Bruce Jenner Desperately Needs Feminizing Voice, Speech and Body Language Coaching To Complete His Male to Female Transition

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In making his transition from male to female,  Bruce Jenner has put a lot of effort into his skin with  injectable  lip and face fillers botox, surgically minimizing his adam’s apple, breast enhancement, and many other physical changes. But the one important change that he has neglected is the sound of his voice, the content of his speech, and adopting a more feminized body language

Having taught countless transgender clients in my practice who went from female to male how to sound like a man and  male to to male transgender clients how to sound like a woman I would love to be the one to help Bruce make these changes so that he could feel more secure and confident in his new gender role. In fact I want to personally reach out to Bruce through this blog to let him know that I can help him with establishing a more feminine voice, speech patterns, as well as a more female  body language .

After all, if I could help Dustin Hoffman sound like a woman for his Dorothy character in his award winning performance of “Tootsie”  I can definitely help Bruce Jenner.


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After it  was publicly known that I was the one who helped  Dustin to sound like a woman, transgender clients from all over the country sought out my services to help them make that vocal and body language transition which would help cement their identity in the opposite sex and allow others to perceive them as more feminine (or masculine for those seeking a female to male  transition).

My experience  in helping the  transgender population began when I was doing my Master’s Degree at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan. At the time the University of Michigan Medical Center was one of the few places in the world where people came for gender reassignment surgery. So in order to assist these patients with their total image, they were often sent to the University of Michigan Speech Clinic.

Unbeknownst to me, I was assigned one such patient- a lovely woman with long dark hair and exotic features. My first task was to do a complete speech and vocal analysis of this woman. I wrote up a very detailed report for my professor and mentor, Dr. H. Harlan Bloomer about the woman’s low pitched voice, her pitch range, and diction and how she presented herself. Because the patient had such a  limited pitch range and a low voice, I wrote up a differential diagnosis in her report  that she may be suffering from vocal cord  trauma or may have some vocal cord growths which may attribute to her vocal issues. While Dr. Bloomer said he was impressed with the detailed analysis of my report, he said I missed something very crucial. She was actually a “he”.

I must say that I was surprised as I had never known anything like this.Dr. Bloomer said that my task was to make her sound like a woman. I immediately went to the Medical Library to find out all I could about how to do that, but there were no books or articles on the topic. There was an obscure book that was written by a Harvard linguistics Professor  but it was very academic and didn’t tell what to do. So I tried to figure things out by the seat of my pants and at the end of our six week therapy sessions, my client sounded like a woman and very few could detect that she had been or sounded like a man months earlier. Because of my success with this client, I was the one who was given all of the transgender patients who needed to change their voice and speech  patterns to match their new sexual identity.

After graduating from Michigan and getting my doctorate at the University of Minnesota where my focus was now in the area of medical genetics and psychosocial aspects of speech, voice, and cosmetic appearance in patients with cranial facial deformities, I then went to UCLA School of Medicine and  did a post doctoral fellowship, doing  research in the area of birth defects and associated speech and voice disorders in the area of Medical Genetics. It was there that I really was able to hone my diagnostic skills in assessing people from head to toe, which was instrumental in my present incarnation as a voice and body language expert.

One evening, I took a break  from my post-doctorate studies and my research and accepted an invitation to my first Hollywood party. A far cry from the world of academia where I spent so such time, it was so was so exciting  and refreshing to me to see all of these glamorous and beautiful people who had so much to say about themselves, telling me about all the acting roles they got, and the next movie I would see them in. Then  it came  my turn to share what I did. I also shared my experience with them of working with transgender clients when I was in graduate school. A film producer overheard what I said and asked me for my card. I didn’t have a card back then so I wrote my number down a on a piece of paper.

A few days later, I got a call from a person whom I didn’t know who told me he was a director and that his friend at the party I attended gave him my number. The director then told me there was someone he wanted me to meet to help him sound like a woman and that I had to come to an address in Westwood (not too far from UCLA) the next day at the specified time. But there was one important thing I had to know- that I couldn’t tell anyone where I was going and what I was doing. As a naive 25 year old I enthusiastically agreed to it and showed up the next afternoon. As I walked up the long winding stairway to the front door, I began to feel a bit anxious and wondered what I got myself into. I knocked on the door and who should appear? None other than Dustin Hoffman. In the weeks and months that followed I taught Dustin everything I possibly knew about gender differences in communication. I shared with him everything I learned from working with the transgender clients at the University of Michigan.

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Years later I wrote a best selling book about gender differences in communication called He Says She Says, Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes and went on the speaking circuit where I spoke to thousands of people on the topic. I also did the TV talk show circuit on the topic. Understanding how differently men and woman communicated  with one another helped many couples learn to better relate to one another. It also helped  avoid many misunderstanding in the workplace where men and woman  now learned the nuances of communication with the opposite sex.

More business women learned how they needed to get to the point quicker, and not answer a question with a question or go up at the end of sentences, while more businessmen learned that they needed to use less command terms and take up less physical space when dealing with women. In fact there were 103 differences that men and women needed to be aware of to help them better communicate with one another.

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So back to Bruce Jenner.  Having worked with so many transgender clients,  I truly feel for Bruce. I know the emotional pain these clients have been in all of their lives. I know how they have been teased and emotionally abused. I know how many of their friends and relatives will never speak to them again when they go through the transition. I also know the very dark side of this transition process and that is that 60 percent of those who undergo the transition become so depressed afterwards that they  commit suicide. It is shocking and it is scary as they find that life in their new gender doesn’t cure all of their past issues and in fact, may create more issues than they had before.

Bruce may be one of the lucky ones in that he seems to have a good family support system with his mother and  two sons for sure and perhaps  step daughter Khloe.It seems that his younger daughters with Kris, Kylie and Kendall  are having a hard time with it. Kyle’s acting out and dating a 25 year old when she is 17 may have something to do with her ambivalence towards Bruce. The last thing Bruce needs now as he makes his transition is badmouthing from Kris. This could play havoc on his psyche especially now that he is on hormone therapy. That is why he needs to cut ALL ties with her and hire a great PR person to defect any poison PR arrows Kris may shoot at him in the media. Kris may use this opportunity to play the victim- that she had no idea about his desire to become a woman. Know that no one can live with someone for 20 something years and do business with them and share intimate moments with the person and not know something. This is not about Kris. It is about Bruce and Bruce’s PR minions need to keep making that very clear.

Bruce’s role in the recent traffic collision where his car hit a woman who was killed must also be weighing heavily on his mind. The fact that he is coming out in front of millions of people is also a Herculean task. Not everyone will embrace him. People will be mean as they have been already. With some, Bruce’s transition, threatens their masculinity and angers them for what he did.Many looked up to Bruce as a great athlete and Olympic heros.They still may want to see him this way and now when they see him looking like a woman and wearing women’s clothing, it upsets their psyche. Many will become angry because they don’t want to see him this way. Many religious people will think what Bruce did was wrong and will let him know about it. Many will call him a freak,

But Bruce is not a freak. He was feeling like he was in the wrong body for his entire life as he admitted. Perhaps that was why he could endure the punishing workouts that allowed him to become an Olympian. Perhaps he so wanted to be be seen as masculine at the time that he overcompensated. No matter what, Bruce is at a very crucial time in his life. He needs a lot of emotional support and a lot of strength.

I am here to support Bruce through my skill set as I am reaching out to him with the intention of helping him to have more confidence and credibility in his voice, speech patterns,and body language as he ventures out in the world as a woman.

Hillary Does NOT Suffer From “Uh Huh Syndrome” On Listening Tour As Sex Difference In Communciation IS Noted

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As I have repeatedly said, I am not a political person and this is not a political blog. I have no agenda and I am merely reporting what I observe and I observed something very upsetting that the press seems to be doing with Hillary Clinton as she is on her Listening Tour.

As a Presidential candidate, Hillary is on a Listening Tour whereby she listens to people’s opinions. In our culture you say umhm or uh huh to indicate to the other person you are listening and processing what they are saying. That is exactly what Hillary was doing when she responded with umhum to people’s comments and opinions. Yet some silly reporters culled a so called expert who ridiculously said Hillary suffers from Uh Hum Syndrome.

Hillary Clinton does NOT suffer from Uh Huh Syndrome or Um Hum Syndrome or any other Syndrome. She is doing what ALL candidates do who are on a listening tour.

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In his ignorant  article author  Derek Hunter stated “Mrs. Clinton nodded and said “Un-huh” 88 times during this stop on the New Hampshire stop on her “listening tour.”  I say, THAT”S GREAT!” It means that 88 times she was polite enough and responsive enough to acknowledge what someone said and respond with uh hhuh and nod. It is no surprise that the article was written by a male who is clearly not familiar with Sex Differences in communication.

Then they culled an equally ignorant female expert, Lynn Weiss who wrongly stated  Hillary was suffering from Uh Huh Syndrome . They even put together a video of how many times she said Uh Huh during her listening tour in an attempt to embarrass her:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7Ut7OCttsc

What both the author of the article and the so called expert  failed   to recognize is that women listen much differently then men listen. Men may say nothing as you speak. They may say uh huh only if they agree with something said. Women on the other hand say uh huh to let you know that they have heard you, not that they necessarily agree with you. It is a form of politeness which is meant to encourage the speaker to keep talking and that they were heard.

So here we see our first signal of misinterpretation of a female candidate and making a mountain out of something that is a natural phenomena for women.

Before journalists and so called experts begin to criticize Hillary’s communcation patterns they need to read   my classic book He Says She Says closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes  which they can get on Amazon    http://www.amazon.com/He-Says-She-Lillian-Glass/dp/0399518126 so  they don’t  continue to spread wrong information and end up with egg on their face.

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Heather Mack Cocky, Entitled, Diva Body Language After 10 Year Sentence for Mother’s Murder

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Heather Mack,the troubled and entitled Chicago teen who constantly fought with her mother to the point that police were called countless times. She was taken on a  vacation to Bali by her wealthy socialite mother, Sheila von Wies Mack in order for the two to to bond and spend quality time together. But rebellious Heather wanted no part of it, So she invited her boyfriend Tommy Schaefer to join them in Bali, much to her mothers dislike.

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When checkout time came around, Sheila refused to pay for the boyfriends hotel bill which angered him. Angrily, he  hit her with an object, killing, dismembering her body and stuffing it into a suitcase. Pregnant  Heather and her boyfriend then  fled to a nearby resort and planned to board a plane the next day for the US but they were caught and taken to jail. In jail Heather gave birth to a baby girl. The couple has finally been sentenced- Heather for 10 years and her boyfriend for 18 years.

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Heather showed no remorse for her mothers death and celebrated by guzzling smuggled in alcohol from a plastic bag. As you can see from her actions and body language she is loving her life in Kerabokan Prison in Indonesia. She is acting like a star and loving the attention lavished upon her by the press.

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She mugs for the camera and jokes with the press and calls them by name- Ari, Osha, etc. She beckons them to come closer to her cell to get a better photo and even scolds them for publishing what she considers unattractive photos of herself in the press.She mugs for them as you can see in the above photo.

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Her biggest complaint about the sentencing was that her boyfiend will have to be in prison for 8 more years when she is released and she is not happy about that. In fact, she calls it unfair. She says that he daughter needs to have her father around when she is a young girl and is upset about that. She is clearly more upset about that than she is about her mother being  dead and gone forever.

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Meanwhile, Tommy’s body language after his sentencing of 18 years was revealead by his gestures in  angrily swatting away reporters and in shooting them an obscene gesture with his middle finger. His anger is also revealed in his tight muscles around his lips and in his biting his lower lip.

In reality,  these two spoiled and entitled creatures have nothing to be angry about. They should both be jumping for joy. If their crime would have happened in the US they would have received life or the death sentence. They also could have received a death sentence by firing squad in Indonesia but their lives were spared according to the press because they were the parents of a newborn baby.

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At first it was reported that Heather was awkward with the baby but now motherhood has kicked in and her  maternal instincts seem to have taken over. She appears to be affectionate towards the infant as she comforts the baby is often seen rocking it. Maybe this is the silver lining that has come out of such a dark situation. According to  Kerobokan prison officials,  she will be allowed to keep the baby with her for a period of six months. After that the baby will be with relatives. The only hting is that there are no relatives on her side, so perhaps Tommy’s parents will care for the baby. On the other hand, perhaps a kindly Indonesian family will take care of the baby and bring the baby to see her mother for regular visits. Heather could certianly afford to do this as she inherited the millions of dollars left by her now deceased parents.

Since Heather has money, life in Kerobokan prison will be easy for her. Instead of the traditional squat toilet she will be able to have a western style sit down toilet.  She will be able to order in food from the outside and will receive top dental and medical care. She will have her own quarters with clean linens and will be allowed to freely roam the premises at her liesure . She can watch all the TV she likes and see the latest DVD’s which are regularly brought in by volunteer workers.  If she wants to do so, she can get a college education via correspondence course, If she was smart, she should look into that so when she comes out of prison in 10 years she could begin a  new life with a new  set of skills due to her education. She will be able to have a cell phone and use the computer to her heart’s desire.

Tommy may have it even better  than Heather in prison as he too will have all of these things in Kerobokan Prison but he will have tennis courts and tennis matches where he can participate. He can help raise dogs in the prisoner assistance dog program they have, he can continue his education as he too as complete access to computers and cell phones. He and header can speaker 24 7 id they like. They can video chat and text one another at will.

Since the emphasis at the prison is rehabilitation, they have sewing, silversmithing,reflexology, and Norwegian philosophy classes, and  hairdressing and barber skill training. They can also continue with a formal education at any University of their choosing that offers an online degree or a correspondence type of program. They can also get all of the psychological counseling they want as there is regular counseling by visiting psychologists. So Heather an work out her mother and her mental issues, while Tommy can work out his anger issues.

The whole situation is so terribly sad.  At 62, Shelia von Wies Mack is dead after close to two decades of struggling with her very difficult daughter. May she now rest in peace and may Heather treat her own daughter a lot better than she treated her mother.

Jodi Arias Musgshot Shows She’s Scared As Reality Finally Sets In

Screen Shot 2015-04-14 at 11.11.26 PMGone is the smug smile, the cockiness and the “I know I am going to eventually be a free woman” attitude.  Present is the fear based on her  tear glistened eyes, flat mid-face, pallid skin tone,  and  the tight muscle tension in her  lower jaw. Her autonomic nervous  system has taken over and gone into high gear. This is not the face of the Jodi we have come to know over the past seven years.It is a Jodi that just had the most severe reality check of her life- that she can no longer manipulate people or the system and that she will only leave prison in a pine box.

While she knew she would get punished for what she did to Travis,  there is no doubt that she thought she would be getting out in 25 years or less. As  this reality settles into her mind and soul, the once happy go lucky  Jodi with her dangerously  sickening sweet sing song voice will become more and more depressed as the drawn out long days stare her in the face.  When you do see photos of Jodi on the coming years, she may not look recognizable to you as her facial muscles will morph into giving her an whole different look and it will not be for the better.

In Perryville no one will be putting up with her shenanigans. Her  smug ” I am smarter  and better than you” arrogance will not do her any favors in prison among the other inmates.

Jodi is not a likable person and didn’t have many friends in life until she joined the Mormon church and then for the first time in her life,  found a whole new social life because of Travis.

While her new Mormon friends embraced her initially, they soon became wary of her. They felt something was off with her and ended up not liking her. Jodi did not learn how to make friends  and influence people throughout  her life. While she learned to manipulate, seduce, and blame others, she never learned how to genuinely connect with others. Her lack of social skills will not put her in good standing in prison. In fact, it will make her a moving target of hate from her fellow inmates.

So don’t be surprised if down the road,  you hear that Jodi has been involved in some type of attack or assault by fellow inmates. This is not wishful thinking. Jodi just happens to be a good candidate for being assaulted due to her cocky arrogance and the ” I’m better than you” air she gives off.

Jodi Arias Allowed to Live As Travis Alexander’s Death Teaches Us About Trusting Our Instincts When We Realize Someone Is Toxic

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The verdict is out and  Jodi Arias will not die by lethal injection, nor by any other means, after slaughtering her ex boyfriend Travis Alexander. Even though 11 of the 12 jurors felt that death would be the right punishment for her, there was one lone juror who refused to commit to having Jodi put to death.

As someone who does jury selection and trial consulting for a living, you can never ultimately predict  what will happen in a real trial. Even if you ask jurors who are serving on a death penalty case if they could in fact choose death as one of their choices and they answer “yes”, when push comes to shove and they have to make the decision as to whether someone lives or dies, many cannot choose death after all..

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When the judge told the jury that they had to decide on an outcome after four days of deliberation, I knew that Jodi would most likely  not be put to death. Now she has to await the judges decision, which will occur in April,  as to whether she will spend life behind bars without parole or life with parole after two and a half decades when she will be in her mid fifties as you can see by this art rendering of her aging.

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Whether or not she gets life or life without parole, there will be times at the harsh Perryville Prison  where Jodi will be baking in the scorching Arizona sun, in an open air cage, that she may very well have wished she received the death penalty when the other prisoners make her life a living hell.

The bottom line is that Jodi will be living under harsh conditions where she may spend most of her time in isolation in order to protect her from other prisoners  because she is such a high profile case. This could be the worst torture of all for Jodi Arias who thrives on attention and manipulation of others. If there is no one to manipulate or to give Jodi, her attention fix, life for her may not be worth living.

In any event, one does not have to be killed to receive just punishment as Jodi will soon discover in her new home.

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One of the most anguishing sites at the trial was seeing Travis’ sister, who loved her brother so much, break down and cry in such pain. She was inconsolable, while  Jodi  was at the other end of the courtroom showing no compassion and no emotion as you can see below. Perhaps she was in shock. Perhaps she had expected to receive the death penalty.

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One of the things that jurors said after the trial was that  throughout the trial, Jodi showed no remorse for what she did to Travis. This was not surprising to me. The bottom line is that Jodi actually believed that she was was a woman scorned. In  her warped thinking,  she no doubt felt that Travis got what he deserved. That is why she showed no remorse and no genuine emotion. She did not feel sorry for what she did to him. She felt that he abused her and used her and he had what was coming to him.

While almost all of the jurors felt the opposite, there was one juror who obviously thought along the lines as Jodi. She too, felt that Travis abused her and used her.

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While so many people remarked that Travis was a wonderful guy, truth be told, he was full of contradictions. He wanted to follow his faith and not engage in sex before marriage, yet he continued to engag in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi she was not the woman for him and wanted to find a pure Mormon wife, yet he continued to engage in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi to leave him alone and not stalk him, but yet continued to allow her into his life and into his bed. He allowed her to clean his home. He allowed her into his life, instead of calling the police and getting a restraining order against her and being vigilant about her ever being in his presence.

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When Travis first met Jodi he was taken with her. he thought she was beautiful, glamorous and super sweet. But her sickeningly sweet tones belied her. They reflected a great deal of psychopathology. As Travis got to know Jodi, he realized there was something very wrong with this woman. Yet, he continued to take her to bed and have sex with her. He continued to travel with her.

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He  eerily voiced his concern about Jodi being a serial killer to many of his friends. Even his friends picked up on the fact that there was something off about Jodi as they asked in disbelief, if she was always that “sweet”. It was that sickening sweetness that didn’t ring true to either Travis or his friends.

But being the nice guy that he was and wanting adventure as well as ” having his cake and eating it too”, he ignored his instincts. He ignored what he saw and what he heard out of Jodi’s mouth. He ignored her tones and her actions.He ignored his own gut level reactions that he shared with friends, and unfortunately,  he ignored the action he need to take. That action was to stay completely away from Jodi and never allow her  back into his life under any circumstances. He needed to cut off the phone calls and the visits for good.

His lack of listening to  and trusting his initial instincts about Jodi and acting upon them,  tragically  cost him his life. I am in no way blaming the victim – blaming Travis. Instead, I am pointing out how his death can serve as an example to all of us and to our children. If we see and hear and feel something is not right about another person, we must cut it off asap and never look back.

When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, when you feel queasy or nauseated around the person, when you have a tinge of fear around them- run as fast as your feet will carry you and never look back.

And remember to never trust anyone with a high pitched baby girl sickeningly sweet breathy, monotone,  voice quality devoid of demotion. This voice often reflects a passive aggressive personality. Their voice indicates that they are hiding something and not revealing their true selves.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. There is alway a  “cause” and and an “effect”. The “cause” of Travis engaging in sex with Jodi and then taking a shower to get ready to take another woman out of town created the “effect” of  having a very disturbed woman  brutally murder him.  The cause of his not listening to and trusting and acting on his negative  instincts about  Jodi, created the tragic effect of him leaving the earth way too soon.

Travis did not die in vain. His death teaches us  that we all to pay close attention to that gut level feeling that tells us something is wrong with being around a specific person. If you are around someone where you even joke about them being a serial killer, get away from them as soon as possible. Your instincts are screaming that something is wrong.  Had Travis listened to his gut and trusted his instincts and never allowed Jodi  into his life again, he would probably be alive today.   May he rest in peace and may Jodi be held accountable  and deal with the effects that her actions caused for the rest of her natural life.

Michelle Obama Body Language Shows She’s Disgusted By Saudis and Lack of Head Scarf Makes A Loud Statement

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Michelle Obama’s body language clearly shows that she is no fan of the Saudis. For one, she refused to wear a head scarf during the visit. This apparently upset Saudi’s and other Muslims throughout the world as was reported in the press. While one could think that she may have made a mistake or breached social protocol because she wasn’t aware of the customs this was clearly not the case.  .

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In 2010 when she visited Indonesia, she respectfully donned a head  scarf for her visit. So she clearly knows the rules and the drill in Muslim countries. But this time she decided that she didn’t want to show respect for the Saudi’s as she went bare headed.Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 7.26.39 PMWhile she may consider herself very special  on American soil where she gets a lot of attention,  on Saudi land hardly anyone  shook her hand or even spoke to her.  This clearly disturbed her as you can see from her soured look and her angrily grabbing on to her own wrist with a fist-like handf. This clealrly showed that Michelle was angry.

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 7.26.12 PMShe hated being in the  background  in this very patriarchal society and detested  not acknowledged. Here we see her looking at her husband getting all the attention while she is essentially ignored.

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Her angry faced expressions continued throughout the visit as she could not hide her contempt.

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Her angry and disgusted looks continued throughout the visit as you can see. On the one hand, as a Western woman who can blame Michelle for her feelings where women are not allowed to drive, have no independence and need the permission of a male relative (husband, grandfather, father,  uncle, brother, or son) to do anything. There is no such thing as women walking alone  on the street at their own free will. Women can only go to women doctors and study in classes where there are only women.Women have little or no value except to marry and have children. If their husband wants to take multiple wives, they have no say. They also cannot initiate a divorce and their husband. However their husband can get rid of them just by uttering that they are divorcing their wife. There is no such thing as alimony and if the husband is Toxic or heartless he can render her homeless and penniless.

But from the view of being First Lady and accompanying her husband on a good will trip to meet and greet and the new King Solomon, many believe Michelle did not act correctly. They believe that she should have donned a head scarf and should not have worn pants but a long dress instead. This visit was not about Michele, It was about trying to make friends with the new leader. Clearly, there was no winning friends or influencing anyone via Michelle’s actions. In fact many took this as a personal insult or slap in the face.

From my view I believe that one must respect the cultures of others when you are on their territory. I myself have even donned a head scarf when I have lectured in certain countries where the head scarf was expected to be worn by women. Even though I was a Westerner I thought it was more respectful if I wore one and it was very well received and much appreciated. It showed that I respected their culture.

Michelle’s body language can be translated  by many as reported in the  press as to her being defiant and arrogant. There was no question that she was angry and disgusted. There was also no question that her presence and actions were not very diplomatic.

No Surprise Bachelorette Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray Broke Up As Body Language Showed Relationship Problems Early On

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It is no surprise to me that Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray ended their romance as I detected problems months ago as Iexamined their body language.

Before the Final Rose, I did a blog predicting that Andi Dorfman would choose Josh Murray over all of the other contestants and it turned out to be the case. At the same time I predicted that if Andi wasn’t treated  like a priority and a star in the  relationship, there would be trouble . Based on their body language after looking at their twitter and instagram photos,, there seemed to be  trouble with their relationship which seemed to  begin right after the post Bachelorette interviews as you will see.

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It began in the above photo when they were both in NYC and Josh was continually seen walking in front of her and not by her side or having her out front. After all she was the star of the show and didn’t need to be dragged behind. It was disrespectful and screamed of Josh wanting to take control.

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During the interviews it was as though Josh acted as though he was the star of the  Bachelor  and not the other way around with Adni being the star He constantly  kept interrupting her and stepping on what she was trying to say. He constantly kept trying to dominate  the conversation and this did not go over well with Andi.

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Andi was so annoyed by this that she even reached out to touch him as a signal for him to be quiet and let her speak.  She tried several times to be out front in center but he would not let her.

There was also a  below video which literally made my skin crawl where Josh tried to take over. It was uncomfortable to watch as you can see. He tried to dominate . A competition  between a couple never works in a relationship as you can see in the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5kTgqthBU

                                                                            Nick Debacle 

Also Josh was visibly annoyed when interviewers would bring up Nick Vial outing Andy for sleeping with him when she was going to choose Josh. Josh was literally squirming in his seat  through a phony tense smile when this topic came up. In one interview you could see him smile as she reached for a glass of water and sipped it, indicating that his autonomic nervous system was working overtime. Deep down he most likely was distressed about this. Adding to his distress and to why he may be so distant, which may be the underlying reason for tension in their relationship  is the public’s commentary in slut shaming his fiance.

The whole Nick outing of Andi needed to be handed differently. Andi needed to have put an immediate stop to the fallout of Nick outing her for sleeping with him by saying on these interviews that a.she really didn’t know it was Josh until the last minute because she still had some concerns b. when she said during the proposal show that she always knew it was Josh all along. She needed to say she was caught up in the moment and excitement of the ring ceremony. She needed to explain that what she meant to say was that she was super attracted to Josh as he was her physical type the second she saw him. People would understand that.

Since Nick  gave Andi such a zing on TV  in hindsight , she could have done several things instead of saying it was private. She could have lied and said” what are you talking about, I never slept with you. How can you lie like that?” This woud have put Nick in his place. She also could have said that she thought he might be the one until that night when she found no sexual chemistry with him.That too would have put him in his place.

But Andi was understandably taken aback, so it was difficult to come back quickly.

As for Nick, there is no question that he is a Toxic and evil and revengeful man who literally  punished and destroyed Andi for not selecting him. He  helped  destroy the beginnings of a future with Josh. I say” helped” because Josh it seems can’t get past this and has detached as you will see in the photos below. Nick destroyed Andi’s reputation and career opportunities. Perhaps the reason DWTS didn’t choose her was because of all of the slut shaming and negative fallout and reaction to her  from what he revealed to millions of viewers.

This is a shame becuase DWTS could have added to Andi’s fan base and her career outside of law as a possible show host ( a legal show host specifically).

While Nick may have contributed to the possible destruction of Josh and Andi’s  relationship, there were other things in force since day one. Andii and Josh  may have been a physical match and looked cute together, but they were no mental match. Andi is super bright and after a while his inability to mentally stimulate her could grate on her nerves. Since he is such a competitive guy, no doubt there may have been competition with Andi to put her in her place and show he is the boss and to attempt to control her as he demonstated in several interviews. Andi does not need to take a backseat to anyone.

                                                                                         Josh’s Family 

The next major red flag concern was Josh’s family and his mother telling her in no uncertain terms that Josh was never going to cut the apron strings. No woman wants to hear that. Perhaps that is why we see Andi not looking so thrtilled in photos when she has to attend Aaron;s games.

My initial concern about the relationship took place when I saw the visit to Josh’s family, especially when Josh’s mother Lauren spoke of Josh never cutting the apron strings with her. Afterwards Andi’s facial expression said it all as it did when Josh’s father told her let her know that Arron and family football games were a priority. Even Andi expressed concerns that the family wasn’t as happy for Josh finding love as they were about Aaron’s football career.

The next huge red flag  issue which I saw during the family visit was that  the family didn’t see the specialness of Andi and in stead were more interested in their favorite son Aaron and his newly engaged mate. Andi seemed to be an afterthought to Josh’s mom. Josh is also a self described  mamma’s boy and that never works in a successful relationship


Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 5.52.59 AMAbove is Josh showing off and taking the limelight which I am sure Andi found annoying after a while. Andi is the star and Josh did not allow her to shine in my view.

Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.06.19 PM Andi has a tense smile around Josh which was not genuine. You could see that he made her uncomfortable after a while.

Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.01.06 PM Josh’s mother seemed more thrilled that Arron got engaged in my view. While she did put a photo of Josh and Andi up  on her page she didn’t seem as thrilled about it. Also you can see here how stiff and uncomfortable Andi looked around Josh. There was also too much distance between them as they both seemed t be repelled by one another. Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.02.06 PM Josh seemed to give the dog more attention and affection  than Andi. Amdi was a trouper and tried to embrace the dog. Once again there is too much distance and not enough affection between Josh and Andii.Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 6.22.18 AM Andi looks miserable with Josh and his sister. Look at her smile it is pained and not genuine as the apples of her cheeks are not raised and her eyes don’t squint in  a genuine smile. Also she needed to be standing next to Josh not the sister. Joshn’s hand in his pocket to me indicates he has something to hide-like his true negative feelings towards Andi.Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 6.18.04 AMHere we see too much distance between the couple and a very non genuine tight smile with Andi.
Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 5.36.58 AM

Here we see no smiling eyes which indicates a lot of tension in the realtionship. Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 6.25.03 PM

And finally by the time Thanksgiving rolled around it was clearly over as you can see by Andi’s body language.Too much distance between Josh and Andi and a sour expression on Andi’s face, Her arm i over the chair and Andi looks stiff and uncomfortable  around Josh.

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 6.25.21 PM

This photo says it all with Andi all the way at the end while Josh hugs mama and sister . How can any woman compete with that?    It shows that Andi was not as importanta s Josh’s family.                                                              

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 10.00.21 AM

  Slut Shaming In Media

Because this wasn’t addressed  immediately, Andi  was slut shamed and called the most promiscuous bachelorette. Even one journalist actually called her a slut on Fox TV. Unfortunately I believe this had a very negative impact on her relationship with Josh because he appears to be to insecure to handle this and may feel it reflected poorly on him. And unfortunately it may also have a negative impact on her brand and her credibility and her career in the limelight .If she was a bimbo like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton it would not matter. But she is a formidable professional  woman and it does matter. I will adress what she needs to do to rectify the situation later on in this blog.

This must have had an impact on their relationship. But during the interviews I saw Josh trying to be in charge and become center stage. Truth is Andi is the star and he did not let her speak. He needed to take more of a backseat publicaly.

I also predicted that there would be problems in the relationship if Andi wasn’t treated as a priority. Andi has been a star all her life -in school and in her family and with her friends. For her to be in a relationship where she is not the star, but rather takes a backseat was no doubt in my view, torture for her. She needs to be front and center where things revolve around her- not Josh or his family. She is very special with star quality and a man needs to recognize that.

At first they couldn’t get enough of one another and were all physically entwined  in one another but it qucikly changed as Josh revealed his true competitive personality towards her.

Andi is  certainly the brighter of the two and the “star” of the relationship as I see it. Josh needed to both understand that and respect that for it to work.

Now that they broke up, Andi lost  the million dollars she would have  received from ABC if they had the  the lavish wedding, But she may be saving herself in the long run.Josh had no life before Andi came into the picture. Although he may have been  in the finance business  to me it didn’t seem he was that successful To me he just seemed like a companion and cheerleader to his brother Aaron.  He wasa  failed baseball player who never made it to the major leagues. Now we have come to find out that he was in trouble with the law in 2008 and arrested  in a booze fueled faceoff with a police office To me this shows that Josh may have had or still even has  issues perhaps with authority as well as anger issues and maybe even possible alcohol issues. Regardless, this does not look good in my book. The last thing Andi needed in her career asa DA was to have a husband who had problems with the law. It would not bode well for her.

In my view, Andi’s choosing him as a potential mate, gave him a career and made it possible for the management company to be interested in him. Prior to their meeting he had nothing of that nature and no one was interested in him.  Now that they have broken up, his brand most likely will not be as strong and he may not get the gigs he thought he could get becuase they are no longer a couple. In my view most people will now lose interest.  That  happens when the real l brand is over which was Josh and Andi.

But even if his own brand dies which it will he had now has some experience with how it all works so he could change his course and become his bothers manager and try to get him endorsements since Aaron is a bonafide football star and may have more public likeability. In my view how Josh treated Andy during their interviews and publically shows that he is not likeable  and has an edge about him that is not appealing to the masses in my view.

If I seem harsh about Josh it is because if he was smart he would have shown more  respect for Andi and allowed her to shime as he was the star of the show and he forgot that. It seemed to be too much about Josh and his needs and not about both of their needs as a couple.

                                   ReinVenting Andi’s Image – What Andi Needs to Do to Save Her Career 

Now that they broke up, Andi needs some major PR to  clean up her brand and her reputation. In essence, she needs to reinvent herself.

1. She needs to take some of that Bachelorette ]money and invest in a top gear  PR agent. Maybe she can also revisit  the Nick  issue and make it clear that he was not a gentleman but she slept with him because she had serious doubts about Josh after she met Josh’s over controlling family. She needs to say how Josh’s family upset her and how that was a factor that she considered which confused her and drew her to Nick as she loved his family. She needs to have a PR campaign about Double Standards in women  and slut shaming and bullying women and address women’s sexuality in her media  pr campaign in order to regain her reputation.

2. She needs to also talk about how when one is considering marriage they marry a family and  hoew Joshs Jock family was too invasive and not for her. She needs to make women aware that a family is just as important as the relationship. She needs to say how she couldn’t take a life of football games and everything revolving around Josh’s brother Aaron. She also needs to speak about losing herself in the relationship and how ultimately the family’s life style was not for her. She needs to admit how she and Josh could never build a family of their own with all of these outside family pressures and influences.

3.   Andi needs to drop the dress desiinging and clothing design career. The tee shirt she  It may be good as a hobby but  there are too many other designers out there who are much more talented  for her to succeed .

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 9.33.44 AMScreen Shot 2015-01-09 at 9.30.54 AM

Andi took a 1967  famous Anti War poster and put a silly little peach where the O was supposed to be and where the type is esentially the same.  and is selling this what many could view as a plagerized art form for $48 dollars. It has cheapened Andi and made others disrespect her. So she needs to cut lose of that clothing designer fantasy she has. So far she has not shown that she is creative in this area.

Screen Shot 2015-01-09 at 9.39.28 AM

Also with regard to her $15 dress she made for the Bachelor red carpet event, it smaked of pasive agressiveness to me.  It said I am not going to try anymore because I know my relationship with Josh is over so I don;t care. i refuse to go all out and dress uo.  First of all the color was awful and material looked cheap. For the event that it was, she needed to glam up as she glammed up throughout the show. Certainly she would have borrowed and outfit but this was a statement that she is in the designing business and it didn’t work. The dress did not show off her figure, In fact  it added pounds to her in my view. It certainly did not show her dress designing skills as it was not exciting or different.

2.She needs to focus on her uniqueness as a district attorney and come from her strength and intellect. She needs to do legal commentary. Since she is in Atlanta she may want to get her chops by being a local legal analyst on a local TV station. She also needs to hire a PR agent who specializes in getting her legal commentary gigs so she could be on the radio and on TV  and online all the time and build up her  media portfolio in a more respectful manner, not as the Bachelorette. She is also in Altanta which is the headquarters of CNN so she could easily be a legal guest on many of  their shows.

4.While she is very pretty her voice leaves a lot to be desired. She needs to see an ENT surgeon to restructure her sinuses as she is super denasal and that could hurt her media career as she is  very difficult to listen to. She needs some major voice and speech therapy training to help her get rid of the denasality. But to me is sounds like a structural problem so she needs to have the inside of her nose revamped surgically. She needs to go to the ENT Dept at Emory University in Atlanta  and see  what they can offer her. She also needs to go there for speech and voice therapy and coaching. If she cant find anyone in her area she needs to call my office in Los Angeles  and I can help her sound better for sure. She also needs to work on her on camera presence so that she works on her Bitchy Resting Face and downturned mouth which is not appealing especially for a media career. That would require a lot of  work on her part and once again  I could certainly help her with that

5. And finally she needs to thank God she is away from that Toxic Jock Family where she fit in like a sore thumb. She needs to  find a man who is  on her intellectual level and emotional level as  there was a lot missing with Josh. He may have been handsome and had a nice body but that wore thin as he was no intellectual or emotional match for Andi.She is one lucky lady who got out of that relationship before it was too late. I hope she follows the advice in this blog as it could turn her life and her reputation around in a very positive way.

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