Broken Relationships, Mean Girls,Toxic People Fallout From Presidential Campaign Need Healing

The Presidential Election is finally over and President Barack Obama has been elected to a second term.  Even though I did an inordinate amount of press for it from numerous Associated Press interviews to appearing on  CNBC, to the Daily Show, Good Day LA, Geraldo, Mancow and countless radio shows across the country concerning the body language of the debaters and wrote extensive blogs on the candidates as well, I too share the sentiments of the precious little girl who went viral on youtube who was crying .

She was crying because  she was sick of  “Bronco Bama and Mitt Rom men nee. “No doubt she was sick of the hatred and ugliness she was hearing  on TV or on the radio, or perhaps from her  from her parents  and others when discussing their candidate.

While I honor that everyone has their own political views, I can assure you that  my intention  during my national interviews and in my blogs were  to never be political.I am not a political person or a political analyst. I just report what I observe from a body language standpoint. That is the truth coming from my own mouth. So when people have commented that I am partisan they are wrong as I support no party and have no agenda.

Even though I repeatedly stated this, several  refused to accept that and  subsequently spewed forth their own political beliefs via their  comments. Many went on a diatribe and leveled personal attacks which were uncalled for.

What was most shocking to me was that the ones who made the most TOXIC comments  and leveled the most vitriol were acquaintances whom I barely knew who  came out of  the woodwork.  One  such commenter was so hateful and vitriolic that my fans on my facebook page turned against her in my defense.  Apparently this  woman turned out to  be someone whom I hadn’t spoken to since I was 8 years old in the 3rd grade and whom I  only remembered  as a frizzy haired child with a strange looking  mole on her face who liked to color.

While  she was certainly free to express her opinions, when she decided  to make personal attacks  on me , especially  after I  repeatedly told  this obviously not very bright woman based on the  illogical thought patterns she expressed  and her refusal to accept that my site was not a political site.  She continued to make  personal attacks  until I told her that she was no longer welcome and blocked her from Facebook.

Next, a highly Toxic woman whom I  barely knew or  spoke to in high school but  whom I met decades later as a result of my high school reunion,  took  it  upon herself to defend  the  now grown up frizzy haired girl who was in my  3rd grade class .These two  were obviously friends who shared the same political beliefs. When I tried to once again reassure the Toxic  woman whom I was reaquainted with as a result of my high school reunion that my blogs and television and radio appearances were my observations about the candidate’s body language , she too  began to unload personal attacks until I blocked her from my Facebook account as well.

She even went to far as telling me that she, and the now grown up frizzy haired girl with whom I hadn’t spoken to since 3rd  grade, as well as a third woman- a former high school jock, (whom I  hadn’t spoken to since high school) all discussed me and came ot the conclusion that  thought that “all my fame went to my head”  and that I have turned into  a  vapid “talking head” on television.   With comments like that , it is obvious  this  Mean Girl is still mentally stuck in high school mode.

But what she intended  as  a mean cut was a actually a compliment  to me  as I am indeed  officially on the  media list as  a talking head and I  must say that I am proud of it. I should also share with you that this  Toxic woman  who made this comment  is the same woman who contacted me and  hit me up for advice about doing a television show  as she wanted to appear on camera.

Finally, a fourth woman with whom I had not spoken to since 7th grade gym class whom I only remember as having an unusually  deep hoarse voice  for  a 12 year old and who had  a very bad complexion at the time,  spewed forth her  own vitriol and made personal attacks as she chastised me for briefly  mentioning the above incident in a previous blog.

As I saw it, four  ugly  “Mean Girls’ – one from grade school,  one from junior high school, and  the  two  from high school, now  grew up and clearly  became  ugly  “Mean Women” in my view.

I certainly  am not the only one who has experienced this type of  Toxicity. There are a lot of people who turned into “Mean Women” and “Mean Men”  who   personally  attacked others they knew,  simply because they thought differently. There was no more “agreeing to disagree”  and still  maintaining  a sense of respect and dignity towards one another.

The vitriol was not only spewed  towards  remote insignificant acquaintances from the past as in my case, but  rather  with long time friends, work colleagues,  family members, and even spouses.

 

Many  saw other’s choices for a candidate as a reflection of their beliefs and personal issues. Tom, an Obama loving  gay man refused to ever speak to his  Romney supporting brother  Mike, (who  by the way was the only one  in his family who supported Tom  when he came out as being gay).  Tom said he could never look at anyone, including his own brother  who didn’t  support gay marriage like Obama did.

Another man, Ed  who was in ill health and supported Obama because of his Obamacare,  looked at his Romney supporting former best friend as a traitor who didn’t care about his friend’s heath.They haven’t spoken in months and  both never plan to speak again.

And  Jane, woman who  once had a daughter out of wedlock who’s daughter  grew up to become an attorney , will never speak to Lisa,  the Obama supporting  Godmother to her  lawyer daughter,  because Jane  is understandably,  vehemently opposed to abortion.

So when I was listened to a show on  NPR  (KPPC affiliate) discussing how once close  relationships have been destroyed over this election I listened carefully.The show told how families became divided over this election, refusing to speak to one another. One father kicked his son out of the house for not voting for Romney. One man who was interviewed on the show said that while his brother in law can come over he cannot partake and eat his barbecued cooking.

The NPR Affiliate in LA  also had another  show  about how Facebook friends  unfriended  one another due to political beliefs . They even   did a poll on it  where they found that people were indeed unfriended  others due to their political views and vice versa.

As I listened to the radio show detailing how specific relationships were so easily  tossed aside,  I thought that perhaps  these differences of opinions among so called friends may be an excuse to hang a hat on some true underlying negative feelings about the person.

Perhaps the man who wouldn’t  allow his brother in law to eat his barbecued  meat really never liked him in the first place. Perhaps the father who  kicked his  twenty something son out of the house, finally found an excuse to use  to stop his freeloading.

Maybe it was the tone of the debates  themselves which brought out people’s vitriol towards one another. How can we forget watching   the second debate where  the two candidates physically looked as though they were in a boxing ring as they circled one another in a threatening looking manner.

Perhaps it was the ugly campaign  ads  with personal attacks which added fuel to the fire  and  leaked  into our personal relationships with one another. Perhaps it was the last ditch efforts we all saw where PR scavengers like Gloria Alred  and Donald Trump were trying to dig up some nastiness and personal dirt  on the candidates, which turned out to be a dud in both cases.

Well now that the debates and campaigning  have ended, we need to heal.  We  not  only need to heal from the ugly words that infected our eyes and ears throughout this campaign.

We also  need to forgive and let go and make attempts to rekindle those once special relationships  we have  suddenly cast off.  Politics is not worth coming  between people who  once  loved and cared deeply  about one another . We need to so what we did before the election when our friends and relatives didn’t agree with us and that is to simply  “agree to disagree” and not ” throw the baby out with the bath water” or “cut off our nose to spite our face” as the expressions go.

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