There is no doubt whatsoever that Kate Gosselin went on the Today Show, crocodile tears and all, to try to pull at the public’s heartstrings during her first of two interviews by telling how bad soon to be ex husband Jon emptied their joint account of $200,000 leaving her unable to pay her children’s bills. Yet in the second interview, she completely contradicts herself by telling how well the kids are provided for and that their money is substantial and secure and that she will be getting her own show.
During her first interview Kate’s body language belies her as she uses a victim like breathy sounding tone telling how John left her with only $1000. She looks down and casts her eyes from side to side as Meredith Viera asks her if this is accurate? Instead of answering as simple “yes’ Kate repeats Meredith’s words “this is accurate”. All of these signals indicate deception. While Jon may have taken money out of their joint account, there is no way he has left her penniless as he wants the public to believe and she knows she isn’t being completely honest. Hence, the signs of lying. She pretends to be crying as she tells of how Jon was making erratic purchases while leaving his children to go hungry.
There are also too many “uhs and um’ms as the the signals of deception increase with lip licking and shoulder raising as she panders and says “ when you have left the mother of your children so she is not able (she stammers here which is a clear indication of lying in this context) to pay for the roof over their head”.
She clearly knows this is not true and her body language shows it. In the first place, she was the one who started all of this by filing for divorce. Secondly she has made millions lecturing and being on television.
Another telling signal of deception is that she keeps talking and goes on and on and explaining. She clearly has an agenda and it is to make Jon look bad. In the second interview when Meredith asks Kate if the kids are protected. She in a strong tone with head uplifted self righteously says that the kids are well protected and provided for and that the money that “she alone” set aside for the kids is secure and substantial.
Then on the next breath, in a chipper voice tells how she will be getting her own talk show without the kids on TLC and is looking forward to that. She then goes on to tell how this show will allow her to further take care of the kids financially.
In her attempts to make Jon out to be the bad guy after he says he doesn’t want his kids on the show anymore Kate self righteously says that she is a contract honoree that when she puts her name on a piece of paper the contract is honored. Her statement is clearly a below the belt dig at Jon that he isn’t honoring their contract by not allowing their kids to do the show any longer.
Then she continues her attempts to let everyone know how good she is and how bad Jon is. When Meredith asks her about her communication with Jon, Kate says “ I have called 20 times a day” and can’t reach him. I find myself making decisions alone because I cannot reach him.” WE then see her shrugging her shoulder, This is further indication that something she is saying is not true. It is most likely the part about her making decisions alone. It may not be because she can’t reach him but because she is a control freak who likes to call the shots and make all the decisions. Maybe she can’t reach him because she calls 20 times a day and Jon doesn’t want to pick up the phone and listen to her abusing him like we say her do on the show. When Kate explained that when she told the kids there wouldn’t be filming there was sobbing and wailing, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Have these little kids grown so narcissistic that they need a camera to follow them around all the time or they can’t function? It was most likely Kate who was doing the sobbing and the wailing because she lost the revenues from the show. These kids are too young to really know what is happening or to care. And as far as the “missed opportunities” and “fun experiences” that the show provided for the kids, now she has the financial wherewithal from all from the millions she made in lectures etc to continue these fun opportunities for the kids.
Kate was asked about Jon ‘s wanting the divorce proceedings halted and wanting to reach out and apologize to her . Meredith point blank asks Kate. “ Can you become friends?” Instead of answering “yes” or” no” , Kate manages to throw in a verbal attack by saying “Obviously he has gone way off the trail “ She then continues to self righteously justifies herself that she will do whatever she can to keep peace whenever she can . Then she acts like a hypocrite and accuses Jon of playing to the media. Well, she has clearly done the same thing during this interview.
What saddened me the most was to see in what great denial Kate was in when she said she has eight of the most healthy and well adjusted children. She clearly needs a reality check. How healthy and well adjusted can any child be who has spent the most formative years of their lives – their first five years- living in a fishbowl under the microscope of a camera lens? How well adjusted is Maddy with all of her temper outbursts? How well adjusted is Colin with hitting his brothers and sisters and bullying them all the time? How healthy and well adjusted can any of these children be when they are feeling the tension and hatred between their parents as they bicker in front of millions to witness?
Ironically enough, now that the camera have stopped filming and Jon has put his foot down on this matter, they may very well have a chance to grow up and become healthy well adjusted children. In addition they will clearly need therapy to help them adjust to a new life without cameras and with a new life without mommy and day living under the same roof.
Maddy
Jon Gosselin’s Body Language Showed Sincerity, Remorse and That He Is Finally Growing Up and Taking Responsibility
On Larry King Live Jon’s posture and demeanor showed a self confidence we have never seen before. His voice was powerful and deliberate. He was sure of himself and what he wanted for his kids. He sparred with Kate’s lawyer and in my view, put that attorney in his place. Jon finally showed that he is a man and he has finally grown up. It takes a big man to say you are sorry and to show remorse and have accountability for your actions. Jon did just that on the show. He spoke up and addressed questions independently of his own attorney.
Nothing pleased me more than when I heard Jon Gosselin say on Larry King Live that he plans to take the kids off the air. Thank goodness ! Those innocent kids of primary importance and to have them no longer be part of the media circus is a great thing. Now the rest of their childhoods can perhaps be spent living a more normal existence without the prying eyes of the public.
A few months back on the episode where Jon and Kate announced their divorce, as soon as I heard little Joel tell his father to be quiet, I knew it was time to get those kids away from the cameras and out of the spotlight immediately. Even though Kate doesn’t want to do it because of her control issues and now overgrown ego, and money concerns, Jon is acting more like the responsible adult than ever before.
According to research the first 5 years are the most important years of a child’s life in terms of mental and emotional development. So if there is any emotional scarring with these children, it has already taken place. But the fact that they will no longer be in the public eye can help repair the famage in many ways.
The equation of children spending their entire childhoods in front of a camera for any length of time is not a good one. Just ask my dear friend and Child Actor Protector and head of A Minor Consideration, Paul Peterson. He knows first hand what it was like to grow up in a fishbowl and suffered the consequences as a result. He has counseled numerous child actors who went off the deep end and never came back. Child actors need a lot of support and solid parents who spend lot of time with them and who are behind them 100 percent. That is why Ron Howard turned out so well and Melissa Gilbert and a handful of others. But when child actors don’t have solid parent’s behind them like Lindsey Lohan didn’t, they turn out to be like Lindsey Lohan confused, miserable, and self destructive.
Perhaps Jon’s association with Michael Lohan, Lindsey’s father is a good thing as he learns what NOT to do from Michael’s mistakes. Taking his kids out of the limelight is a GREAT thing and I support it 100 percent.
While you can’t always compare children with animals, you can compare a living creature who was constantly in the glare of the TV camera and in the limelight and given all kinds of attention to what has been happening with these 8 kids since birth. I am talking about Knute the cute little polar bear in the Berlin Zoo that people lined up by the thousands to see.
All that attention created a narcissism that made him impossible to handle when he got older. According to the zoologist, Knute turned into a psychopath as he got older. He became so addicted to all the human attention that he howls and crys if he doesn’t have attention, He constantly acts out and is considered a problem bear. That is what happens with a lot of these child actors who were brought up in the limelight. When they grow up they aren’t as cute and don’t get as many jobs, so they aren’t in the limelight azs much. So they self destuct because they are used to that constant attention.
The vedict is still out as to what will happen with Jons and Kate kids. TAs they continue to grow, they have to be carefully watched for any behavioral problems which have resulted from theiir being under the constant glare of the camera lens, just like Knute was in his formative years.
Only time will tell what affect all of this filming has had on these kids psychologically. I think they need to be monitored regularly by a child psychologist and watched if any problems arise. The two children who need therapy the most in my opinion is twin Maddy who was always angry and crying and unhappy due to her lack of attention and obvious tense relationship with Kate. The other one is Colin who hits all the other kids and is a little bully. Kate tends to like him the best and even rewards his bad behavior. Kate being a bully herself obviously identifies with him. But this boy needs to be carefully monitored. Twin Cara needs to be monitored as well. Even though she comes across as stable and responsible, she is still a child. A quiet child who keeps everything inside my really be watched closely. Adan, the one with the glasses whom I find the most adorable seems to have been affected by his parent’s breakup as he seems more detached at to himself as though he is in a word of his own. Even little Leah seems miserable and sad.
The bottom line is that Jon said that he had to “grow up and be a man” and we certainly saw signs of that on Larry King. The first manly decision he made, was taking those kid off the air. I can’t imagine any court in the US insisting that the children stay on the air. If they say they want to be on the air and that it is their decision, they are only children and can’t make that decision by themselves. It is Kate’s decision that they remain on the air and Jon’s decision that they don’t. I am clearly on Team Jon as far as the kids are concerned.
Jon and Kate Plus Eight’s Unhappy Body Language During The 4th of July
Jon and Kate Gosselin apparently tried to put on a good front for the sake of the kids over the 4th of July, but it clearly wasn’t working. Kate had her usual displeased angry look and scowl on her face as she was yelling at Leah (the one she spanked last month). Leah, obviously ignoring Kate, us more interested in what she has in her hands. Her little cupped hand in a fist like position indicates that she is angry- no doubt at her mother’s anger an admonishing her. She has an ambivalent smile where she is attempting to be happy with what’s in her hand. But her eyes belie the whole situation. She is sad at mommy’s yelling at her.
Adan (the boy with the glasses) keeping his distance from Kate, observes Leah and hoping he doe not become the next one to be the target of Kate’s anger. His little tight hand is clenched in a fist like closed position at his side while his other hand is cupped inward. This indicates that he is both angry and fearful as he anticipates what negative experience will happen next. His once happy face is serious. His head positioned upward and little jaw jetting forth indicates anger.
Colin, the one in the red shirt is distanced as well. He seems to coping with all the negativity by being in his own little world focusing on what’s in his hand. In looking down he’s not focusing on his siblings or his parents. Looking at the down turn of his mouth there is clearly some sadness in his facial expression.
Hannah ( the one with her hair pulled back wearing red white and blue) used to be mommy’s little helper. But now it seems she wants little to do with mommy these days. She’s sticking close to daddy as we have seen her in several other photos since Jon and Kate’s martial woes. Her facial expression looks sad and worried. She’s looking at Colin in an attempt to connect with him as she observes what he is doing. Whatever Colin is doing seems a lot more interesting to her than dealing with the negative energy between mom and dad.
Alexis who used to be the happy one who was always smiling isn’t smiling very much these days. She;s holding her little hands together as a form of comforting herself. She is isolated from everyone else as she is turned to the side acting as a mere observer. She doesn’t appear to be a part of the group. Her facial expression shows sadness and her little furrowed brow shows concern and anxiety, if not worry. Her worried looking facial expression combined with the position of her hands looking as though she may even be wringing, along with her rigid body posture indicates that she iws indeed uptight and anxious about what has been going on between her parents.
Angry Maddy, the younger of the twins has a furrowed brow and wide open mouth indicating that she is upset and yelling about something. She craves attention and is clearly making sure she gets some. The fact that her mouth is open so wide indicates that she is speaking very loudly if not yelling as she craves to be heard.
Jon appears to be oblivious to Matty;s yelling. He doesn’t react to her or to any other children. He seems to be detached, based on the direction in which he is looking-(off to the side and away from the kids). He’s not connecting with any of the kids. Like Colin, he seems to be in a world of his own. And finally mothering Cara, the oldest twin, seems to be looking after the youngest child, Joel. Cara is the only one who is trying to interact with one her siblings. The rest appear to be in their own unhappy worlds. Cara is also in back of Kate appearing to be in a protective mode to perhaps shield the younger kids against mom’s anger.
It is so evident to me that this is one unhappy family. No celebration, no Fourth of July, no hot dog treats or ice cream or fireworks are going to make this family smile. Jon and Kate’s attempt at keeping up a front for the sake of the kids clearly isn’t working. The kids know there is trouble between their parents and they aren’t happy about it. That is why in my strong opinion, that Jon and Kate go for couples counseling in an attempt to really try and salvage their marriage for the sake of the kids. A lso for the sake of the kids, they need to have each of the kids in family counseling and individual counseling so that they will have a positive and productive outlet which will help them cope with this obvious upsetting situation in their young lives/
Dr. Lillian Glass Body Language Blog 