Toxic People- Black Friday Terrorists Among US and Solutions to the problem

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After the recent terrorist attacks in Paris, Lebanon, Mali and other places around the world, one would think that Americans would be thankful these acts didn’t occur on our shores. But after reading the headlines over  Thanksgiving and Black Friday, it seems that terrorism is alive and well among us – in our shopping malls and department stores, as there are too many out there who have  been violently attacked.

Here are just a  few of the headlines which makes one feel they are in a war zone instead of celebrating a holiday.

“Black Friday brings pain for family of  Walmart worker killed”

“Black Friday Fight Breaks Out In Baby Section Of Department Store”

“Fist fight over Black Friday deals”

 ‘Kidnapper’ is caught ‘trying to snatch a shopper’s three-year-old grandchild at Walmart’ after lurking at store for hours”

“Brawls break out at Walmart during Black Friday; shoppers wrestle each other to ground in Kentucky food court”

“Woman steals item from child, squabble ensues”

“#BlackFridayMatters: Swarms raid discount TV display; Cop punched”

For many it comes as no surprise that these acts of violence would occur. In fact there is a website designed to morbidly  track injuries and deaths during Black Friday. In fact, the day before Black Friday, there were several warnings throughout the media as to the 10 top states this violence would take place.

According to a study by real estate website Estately, which used Facebook user data and federal crime statistics to determine where people participate in Black Friday sales and where people are more likely to violently attack each other, shoppers are most likely to encounter a Black Friday fight in the following states:

  1. Arkansas
  2. Tennessee
  3. Alabama
  4. Louisiana
  5. Missouri
  6. West Virginia
  7. Oklahoma
  8. Indiana
  9. Kansas
  10. South Carolina

But these predictors were  absolutely wrong as the violence based on the above headlines of where this violence actually occurred  have been in states  which not on the Esterly  list, They include:

1. Kentucky                                                                                                                 2.Georgia                                                                                                                         3. New York                                                                                                                     4. Michigan                                                                                                                    5.Texas                                                                                                                              6. California

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There sales bring out the absolute worst in people. Therefore there must either be a more organized system for shopping during these special sale holidays  such as:                                                                                                                      a. a limited group of people are allowed to enter stores at at time                    b. they can order the items via a catalog ahead of time and pick it up at             the store or have it mailed to them or                                                                    c. they can do something like is done at Brookstone where you see the               items you want,write down your purchase ,and the clerk goes and                  gets it for you.                                                                                                                 d. or  the ultimate solution to this problem would be that these Black                Friday sales days should only be allowed to occur online.

No innocent person should have to die, get kidnapped or beaten up while shopping for some items on sale.



Dalai Lama’s Toxic statement that” only a “pretty woman could succeed him otherwise she would not be much use

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The Dalai Lama’s recent  shocking statement  that  only a  “pretty woman” could become the 15th incarnation of the  next Dalai Lama has shocked many. It makes one wonder whether he been spending too much time in Hollywood or he has been corrupted by Western influences. At first the BBC reporter thought it was the 80 year old Tibetan  Dalai Lama’s attempt at humor, but the  Dalai Lama assured the interviewer that he was dead serious as he went on to say that  she must be pretty  “ otherwise she would not be ‘much use.’

Continue reading

Toxic Verbal Violence and Verbal Murder Towards Any Political Candidate Is Unacceptable

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It is  certainly acceptable to disagree with a candidate’s views on certain issues.  It is also acceptable to express yourself passionately. But it is not acceptable to become verbally violent and commit verbal murder on a candidate because you disagree with them.  Donald Trump being brutally and anally  raped  by a male character and then killed on an episode of South Park  is not funny. There is nothing funny about being anally raped or killed. In fact close to three million men have in the United States have been victims of sexual assault  and rape. That is not satire in my view. It is sick and highly disturbing. Comedy Central should never be allowed to air such a thing. In my view it has crossed the line.

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Then to have a person on  Meghan Kelly’s show on Fox News,  Rick Lowry talk about Trumps “balls being cut off”  is in my view grounds for never having this person on the airwaves again. It is unprofessional and unacceptable.   In fact DonaldTrump  tweeted about the matter by relaying that “Incompetent lost it tonight on . He should not be allowed  on TV and the FCC should fine him!”


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As the host of the show, Megan Kelly’s body language showed that she  acted like a school girl  by tittering away and covering her eyes as she laughed. You can see in the photo above where there is a three shot of her Rich Lowry and the gentleman from the Blaze. While she is no fan of Donald Trump, she is still a host of a show and needed to act more professionally in my view. Instead of giggling and saying “What did you say?”  to her vulgar guest and covering her eyes.

Instead,, she needed to reprimand Lowry and immediately tell  him that his  language was not acceptable to use on the air. The level of hatred  towards  candidates on both sides is frightening. It speaks volumes about how too many have become so desensitized that they have lost their humanity. There has to be some level of decorum and some boundaries which should never be crossed.

Once again this is not a political blog nor am I defending any particular candidate. I would say the same thing about any candidate who was discussed in such a Toxic  manner where there were depicted as being raped or killed or had their genitals mutilated.

Shame on Toxic Hypocritical Church and Rev.Tim Mattox for Kicking Out 103 Year Old Woman

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When someone reaches the glorious  age of 103, they need to be revered not punished and put through emotional hardship. No matter what happened with 103 year old congregant and former teacher Genora Hamm Biggs  and her minister,Tim Mattox ( a former student of hers), he should never have had her banned  from the church she and her family founded, just because she spoke out and told him about things she didn’t like that he was doing and what was happening to the church. Continue reading

Josh Duggar’s Wife’s Self Blame As to Toxic Man Josh’s Cheating Says She’s In Denial

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Josh Duggar, the eldest son on TLC’s Reality Show “19 and Counting” who admitted to sexuay abusing his sisters, has now

admitted that he is a hypocrite and has a secret addiction to pornography as he was caught on the Ashley Madison site- a site

which caters to married cheaters having affairs. Anna Duggar, Josh’s wife is clearly in denial and engaging in self blaming for

Josh’s egregious behavior.

It is reported that Anna says she is not leaving her  cheating husband and will stick by him. In fact she is reported to be turning

to her faith much like her in-laws and doing a  lot of praying. In my view she and her in-laws are doing a lot of denying.

No prayer and no faith can help a very mentally sick individual  with perverted behavior, like Josh has shown to be. he needs  a

lot f therapy and not the faith based religious kind of therapy which clearly did not work on him.

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According those close to her, Anna is  trying to absorb some of the blame. for Josh’s perverted actions of cheating on her. In fact she apparently blames herself for not being more aware of the pressures Josh was under . She apparently is beating herself up for not having counseled him better.

In my view  her alleged  statements  reveal that she just as disturbed as her husband. She has no connection with reality. There is absolutely nothing she could have done to prevent Josh cheating on her, no doubt when he was pregnant.

It will most likely never happen, but this woman needs to get as far away from Josh and his family as soon as possible. Most likely she will continue to live in denial with her head in the sand like an ostrich. She will never face the reality that her husband has some severe mental problems. She  most likely will never listen to anyone who tells her that it is not her fault and that Josh did this on his own and she is not to blame in any way, shape. otr form.

While religion and faith is a great thing for most people. in this case it is not a great thing as we watch Anna stubbornly hide behind her religion and their faith and refuse to see the reality of her very disturbed husband.

While ESPN’s Britt McHenry Shows Toxic Behavior By Fat, Dental, Job, and Education Shaming, Tow Worker is Toxic for Releasing Tape

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Yes  ESPN’s Britt McHenry clearly showed what a Toxic  entitled character she had by verbally  hitting  the tow company worker below the belt as she fat shamed, dental shamed, job shamed, and education shamed the woman who no doubt,  did something to aggravate Britt.  Since nothing happens in a vacuum,  there is no doubt  in my mind that the tow worker  did  something that made Britt go off on her.Maybe she was robotic, insensitive to Britt’s  plight, cold, uncaring, had an attitude, or maybe she said something provocative that ticked off Britt.

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But by warning  Britt that she was on tape and stating she would show it, it demonstrates  how passive aggressive the tow worker was acting. By actually releasing the tape publically to get back at  Britt and now turning the tables and   shaming  Britt, it shows how Toxic  and vindictive  the tow worker  really  is.

This was a petty situation between two women. No ones life was at stake.

As soon as Britt realized she was on tape she put her hand up to her throat indicating that she was suddenly feeling vulnerable. Her large eyed look whereby you can see the whites or sclera shows her surprise and shock. No doubt when the tow worker threatened that she would show it, it frightened Brit as revealed through her body language.

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The tow worker  needed to speak up  immediately and tell the  reporter she was going too far and not not speak to her this way.She needed to tell the reporter she wouldn’t help her if she continued to speak to her like that and that she would get another employee to help her. Then he needed to get that employee to help Britt calm down and finish her business. Obviously the tow driver was too wraped up in her own feelings  instead of calming her customer down with soothing words and trying to diffuse the situation. She needed to say how it was hitting below the belt and how she  was hurting her feelings.

But the tow worker said nothing as we heard on tape. She merely displayed her  vindictiveness  at being fat shamed, education shamed, and teeth shamed by getting  back at the sportscaster by publicly releasing the tape and shaming her. If there was a nurse or a doctor  or dentist who did something to jeopardize your health, one should  out them to help protect the public and warn them about that person’s dangerous and toxic  behaviors.  After all that is what Yelp  and Health Grades is all about. But to out  a customer for a petty attitude issue is a whole different issue.

The tow worker could have also spoken up on the tape and said look, don’t speak to me that way or I won’t help you and I will get someone else to assist you if you treat me that way, or you really hurt my feelings by what you are saying. It needed to be dealt with between the two women. But she got the public involved and in my view she is just as Toxic as the reporter if not more. The reporter’s behavior is  unfortunately often what is seen in the showbusiness world- entitlement and thinking they are such a big star and talking down to others.  I have seen it countless times in Hollywood. Not all celebrities are like that but the newer ones who haven’t yet hit hard times and think that they are all that and believe their press often pull this behavior.

Since  Britt flaunted her TV career, the tow worker could have sent the tape  to the authorities at ESPN to show her action instead of showing it to the world and helping to destroy the women’s career.  Perhaps the ESPN authorities would have given her a reality check and put her on the right path in terms of how to behave with others now that she is  a public figure.

I really think it needed to be handled by both women as grown adults  and  the incident should not have  involve a third party.

There are definitely times where  Toxic people in the service business need to be called out when they exhibit Toxic behavior.  if someone is belittling, being condescending, being hateful, or harming you always need to let them know how their actions won’t be tolerated and  you need to hold them accountable.

But if  you  decide to go off on them verbally, which can often happen, there are certain rules you MUST follow.

1. You cannot berate their physical looks.

2. You cannot berate  their job and whether you think it is beneath you.

3. You cannot say how superior you are to them or how much more educated you are then they are.

4. You cannot  fat shame them and name call.

5. You cannot teeth shame them. But if they have such bad breath and unkempt teeth that makes you feel like to vomit, you can gingerly suggest they monitor their bad breath or use oral hygeine, especially if they are dealing with the public   if  their offensive smell has invaded your  air space via your nostrils you have the right to let them know about it.

6, You cannot shame their dress  or style unless they are disheveled and dirty and serving you food or touching your body, your hair or your children (waiter, waitress, facialist, hair stylist,  nurse, health care worker, child care worker).

So when ESPN reporter did all of the above, she showed who she was- a very toxic person who thought she was all that  simply because  she was on TV and no doubt probably being told her entire live how cute she looked). Well she certainly lost a lot of points in the cuteness department, because cute is as cute does .

While she was suspended it remains to be seen whether or not she will be fired. That all depends on how  the audience will tolerate her. Since the ESPN audience is mostly made up of men and since a lot of men out there can overlook Toxic behavior in a woman as long as she is cute and has a nice body and appeals to them as eye candy, she may still keep her job.

But as far as rising up the ranks and becoming a bonafide respected news reporter, she can forget it. Look at what happened to lying  Brian Williams. In my view she needs to be fired stat. There are too many other  cute young women out there who aren’t as Toxic who could do the job. Shaming others is a huge no no and makes you unlikeable. As a reporter who wants a long career, you need to be likeable.

Mainstream audiences  of both men and women may never be  forget how highly she regards herself at the expense of others. She showed a lot of insensitivity and went below the belt when she tore the woman’s looks  and who she was, to shreds.

Britt is NOT as educated as she thinks she is. Graduating from Northwestern or getting an advanced degree means nothing if you don’t have the education of how to respectfully kmy treat others. You will never advance and you will lose if you act like a superior entitled brat.  Personally, I think her getting fired would be the best thing to happen to this young lady as it would humble her and give her a reality check. She needs a complete inner makeover of her soul so she acquires more compassion, less entitlement, and less feelings of superiority to others.

In addition,  the tow worker should be fired for releasing the tape and being just as  or even more toxic by her sneaky passive aggressive behavior. The tow worker is not rthe victim here and should not be portrayed as one. She had a huge role in this debacle as well.

Aaron Hernandez Telling Body Language As Guilty Verdict Is Read

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 7.43.11 AMRight before the verdict is read we see a cocky and stoic  looking Neanderthal  looking short foreheaded  Aaron Hernandez with his head held high.

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As soon as he hears the verdict of “Guilty in the First Degree” his eyes close.This indicates that  he is closing off as this is not the verdict he expected to see ot hear.

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 7.43.49 AMHe immediately turns to where his girlfriend and mother are sitting in the courtroom to look at their reaction and perhaps to give them a nonverbal message.

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 7.44.00 AMIn seeing them sob, his own emotions begin to come to the surface as he gets a case of  dry cotton mouth  as he moves his mouth to the side.

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 7.44.17 AMHe purses his lips to hold back emotion and to deal with the dry cotton mouth as his autonomic system is kicking in.  Note that the he bald guard begins  looking in the direction of Hernandez’ emotional mother and girlfriend.

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He tries to swallow hard as the cotton mouth is really getting uncomfortable as his tongue now protrudes.

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As he swallows his eyes close in response to the frustration that he is unable to get their attention in making eye contact with them.

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Hernandez physically moves his head to get a better look at his loved ones as he shifts his eyes all the way in their direction, no doubt wanting to make eye contact with them through their sobs. But as you will see later they are not able to look at him and he cannot catch their eye gaze because their eyes are closed shut, covered and dripping with tears.Note that the guard is not liking what Hernandez is doing as he observes what is happening.

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The guard doesn’t like what Hernandez is doing  in having so much physcial freedom in turning his head  towards his loved ones, so he whispers something to him like “put your hands in back of you.”

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Hernandez does what he is told and leans his head down as he is cuffed by the guard.

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This the is reason Hernandez could not get satisfaction and some emotional comfort from his loved ones- his mother and his girlfriend. They were too busy covering their eyes and stifling their sobs and dabbing their fingers in their eyes to  blot  their tears. The mother’s tears were no doubt for the loss of her son whom she will never see again in this lifetime. The girlfirend’s tears were no doubt that she  lost her big bank bucks and now has to go at it alone and downsize.  While  Hernandez will still get his NFL pension  as long as he is alive, it will mostly go to paying off his lawyers as he had been struggling to pay them throughout the trial according to reports. Since money is scarce and lawyers fees are high, his girlfriend will no longer be living in the manner she had been accustomed to live and that means her home may even have to be sold from under her.

Aaron Hernandez finally got what he deserved, not just for killing this innocent man who happened to be his girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend. He got what he deserved for what he did all his life. He was a thug and a bully and flew off the handle and harmed and killed others for pettry perceived slights. He was allowed to get away with everything for so long.

In Florida when he was in college he was allowed to get away with his egregious behavior simply because he was a star player. The NFL also turned a blind eye until they could do so no more. He has felt entitled all of his life because he was allowed to get away with it so much simply because he played football.

It is time we stop idolizing thugs and those engaged in criminal acts and turn a blind eye simply because they can catch a ball, run fast or tackle someone. Those are misplaced values. Now Hernandez will spend his life where he belongs and will never smell freedom. But unfortunately he will be hailed a hero in prison like OJ has been while incarcerated.