Body Language and Speaking Advice From Dr. Lillian Glass to Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton During The Debates

The biggest debate of the century will take place Monday night on September 26, 2016. There is a lot riding on this debate because it will tell us so much about both candidates as we see them up close and personal.As a body language expert and communciation expert I am sharing my advice for ech of them indivudually and for both of them as candidates.

No matter how confident Donald Trump has come across in the past, there is no question that he may have a lot of concerns regarding this debate in terms of how to best handle himself. The same is true for Hillary Clinton. Trump may be wondering  how aggressive to come across towards Hillary, especially when there has been such public speculation with regard to her health issues. Hillary onthe other hand, may be wondering how to address Trump  should he come out swinging- verbally that is.

The key body language tell that viewers will be looking for deals with the level of the candidate’s confidence. Do they come across Presidential or not? Do they do or say things that reflect the office? Do they show tentativeness or nervousness?

So what are the signs to look for to help us determine if  a candidate is nervous vs confident?  Here is a list below: They may be                                                                         a.  perspiring indicated by wiping their face or hands  or sweat above upper lip and forehead                                                                                                                                                        b.rocking back and forth or fidgeting                                                                                               c.having extraneous hand movements                                                                                                     d. saying like um or uh a lot                                                                                                                         e. licking their lips a lot                                                                                                                                   f. taking deep breaths to oxygenate themselves                                                                                   g. looking down                                                                                                                                                   h. talking too fast                                                                                                                                               i. taking too slow                                                                                                                                                j. not getting to the point                                                                                                                               k. rambling and talking too much                                                                                               l.excessive eye blinking                                                                                                                                   m. throat clearing                                                                                                                                              n. nose pulling, scratching  or wiping                                                                                                          o. face scratching

Many of these “tells” can also signify whether the candidate is telling the truth or lying That is why you must listen for the context as deception can only be discovered in the specific context. For instance if Hillary is asked about her emails and you see any of these body language tells, it may indicate that she may not be telling the truth. Similarly, if Trump is asked about his taxes and you see any of these signs in the context during which he was asked the specific question, then you may question whether or not he is forthright.

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The advice I have for Donald trump is

  1. Don’t talk about how great you are. We already know it as we have heard it way too often from you.                                                                                                                                           2. Don’t yell and get  overly hostile or aggressive. Keep your cool and show that you can be level headed under pressure.                                                                                            3.Use inflected and modulated tones so it doesn’t appear that you are shouting at Hillary, which will alienate people.                                                                                                    4. Don’t go over the top with high dramatics.                                                                                5. Stick to the issues and don’t get off point,no matter how  much you are tempted to do so.                                                                                                                                                           6. Keep being real with your gestures and body language as that is what makes people relate to you.                                                                                                                                                7. Tone it down by not doing or saying anything embarrassing as this is your moment to shine in front of 120 million people.
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The advice for Hillary is:

1. Do not cough as it will validate what so many feel about you- that you are ill. Take a cough suppressant before you go on stage so you won’t have that issue since they are not stopping the debate incase you have a choking fit.                                                                                 2. Get more animated. Don’t sound so boring.                                                                                  3.Don’t use that sing song cadence where you lose the message in terms of what you want to convey.                                                                                                                                                              4. Don’t shout to get key points across. Instead use inflection to make your point. 5. Stop with the phony pointing gestures used by JFK back in the 60’s because his speech coach said it was the right thing to do. It is NOT the right thing to do. If you are angry or you want to make a point- point with your pointer finger instead of  using that phony gesture where you pinch your pointer and index finger to your thumb.                                                                      5. Stop smiling when you are upset as it make you look phony.                                                        6. Don’t spin things as it only makes you look worse. Instead, tell the truth and if you messed up give a sincere apology.                                                                                                              7. Stop having a defensive tone. If you are upset let you face say ot along with your words.Make sure your facial expression matches the tone of what you are saying.

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And to both candidate here is some major advice:                                                                                   1. Please be respectful to one another. Both of you have worked extremely hard to get to this point and need to be commended on your victories thus far.                                                    2.Do not attack one another and say what the other candidate did or thinks. Let them speak for themselves without your putting words in their mouth to make them look bad. What you don’t realize is that when you do this, it make you look bad. So don’t get nasty and hit below the belt. Keep it classy and elegant.                                                                           3.Stick to the issues and get your specific  points across. Tell us what you will do without discussing your opponent in an attempt to make them look bad. Make yourself look good by not making the  other person look bad. All the voter is interested in is the issues not your personality.  We want to know how you really think and feel about  the issues athand and how it will affect our lives in the future.

 

JonBenet Ramsey Brother’s Inappropriate Disturbing Smile and Body Language on Dr. Phil Interview

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Twenty years ago 6 year old  child beauty queen, JonBenet Ramsey was strangled in her own home. There were only three people in the home at the time – her mother, father,and brother Burke. There was a lot of suspicion centered on the parents and even more suspicion centered on the brother’s involvement.

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One thing which led to the suspicion involving the parents, was the  ransom letter which was allegedly left behind. There was specific information in it that that only family members knew. It also seemed to have terms that Patsy Ramsey normally used and much of the writing allegedly looked like her writing.  Also. it was determined the pad used to write the ransom note came from Patsy’s desk in the hallway and that both the pad  and her pen were found underneath the phone.

Another cause for suspicion was when  Patty was overheard in the background of her 911 call to police angrily admonishing her son Burke. She said  that she didn’t want to hear another world from “You!” Was she trying to cover something up regarding him? I always found that incident particularly disturbing. If she just lost one child, it would seem that she might have been more gentle and loving towards another child who’s life was allegedly spared.

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Many eyed Burke as the killer.  In fact, in his Dr.Phil interview, he says “I know people think I did it.”  Many thought that Burke had a motive to killing JonBenet because she was given so much more attention with her mother. She spent more time with her mother on the beauty pageant circuit. This early photo of  JonBenet and brother Burke says a lot ot me. JonBenet is loving and affectionate, while Burke  is stiff . He seems to be wishing she would literally get off is back .

At the time of the murder, any also thought that Burke’s behavior was odd.  In fact, back then, I was often asked by the media to comment upon Burke’s behavior. I was even asked  to look at his drawings. I found  them to be very odd and disturbing.

As a child, Burke was constantly playing with videogames and disengaging. Now he has been interviewed by Dr. Phil and his body language is still odd and  disturbing.

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Body Language Shows Genuine Disdain Between Putin and Obama at G20

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Just as there was tension and a severely strained relationship between President Obama and  China’s President, Xi, there was even more tension and even disdain between Obama and Russia’s Vladimir Putin.It was so tense and strained that it was uncomforable to observe.

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Obama and Xi Body Language at G20 Shows Much Tension Between the Two

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Since this is not a political blog, I am not going to get into the politics of the G20 taking place in China. Instead, I am going to comment on the body language of  US President Obama and China’s  leader Xi Jinping. The bottom line is that there was a lot of tension between the two. As you can see in the photo above, their  their interaction was frosty..They are both giving one another the “cold shoulder”as both of them have their shoulders raised in relation to the other, Their bodies are also turned away from one another and there is tension in both of their  mouths and in their lower law and jin indicating anger towards one another.

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Their photo op with a handshake was also very tense. Both of their lips are pursed and there was tension in their lower jaws. their bodies  are turned away from one another. While Xi literally gives Obama the “cold shoulder” as you can see as he turns out with his body facing the camera.  Obama attempts to turn his body towards Xi. Xi’s thumb is on top as the two of them shake hands for the photo op. This  is  a demonstration of a power play  where Xi appears to literally be on top and in control.

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In another pose where the two leaders are shaking hands for the camera, Xi’;s thumb  is still on top of Obama’s as he seems to be the one tightly  grasping on to Obama’s hand,.Obama shows anger here as his hand is balled into a fist as there is tension in the muscles in his hand. There is also a great deal of tension in Obama’s body as he appears stiff. While his shoulder is facing Xi, his head is  also  leaning towards  Xi, but Xi’s head is leaning away from Obama which further indicates tension and  perhaps even dislike towards Obama, as though he is repelled by Obama. The dislike is apparently not one sided as Obama feels the same way towards Xi. His facial expression says it all. as his eyes are tight and lips are pursed in a phony smile. The fact that they are both looking n different directions is also a signal of negativity between them. Xi also has a phony smile and is extremely stiff with tension as she stands next to Obama. One can  actually feel the tension in this awkward moment between the two.

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The bottom line is that they both appear to be very uncomfortable and even disturbed by one another. No matter how they try to appear cordial in front of camera, the body and face do not lie.  In essence, there is no love lost between these two world leaders .

U of Iowa Mascot’s Angry Facial Expression ‘Traumatizing’ Students- Is Barney A Better Choice for These Big Babies?

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When actor Clint Eastwood recently called the new generation a “Pussy Generation”-a  generation of weaklings with no backbone, who are easily offended, he may have been right on target, especially with what recently happened at the University of Iowa.

Apparently, the U of Iowa has a school mascot named Herky the Hawk, a cartoonish gold and black figure. The Hawk has an angry, aggressive  look, complete with furrowed forehead. This depiction is to reflect the fighting spirit during university sports games.

Apparently, a University of Iowa professor has requested that the U of Iowa athletics department change Herky the Hawk’s facial expression and make him look friendlier because the character’s current  facial expression is apparently traumatizing students.

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Resmiye Oral,  seen in the photo above, a clinical professor of pediatrics, apparently wrote  an email to the athletic department officials as well as to the U of Iowa Faculty Senate  where she stated,  “I believe incoming students should be met with welcoming, nurturing, calm, accepting and happy messages.”

“And our campus community is doing a great job in that regard when it comes to words. However, Herky’s angry, to say the least, faces conveying an invitation to aggressivity and even violence are not compatible with the verbal messages that we try to convey to and instill in our students and campus community,” she argued.

This Toxic professor in my view also told the Iowa Press- Citizen newspaper that she has been concerned for some time about Herky the Hawk’s lack of emotional diversity as she further stated ” “As we strive to tackle depression, suicide, violence, and behavioral challenges and help our students succeed, I plead with you to allow Herky to be like one of us, sometimes sad, sometimes happy, sometimes angry, sometimes concentrated.

In my view professor Oral needs to put her efforts on doing some meaningful research in her field instead of worrying about Herkey. Herkey has been around for generations and as not caused any lasting damage to any student’s psyche.

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If these big babies  with such tender psyche’s at the U of  Iowa can’t handle angry Herkey, perhaps they would be best suited to have another character as their mascot-purple “Barney” the dinosaur , who also happens to be a  huge hit with toddlers.

This is frightening to think that students cannot handle a cartoon mascot’s  angry facial expression. If it is  violence,  Professor Oral is concerned about, then she needs to not focus on the mascot,  but  rather, on the game of football. Will her next email missive be to banish the violent sport of football at the U of Iowa?  Does she believe football is too violent for student’s psyche’s and for their tender eyes to see?

And what about other sports? This can go very far if it is not stopped. Apparently officials with the U of Iowa  Faculty Senate told the  Iowa Press-Citizen that they are currently tackling the larger issue of ensuring that the university climate is one that is “safe and inclusive.”

Well here is the reality of life, U of Iowa students and any other student at any other university, as well as any faculty member who has been hiding behind the walls of the ivory tower of academia for so long,  they no longer have a clue as to how the real world operates and functions.

The world’s climate is NOT ” safe and inclusive” and that is the reality of life.  What better way to learn this message than at a university. At a university, you will have a glimpse of what life is really like, so that you can be better prepared to handle any of life’s annoyances and disappointments which you, like everyone else, will surely experience.

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In the university setting, not every student will get an award, a scholarship,  or be invited to join a sorority or a fraternity. A boy or a girl that you fancy may not be attracted  to you. In fact, they may ignore you. If you end up dating them, they may cheat on you, or  ghost you- dropping you like a hot potato for a reason unknown to you.  Not all students will make good grades and some will even flunk out. Some will be given grades that they deem unfair, while others will not be allowed to play on any one of the university’s sports teams. Some will  have to drop out because of financial  or family concerns. Others will excel in school and be admitted to grad schools, law, vet, or medical schools, while still others, will be admitted nowhere. Some will get excellent grades and even graduate with honors, only to find they can’t find a job and have to work in a department store as a sales clerk, summa or magna cum laude or not. Such is life. Life is full of ups and downs and it is not fair. Life is not “fair and inclusive.” Any university that gives students the illusion that it is, is not doing their job  in preparing students to survive in the real world.

In the real world, there are lots of people with lots of opinions. Some opinions will be similar  to yours, while other’s opinions will be the complete opposite. Just because someone has a different philosophical, religious, or political view, you need to respect that they are entitled to their opinion. Like any mature adult you need to learn to “agree to disagree”. You don’t need to kick them out of your life, avoid them, resent, hate them or find a “safe place” to run away from them.

In the real world, some people won’t like you for no reason at all. Other’s won’t like you because of where you are from, your family background, the color of your skin,  your personality, the color of your hair, how you look,  how much or  how little money you have, how successful or unsuccessful you are,  or how attractive or unattractive you are. Like it or not, that is the reality of life.

What you learned in the first grade -that everyone has to like everyone and get along is what your first grade and subsequent school teachers told you because they didn’t want to deal with a classroom of chaos and fighting children. But the truth is that in the real world,  you will NOT like everyone and not everyone will like you and that is OK. Some people will be Toxic to you and you will be Toxic to others. That is a reality of life, not only for  for human beings, but for animals as well.

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When I am at the park with my goldendoodle Annabella, even though she likes most dogs, there are some  dogs, she simply  doesn’t care for. She is not playful or friendly to them, like she is to others. It is her animal instinct kicking in that tells her who is friend or foe. The same is true for us humans. Our instincts also tell us who is Toxic, who to like, and who not to like.

And here is a “newsflash” for the real world:  THERE ARE NO SAFE PLACES! If someone offends you with their ideas and beliefs – (and they will), get over it!  Move on. Don’t sulk and brood and cry. Mommy and daddy, may have provided a safe physical and emotional haven for you at home. But in real life,  there are no safe havens. Maybe you got an award for just showing  up at a team sports game when you were younger. Maybe your parents helped you with your homework or may have even done it for you. If you had trouble with a classmate, friend, or teacher, perhaps they were there to fight your battles. But in the real world you can no longer rely on your” helicopter parents.”

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When I read that  students said they “didn’t feel “safe”at one of  the most prestigious universities in the south, Emory University in Georgia  simply because someone wrote the word TRUMP on the sidewalk, I was appalled. They clamored that they were “in pain” over this. Well if writing the name of a political candidate  in chalk brings you pain, then you will have a very miserable and painful life.

Students at Emory University, claimed that  writing ‘Trump 2016′ on Sidewalk Is a Racist Microaggression …,” with references to students needing “trigger warnings” and “safe spaces” to protect them from presidential candidates’ names and slogans. For many, it was another sign of college students being so overly sensitive, that even political campaigning could be seen as hate speech.

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Well, college students, get over your being overly sensitive. There are two major political parties in this country. While you may prefer one candidate, there are others out there who may prefer the other candidate. If someone supports a candidate you don’t like, they are  not  committing a hate crime. Conversely, if you support a candidate someone else, likes, you are not committing a hate crime.

So whether it is dealing with an angry looking school mascot, who has harmlessly been around for decades,  or having a difference of  political opinion from someone else, grow up and stop acting like a toddler- hiding in a safe place like mommy’s skirt or in a special room.

Not everything will make you feel comfortable in life.  So deal with it! That is what grown ups, not babies, do in the real world.

Huma Abedin’s Body Language Showed Long Time Disgust-Finally Kicks Serial Sexting Weiner to the Curb

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When I saw the documentary “Weiner” about Anthony Weiner’s sexting scandal and how he attempted to run for Mayor of NY, I cringed every time his wife Huma appeared on screen. She clearly didn’t want to be there. In fact, her body language screamed “get me out of this relationship.” There was a lot of eye rolling on her part  as well as a great deal of  physical distancing between her and her husband.You could see and feel the tension between them throughout the documentary.

In the above photo of her in the film,  we see her at a group campaign staff meeting, discussing how to spin her husband’s debacle. As you can see, her arms are crossed and she looks disgusted.  He body is tense. Eventually, she walks out of the room, leaving the group  and Weiner to fend for themselves.

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Whenever the two were seen on screen together, she often rolled her eyes, didn’t smile, looked sad, and appeared tense. Here you can see the tension in her face, especially in her jaw region. This photo above says it all. It says she is completely disgusted and turned off by her husband and at the time of the film, was  just “standing by her man” mostly for political reasons.

But Abedin finally had enough when she found out that not only was her husband sexting again with other women, but he did in when he was in his bed, sleeping next to his son. The fact that this is now made public has humiliated Huma to the core of her being.

Her statement to the press was   “After long and painful consideration and work on my marriage, I have made the decision to separate from my husband.

Apparently, Weiner has been sexting a woman from January 2015 until now, when the woman revealed what he was doing- showing off his abs and his crotch, She revealed tghat  they talked about sex.

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In one message, Weiner  wrote, “Someone just climbed into my bed.”He then texted the woman a photo showing him in his underwear with erect genitals, as his 5 year old son lay curled up next to him.

While it is one thing to cheat on his wife and sext, it becomes a whole different story when a child’s photo is taken and someone sexts a photo where the son is included . It shows that Weiner has no boundaries and extremely poor judgement.

So why did Anthony Weiner keep sexting women after his wife gave him a second chance? There many reasons:                                                                                                                                      a. He has a compulsive sexting addiction.                                                                                                 b.  He has a need for attention with a variety of women.                                                                      c. The desire to live in the  danger zone on the razor’s edge and sext strangers who could           potentially expose him is thrilling for him.                                                                                      d. He has such self loathe, that subconsciously he wants to sabotage his life.                             e. He’s in a loveless sexless, marriage where his wife is never there because she is at                  Hillary’s  side as opposed to being with him. So this is his sexual outlet.                                 f. He resents Huma and all the fame and  public attention she has  which is a constant                reminder of the fame and public attention he no longer has.                                                         g. He knows that if Hillary should win, Huma will have a major position and that will                  make him feel even worse about himself.                                                                                             h. He is bored and has nothing else to do all day long.                                                                        i. He is depressed and this is a distraction from how bad he feels about his life.

The bottom line is that subconsciously he wanted out of his marriage and finally got his wish. No doubt, Huma feels relieved that she is finally untangled from this Weiner mess. For her, this may be a blessing in disguise. While she may have wanted to dump him earlier, she followed in the footsteps of her mentor Hillary, who was equally as humiliated by her own husband Bill, for years. Like Hillary, Huma was determined to “stand by her man.”

What has happened to Huma has reawoken what happened to Hillary in the past, where people questioned why she didn’t leave Bill after he  publicly humiliated her with so many alleged affairs.

But, in Huma’s case, she could no longer allow Weiner to humiliate her, especially when he included his son in his sexting. Even Donald Trump weighed in with support for Huma as he said,” She is probably better without him.”