Elections A Sad Time for Personal Relationships

 

Screen Shot 2016-03-12 at 12.25.43 PM

Elections are a sad time for relationships and friendships. It is a time where people  often show their narrow mindedness as they are willing to pull the trigger and  end lifetime relationships ,  just because they can’t simply can’t “agree to disagree.” Marriages have suffered and schisms between family members have  deepened -all because of how people feel about one candidate or another. Sometimes their discovering  differences in your political belief may be the catalyst  they needed to lash out at you as they  may never  have  really liked you. Or worse, they may have always  been jealous or envious of you and now this is their  opportunity to  express their jealousy by speaking ill to you and to letting you have it.

When I look at the comments  on Facebook telling friends to unfriend them if they vote for a certain candidate , it is extremely  disturbing. People who have had lifelong friendships and relationships have now ended all communication  because they don’t see eye to eye in terms of which candidate they support. For many, it is their attempt to associate with those who are like-minded to and reject anyone who thinks other than their way.It is a shame because there is much more to a relationship and a friendship than your political beliefs.

As a human behavior and body language expert, I NEVER put my personal views out in public as I  MUST remain neutral at all times. I have done this since the 1980’s when I was first asked to give my feedback on various candidate’s body language in terms of how they performed during various debates.

But no matter how many times I state upfront that I am not a political person or  that I am not supporting any candidate when I provide my insight, there are still a few ignorant individuals who insist that I am supporting one candidate over another.

This happened to me during the  last election where Obama was debating Romney. As we can all recall, Obama’s performance during his initial debate was less than stellar, as he later admitted. As a result, I  expressed in the media in the Associate Press , how poorly he had performed. While most agreed with me, there were some Obama supporters who couldn’t see past their nose when it came to Obama. They appeared to play the “Emperor has new clothes” game  when in fact he was “naked” as they refused to see Obama’s poor performance at the time – something that Obama himself acknowledged.

While there are always haters out there, two of my  haters were people with whom I had gone to high school. One of the haters , whom I never even  knew went to my high school, was in my third-grade class. I hadn’t  thought about her in decades and was even unaware that she had friended me. All I remember was that in grade school, she was a frizzy dark haired girl who used to oddly hold her mouth open whenever she drew pictures.

The other hater was someone whom I had nothing to do with in high school. Since I never associated with her in high school or paid her any mind, from  what I learned from several who apparently knew her back in the day,  she  apparently was not very bright and was  a  “mean girl.”  This “mean girl clearly grew up to be a “mean woman.”

The frizzy- haired  first hater  whom I hadn’t  thought of since third grade, unloaded a barrage of hate  towards me in defense of Barack Obama.  Even though I tried to quell her hate by assuring her that I was merely reporting as a body language expert and not someone who had a political agenda, she  continued to ignore this, unleashing even more hateful remarks. My Facebook friends and fans took offense at what this hater was doing and let her know in no uncertain terms that she couldn’t communicate to me in the way she was communicating and tried to drum it into her that I was not saying anything political, but  merely reporting what I observed during he debates. But this didn’t seem to phase this hater, who continued her tirade until I unfriended her and blocked her.

The second hater ( whom I met and chatted with during a  class reunion) was a friend to the first hater. She let me know that she didn’t appreciate how I  and my fan base reacted to  her friend- the first hater. She then proceeded to let me  have it. She actually went off on me as she defended Obama and chastised me for my observations in the press.

Then she suddenly emerged from the  alleged “mean girl” into  a  “mean woman”  by personally attacking me by telling me I was nothing more than a “talking head” on TV and how some of her other high school friends (including a former cheerleader )felt the same way. As she said this to me, I had to laugh  for two reasons. One was that she was acting just like an immature high schooler and secondly, as others reported to me that she wasn’t that bright back in the day,  she still was seemingly not that bright as an adult. In her attempt to insult me by calling me a “talking head” anyone who speaks in front of the camera and gives commentary as I do is a “talking head“. Unbeknownst to her, the term  is not a pejorative adjective as this hater intended it to be. Instead, it is a noun –  what someone is and does. Needless to say,  I defriended and blocked this hater as well.

Sometimes, the fact that you have a political opinion that is different than someone else’s opinion, is just the opening they need to unleash their true inner feelings towards you. While their verbal volcano may explode  under the guise of a difference in politics,  but the truth of the matter is that it is often something deeper with them as they take  the opportunity to let you have it. Perhaps they did not  like you all along or were jealous of you  and your achievements or where you are in your life as opposed to theirs. So this is their opportunity to let you have it, just like the “mean woman” did to me.

So if you find people unleashing on you just because you support one candidate over another know that there is often something a lot deeper going on  with them like jealousy inner hate, or their lack of self-worth. Mature people who have a solid and positive sense of self and know who they are  can”agree to disagree.”  They don’t have to hate on you just because your politics differ. While they don’t have to accept your candidate they can accept you as a person and as a friend. As the saying goes,  they don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”

 

Body Language of Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall Show Mutual Love and Give Others Hope For Finding It At Any Age

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 9.49.52 AM

Media mogul Rupert Murdoch found  true love at 84 with former supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger, 60-year-old Jerry Hall. They both met their match as you can see in the body language in their photos. Above you see Ruppert kissing her as she nuzzles into him with a genuine smile.

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 9.47.10 AM

In this photo above, you continue to see Jerry’s genuine smile and Rupert’s genuine smile. We have never seen him this happy in almost any previous  photo His being expressive makes it clear that it is the real thing between these two.

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 9.49.05 AM

While many critics might dismiss this marriage as Jerry’s being a gold digger, this is clearly not the case. She and Mick, who had had three children together , were married for more than 30 years before their relationship ended  in 1999. It has been reported that Mick’s  divorce from Jerry could have cost him over $1.2billion dollars.So clearly marrying for money does not appear to be her motivation.

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 9.48.07 AM Rupert is so thrilled with his new bride and his new life that he tweeted the above tweet about how he feels like the luckiest man in the world. His tweet clearly shows that love trumps money  and even if you have a lot of money, if you don’t have love, you are not that rich after all. Now he is truly one of the richest men in the world- rich in money and rich in love.

Their marriage inspires us that  we can find love  at any age. Women don’t have to  be perfect- have the perfect teeth, have the tight and skinny body,  or have a face devoid of wrinkles. Jerry Hall at 60 shows us that a woman can wear her age and still be loved and adored.

Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 9.46.49 AM

All too many people give up in searching for the person of their dreams after a certain age. They think there is no hope for them. Well,  Jerry and Rupert are an inspiration to everyone, especially those approaching and who are in their senior years.  This couple clearly shows that there is indeed hope.

More than ever those over 40 are discovering that there is a second , or third , or even a fourth chance for  finding love. So the moral of this story  is- Never give up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Lillian Glass Always Maintains Her Integrity When It Comes to Body Language Analysis

Screen Shot 2016-03-03 at 11.21.14 AM

Today I just got a call from a  magazine journalist asking me what I thought about some celebrity photos. These particular batch of  photos were of Blake Shelton and some  dark haired woman. They wanted to know if  Blake was cheating on his latest love Gwen Stefani and if there was anything going on between him and this woman in the photo.

As I looked at the photos it was clear  to me that there was nothing going on  with Blake and this dark haired woman, except  for a warm friendship between the two . I determined that based on their mutual facial expressions, the distance they appeared towards one another and their arm and body position.

So when the journalist called me back to discuss my findings  on several of these photos, I told the truth. I informed the journalist that  because Blake’s arm was over the woman’s shoulder and there was so much distance between them in the photos and based on their facial expressions, there appeared to be nothing more than just warm friendship between the two.

Apparently my evaluation was not enough for  the reporter. She wanted more,  so she pressed and pressed me with more and more questions like” Don’t you think the average person who is not a body language expert would think there was something going on between these two?” I answered , ‘No, not at all.Everyone can see  from these photos that they seem like good friends and that there are no signs they are romantic with one another.” That was not the answer she wanted to hear as she  continued to rephrase her question to get some tiny snippet from me that something could possibly be going on so she could spin it  the way she wanted for her magazine.

Knowing exactly what she was doing, I called her out on it. I said, “I know exactly what you are trying to do. You need a sensational story to entice your audience, but I can’t participate in that.

She then ignored what I had to say and tried another way to ask the question. finally told her that I always keep my integrity when I do my body language analysis so there was no way I could help her spin the story the way she wanted it. I also told her that I thought it was unfair to do this to Blake and try and conjure something up. She then said that she appreciated my honesty.

As hung up the phone, I was really disturbed by this.  Just days earlier at the Grammy’s Blake was seen with his love Gwen Stefani where it was obvious based on his body language that he and Gwen were intimately involved with one another . As you can see they seemed happy and in love and involved as Gwen sits between Blake’s legs as they held on to one another with glowing genuine smiles.

Screen Shot 2016-03-03 at 11.21.14 AM.png

Know that I will never allow myself to be manipulated for any story just so a journalist could spin it a certain way. This is not  the first time this has happened to me and I am sure it won’t be the last.

A few years ago,  I had a regular monthly column for Cosmopolitan Magazine where I did body language analyzes of celebrities and discussed what was really going on between the lines. All too often, whenever I would pitch a story for a new issue, I was met with the news that I had to tone something down  becuase the magazine couldn’t run  my story because the celebrity might get upset or that they would be appearing on the cover and the magazine  wouldn’t want to ruin their relationship with that particular celebrity , who may in turn. cancel out on appearing on the cover. That was surprising and very disappointing news for me to hear. As a journalist, I was trained to report in what ” IS” not what you “WANT the story to be.”

Today I was asked to comment on another story for a popular online publication who also shares my view of keeping it real and not spinning things. So I  openly gave them my observations  on a  celebrity couple’s body language. In the past whenever they asked me for a body language analysis, if I found nothing of significance, they would eliminate the potential the story and not try to manufacture it. This is something I both appreciate and respect.

I will never compromise my integrity and professional reputation for any price in the world. Nothing means more to me than telling the truth and presenting things as they are.Whenever I lend my name to a body language analysis, rest assured that it has been given careful thought and complete scrutiny.

 

 

 

 

 

Body Language Better Predictor than Algorithms to Determine Breakups

Apparently there is a mathematical formula which will tell you the likelihood of whether couples will stay together or  breakup. The reality is that you don’t need an app, online  site or mathematical formula to tell  the future of your relationship.

Instead, you can tell what will happen  in your future just by paying close attention to the way you and your partner communicate and the status of your body language when you are together.

Your relationship is doomed if  someone:

  1. doesn’ t speak to you with respect or politeness
  2.  constantly puts you down
  3. is contentious and contradicts what you say
  4. says mean things followed by I was only kidding
  5.  doesn’t support you in your goals
  6. belittles your opinions and belief system
  7. doesn’t engage in a mutual back and forth conversation
  8. self absorbed communication focusing on themselves and not you
  9. leans away from you
  10. doesn’t give you physical contact
  11. shys away from physical and verbal affection
  12. doesn’t use terms of endearment when they speak to you
  13. toes  do not point in your direction when they speak to you
  14. not looking at you when they speak to you
  15. there is a lot of physical space between you
  16. one walks in back of the other
  17. raises their voice to you
  18. speaks in a monotone
  19. uses vulgarities towards you
  20. doesn’t provide physical comfort when you need it

So if you keep your eyes and ears open and trust your instincts,  you will always know the status of your relationship at any given time.

 

 

 

Bullied Columbine Killers and Resulting Consequences

 

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 3.02.42 AM

There has been an uproar about Columbine Killer Dylan Kiebold’s mother Sue Kliebold going on a  book tour  to discuss her son and the 17 years of guilt she experienced since Columbine.  Many of the survivors  feel that she has no right to make money and profit from their misery. After observing Mrs. Kliebold’s interview with Diane Sawyer , it is clear Sue Kliebold is still in denial as she says she didn’t see any warning signs. Previously she even said  that she and her husband don’t understand why their son took part in the massacre.

If she  paid closer attention to what was happening to him at school she would have understood why her son took part in the massacre.  Had  she engaged in some heart to heart talks with Dylan or analyzed her son’s writings, she would have discovered  why he was so hateful. She would have known about the relentless bullying her son  endured that led him down the dismal  path of revenge and murder.

Dylan suffered from mental illness.  In fact his mother is donating the profits from the book to  mental illness facilities.

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 2.49.57 AM

Mental health concerns are all the more reason why bullying needs to be stopped in our schools once and for all. Those who are fragile and who  have mental illnesses can easily break down mentally and lash out, just  as Dylan and his friend  Ed Harris lashed out. Apparently Ed Harris , whom you see on the right in the above photo, suffered from extensive mental illness and was on the prescription medication luvox for his problem.

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 2.49.35 AM

Sue Kliebold’s son Dylan  was bullied so severely that he unfortunately took matters in his own hands. After being bullied to a pulp for years, having bottles hurled at him by students driving by in their cars  as reported by Dylan and witnessed by fellow students, and having his  complaints to teachers falling on deaf ears, Dylan  finally had enough.

Normally, when we think of the results of those who have been bullied, we think of  someone who goes inward and suffers in silence. They turn their hate  inward towards those who bullied them. That is why we hear about the countless suicides and other self destructive behaviors by those who have been deemed social outcasts by their peers.

But sometimes that hate, as a  result  of what bullies said and did to them, may be turned outward. This  was the case in  the Columbine killers  and with other mass killers on school campuses. All of these killers  had one thing in common. They were all  bullied. They all expressed that they had enough and  unleashed their hatred back to those who bullied them. Sadly, there were innocent bystanders who did not bully, who also suffered the killer’s  wrath.

When Dylan and his friend  Ed committed their acts of violence, they felt  joy- no pain and no remorse. In fact  it was reported that  Dylan  felt justified when he scratched some hateful words on another student’s  locker in school.  It was his act of revenge. In his diary he wrote  that he would ” Feel no remorse, no sense of shame” for any acts of violence he would commit.

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 2.50.16 AM

As further proof of his hatred towards his self entitled bullies, Dylan also wrote the following in his diary:  ” I mow down a whole [expletive] area full of you snotty ass rich mother [expletive] high strung godlike attitude having worthless pieces of [expletive] whores.”.

He goes on to say “YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE, When there is a group of [expletive] standing in the middle of a hallway or walkway, and they are just STANDING there talking and blocking my [expletive] way!!!! Get the [expletive] outta the way….Dead people can’t do many things, like argue, whine b*tch, complain, narc, rat out, criticize, or even [expletive] talk.”

His diary also  included disturbing imagery of inflicting pain on others as he wrote ” I felt like getting a baseball bat, breaking it over his head, and then STABBING him with the broken end!!!!” His revengeful entry  most likely reflected the inner pain he had experienced as a result of those inflicting emotional pain upon him.

While what he and his friend Ed Harris  did was horrific, we cannot deny that his actions and raw hate were the consequence  of  being so bullied and tormented  that they finally decided they were not   going to take it anymore. They fought back in the most brutal and severest of ways. Their mental state and lack of mental health , unfortunately resulted in thirteen people ending up dead and countless others suffering from  physical and emotional scars they will have to endure for the rest of their life.

Dylan Kliebold and Ed Harris’  pain emotional scars left them emotionally detached- emotionally dead. Just as those who are bullied who end up emotionally  dead  and  turn their pain inward and commit suicide, these  two young men were also emotionally dead. They that  didn’t care about the consequences of their actions. They were prepared to kill and be killed as they turned their emotional pain outward.

What happened in Columbine clearly shows us that there is another side of bullying. The  consequences  of  that bullying are  extremely severe as we saw. That is why ALL schools MUST have a ZERO Tolerance when it comes to bullies and being bullied.

Whether the bullying takes place on a school grounds or over the internet there must be  serious and severe  legal consequences  in place  for anyone who bullies another student.

 

Martin Shkreli’s Arrogant Body Language Will Do Him In During His Trial

Screen Shot 2016-02-04 at 10.17.52 PM

As a litigation consultant who helps people prepare for court cases so they can best present themselves in front of a jury, as  as well as being  someone who helps select I can assure you that after seeing  the body language and how pharmaceutical executive Martin Shkreli, the man  who gouged prices drugs, acted in front of Congress, he will never succeed in front of a jury.

While he had every right to invoke his Fifth Amendment rights, his arrogant body language spoke volumes about him. It left a lot to be desired .

Screen Shot 2016-02-04 at 10.20.08 PM

His crossed arms indicated defiance as did his smug facial expression. He repeatedly read from a piece of paper which stated  that he was invoking his Fifth Amendment rights to not incriminate himself  and therefore refused to answer any question that was posed to him..

Screen Shot 2016-02-04 at 8.46.06 PM

His inappropriate smiles and his looking around the room instead of facing ahead and respectfully acknowledging those who were speaking, will raise ire among jurors if he exhibits those behaviors in a court of law.

Martin Shkreli  is the one who  hiked the price of a life-saving drug from $13.50 to $750 and showed no sympathy or compassion when asked how it would affect others who needed the drug but who could not afford it. The drug at the center of  the questioning is  Daraprim, used to treat toxoplasmosis, a parasitic disease that affects those with weakened immune systems.

Even though he is 32 years old, he acted like an immature 1o year old as he  continued to smirk and grin as he refused to answer any question, with the exception of his name. But he managed a disrespectful tweet right after leaving the hearing, tweeting “Hard to accept that these imbeciles represent the people in our government.

Shkreli is accused of  repeatedly losing money for investors and lying to them and illegally taking assets from one of his companies to pay off debtors in another, running his company like a Ponzi scheme where he used each subsequent company to pay off defrauded investors from the prior company, according to  Brooklyn U.S. Attorney Robert Capers.

When he does go to court, if she shows this arrogant and immature behavior, there will be no mercy or sympathy towards him from either a judge or a jury. He may end up with the same fate as another  infamous Ponzi Schemer, Bernard Madoff, who is  now serving 150 years in prison. Then Mr. Shkreli will find out who is the real “imbecile.”

 

 

 

Dr. Lillian Glass Never Said Obama Was a Psychopath- Meme Got It Wrong

“Crocodile Jeers”

“Body language expert Lillian Glass said a popular meme misconstrued one of her quotes and made assertions that aren’t credible or ethical.

CLAIM: According to a body language expert, a photograph of President Obama crying reveals he is a psychopath.

FALSE

EXAMPLE: [Collected via Facebook, January 2015]

The origin of the claim contained in this graphic seems to come from a 2013 book by Lillian Glass titled, “The Body Language of Liars.” Yet, as we all know, this isn’t an exact science in any way. Furthermore, the author, though seemingly educated in this field, seems to have a found a niche in which to capitalize on people’s fears. A title of another of her books is, “Guide to Identifying Terrorists Through Body Language.” Another is “The Body Language Advantage: Maximize Your Personal and Professional Relationships with this Ultimate Photo Guide to Deciphering What Others Are Secretly Saying,in Any Situation.”
Nevertheless, opponents of the President are using something she wrote to some degree of success.
Thoughts?

obama lillian glass example

ORIGIN:On 5 January 2016, President Obama proposed several measures to curb gun violence while delivering remarks on the topic in the East Room of the White House. As he discussed gun deaths involving children, the President began crying (as seen at the 0:44 mark in the video embedded below):

The following day, a meme about President Obama’s show of emotion began circulating online, holding that according to body language expert Lillian Glass, the Commander-in-Chief’s tears bore hallmarks of psychopathy (and implied that the body language he demonstrated was evidence he is himself a psychopath):

Some versions of the meme attributed its claims to Dr. Lillian Glass:

In her 2013 book “The Body Language of Liars,” behavioral analyst Lillian Glass wrote that psychopaths are really bad at crying:

“When psychopaths cry, they will often wipe underneath each eye, one at a time. When people cry genuine tears they cry with both eyes, and so they will tend to wipe both eyes at once.”

A brief online search indicated that the quote cited above was lifted directly from a 6 November 2013 Business Insider article titled “7 Signs You’re Working with a Psychopath.” The article predictably described an entirely different context:

They are really bad at crying.

“When [Susan Smith] gave a press conference and cried about her missing children, her fake tears were actually what raised suspicions that she was the killer,” says Glass.

When psychopaths cry, Glass says they will often wipe underneath each eye, one at a time. “When people cry genuine tears they cry with both eyes, and so they will tend to wipe both eyes at once.”

In their original context, Dr. Glass’ observations clearly pertained to video footage (not a still image). Dr. Glass’ web site includes a blog wherein her observations consistently describe analysis of subjects in context and motion (utilizing photographs to illustrate the body language she described in a broader context throughout). Nowhere in her writings did we locate an example of her making such a definitive diagnosis based upon a single still image, nor of her throwing around severe diagnostic language such as “psychopath.”

We contacted Dr. Glass regarding the meme and the use of language from her 2013 book The Body Language of Liars. Dr. Glass told us she was aware of the quote’s newfound popularity and was deeply dismayed by the lengths to which her words and work had been misconstrued due to the meme (and related articles).

Dr. Glass strongly repudiated the assertions of the meme, noting that the quote originally appeared in her 2013 book and was used for the Business Insider piece in a very different context. Moreover, she stated that she would never engage in body language analysis so flippantly, nor did she consider the subject matter of the meme appropriate for such observations. Mostly, Dr. Glass was dismayed at the virality of a grossly misconstrued, unrelated, out-of-context quote from her book in a meme that misrepresented her work.

According to Dr. Glass, the thrust of the meme is unequivocally false. Whether folks believe President Obama’s tears at the 5 January 2016 appearance were legitimate or not, the meme based on that moment in no way represents the analytical work of the body language expert to whom it is attributed.

LAST UPDATED: 07 January 2016

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: 07 January 2016

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 412 other followers