As a communication and body language expert, I believe that if one is to succeed in whatever they want to accomplish, they must have good communication skills and body language so that they can effectively get their message across. The reality is that people to judge you and make decisions about you based on the way you communicate and how you present yourself. This is extremely important for anyone who is running for office as we have seen throughout the years. Continue reading
Someone sent me recent photo of Caitlyn Jenner at some social event. I have to say I was horrified by her masculine body language. Then I went online and looked at her H&M commercial, where she sat on a stool and spoke. I was motified by what I saw and heard. Someone needs to stop playing “The Emperor has New Clothes” when they are in fact, “naked ” and tell Caitlyn Jenner that being a woman is a lot more than serial plastic surgery to refine your facial features, wearing dresses, short skirts, designer clothes, heels and makeup.
Her walk, body language, gestures, voice, and speaking patterns are totally masculine. There is nothing feminine about them. To be blunt, she looks and sounds like Bruce Jenner wearing female clothes and makeup.
The biggest debate of the century will take place Monday night on September 26, 2016. There is a lot riding on this debate because it will tell us so much about both candidates as we see them up close and personal.As a body language expert and communciation expert I am sharing my advice for ech of them indivudually and for both of them as candidates.
No matter how confident Donald Trump has come across in the past, there is no question that he may have a lot of concerns regarding this debate in terms of how to best handle himself. The same is true for Hillary Clinton. Trump may be wondering how aggressive to come across towards Hillary, especially when there has been such public speculation with regard to her health issues. Hillary onthe other hand, may be wondering how to address Trump should he come out swinging- verbally that is.
The key body language tell that viewers will be looking for deals with the level of the candidate’s confidence. Do they come across Presidential or not? Do they do or say things that reflect the office? Do they show tentativeness or nervousness?
So what are the signs to look for to help us determine if a candidate is nervous vs confident? Here is a list below: They may be a. perspiring indicated by wiping their face or hands or sweat above upper lip and forehead b.rocking back and forth or fidgeting c.having extraneous hand movements d. saying like um or uh a lot e. licking their lips a lot f. taking deep breaths to oxygenate themselves g. looking down h. talking too fast i. taking too slow j. not getting to the point k. rambling and talking too much l.excessive eye blinking m. throat clearing n. nose pulling, scratching or wiping o. face scratching
Many of these “tells” can also signify whether the candidate is telling the truth or lying That is why you must listen for the context as deception can only be discovered in the specific context. For instance if Hillary is asked about her emails and you see any of these body language tells, it may indicate that she may not be telling the truth. Similarly, if Trump is asked about his taxes and you see any of these signs in the context during which he was asked the specific question, then you may question whether or not he is forthright.
The advice I have for Donald trump is
- Don’t talk about how great you are. We already know it as we have heard it way too often from you. 2. Don’t yell and get overly hostile or aggressive. Keep your cool and show that you can be level headed under pressure. 3.Use inflected and modulated tones so it doesn’t appear that you are shouting at Hillary, which will alienate people. 4. Don’t go over the top with high dramatics. 5. Stick to the issues and don’t get off point,no matter how much you are tempted to do so. 6. Keep being real with your gestures and body language as that is what makes people relate to you. 7. Tone it down by not doing or saying anything embarrassing as this is your moment to shine in front of 120 million people.
The advice for Hillary is:
1. Do not cough as it will validate what so many feel about you- that you are ill. Take a cough suppressant before you go on stage so you won’t have that issue since they are not stopping the debate incase you have a choking fit. 2. Get more animated. Don’t sound so boring. 3.Don’t use that sing song cadence where you lose the message in terms of what you want to convey. 4. Don’t shout to get key points across. Instead use inflection to make your point. 5. Stop with the phony pointing gestures used by JFK back in the 60’s because his speech coach said it was the right thing to do. It is NOT the right thing to do. If you are angry or you want to make a point- point with your pointer finger instead of using that phony gesture where you pinch your pointer and index finger to your thumb. 5. Stop smiling when you are upset as it make you look phony. 6. Don’t spin things as it only makes you look worse. Instead, tell the truth and if you messed up give a sincere apology. 7. Stop having a defensive tone. If you are upset let you face say ot along with your words.Make sure your facial expression matches the tone of what you are saying.
And to both candidate here is some major advice: 1. Please be respectful to one another. Both of you have worked extremely hard to get to this point and need to be commended on your victories thus far. 2.Do not attack one another and say what the other candidate did or thinks. Let them speak for themselves without your putting words in their mouth to make them look bad. What you don’t realize is that when you do this, it make you look bad. So don’t get nasty and hit below the belt. Keep it classy and elegant. 3.Stick to the issues and get your specific points across. Tell us what you will do without discussing your opponent in an attempt to make them look bad. Make yourself look good by not making the other person look bad. All the voter is interested in is the issues not your personality. We want to know how you really think and feel about the issues athand and how it will affect our lives in the future.
When Caitlyn Jenner first made her transition from male to female, I filmed a segment at with her at her home, way on top of a hill in Malibu, for her show ( I am Cait). In our segment, there was some intensive voice and speech training that unfortunately never made it to air. I showed her videotape of herself appearing on Diane Sawyer’s 20/20 interview and analyzed it. I relayed to her which speech, voice, and body language patterns were masculine and feminine and what she needed to work on. She seemed very receptive. We then did some speech, body language, and vocal exercises. The story line was that I was supposed to tell her not to have surgery on her vocal cords, which she was supposedly considering in order to sound more feminine. During our shoot, I told her that surgery was not a good idea. I also told her that there may be some dangers associated with the surgery that could harm her voice in the long run and that she instead, needed to do a regimine of vocal and speech and body language exercises. I also shared this in the confessional. Continue reading
The stunning beauty, Melania Trump, wearing a gorgeous form fitting white dress, made her debut at the Republican Convention’s stage. As far as delivery and body language is concerned, Melania did extremely well, especially since she is not a public speaker, does not often speak in public, and the fact that English is not her native tongue. The tone of her voice was appealing and soothing. She was poised and composed vocally. Her accent in my view, was charming and her cadence, rhythm, and timing when she spoke were excellent. She spoke with passion and inflection, especially when she spoke of husband Donald and what she believed he could do for the country.
Body language wise, her movements were fluid and elegant. She had a regal appearance with impeccable posture.
There is a lot of talk about whether or not Melania’s speech was original or whether it was the same as the speech given by Michelle Obama. It seems that they both spoke about education and their children, which seemed to be a mission on both of their parts. So it may be understandable that both messages may have been similar.
The bottom line is that she did an excellent job. Should Donald Trump be the next President of the United States, it certainly appears that Melania, as the First Lady, would handle herself with the same elegance and decorum as she showed during her RNC speech .
Once again, this is not a political stance as this is not a political blog. As an objective professional, I report what I see as it pertains to body language and what I hear as it pertains to communication patterns.
When Donald Trump was asked the most ugly and disrespectful question by cnbc’s John Harwood, who publicly called him a narcissist and then further insulted Trump by calling him a cartoon character, Trump appropriately responded that ‘ it was not a nicely stated question.” He then went on to respond in a calm and collected manner. He was also the most real and genuine in terms of his demeanor and what he said. For instance he was the only candidate who gave an honest and open answer to the question regarding his flaw ( that he was too trusting and he doesn’t forgive).
He was the only candidate who answered the question openly and honestly. The others all went into a rehearsed rhetoric that had nothing to do with addressing their flaw. Instead they used that time to address what they felt was important in their campaign.This turned many people off.
One of the biggest turnoffs was when Huckabee said he didn’t have any flaws and then went on to say to ask his wife. He did not gain any Presidential points for that. He was also rehearsed and made body language gestures which were contrived. His facial language did not reflect that he was being genuine.
Carla Fiorino had the worst body language throughout the evening which made her appear annoying. Her cocked head made her seem insecure and her tone was very defensive. When she said that he flaw was that she didn’t smile and then went off topic it was a turn off. The tone of her voice needs a lot of work. A while back Donald Trump made reference to her looks as he asked how people could look at her for four years. I say, how can anyone listen to that voice for 4 years as it is so annoying and off putting. She loses the message she is trying to send because of it. Also annoying, are the extraneous movements she makes when she speaks. One could also see a glimpse into her character as she mentions her former boss as an endorsement and claims he said that in retrospect she did things right. Then when the character flaw of her boss is brought up, she immediately throws him under the bus and distances herself from him and says that is why they didn’t get along. To me it showed a lack of loyalty as she was willing to turn on a dime if it would make her look good. To many that was a turn off.
And someone who has an equally annoying vocal tone is Ben Carson. His voice with his monotonous drone that dies off at the end of when he speaks puts one to sleep. He too loses his message because of his voice. His voice lacks energy and passion. His mono-faced expression also lacks enthusiasm and confuses his message.
While his gestures were a bit contrived at times and his voice and delivery stilted Marco Rubio came across as very level headed and in control. He came across as a peacemaker who wouldn’t take the bait when he was insulted. This was evident in his retort to Jeb Bush, who came across as weak and whiney. Rubio took the high road which made him sound like a leader. While he was bashed by Bush, Rubio responded in an opposite manner as he said he had respect for Bush. He also said he was not in competition with anyone on the stage and refused to say negative things about them. This gave Rubio points while the bashing and whining Bush lost many points.
While his pitch is a bit too high and his voice is whiney Ted Cruz said the best thing of the evening. He was real and genuine and said what was on the mind of many viewers. He called the panel on their ugly questions and what many felt was unprofessional behavior.
” The questions that have been asked so far in this debate illustrate why the American people don’t trust the media,’ Cruz said. He then went on to say, ‘This is not a cage match. And, you look at the questions — “Donald Trump, are you a comic-book villain?” “Ben Carson, can you do math?” “John Kasich, will you insult two people over here?” “Marco Rubio, why don’t you resign?” “Jeb Bush, why have your numbers fallen?”‘How about talking about the substantive issues the people care about?’
CNBC host John Harwood didn’t like that so he tried to go to another candidate and discuss another issue, but Cruz wouldn’t let him. He called Harwood on his toxic behavior and asked ‘You don’t want to hear my answer?’
to which Harwood sharply responded, in a nasty tone ‘You spent your time on something else.’
Cruz clearly got points for this as he showed that he was direct and called it like it is.
So the winners of the evening in terms of their body language, facial language an delivery were Trump, Rubio, and Cruz. The loser of the evening was the nasty CNBC panel who were out to be provocative in an attempt to garner a name for themselves and increase ratings. But unfortunately for them, their attempts backfired.