biggest debate of the century will take place Monday night on September 26, 2016. There is a lot riding on this debate because it will tell us so much about both candidates as we see them up close and personal.As a body language expert and communciation expert I am sharing my advice for ech of them indivudually and for both of them as candidates.

No matter how confident Donald Trump has come across in the past, there is no question that he may have a lot of concerns regarding this debate in terms of how to best handle himself. The same is true for Hillary Clinton. Trump may be wondering  how aggressive to come across towards Hillary, especially when there has been such public speculation with regard to her health issues. Hillary onthe other hand, may be wondering how to address Trump  should he come out swinging- verbally that is.

The key body language tell that viewers will be looking for deals with the level of the candidate’s confidence. Do they come across Presidential or not? Do they do or say things that reflect the office? Do they show tentativeness or nervousness?

So what are the signs to look for to help us determine if  a candidate is nervous vs confident?  Here is a list below: They may be                                                                         a.  perspiring indicated by wiping their face or hands  or sweat above upper lip and forehead                                                                                                                                                        b.rocking back and forth or fidgeting                                                                                               c.having extraneous hand movements                                                                                                     d. saying like um or uh a lot                                                                                                                         e. licking their lips a lot                                                                                                                                   f. taking deep breaths to oxygenate themselves                                                                                   g. looking down                                                                                                                                                   h. talking too fast                                                                                                                                               i. taking too slow                                                                                                                                                j. not getting to the point                                                                                                                               k. rambling and talking too much                                                                                               l.excessive eye blinking                                                                                                                                   m. throat clearing                                                                                                                                              n. nose pulling, scratching  or wiping                                                                                                          o. face scratching

Many of these “tells” can also signify whether the candidate is telling the truth or lying That is why you must listen for the context as deception can only be discovered in the specific context. For instance if Hillary is asked about her emails and you see any of these body language tells, it may indicate that she may not be telling the truth. Similarly, if Trump is asked about his taxes and you see any of these signs in the context during which he was asked the specific question, then you may question whether or not he is forthright.

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The advice I have for Donald trump is

  1. Don’t talk about how great you are. We already know it as we have heard it way too often from you.                                                                                                                                           2. Don’t yell and get  overly hostile or aggressive. Keep your cool and show that you can be level headed under pressure.                                                                                            3.Use inflected and modulated tones so it doesn’t appear that you are shouting at Hillary, which will alienate people.                                                                                                    4. Don’t go over the top with high dramatics.                                                                                5. Stick to the issues and don’t get off point,no matter how  much you are tempted to do so.                                                                                                                                                           6. Keep being real with your gestures and body language as that is what makes people relate to you.                                                                                                                                                7. Tone it down by not doing or saying anything embarrassing as this is your moment to shine in front of 120 million people.
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The advice for Hillary is:

1. Do not cough as it will validate what so many feel about you- that you are ill. Take a cough suppressant before you go on stage so you won’t have that issue since they are not stopping the debate incase you have a choking fit.                                                                                 2. Get more animated. Don’t sound so boring.                                                                                  3.Don’t use that sing song cadence where you lose the message in terms of what you want to convey.                                                                                                                                                              4. Don’t shout to get key points across. Instead use inflection to make your point. 5. Stop with the phony pointing gestures used by JFK back in the 60’s because his speech coach said it was the right thing to do. It is NOT the right thing to do. If you are angry or you want to make a point- point with your pointer finger instead of  using that phony gesture where you pinch your pointer and index finger to your thumb.                                                                      5. Stop smiling when you are upset as it make you look phony.                                                        6. Don’t spin things as it only makes you look worse. Instead, tell the truth and if you messed up give a sincere apology.                                                                                                              7. Stop having a defensive tone. If you are upset let you face say ot along with your words.Make sure your facial expression matches the tone of what you are saying.

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And to both candidate here is some major advice:                                                                                   1. Please be respectful to one another. Both of you have worked extremely hard to get to this point and need to be commended on your victories thus far.                                                    2.Do not attack one another and say what the other candidate did or thinks. Let them speak for themselves without your putting words in their mouth to make them look bad. What you don’t realize is that when you do this, it make you look bad. So don’t get nasty and hit below the belt. Keep it classy and elegant.                                                                           3.Stick to the issues and get your specific  points across. Tell us what you will do without discussing your opponent in an attempt to make them look bad. Make yourself look good by not making the  other person look bad. All the voter is interested in is the issues not your personality.  We want to know how you really think and feel about  the issues athand and how it will affect our lives in the future.

 

Obama and Xi Body Language at G20 Shows Much Tension Between the Two

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Since this is not a political blog, I am not going to get into the politics of the G20 taking place in China. Instead, I am going to comment on the body language of  US President Obama and China’s  leader Xi Jinping. The bottom line is that there was a lot of tension between the two. As you can see in the photo above, their  their interaction was frosty..They are both giving one another the “cold shoulder”as both of them have their shoulders raised in relation to the other, Their bodies are also turned away from one another and there is tension in both of their  mouths and in their lower law and jin indicating anger towards one another.

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Their photo op with a handshake was also very tense. Both of their lips are pursed and there was tension in their lower jaws. their bodies  are turned away from one another. While Xi literally gives Obama the “cold shoulder” as you can see as he turns out with his body facing the camera.  Obama attempts to turn his body towards Xi. Xi’s thumb is on top as the two of them shake hands for the photo op. This  is  a demonstration of a power play  where Xi appears to literally be on top and in control.

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In another pose where the two leaders are shaking hands for the camera, Xi’;s thumb  is still on top of Obama’s as he seems to be the one tightly  grasping on to Obama’s hand,.Obama shows anger here as his hand is balled into a fist as there is tension in the muscles in his hand. There is also a great deal of tension in Obama’s body as he appears stiff. While his shoulder is facing Xi, his head is  also  leaning towards  Xi, but Xi’s head is leaning away from Obama which further indicates tension and  perhaps even dislike towards Obama, as though he is repelled by Obama. The dislike is apparently not one sided as Obama feels the same way towards Xi. His facial expression says it all. as his eyes are tight and lips are pursed in a phony smile. The fact that they are both looking n different directions is also a signal of negativity between them. Xi also has a phony smile and is extremely stiff with tension as she stands next to Obama. One can  actually feel the tension in this awkward moment between the two.

Screen Shot 2016-09-04 at 7.25.39 AMWhen th When the two of them are sitting down next to one another, things do not fare much better. Obama has his arm covering his upper body which is a signal of defensiveness. The fact that his hand is curled up in a ball shows that he is also angry- angry and defensive when sitting next to Xi. Obama’s  anger is also reflected in the tense muscles in his lower jaw.  as he purses his lips. Xi does try to lighten up as he leans more in Obama’s direction in an attempt to be more engaging towards Obama. But the reality is that his true feelings towards Obama has leaked out through his pursed lips and tense smile.

The bottom line is that they both appear to be very uncomfortable and even disturbed by one another. No matter how they try to appear cordial in front of camera, the body and face do not lie.  In essence, there is no love lost between these two world leaders .

U of Iowa Mascot’s Angry Facial Expression ‘Traumatizing’ Students- Is Barney A Better Choice for These Big Babies?

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When actor Clint Eastwood recently called the new generation a “Pussy Generation”-a  generation of weaklings with no backbone, who are easily offended, he may have been right on target, especially with what recently happened at the University of Iowa.

Apparently, the U of Iowa has a school mascot named Herky the Hawk, a cartoonish gold and black figure. The Hawk has an angry, aggressive  look, complete with furrowed forehead. This depiction is to reflect the fighting spirit during university sports games.

Apparently, a University of Iowa professor has requested that the U of Iowa athletics department change Herky the Hawk’s facial expression and make him look friendlier because the character’s current  facial expression is apparently traumatizing students.

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Resmiye Oral,  seen in the photo above, a clinical professor of pediatrics, apparently wrote  an email to the athletic department officials as well as to the U of Iowa Faculty Senate  where she stated,  “I believe incoming students should be met with welcoming, nurturing, calm, accepting and happy messages.”

“And our campus community is doing a great job in that regard when it comes to words. However, Herky’s angry, to say the least, faces conveying an invitation to aggressivity and even violence are not compatible with the verbal messages that we try to convey to and instill in our students and campus community,” she argued.

This Toxic professor in my view also told the Iowa Press- Citizen newspaper that she has been concerned for some time about Herky the Hawk’s lack of emotional diversity as she further stated ” “As we strive to tackle depression, suicide, violence, and behavioral challenges and help our students succeed, I plead with you to allow Herky to be like one of us, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes angry, sometimes concentrated.

In my view professor Oral needs to put her efforts on doing some meaningful research in her field instead of worrying about Herkey. Herkey has been around for generations and as not caused any lasting damage to any student’s psyche.

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If these big babies  with such tender psyche’s at the U of  Iowa can’t handle angry Herkey, perhaps they would be best suited to have another character as their mascot-purple “Barney” the dinosaur , who also happens to be a  huge hit with toddlers.

This is frightening to think that students cannot handle a cartoon mascot’s  angry facial expression. If it is  violence,  Professor Oral is concerned about, then she needs to not focus on the mascot,  but  rather, on the game of football. Will her next email missive be to banish the violent sport of football at the U of Iowa?  Does she believe football is too violent for student’s psyche’s and for their tender eyes to see?

And what about other sports? This can go very far if it is not stopped. Apparently officials with the U of Iowa  Faculty Senate told the  Iowa Press-Citizen that they are currently tackling the larger issue of ensuring that the university climate is one that is “safe and inclusive.”

Well here is the reality of life, U of Iowa students and any other student at any other university, as well as any faculty member who has been hiding behind the walls of the ivory tower of academia for so long,  they no longer have a clue as to how the real world operates and functions.

The world’s climate is NOT ” safe and inclusive” and that is the reality of life.  What better way to learn this message than at a university. At a university, you will have a glimpse of what life is really like, so that you can be better prepared to handle any of life’s annoyances and disappointments which you, like everyone else, will surely experience.

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In the university setting, not every student will get an award, a scholarship,  or be invited to join a sorority or a fraternity. A boy or a girl that you fancy may not be attracted  to you. In fact, they may ignore you. If you end up dating them, they may cheat on you, or  ghost you- dropping you like a hot potato for a reason unknown to you.  Not all students will make good grades and some will even flunk out. Some will be given grades that they deem unfair, while others will not be allowed to play on any one of the university’s sports teams. Some will  have to drop out because of financial  or family concerns. Others will excel in school and be admitted to grad schools, law, vet, or medical schools, while still others, will be admitted nowhere. Some will get excellent grades and even graduate with honors, only to find they can’t find a job and have to work in a department store as a sales clerk, summa or magna cum laude or not. Such is life. Life is full of ups and downs and it is not fair. Life is not “fair and inclusive.” Any university that gives students the illusion that it is, is not doing their job  in preparing students to survive in the real world.

In the real world, there are lots of people with lots of opinions. Some opinions will be similar  to yours, while other’s opinions will be the complete opposite. Just because someone has a different philosophical, religious, or political view, you need to respect that they are entitled to their opinion. Like any mature adult you need to learn to “agree to disagree”. You don’t need to kick them out of your life, avoid them, resent, hate them or find a “safe place” to run away from them.

In the real world, some people won’t like you for no reason at all. Other’s won’t like you because of where you are from, your family background, the color of your skin,  your personality, the color of your hair, how you look,  how much or  how little money you have, how successful or unsuccessful you are,  or how attractive or unattractive you are. Like it or not, that is the reality of life.

What you learned in the first grade -that everyone has to like everyone and get along is what your first grade and subsequent school teachers told you because they didn’t want to deal with a classroom of chaos and fighting children. But the truth is that in the real world,  you will NOT like everyone and not everyone will like you and that is OK. Some people will be Toxic to you and you will be Toxic to others. That is a reality of life, not only for  for human beings, but for animals as well.

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When I am at the park with my goldendoodle Annabella, even though she likes most dogs, there are some  dogs, she simply  doesn’t care for. She is not playful or friendly to them, like she is to others. It is her animal instinct kicking in that tells her who is friend or foe. The same is true for us humans. Our instincts also tell us who is Toxic, who to like, and who not to like.

And here is a “newsflash” for the real world:  THERE ARE NO SAFE PLACES! If someone offends you with their ideas and beliefs – (and they will), get over it!  Move on. Don’t sulk and brood and cry. Mommy and daddy, may have provided a safe physical and emotional haven for you at home. But in real life,  there are no safe havens. Maybe you got an award for just showing  up at a team sports game when you were younger. Maybe your parents helped you with your homework or may have even done it for you. If you had trouble with a classmate, friend, or teacher, perhaps they were there to fight your battles. But in the real world you can no longer rely on your” helicopter parents.”

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When I read that  students said they “didn’t feel “safe”at one of  the most prestigious universities in the south, Emory University in Georgia  simply because someone wrote the word TRUMP on the sidewalk, I was appalled. They clamored that they were “in pain” over this. Well if writing the name of a political candidate  in chalk brings you pain, then you will have a very miserable and painful life.

Students at Emory University, claimed that  writing ‘Trump 2016′ on Sidewalk Is a Racist Microaggression …,” with references to students needing “trigger warnings” and “safe spaces” to protect them from presidential candidates’ names and slogans. For many, it was another sign of college students being so overly sensitive, that even political campaigning could be seen as hate speech.

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Well, college students, get over your being overly sensitive. There are two major political parties in this country. While you may prefer one candidate, there are others out there who may prefer the other candidate. If someone supports a candidate you don’t like, they are  not  committing a hate crime. Conversely, if you support a candidate someone else, likes, you are not committing a hate crime.

So whether it is dealing with an angry looking school mascot, who has harmlessly been around for decades,  or having a difference of  political opinion from someone else, grow up and stop acting like a toddler- hiding in a safe place like mommy’s skirt or in a special room.

Not everything will make you feel comfortable in life.  So deal with it! That is what grown ups, not babies, do in the real world.

Is Ryan Lochte A Sociopath? Lame Apology May Give Insight

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One of the most difficult things to spot is when a Sociopath is lying. When Ryan Lochte gave his interviews with Billy Bush, he was fluid and fluent. He had no ums or uhs in his speech and no other vocal tells of deception. Physcially there were no body language tells either, .to indicate that he lied. While there was one story that caused a little raised eyebrow as  he told Billy- that the robber asked him to give him his money and  Ryan told the robber  “no,”  it could be dismissed as a carryover of the gold medalist’s brazen fearless attitude that he showed in the Olympic pool. When asked to give over their money, most  people would give it readily, especially if there was a gun involved in any way. Other than that statement, Ryan showed a calm, collected attitude as he shared the story with Bush.

 

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It was only when Matt Lauer interviewed him and the story changed from the gun being “pointed  at his head “ to the gun being “pointed in his direction” it was clear that Ryan was a liar.

At first, no one wanted to believe Ryan would lie about this. It made sense that he would have been robbed, considering the fact that Rio has the highest crime rate and robberies are rampant. In addition, why would Ryan make this up? He certainly didn’t need attention .  After all, he was a Gold medalist and was getting loads of attention. So why would he make  something like this up?

One reason he would make this up  may possibly be that he may perhaps have sociopathic tendencies. Sociopaths have a tendency to invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate and make up things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason, it sounds believable at the time.That is exactly the case with Ryan, especially with his story about saying “no” to the robber. 

Sociopaths are also incapable of apologizing and feeling remorse. Only because the other athletes he was with were forced to  come clean, essentially “busting” Ryan, Lochte gave a public apology. It wasn’t verbal. It was written  on instragram. If Lochte didn’t make a statement he would be in further danger with his sponsors and with the IOC.

The apology speaks volumes about Ryan. It begins by saying I apologize for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events. he doesn’t say he apologizes for lying but rather for not being careful. In essence, he is saying that his only remorse is getting caught. This is typical sociopathic rhetoric as they are not direct with their apologies and couch them in a way to deflect  the seriousness of what they did.

He also says that he apologizes for taking the attention away from his fellow athletes. This is not what he needs to be sorry for. He needs to be sorry for making up a lie about Brazil, who already has a terrible reputation when it comes to robberies and crime. He needed to apologize for adding fuel to the fire, yet he doesn’t do so.

Since Sociopaths never truly apologize because they feel they  are never wrong, they also never feel guilt. If they are forced to apologize like Ryan was they will go on the defensive, In the next paragraph of Lochte;s apology, He blames the a. language barrier  and still insists that a gun was pointed at him  and money was demanded to let him leave, But he doesn;t say that he and his fellow swimmers broke the bathroom door and they security guard wanted them to pay for it. He didn’t say that the payment was a mere 50 something dollars.

Then Lochte demonstrates yet another signal of the sociopath;s behavior in his apology when he tries to lay on the charm and kiss up to those he needs. In Lochte’s case it was the International Olympic Committee, and the United States Olympic Committee.He gives a kiss up shout out to them as he knows what may be in store for him, They could potentially go as far as banning him if they see fit, for his lies and causing an international incident in an already flamable situation.

Finally he encourages people to move on and to essentially forget about what he did as he says he “looks ahead to celebrating future successes.

This may be wishful thinking on Lochte’s part. He has damaged his public image forever. People are not quick to forget when another one of their hero’s let them down with all of his lying behavior- Lance Armstrong. They are certainly not going to let Lochte off the hook so easily. This has severely damaged his brand due to his issues with credibility.

 

Sociopath? Ryan Lochte Shows No Body Language or Verbal Signals of Deception In Speaking of the Robbery

Screen Shot 2016-08-14 at 8.20.46 PMSwimming Gold Medalist  Ryan Lochte said he was a victim of an armed robbery in Brazil after coming home from a party  for one of his friends in Rio. He showed no signals of deception as he relayed the story to interviewer, Billy Bush. He was on point and spoke fluidly and fluently. He showed no body language signals of deception. Therefore I completely believe what he said about the robbery.

But the US Olympic Committee and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) denied Lochte’s account of what happened . It seems to me that they clearly may have  wanted to cover themselves and protect their own interests , since they made this statement without ever interviewing Lochte or any of the other alleged victims. It was reported that  both organizations didn’t even contact the alleged robbed swimmers after the robbery, even though they were all living at the Olympic village.

Ryan Lochte would have no reason to make up a robbery attempt. He certainly doesn’t need this type of attention and has never had a history of high drama. Whether anyone wants to admit it  or not, Rio is one of the most dangerous cities in the world as are so many other cities  in Brazil.

In fact, when I was in Sao Paulo, Brazil several years ago on a book tour, I was driven around in an armored car. So there was a great concern about crime. I also have a very close friend in Brazil and when we traveled around the city, we were also in an armored car and ran through all the red lights because to stop could get one robbed  and killed.

In my view, the US Olympic Committee and the IOC are not respecting one of their star athletes. Instead, they are essentially calling Lochte a liar.They clearly seem to believe that admitting that Rio is a dangerous city and that a robbery took place would be bad PR for the games, so they are spinning it.

Apparently, Lochte reported that the robbers were disguised as police . If they admitted Lochte’s story was accurate and word got out that robbers were posing as police officers in and in essence stopping  tourists and robbing them with guns to their head, this would be bad for the games and for their revenue.

Having a gun pointed at Lochte’s head as he said in a very calm manner, may have some sever lasting effects on him. perhaps he is now in a state of shock as to what actually happened to him. When some time passes and he has more time to process the event and that he could have lost his life, I would not be surprised if he showed symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder  (PTSD) in the future. The fact that his own US Olympic Committee and the IOC aren’t standing by him and supporting what happened to him will not doubt add to his injury and could have an emotional  effect on him. It could even have serious implications in terns of his psyche as an athlete.

So much of being a star athlete has to do with your mental abilities and focus as well as your physical prowess.If his own organizations are not behind him, it may have an effect on his motivation level in the future and on his psychological state . No one wants to be labeled as a liar when they have come forth and shared a life threatening experience.

The implications of Lochte being believed  and the committees causing doubt about what he said can potentially affect  his endorsements in the futures and ultimately, his finances. There may be a possibility that endorsers may shy away from Lochte as a result of this controversy created by the US and International Olympic  committees.

Caitlyn Jenner’s Canceled Show May Be a Blessing In Disguise

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When Caitlyn Jenner  first made her transition from male to female, I filmed a segment at with her at her home, way on top of a hill in Malibu, for her show ( I am Cait). In our segment, there was some intensive voice and speech training that unfortunately never made it to air. I showed her videotape of herself  appearing on  Diane Sawyer’s 20/20 interview and  analyzed it. I relayed to her which speech, voice, and body language patterns were masculine and feminine and what she needed to work on. She seemed very receptive.  We then did  some speech, body language, and  vocal exercises. The story line was that I was supposed to tell her not to have surgery  on her vocal cords, which she was  supposedly considering in  order to sound more feminine. During our shoot, I told her that surgery was not a good idea. I also told her that there may be some dangers associated with the surgery that could harm her voice in the long run and that she instead, needed to do a regimine of vocal and speech and body language exercises. I also shared this in the confessional. Continue reading

Trump Turns Hillary Passionate and Emotional In Second Half of Speech

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With the exception of  Hillary Clinton’s  emotional  and touching entrance when she and  daughter Chelsea looked one another in the eye and both teared up, the first half of Hillary speech was  bland with a monotone cadence. But before she spoke, we were privy to see a side of Hillary we had never seen before. Right after  Chelsea introduced her mother and Hillary came to the stage, we witnessed mother and  daughter sharing  a beautiful, heartfelt, tender moment.

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As Hillary took the stage and began to speak, her body language appeared stiff and mechanical.

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Whenever  she wanted to express a point or show emotion, instead of raising her vocal inflection, she got louder and louder. Soon it became a monotonous  bore where it was difficult to distinguish major points she was trying to get across.  It all sounded the same, in her staccato delivery/ So  it was not always easy to follow her message.

In terms of her facial language, whenever she got louder and louder to express a point, her eyes widened. It didn’t seem to be congruous with her message. The wide-eyed look,along with the monotone loud cadence at the end of her statements, did not showcase Hillary at her best.

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Ther monotone cadence and loud endings of sentences during the first half of the speech could put anyone to sleep . In fact, her speech  put Bill to sleep for a little while. In all fairness, he has probably heard her rehearse the speech countless times. Nevertheless, her monotonous droll lulled him to catch a few Z’s .

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But  as soon as she began to discuss Donald Trump and why he shouldn’t be the next President, a  completely different Hillary emerged. This Hillary was passionate, exciting, enthusiastic, and had life to her voice . She came alive and showed more emotion than ever before.  Her body language and facial language now matched her words. Unlike before, they were now  all  in synch.

Her message suddenly became clearer. Her zings to Donald Trump were very cleaver. She  said “Instead of making America great again, how about making things in America” when referring to his clothes  being made in China, shirts in Mexico and furniture in Turkey. She certainly made a good point with that statement.

She then said that  someone ” who loses his cool  when baited with a tweet  is not a man you can trust with nuclear weapons.”

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As she said this the audience roared and suddenly  Hillary became more energized and more passionate. She then began to express more emotion than ever before. Her tones were now inflected and the monotone and shouting  for emphasis was gone.  Her entire demeanor changed. She said what everyone in the audience wanted to hear.

Perhaps her most powerful statement  was personally directed to Donald and what she perceives as his bullying. She said that  as a child she was bullied. Her late mother, who was very near and dear to her heart, told the young Hillary to “pick yourself up and get back in the game and stand up to bullies.” 

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Bill and Chelsea watched her with pride and when Hillary spoke the words” I accept your nomination for President of the United States,”Bill looked like he was choked up and ready to shed a tear.

After the speech ended with a resounding applause, Bill finally came on stage with her. There was a genuine embrace between the two that lasted quite a while by hugging standards, with Hillary  even rubbing Bill’s back. Witnessing the two of them embrace at that moment, there was no doubt that whatever crises the two of them had been through with Bill’s serial womanizing, all was  in the past. The way Bill held Hillary showed a genuine connection, which was reciprocated by her.

What was also impressive when Bill was on the stage with Hillary was that he did not try to share the limelight with her. Instead,  he let her have her moment and  allowed her to shine.  He  constantly stayed in the background talking to others on the stage and amusing himself with the balloons- especially the larger ones, which he kept throwing around.

Hillary also had some fun with the  balloons and with acknowledging people in the  audience. She was warm. happy, and playful. This was  yet another side of Hillary that we never saw. It made her seem more human and likeable.