Toxic People- Black Friday Terrorists Among US and Solutions to the problem

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After the recent terrorist attacks in Paris, Lebanon, Mali and other places around the world, one would think that Americans would be thankful these acts didn’t occur on our shores. But after reading the headlines over  Thanksgiving and Black Friday, it seems that terrorism is alive and well among us – in our shopping malls and department stores, as there are too many out there who have  been violently attacked.

Here are just a  few of the headlines which makes one feel they are in a war zone instead of celebrating a holiday.

“Black Friday brings pain for family of  Walmart worker killed”

“Black Friday Fight Breaks Out In Baby Section Of Department Store”

“Fist fight over Black Friday deals”

 ‘Kidnapper’ is caught ‘trying to snatch a shopper’s three-year-old grandchild at Walmart’ after lurking at store for hours”

“Brawls break out at Walmart during Black Friday; shoppers wrestle each other to ground in Kentucky food court”

“Woman steals item from child, squabble ensues”

“#BlackFridayMatters: Swarms raid discount TV display; Cop punched”

For many it comes as no surprise that these acts of violence would occur. In fact there is a website designed to morbidly  track injuries and deaths during Black Friday. In fact, the day before Black Friday, there were several warnings throughout the media as to the 10 top states this violence would take place.

According to a study by real estate website Estately, which used Facebook user data and federal crime statistics to determine where people participate in Black Friday sales and where people are more likely to violently attack each other, shoppers are most likely to encounter a Black Friday fight in the following states:

  1. Arkansas
  2. Tennessee
  3. Alabama
  4. Louisiana
  5. Missouri
  6. West Virginia
  7. Oklahoma
  8. Indiana
  9. Kansas
  10. South Carolina

But these predictors were  absolutely wrong as the violence based on the above headlines of where this violence actually occurred  have been in states  which not on the Esterly  list, They include:

1. Kentucky                                                                                                                 2.Georgia                                                                                                                         3. New York                                                                                                                     4. Michigan                                                                                                                    5.Texas                                                                                                                              6. California

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There sales bring out the absolute worst in people. Therefore there must either be a more organized system for shopping during these special sale holidays  such as:                                                                                                                      a. a limited group of people are allowed to enter stores at at time                    b. they can order the items via a catalog ahead of time and pick it up at             the store or have it mailed to them or                                                                    c. they can do something like is done at Brookstone where you see the               items you want,write down your purchase ,and the clerk goes and                  gets it for you.                                                                                                                 d. or  the ultimate solution to this problem would be that these Black                Friday sales days should only be allowed to occur online.

No innocent person should have to die, get kidnapped or beaten up while shopping for some items on sale.




Dalai Lama’s Toxic statement that” only a “pretty woman could succeed him otherwise she would not be much use

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The Dalai Lama’s recent  shocking statement  that  only a  “pretty woman” could become the 15th incarnation of the  next Dalai Lama has shocked many. It makes one wonder whether he been spending too much time in Hollywood or he has been corrupted by Western influences. At first the BBC reporter thought it was the 80 year old Tibetan  Dalai Lama’s attempt at humor, but the  Dalai Lama assured the interviewer that he was dead serious as he went on to say that  she must be pretty  “ otherwise she would not be ‘much use.’

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Obama was NOT Being Rude or Disrespectful to Newly Elected Mexican President Nieto



I did a radio interview with Dan Cruz on Clear Channel radio who was concerned about the allegations by the press that Obama was rude to newly elected President of Mexico  Edgar Pena Nieto when he recently visited the White House.

I assured Mr. Cruz that this was NOT the case. President Obama was NOT being rude to the new President of Mexico. In fact Obama actually appeared to like President Nieto as indicated by Obama’s body language.

It shows that there are too many armature body language experts out there and over zealous journalists looking for a story and trying to make a mountain out of a molehill as they misinterpret body language and communication signals.

While it is true that Obama didn’t initially look directly at Neito when he spoke to him at the press conference, it did not mean that he didn’t like Nieto. The fact that Obama’s legs and toes were pointed in Neito’s direction showed that he did indeed like the newly elected President of Mexico.

His not looking at Nieto while speaking could have been attributed to the fact that he was looking and speaking directly to the translator as you can see in the photo above.

 When Obama spoke you could see that he appeared to be absolutely exhausted based on his facial appearance and body demeanor. The fact that he was slunched over and  reported to be “too casual”  in his meeting with Nieto by critics may be explained as mere exhaustion as you can see int he photo above.

There were several occasions where Obama looked down and appeared to be ready for a nap rather than a meeting. And who can blame him after a grueling Presidential race that was neck and neck. 

AS Obama listened to what he said in English translated back into Spanish  by the interpreter it appeared that he had his mind elsewhere as you can see int his photo. While he does not face President Neito directly at this point , you can see how his crossed leg does point in Nieto;s direction. Neito not he other hand is listing intently to the translation.

But when Nieto speaks it is  different story. Obama has direct eye contact with him and listens intently. Obama is   also often seen nodding his head in agreement when Neito speaks. Obama’s body is turned towards Nieto as though he is open and receptive to him.

So once again, it goes to show you that you can’t always believe what you read or what you see for that matter unless you understand the nuances of body language analysis.If you can’t to lean the nuances I suggest you get my latest book on amazon called  The Body Language Advantage which gives away all my body language reading secrets.


Jerry Sandusky’s Voice and Speech Content Show Signals of Deception Guilt In Costas Interview

Bob Costas asked Jerry Sandusky if he ever touched the genitals of any boy. As Sandusky replied  that he didn’t,   his voice quality sounded shaky and tentative.

Then Costas said if this is not so,  then you must be the unluckiest man and most persecuted man we have ever heard of.

Jerry pauses for several seconds and then chuckles. This reaction is contrary to anyone who was not guilty. An innocent person  would immediately jump in with no pause time ans say YES, I AM,  using a very formidable  and unwavering tone.

Costas then says it again and Sandusky pasues for five seconds and chuckles a nervous laugh and  immediately releases a burst of air. Needless to say this question has taken literally taken the wind or the air out of him as you literally hear it in the audio.

Then Sandusky says in a weak tone, I don’t know what you want me to say WHAT????? Want you to say????  This is a signal of guilt. He is now depending on what others want him to say and does not relay what he needs to say. In essence he    nothing  to say except that he is guilty.

You can believe that his attorney is helping him to spin what to say. Also why is this man doing interviews if he has an attorney? Is he defying his attorney? Is he defying his attorney? What kind of attorney wiuld allow his client to speak out at this point?

Sandusky’s voice quality and speech behaviors alone are incriminating him in my view.

Then he says  I don’t think theses have been the best days of my life as he burst out air . This air  burst indicates that he is having a hard time coordinating his breathing with his talking which is a HUGE indicator of nervousness and deception. His statement also minimizes the serious of what is happening to him which indicates that he is in the initial shock phases and in a state of denial.

Costas then asks him a great question. Costas asks  how would you define the part you played?  What are you willing to concede  that was wrong and   and you wish you hadn’t done it?

Sandusky once again takes a gulp of audible air indicating that this question has once agin knocked the wind out fo him. He then practically wispers and mumbles his answer , which is an  indicator guilt and shame . He says   I  I  should have   (long pause) showered with those kids. The telling part here vocally speaking is that he goes up at the end of the sentence on the words  kids  as though he was asking a question.  The empahasis on the world kids means  that deep down he really didn’t think it was wrong to shower with those kids.    It’s only wong because he got busted.Also the hesitation is a signal of extreme distress.

Then he mumbles a guilty sounding you know so . In essence , he is trying to minimize his actions and seeking reassurance with the words you know . He ends his statement on the word so because he has nothing else to say .

 Here is the give away “tell” or signal  that says it all.  Costas asks him if he is a pedophile. Sandusky  immediately replies  No! Then Costs rephrases the question ands says Are you sexually attracted to young boys?  Just so you are aware, this is how sociopaths often respond to questions. You may ask them a direct question and get a completely different answer than when you rephrase the question.  Sandusky also  parrots the question and repeats Am I sexually attracted to young boys?

When someone answers a question with a question or repeats your question, they are  usually GUILTY!!! That is one of the biggest tells of deception.

Then Sandusky further inceiminates himself verbally by  contimuing on and saying  sexually attracted.  I I enjoy young people.’

 His repetion of the words sexually attracted thrown out there  without a pronoun or a verb speaks volumes, Singling these two words out as a phrase in itself ndicates that  he very well may be  sexually attracted to them.

Then he says I I love to be around them . But no I’m not sexually attracted to young boys. He dies off at the end of his statement which is very significant in my view. As he in essence is swallowing his words and swallowing the truth. Note how he calls young boys them . It illustrates how he has objectified his victims.

Jerry Sandusky shows us that no matter who a person is or what their position is, it in possible to find pedophiles in any walk of life  and in any socioeconomic group or social strata. Even pillars of society who do charity work can be sexual deviants. We need to stop playing The Emperor Has New Clothes when he in fact is not wearing any. We need to see what is,  not what we want to see. As soon as we see this behavior we need to make sure the person is held accountable for their actions.

There is no question in my mind that he is acting like a person who has a lot of guilt , shame, and embarrassment  at being exposed and who most likely is guilty.

After reading the Grand Jury transcript I felt like throwing up. This is an extremely deviant and sick man.  True they are just allegations and he has not yet been found guilty by a court of law at this time. But in reading these allegations , it appears that they all have a pattern to them that is both shocking and sickening. He is either wrestling, showering,  or cracking some young boy’s back. Like most predators he has followed a similar ritual in abusing  his victims.

There is no rehabilitation for a pedophile because they are imprinted with this sexual perversion forever.He needs to be locked up forever with no possibility of parole. He has essentially  murdered the souls and the psyches of these young boys, many who have now grown  into  young  men.

All the millions of dollars he has earned during his coaching years needs to go for psychological treatment for these boys because after he got his hands on them, they were never the same. What makes matters even worse is that he took full advantage of young boys who were troubled and/or disadvantaged. That makes his crime even more egregious.

I say lock him up and throw away the key and make him do some hard labor in prison instead of  his sitting around doing nothing on the taxpayers money. I say get as much use out of him, whether it be  making license plates or some other item that is made in prisons.

He needs to be released into the general population so he can see what it feels like to be helpless and victimized. No doubt  if this is the case, he will not  survive long which may actually  be a blessing to all.

Casey Tries To Stifle Smiles Upon Entering Courtoom On Day 32 But Leaks It Out Anyway

There is no doubt  that Jose Baez told Casey to stop her smiles and smirks when she walks into the courtroom. So on Day 32 she her best to stifle all of her happy facial gestures. She even had a frown on her lips, yet her eyes were no frowning. This indicates that it was contrived.

Here we see Casey doing her very best to suppress a smile,.She is consciously pursing her lips as she moves about the table.

She  then spots someone  someone (perhaps Baez or Cheney)and stare in their direction.

She then raises her eyebrows and gives them a flash of recognition. You can see the tension in her lower jaw protrusion which indicates she is trying hard not to smile.

She looks away and continues to try and  stifle a smile.

But she cannot contain herself   as she still manages a smirk.

She quickly turns her head to look away and looks down  but her eyebrows are still raised in recognition of whom she saw. She tries to stifle a smile as she is trying to obey what she most likely has been told to do.

Jose and his team know that now that the defense is up to bat, it is essential for Casey to act as though she is serious and not be all smiles and lighthearted or flirty.

Bachelor Jake Pavelka’s Violent Body Language, Smugness, Emotional Abuse, and Lack of Empathy Towards Vienna on Bachelor Reunion Showed A Toxic Man


In the last season of The Bachelor, Vienna Girardi was clearly the villain while Jake was seen as the good guy.

But after watching the Bachelor Reunion with Jake and Vienna, the roles have completely reversed. My new book, which will be released this coming November called  Toxic Men, Identify, Deal With and Heal From Men Who Make Your Life Miserable describes men like Jake Pavelka to a tee.


Before it got to the point where Vienna was upset in tears as seen in the photo above, there was a lot of back and forth and accusations between the two of them. They both accused the other of lying. He called her a liar who went behind her back to the tabloids. She said that she had no choice because she knew him. He told her that he didn’t know him. But when she  called him a” fame whore”. He actually laughed . He had nothing to say because it may have rung true to him.

Then he accused her of  cheating and being  with a “boy”. He didn’t say she was with  a “man” but instead called him a “boy”. This spoke volumes about Jake’s insecurity. Even when Vienna told Jake that the “boy” was a gay friend of hers, he ignored what she said.  

He  had his mind made up and that was that. Nothing Vienna said could change anything.


 Jake showed that he was  arrogant, smug, cut off  from communication, unsympathetic, completely into himself. He clearly showed behavior of a control freak who demanded that he be listened to!

When Vienna tried to apologize to him, he could care less. He was detached and arrogant. He then told her in the most gruff and harsh tone to “BE QUIET!

 How dare him speak to anyone like that! One wouldn’t even speak to an animal in that tone of voice. It was highly abusive and very disturbing to watch.



When Jake told her to “BE QUIET” his body language was abusive as well,  in that he presented his back hand to her.

 This is a very hostile gesture and can often be a precursor towards physical violence. When a person shows you the back of their hand during an argument, if they are angry enough at you and out of control enough, they could literally “back hand you”.

Jake also kept shaking his foot indicating that he wanted to get out of there. His body language was saying that wanted to leave and be far  away from Vienna.


If the backhanded violent gesture wasn’t enough, Jake then did something very shocking. It actually repulsed me to the point that I lost complete respect for him.

If  Jake  could be this  violent body language wise when telling her to stop interrupting him on national television, what could he do to her when the cameras were off of  them and they were in the privacy of their home?  

Jack  did a  mock karate chop on his thigh when he yelled at her to stop interrupting him. This is a HUGE red flag in my view. Gestures like that can and have  often lead to  physical violence. When someone punches a wall or punches their fist, or karate chops their thigh to get a point across it may be a dangerous signal and something to watch for 


Jake  told Vienna not only that he was  angry  bit that that she disgusted him. Telling someone you are angry at them for something they did is one thing.

 But telling them they disgust you is another. When you are angry there is hope that you can repair a relationship.

But when a person says  you disgust them, there is no hope for any repair. It is over. It means that you  have lost complete respect for the person.

You have taken away their dignity by making  a statement like that. and there is no going back. 


 Vienna was so devastated by the Karate chop, the yelling at her, and the verbal abuse that she retreated into a fetal position while sitting.

She  literally curled up into a ball with her head on her lap as she sobbed.

What was even more disturbing to see what Jake had done to her through his emotional abuse wa to see that Jake didn’t  even bat an eye. He could care less. He showed absolutely  no humanity.

Instead, he was focused on himself.  He leaned away  from her and tried to explain himself via  anger,  with his fist-like hand clasped to his shaking foot. He showed no compassion towards her  whatsoever.

The selfishness and lack of compassion on Jake;s part can never be forgotten. It reflected who he truly  is as a human being.



Vienna finally got the inner strength to get up and leave the set. That took a lot of guts on her part. As a seasoned professional in the media, the biggest sin one can ever commit is to walk off a set. But in Vienna’s situation, what she did showed strength. She was not going to take Jake’s abuse any longer.  But before she left the stage, she told Jake the truth about himself that he was the meanest person she ever met.

 Once again Jake didn’t bat an eye. He didn’t even look at her. He was more concerned with himself. He had no concern with her emotional state. He didn’t even go after her when she walked off the stage. He didn’t even try to comfort her. That was a huge turn off to viewers.

After watching Jake in action, I cannot imagine him having an acting career except for roles that may call for a TOXIC MAN like the one he exhibited on the reunion show.