Dr. Lillian Glass’ Communication and Handshaking Advice to Trump To Make Friends and Influence People

screen-shot-2016-11-13-at-6-26-44-pmThere is no question that  Presidential Candidate Donald Trump, did it “his way” and won the election.  But now that he is the President, as a 30 year veteran communication expert,  I would like to offer him some very useful advice. I  recommend that he tone down “his way” in terms of how he communicates publically. The bragging, self aggrandizement, constant self reference, lack of humility, using over inflated terms terms like “never in the history as anyone…” as it pertains to his achievements  needs to stop immediately.

 It is starting not to  work with friends and supporters and it is definitely not working with foes. It is merely adding fuel to their fire.

The universal rule of communication is  humility.  No one responds well to a braggart. No one likes to hear someone tell how great they are even if they invested a cure for cancer and solved the national debt. First and foremost, he must STOP constantly talking about himself and bragging on himself and saying how great he is. He needs others to say that about him. He does not need to say it about himself.

While  it may have worked with the late  boxer  Muhammed Ali, it was often tongue and cheek and said with humour.  It even worked for Trump when he was a celebrity and entertainer. But as a President,  it looks awful when Trump says it about himself. As a world leader, it  smacks of arrogance, self absorption,  and insecurity. It is  just plain bad form.

No matter where you live in the world, there is no doubt you were raised hearing the saying “don’t get big headed” or “don’t get too big for your britches,” don’t brag about yourself” or  “Stop showing off .” Most cultures appreciate graciousness and humility, especially when it comes to one’s own achievements. 

Yes,  self confidence is wonderful and it is essential to have a healthy dose of self esteem and confidence  for what you have done, what you are currently doing, and what you plan to do. But Keep it to yourself  or only share it with your intimates and very close circle of friends and family. Let people know your achievements but do it humbly.

No one likes a continuous braggart or someone who exaggerates for effect, or  who is big headed. It alienates  most people and it is off- putting. That is how many physicians who tend to be too full of themselves often end up in trouble with patients and in legal disputes.

Now that he is the President, he needs to keep it less personal and strictly focus on and discuss the issues just as passionately as he talks about himself.  He needs to speak less about himself and more about us and how the issues affect us.

TRUMP”S PRESSER CALLING OUT FAKE NEWS 

 Donald Trump’s recent presser focused on setting the record straight and  admonishing the “fake news” and  many less than professional journalists. In my view his speech was correct and what he said finally  needed to be said. Had I not personally  experienced  what he is talking about – the spin and negativity, I would have never believed what Trump was saying. But he is absolutely correct in this regard. 

MISINTERPRETED TRUMP/ ABE HANDSHAKE AND FACIAL GESTURE 

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I have been doing countless interviews about the Trump/ Abe handshake all over the world and have been setting the record straight that there was no problem between Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Abe. In fact their body language each showed that they really liked one another.  This was indicated by their body language. Trump did the double handshake which shows genuine affection and Abe leaned into Trump and his toes pointed in Trump’s direction, indicating he really liked Trump. He also showed a genuine smile with his apples of his cheeks raised, eyes squinted, and teeth showing. 

No one overpowered anyone. As they were equally formidable in their approach. In fact Abe directed the photo op as she told Trump “look at me” which Trump immediately did. They maintained. eye to eye contact as they both  had a strong handshake. In fact Trump remarked that Abe had a strong handshake.  

When the photo op was finally over and they both broke their strong handshake, Ave looked up ( as though he was searching for someone) and immediately an aide ( in glasses) came over to him. He did NOT roll his eyes at Trump. Japanese people do not do that when they are exasperated or when they are not happy about someone. So the take that journalists had on this was wrong. Many called me to verify that the relationship between Trump and Abe was bad. i told them that is was not and set the record straight. Most journalists were great and reported my take and saw my point of view.

But there were others who simply would have none of it.I found that distressing. When the election was taking place Quartz, a new publication which is an offshoot of the Atlantic Monthly paid me to write a story on Trump and Pence’s handshake and body language which I gladly did.

Several days ago, I got an urgent email from one of Quartz’s writers Selian Cheng who wanted to know my take on the Trump. Abe handshake.  The article involved no pay as it was just my opinion. I got back to her immediately with the view I described above. Then  never heard back from her. Finally,  she emailed me to let me now she found someone else and wanted to use other body language expert to get their different view.

I then emailed her back and asked why she even bothered to contact me in the first place if that was her aim all along  as it wasted her time and mine. After reading the article in Quartz which she wrote, it appeared to me in my view  that my quote didn’t apparently match her spin of the story which was very anti-Trump and mischaracterized the whole handshake situation,. So she simply got another body language “expert” ( and I use that term loosely)  who’s views may have  matched her agenda in my view. It saddened me as that is not how I learned to do journalism as a journalism student at the best journalism school in the country, USC.  

I felt bad about this so I wanted to share my thoughts with the Editor in Chief of Quartz. Unfortunately I didn’t get the chance because his Editorial Assistant Molly Rubin, with whom I shared why I was calling, in  what I perceived as a nasty tone, said “thank you very much” and hung up on me. So there you have it!  Obviously she didn’t want to hear what I had to say on the matter and with the Toxic behavior she showed me, I doubt anyone got my message or concern.

FUTURE BODY LANGUAGE  ADVICE CONCERNING  HANDSHAKING 

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Donald Trump is a man who is very demonstrative and effusive in terms of his affection. He even kissed Pence when Pence was  nominated as Vice President.

 Many are not used to it, so they are taken aback and they are making a huge deal out of his  kissing, handshakes and effusive greetings.

 But I can assure you the way he meets and greets is part of the norm in Hollywood and Trump is very Hollywood when it comes to his greetings. People tend to be more   open, affectionate and effusive in show business than they are in other businesses. So we tend to be used to this.

Personally, I find it refreshing. If you really like someone , you let it be known. That is what Trump did with Abe, Pence, Trudeau and others he likes. With Trudeau, they not only shook hands, they both embraced shoulders which is an even bigger display of mutual affection. It is NOT by any means a power play when it is mutual. It showed they were on equal footing in terms of their affection towards one another. 

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Trump doesn’t hide his positive emotions and I say he should continue to do what he is going in terms of being genuine  in his meet and greets, which have received world- wide attention.

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Apparently many world leaders who are planning to meet President Trump in the future are concerned with how to approach the newly elected President when they meet him. “How can the leader best shake his hand”  was the question a Chinese journalist  from China’s major newspaper asked me in regard to Chinese President Xi’s upcoming visit to the United States.

 I let her know that the best way to approach Trump in terms of his hand-shaking is to mirror him. If he does the double handshake with his hand on top of Xi’s, then Xi, also needs to do the same . This will indicate mutual warmth and affection and will not be read as Trump taking charge or overpowering. I also suggested that Xi match Trump’s strength and firmness in terms of his handshake.

 I also suggested that Xi not bold back and be genuine in his feelings, because Trump certainly will hold nothing back.  I assured the Chinese journalist  during our interview that the body doesn’t lie no matter how hard you may try to control it. The truth always leaks out. 

 

 

 

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Chuck Schumer Body Language Reveals Toxic Manipulation Dragging Refugees On Stage Phony Gestures, and Fake Tears

 

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He brings a handsome Syrian family on stage  with the women dressed in scarves and three cute children.

Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 8.01.02 PM.pngHe eyes the father. As he parades this “newly arrived family” of immigrants on stage, it seems very contrived and manipulative to me. It appears Schumer is doing this for his own agenda not for this family as they look traumatized being on stage.

Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 8.04.32 PM.pngAll children look sad and uncomfortable as you can see in the photo above.

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As he reads his speech there is no emotion and no inflection as it appears to be a monotonous drone. There is no passion in the speech as she says that he is saying No to Trump’ executive order. He rarely looks up as he reads from his script.

Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 8.10.34 PM.png ASshe says so many are opposed to this order we see him raised his finger in a rehearsed manner that looks awkwards. It is an upward point which is not showing true anger. True anger would be shown by a direct point with finger extended and pointer lower  not upwards as he has it positioned.

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He continues to sound boring and emotionless as he reads his script as he discusses the military.He then says something ridiculous that it makes lone wolves  are not so lone after all and their acts occur more not less. This  statement is nonsense as most lone wolves are usually beholden to some cause, doctrine , or group as they commit acts of terror.

Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 9.13.49 PM.pngHe does not seem upset at all facially throughout the speech as he even leaks out several smiles. This indicates that he appears to be enjoying his moment on stage.

Once again there is no vocal emotion as he speaks as she is saying negative things about Trump’s program.

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He then refers to “the beauty of these people” which is so phony and contrived as he says it. It further validates that he is using ” these people” as props for his own agenda.He purses his lips for emphasis, after he says this which is further indication of his phoniness as this is  a conflicting facial gesture to what eh just said.

His phoniness continues as he stammers as he reads from his script and says let me tell you about this family. Clearly he is reading about this family and shows know emotion or no real knowledge of this family he is using as a political prop.

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Asn he talks about the father he looks down as he continues to read about the man and awkwardly  seeks out the man’s shoulder in an attempt to show how much he cares about the man. It is blatantly contrived and phony and insincere.

Then he ridiculous slaps the poor man on thr shoulder in an aggressive gesture as eh said that the man came here because he translated for the Americans and got death threats for helping American soldiers. This is not some poor refugee that was injured or wounded in the war and left to die and rescued  he was an employee paid by Americans for his translation services for  whom he is serving and should very well be protected by his employer- the Americans. This is what is usually done and everyone knows it. yet Schumer is making it seem like this is some unusual case and that his man is some type of hero.

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Schumer makes a  fist as he continues to exploit this poor man who doesn’t seem to happy with being paraded on stage and used as a prop as you can see by his facial expression. To further illustrate Schumer’s phoniness her doesn’t even look at the man. As he speaks he continues to stumble on his words, further indicating that he is manipulating and using this man to make his point.

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Then he stumbles on the name of the next family he seeks to publicly exploit on stage. He rocks back and forth as he speaks indicating his discomfort and lack of sincerity. he then points upawrds  to the little girl maya who is 16  which makes her shirk away from him. The finger point is an angry gesture and the upward finger in the context in which he is using it is incongrous with what he is saying. This  further indicates how contrived and phony this is.

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Then he points to Hamza and reads that  he turned 14 yesterday, Haza 8, and Hara 6 as he lays his hands on these two younger children which obviously makes the older  16 year old child feel uncomfortable as you can see by her expression ,

The Schumer bangs on the podium with his hand as he says the family arrived a month ago This would have been an angry gesture but there is no anger in his voice He then elks out a smile as he says their parents ( in laws) are American citizens.  So even though he is feigning anger his gestures and facial expression are totally inconsistent with the words he is saying which means he is being phony and manipulative. He even stammers and stumbles as he says what section  in the  Bronx the parents live.

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He then uses another phy inconsistent gestures as he raises his hands and says that Trump wants us to believe that all  immigrants are terrorists when they are not but rather like these families. First of all Trump never said this and Schumer knows this . That his why one hand shows his fingers spread out and the other hand shows his fingers close together.If his gestures indicted honestly his hands would BOTH display  open  fingers in his gesturing.

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He then leaks out as smile as he says they aren’t a threat to American but a promise to America. WE all know these people are not a threat to America and he knows it too. he also knows that these are not the people Trump is referring to in terms of being a threat to America. That is why Schumer leaks out a smile as an indication of dupid delight. he knows exactly what he is doing- being manipulative and trying to pull at people’s heartstrings by using this family. But it is not working as his phoniness belies him.

Then he looks down and taps two times on the podium which makes no sense.  he then looks down and fumbles through his papers as he reads a quote from the Old Testament ( Exodus) the  New Testament ( Matthew) and then he brings up a quote by Catholic comments  Pope Frances ( who in my view has no business sticking his two cents into politics especially when his own flock  of priests are a complete disaster with raping young children and destroying them forever.)As he reads what Pope Frances says he raises his awkward finger and says “This is the Pope speaking” As you can see from the expression the children’s faces they could care less. They are bored and can’t wait to get out of their and end their exploitation.

The Schumer embarrassingly invokes the name of his dead relative Ellis whom he was named after  who was named after Ellis Island. As she does this is  manipulative and corney behavior shows clearly.

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Then for his final act he musters up a FAKE CRY with no tears as he calls trump mean spirited.

Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 10.10.22 PM.png As you can see there are no dripping tears, He just held his eyes open without clinking which caused the to glisten. But it was NOT a real cry. if that was the case you would ee a downward turn in his mouth which was not evident.

And then we see what his real agenda is-  getting some press time and promoting himself as he mentions he is a Senator from NY and how he will fight and scrap with all of his being to overturn Trump’s directive.

The bottom line is that the cry was phony and his dragging these poor families on stage with him was contrived and manipulative to further his own agenda.

 

 

Emotional and Humble President Trump During His Victory Speech as He Vows to Bind the Wounds of Division

 

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In his victory speech,we have seen Donald Trump as we have never seen him before. As he walked down the stairs on to the stage, he looked as though he was going to cry ,as you can see in the photo above.

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Seeing the audience truly humbled him as he digested the fact that he would be the next President of the United States. As he walked down stage you can see, he was overcome with emotion and looked choked up.

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As he spoke, his tones were even and measured, calm, and on even keel. He was very gracious about Hillary saying that  he owed her  a debt for the service she has done to this country and said how hard she worked. He then spoke of binding the wounds of division and was  passionate and sincere as he spoke. He also said that for those who did not support him, he was reaching out for guidance to unify this great country. 

Then he spoke of improving the infrastructure of the country and how veterans would be treated as a priority and not forgotten. He said how countries abroad  will be dealt with fairly. And finally, he spoke of seeing common ground.

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This was a Trump who was not polarizing as he spoke. He did not mention walls, deportation, borders,  ISIS or Hillary’s criminal activities as he did throughout the campaign.

For the first time, we saw his young son Baron up close and personal as he stood beside his father. Standing up there on the stage  for so long would be a challenge for anyone, let alone a 10 year old boy who stood so straight and tall between his parents. Donald thanked Milania and Donny and when he mentioned Ivanka there was a loud roar and lots of applause. He thanked Eric and his daughter in laws. Then he thanked those who helped him during the campaign including  Rudy Giuliani, Chris Christie, Ben Carson, Mike Huckabee, Generals, the Secret Service and NYPD. There was no mention of the FBI in his thank you’s for obvious reasons. 

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Vice President Pence  was also emotional and looked as though he was about to cry as well, when he came up to the stage to introduce Trump. But I noticed that there was something off with Trump’s reaction to Pence, as he thanked Pence last,as an afterthought. He briefly shook Pence’s hand and  quickly pulled away. Pence seemed to want more time and attention,  but Trump, who was very warm and fuzzy on the stage to those he thanked, seemed tense and distant from Pence as he turned around and quickly broke the connection between the two.  This made me wonder if there was some tension between Trump and Pence.

Did Trump regret his choice for Vice President? Did he feel that Pence was not loyal enough to him on the campaign trail? Did he get turned off with Pence for not defending him more intensely during the VP debates? Will he ever forgive Pence for distancing himself from him and giving his “strong” support for House Speaker Paul Ryan, who was running for reelection for his Wisconsin congressional seat? In my view Donald will never forgive him for this. Nor will he forgive Pence  for saying that he “cannot defend” Trump’s comments about women, when Pence  should have said that he cannot defend what Trump said on the bus 11 years ago,  and not generalize it to all women. Doing so, further inflamed the situation.  

It was interesting to watch the election coverage on all of the major networks like CNN and FOX and MSNBC, NBC, and ABC. So many of the commentators like Rachel Maddow and Anderson Cooper and Megyn Kelly looked shocked at Trump’s win.

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ABC’s Martha Raddatz, who  was so obviously biased and grilled Trump during the debates, actually looked as she was going to cry.

As a journalist myself,  I am appalled at how these people covered the campaign with their extreme bias. Now that we have come to find out via Wikileaks how many of these so called “journalists” were in Hillary’s pocket, I think they should all be fired. I think that the networks should get rid of all of them and start fresh. The only decent reporter was  veteran reporter Brett Hume, who spoke of his being unbiased and fair to Trump during the election.

CNN, now known as the Clinton News Network, will suffer the most as will all the  mainstream media.  Wikileaks pointed out they were all in Hillary’s pocket. American’s saw the deceit with the media and now will never trust them again. All of their numbers are dropping as a result, and rightfully so.

That is why Drudge, InfoWars and several other online venues have now emerged as the new mainstream media.

And finally, people like limelight chasing  attorney, Gloria Allred and her daughter Lisa Bloom, need to be held accountable for their irresponsible behavior in parading women around, who later admitted that Trump did not harass them or rape them. In analyzing the body language and speech  of so many of these women, as Gloria sat by their side as they read a script, which no doubt Gloria prepared, I could see how they were laden with signals of deception. I also am livid at what  her “mother -like daughter” Lisa Bloom did in pulling her shenanigan of holding  a presser for the alleged rape victim who was a no show. She wasted everyone’s time and energy.  Then the alleged rape victim admitted it was a lie.

This was unconscionable on Lisa’s part.An attorney knows if they have a case or not or if their client is telling the truth or not. It is one thing to support one’s candidate, but it is another thing to deceive the public and try to destroy someone by crying rape when it did not happen.

What Lisa did hurts the real victims of rape. What Gloria did hurts the real victims of sexual harassment. So many of the women received payment for coming forth and clearly lied. I would never again take anything Gloria or her daughter  Lisa ever said in the media seriously. In fact, I would not ever allow them on the media for pulling this garbage. If Donald was not the President, I am certain that he would sue both of them.

Whether you have supported Hillary or Donald, it is important to keep an open mind now that Donald is our next President of the Unites States of America.