Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Jodi Arias Allowed to Live As Travis Alexander’s Death Teaches Us About Trusting Our Instincts When We Realize Someone Is Toxic
March 6, 2015

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The verdict is out and  Jodi Arias will not die by lethal injection, nor by any other means, after slaughtering her ex boyfriend Travis Alexander. Even though 11 of the 12 jurors felt that death would be the right punishment for her, there was one lone juror who refused to commit to having Jodi put to death.

As someone who does jury selection and trial consulting for a living, you can never ultimately predict  what will happen in a real trial. Even if you ask jurors who are serving on a death penalty case if they could in fact choose death as one of their choices and they answer “yes”, when push comes to shove and they have to make the decision as to whether someone lives or dies, many cannot choose death after all..

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When the judge told the jury that they had to decide on an outcome after four days of deliberation, I knew that Jodi would most likely  not be put to death. Now she has to await the judges decision, which will occur in April,  as to whether she will spend life behind bars without parole or life with parole after two and a half decades when she will be in her mid fifties as you can see by this art rendering of her aging.

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Whether or not she gets life or life without parole, there will be times at the harsh Perryville Prison  where Jodi will be baking in the scorching Arizona sun, in an open air cage, that she may very well have wished she received the death penalty when the other prisoners make her life a living hell.

The bottom line is that Jodi will be living under harsh conditions where she may spend most of her time in isolation in order to protect her from other prisoners  because she is such a high profile case. This could be the worst torture of all for Jodi Arias who thrives on attention and manipulation of others. If there is no one to manipulate or to give Jodi, her attention fix, life for her may not be worth living.

In any event, one does not have to be killed to receive just punishment as Jodi will soon discover in her new home.

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One of the most anguishing sites at the trial was seeing Travis’ sister, who loved her brother so much, break down and cry in such pain. She was inconsolable, while  Jodi  was at the other end of the courtroom showing no compassion and no emotion as you can see below. Perhaps she was in shock. Perhaps she had expected to receive the death penalty.

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One of the things that jurors said after the trial was that  throughout the trial, Jodi showed no remorse for what she did to Travis. This was not surprising to me. The bottom line is that Jodi actually believed that she was was a woman scorned. In  her warped thinking,  she no doubt felt that Travis got what he deserved. That is why she showed no remorse and no genuine emotion. She did not feel sorry for what she did to him. She felt that he abused her and used her and he had what was coming to him.

While almost all of the jurors felt the opposite, there was one juror who obviously thought along the lines as Jodi. She too, felt that Travis abused her and used her.

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While so many people remarked that Travis was a wonderful guy, truth be told, he was full of contradictions. He wanted to follow his faith and not engage in sex before marriage, yet he continued to engag in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi she was not the woman for him and wanted to find a pure Mormon wife, yet he continued to engage in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi to leave him alone and not stalk him, but yet continued to allow her into his life and into his bed. He allowed her to clean his home. He allowed her into his life, instead of calling the police and getting a restraining order against her and being vigilant about her ever being in his presence.

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When Travis first met Jodi he was taken with her. he thought she was beautiful, glamorous and super sweet. But her sickeningly sweet tones belied her. They reflected a great deal of psychopathology. As Travis got to know Jodi, he realized there was something very wrong with this woman. Yet, he continued to take her to bed and have sex with her. He continued to travel with her.

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He  eerily voiced his concern about Jodi being a serial killer to many of his friends. Even his friends picked up on the fact that there was something off about Jodi as they asked in disbelief, if she was always that “sweet”. It was that sickening sweetness that didn’t ring true to either Travis or his friends.

But being the nice guy that he was and wanting adventure as well as ” having his cake and eating it too”, he ignored his instincts. He ignored what he saw and what he heard out of Jodi’s mouth. He ignored her tones and her actions.He ignored his own gut level reactions that he shared with friends, and unfortunately,  he ignored the action he need to take. That action was to stay completely away from Jodi and never allow her  back into his life under any circumstances. He needed to cut off the phone calls and the visits for good.

His lack of listening to  and trusting his initial instincts about Jodi and acting upon them,  tragically  cost him his life. I am in no way blaming the victim – blaming Travis. Instead, I am pointing out how his death can serve as an example to all of us and to our children. If we see and hear and feel something is not right about another person, we must cut it off asap and never look back.

When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, when you feel queasy or nauseated around the person, when you have a tinge of fear around them- run as fast as your feet will carry you and never look back.

And remember to never trust anyone with a high pitched baby girl sickeningly sweet breathy, monotone,  voice quality devoid of demotion. This voice often reflects a passive aggressive personality. Their voice indicates that they are hiding something and not revealing their true selves.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. There is alway a  “cause” and and an “effect”. The “cause” of Travis engaging in sex with Jodi and then taking a shower to get ready to take another woman out of town created the “effect” of  having a very disturbed woman  brutally murder him.  The cause of his not listening to and trusting and acting on his negative  instincts about  Jodi, created the tragic effect of him leaving the earth way too soon.

Travis did not die in vain. His death teaches us  that we all to pay close attention to that gut level feeling that tells us something is wrong with being around a specific person. If you are around someone where you even joke about them being a serial killer, get away from them as soon as possible. Your instincts are screaming that something is wrong.  Had Travis listened to his gut and trusted his instincts and never allowed Jodi  into his life again, he would probably be alive today.   May he rest in peace and may Jodi be held accountable  and deal with the effects that her actions caused for the rest of her natural life.

Netanyahu Passionate Powerful Body Language and Voice During Moving Speech Before Congress
March 3, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 8.50.57 AM  No matter what your political opinion is, no one can deny the passion and expression that came out of Benjamin Netanyahu when he spoke  in a vibrant and clear tone that  made things understandable to everyone. In delivering his message, he  made it  very clear  in terms of the consequences of  Iran and nuclear arms.

No one could have relayed the message in front of Congress better in his flawless American Accent than Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu. The message was loud and clear and highly emotional as he spoke with respect and appreciation in terms of how Obama  and America has helped Israel as he relayed the message of  message” peace  that we all desire”

Netanyau’s outstanding vocal cadance  moved people and got them to their feet as he spoke about not allowing “dark and murderous regimes” to succeed.

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Perhaps the most powerful and emotional message which brought everything home and gave things a concrete and realistic perspective was when Netanyahu introduced Elie Weissel,  Holocaust survivor and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. When Netanyahu said “is life and survival is what  inspires us to give meaning to the words NEVER AGAIN” there was an eruption of clapping as he urged leaders to not repeat the past.

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When Netanyahu said “The days are over when we remain passive in genocidal ” atrocities there was a  loud roar from the crowd as he said ”  We the Jewish people can defend ourself, even if it has to stand alone it will stand.”  He then said    human spirit  refuses to succum to histories  of horrors. He then said that Israel doesn’t have to stand alone as  America is standing with Israel,” which  resulted in loud applause and whops of agreement.

His quote of Moses in Hebrew was very moving as well. As she ended his speech he said ” Be strong and resolute never fear nor dread them  May be face futre with confidence faith and hope  May GOD BLESS ISRAEL AND THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.”

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 8.52.13 AMThis made the audience rise to their feet and continue clapping continuously for two minutes. Netanyahu’s body language and facial expression showed that he was visibly moved by the support as he raised his hand to wave it to the audience who rose to their feet.

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As he walked off the podium and walked through the chamber, he was met with handshakes, pats on the back as the crowd continued clapping for him as they reacted positively to the impact Netanyahu had.

In my view Netanyahu needed to address Congress.  America and the  world needed to hear what he had to say as it was essential for the peace process that he be heard. He was respectful and did not say anything negative against Obama. He relayed his message with passion and an urgency with regard to not repeating the past.

Body Language Shows All Is Not Forgiven with John Travolta and Irena Menzel
February 23, 2015

At last years Oscars John Travolta messed up big time as he misread the teleprompter calling Idina Menzel Adele Dazeem as he introduced her before she sang. Perhaps it indicated a problem with dyslexia he may have been hiding or perhaps it indicated that he didn’t prepare or rehearse enough. The press let him have it. So this year  to add some humor to the Oscar presentations Irina introduced John and her good friend Glom Gozingo as they were to present the award for best song.

But truth be told, Travolta was highly embarrassed by this and in order to compensate grabbed Idina Menzel’s chin which made her cringe, look down  and turn away from him .

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The chin grab was for him to regain control over the situation as he sang her praises. But she was having none of it body language wise.

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When he first came on stage he got too close for comfort to Idina whom you can see is pulling away from him. She is also not too thrilled about being with him as you can see the muscle tension in her body and her hand automatically balls up in a fist ike position indicating inner anger at the situation she has been placed in.

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As he grabbed her chin she tried to make light of it at first as she felt very uncomfortable and turned her body away from him. She decided to clap to make it seem that things were Ok but deep down they were not OK.

It seems like he grabbed and held on to her chin as a pre gesture of wanting to kiss her but she was having none of it. In essence his gesture backfired on him as he continued to hold on to her chin.

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Everyone noticed how awkward this was so now doubt his handlers quickly got him on Jimmy Kimmel Live in order to  diffuse the situation and to make a joke out of it. But in reality it was no joke. It was about a once very popular actor who made a huge embarrassing mistake by calling a fellow performer by a wrong name and then trying to rectify the situation by allowing his name to be called with a wrong name. But John Travolta was too embarrassed by this as well so he tried to take control over the situation and Irina and it backfired once again.

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He also appeared to be very touchy feely with other guests like Scarlett Johanssen as you can see. She did not welcome his kiss nor his hand on her abdomen which is a very intimate gesture.

All of this shows that John as an aging actor still wants to be relevant, but it  is not working.

Michelle Obama Body Language Shows She’s Disgusted By Saudis and Lack of Head Scarf Makes A Loud Statement
January 28, 2015

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Michelle Obama’s body language clearly shows that she is no fan of the Saudis. For one, she refused to wear a head scarf during the visit. This apparently upset Saudi’s and other Muslims throughout the world as was reported in the press. While one could think that she may have made a mistake or breached social protocol because she wasn’t aware of the customs this was clearly not the case.  .

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In 2010 when she visited Indonesia, she respectfully donned a head  scarf for her visit. So she clearly knows the rules and the drill in Muslim countries. But this time she decided that she didn’t want to show respect for the Saudi’s as she went bare headed.Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 7.26.39 PMWhile she may consider herself very special  on American soil where she gets a lot of attention,  on Saudi land hardly anyone  shook her hand or even spoke to her.  This clearly disturbed her as you can see from her soured look and her angrily grabbing on to her own wrist with a fist-like handf. This clealrly showed that Michelle was angry.

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 7.26.12 PMShe hated being in the  background  in this very patriarchal society and detested  not acknowledged. Here we see her looking at her husband getting all the attention while she is essentially ignored.

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Her angry faced expressions continued throughout the visit as she could not hide her contempt.

Screen Shot 2015-01-27 at 7.17.27 PMShe was clearly upset and angry as you can see by the protrusion of her lower jaw and her forcefully bracing herself by pressing her one hand over the other in front of her private area. What this pose says is that she is not only angry but feeling extremely vulnerable in this country where women don’t seem to matter – not even a visiting First Lady from the United States of America.

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Her angry and disgusted looks continued throughout the visit as you can see. On the one hand, as a Western woman who can blame Michelle for her feelings where women are not allowed to drive, have no independence and need the permission of a male relative (husband, grandfather, father,  uncle, brother, or son) to do anything. There is no such thing as women walking alone  on the street at their own free will. Women can only go to women doctors and study in classes where there are only women.Women have little or no value except to marry and have children. If their husband wants to take multiple wives, they have no say. They also cannot initiate a divorce and their husband. However their husband can get rid of them just by uttering that they are divorcing their wife. There is no such thing as alimony and if the husband is Toxic or heartless he can render her homeless and penniless.

But from the view of being First Lady and accompanying her husband on a good will trip to meet and greet and the new King Solomon, many believe Michelle did not act correctly. They believe that she should have donned a head scarf and should not have worn pants but a long dress instead. This visit was not about Michele, It was about trying to make friends with the new leader. Clearly, there was no winning friends or influencing anyone via Michelle’s actions. In fact many took this as a personal insult or slap in the face.

From my view I believe that one must respect the cultures of others when you are on their territory. I myself have even donned a head scarf when I have lectured in certain countries where the head scarf was expected to be worn by women. Even though I was a Westerner I thought it was more respectful if I wore one and it was very well received and much appreciated. It showed that I respected their culture.

Michelle’s body language can be translated  by many as reported in the  press as to her being defiant and arrogant. There was no question that she was angry and disgusted. There was also no question that her presence and actions were not very diplomatic.

No Surprise Bachelorette Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray Broke Up As Body Language Showed Relationship Problems Early On
January 9, 2015

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It is no surprise to me that Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray ended their romance as I detected problems months ago as Iexamined their body language.

Before the Final Rose, I did a blog predicting that Andi Dorfman would choose Josh Murray over all of the other contestants and it turned out to be the case. At the same time I predicted that if Andi wasn’t treated  like a priority and a star in the  relationship, there would be trouble . Based on their body language after looking at their twitter and instagram photos,, there seemed to be  trouble with their relationship which seemed to  begin right after the post Bachelorette interviews as you will see.

Josh Trying To Dominate A Strong Independent Bright Woman

It began in the above photo when they were both in NYC and Josh was continually seen walking in front of her and not by her side or having her out front. After all she was the star of the show and didn’t need to be dragged behind. It was disrespectful and screamed of Josh wanting to take control.

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During the interviews it was as though Josh acted as though he was the star of the  Bachelor  and not the other way around with Adni being the star He constantly  kept interrupting her and stepping on what she was trying to say. He constantly kept trying to dominate  the conversation and this did not go over well with Andi.

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Andi was so annoyed by this that she even reached out to touch him as a signal for him to be quiet and let her speak.  She tried several times to be out front in center but he would not let her.

There was also a  below video which literally made my skin crawl where Josh tried to take over. It was uncomfortable to watch as you can see. He tried to dominate . A competition  between a couple never works in a relationship as you can see in the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5kTgqthBU

                                                                            Nick Debacle 

Also Josh was visibly annoyed when interviewers would bring up Nick Vial outing Andy for sleeping with him when she was going to choose Josh. Josh was literally squirming in his seat  through a phony tense smile when this topic came up. In one interview you could see him smile as she reached for a glass of water and sipped it, indicating that his autonomic nervous system was working overtime. Deep down he most likely was distressed about this. Adding to his distress and to why he may be so distant, which may be the underlying reason for tension in their relationship  is the public’s commentary in slut shaming his fiance.

The whole Nick outing of Andi needed to be handed differently. Andi needed to have put an immediate stop to the fallout of Nick outing her for sleeping with him by saying on these interviews that a.she really didn’t know it was Josh until the last minute because she still had some concerns b. when she said during the proposal show that she always knew it was Josh all along. She needed to say she was caught up in the moment and excitement of the ring ceremony. She needed to explain that what she meant to say was that she was super attracted to Josh as he was her physical type the second she saw him. People would understand that.

Since Nick  gave Andi such a zing on TV  in hindsight , she could have done several things instead of saying it was private. She could have lied and said” what are you talking about, I never slept with you. How can you lie like that?” This woud have put Nick in his place. She also could have said that she thought he might be the one until that night when she found no sexual chemistry with him.That too would have put him in his place.

But Andi was understandably taken aback, so it was difficult to come back quickly.

As for Nick, there is no question that he is a Toxic and evil and revengeful man who literally  punished and destroyed Andi for not selecting him. He  helped  destroy the beginnings of a future with Josh. I say” helped” because Josh it seems can’t get past this and has detached as you will see in the photos below. Nick destroyed Andi’s reputation and career opportunities. Perhaps the reason DWTS didn’t choose her was because of all of the slut shaming and negative fallout and reaction to her  from what he revealed to millions of viewers.

This is a shame becuase DWTS could have added to Andi’s fan base and her career outside of law as a possible show host ( a legal show host specifically).

While Nick may have contributed to the possible destruction of Josh and Andi’s  relationship, there were other things in force since day one. Andii and Josh  may have been a physical match and looked cute together, but they were no mental match. Andi is super bright and after a while his inability to mentally stimulate her could grate on her nerves. Since he is such a competitive guy, no doubt there may have been competition with Andi to put her in her place and show he is the boss and to attempt to control her as he demonstated in several interviews. Andi does not need to take a backseat to anyone.

                                                                                         Josh’s Family 

The next major red flag concern was Josh’s family and his mother telling her in no uncertain terms that Josh was never going to cut the apron strings. No woman wants to hear that. Perhaps that is why we see Andi not looking so thrtilled in photos when she has to attend Aaron;s games.

My initial concern about the relationship took place when I saw the visit to Josh’s family, especially when Josh’s mother Lauren spoke of Josh never cutting the apron strings with her. Afterwards Andi’s facial expression said it all as it did when Josh’s father told her let her know that Arron and family football games were a priority. Even Andi expressed concerns that the family wasn’t as happy for Josh finding love as they were about Aaron’s football career.

The next huge red flag  issue which I saw during the family visit was that  the family didn’t see the specialness of Andi and in stead were more interested in their favorite son Aaron and his newly engaged mate. Andi seemed to be an afterthought to Josh’s mom. Josh is also a self described  mamma’s boy and that never works in a successful relationship


Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 5.52.59 AMAbove is Josh showing off and taking the limelight which I am sure Andi found annoying after a while. Andi is the star and Josh did not allow her to shine in my view.

Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.06.19 PM Andi has a tense smile around Josh which was not genuine. You could see that he made her uncomfortable after a while.

Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.01.06 PM Josh’s mother seemed more thrilled that Arron got engaged in my view. While she did put a photo of Josh and Andi up  on her page she didn’t seem as thrilled about it. Also you can see here how stiff and uncomfortable Andi looked around Josh. There was also too much distance between them as they both seemed t be repelled by one another. Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 9.02.06 PM Josh seemed to give the dog more attention and affection  than Andi. Amdi was a trouper and tried to embrace the dog. Once again there is too much distance and not enough affection between Josh and Andii.Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 6.22.18 AM Andi looks miserable with Josh and his sister. Look at her smile it is pained and not genuine as the apples of her cheeks are not raised and her eyes don’t squint in  a genuine smile. Also she needed to be standing next to Josh not the sister. Joshn’s hand in his pocket to me indicates he has something to hide-like his true negative feelings towards Andi.Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 6.18.04 AMHere we see too much distance between the couple and a very non genuine tight smile with Andi.
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Here we see no smiling eyes which indicates a lot of tension in the realtionship. Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 6.25.03 PM

And finally by the time Thanksgiving rolled around it was clearly over as you can see by Andi’s body language.Too much distance between Josh and Andi and a sour expression on Andi’s face, Her arm i over the chair and Andi looks stiff and uncomfortable  around Josh.

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This photo says it all with Andi all the way at the end while Josh hugs mama and sister . How can any woman compete with that?    It shows that Andi was not as importanta s Josh’s family.                                                              

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  Slut Shaming In Media

Because this wasn’t addressed  immediately, Andi  was slut shamed and called the most promiscuous bachelorette. Even one journalist actually called her a slut on Fox TV. Unfortunately I believe this had a very negative impact on her relationship with Josh because he appears to be to insecure to handle this and may feel it reflected poorly on him. And unfortunately it may also have a negative impact on her brand and her credibility and her career in the limelight .If she was a bimbo like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton it would not matter. But she is a formidable professional  woman and it does matter. I will adress what she needs to do to rectify the situation later on in this blog.

This must have had an impact on their relationship. But during the interviews I saw Josh trying to be in charge and become center stage. Truth is Andi is the star and he did not let her speak. He needed to take more of a backseat publicaly.

I also predicted that there would be problems in the relationship if Andi wasn’t treated as a priority. Andi has been a star all her life -in school and in her family and with her friends. For her to be in a relationship where she is not the star, but rather takes a backseat was no doubt in my view, torture for her. She needs to be front and center where things revolve around her- not Josh or his family. She is very special with star quality and a man needs to recognize that.

At first they couldn’t get enough of one another and were all physically entwined  in one another but it qucikly changed as Josh revealed his true competitive personality towards her.

Andi is  certainly the brighter of the two and the “star” of the relationship as I see it. Josh needed to both understand that and respect that for it to work.

Now that they broke up, Andi lost  the million dollars she would have  received from ABC if they had the  the lavish wedding, But she may be saving herself in the long run.Josh had no life before Andi came into the picture. Although he may have been  in the finance business  to me it didn’t seem he was that successful To me he just seemed like a companion and cheerleader to his brother Aaron.  He wasa  failed baseball player who never made it to the major leagues. Now we have come to find out that he was in trouble with the law in 2008 and arrested  in a booze fueled faceoff with a police office To me this shows that Josh may have had or still even has  issues perhaps with authority as well as anger issues and maybe even possible alcohol issues. Regardless, this does not look good in my book. The last thing Andi needed in her career asa DA was to have a husband who had problems with the law. It would not bode well for her.

In my view, Andi’s choosing him as a potential mate, gave him a career and made it possible for the management company to be interested in him. Prior to their meeting he had nothing of that nature and no one was interested in him.  Now that they have broken up, his brand most likely will not be as strong and he may not get the gigs he thought he could get becuase they are no longer a couple. In my view most people will now lose interest.  That  happens when the real l brand is over which was Josh and Andi.

But even if his own brand dies which it will he had now has some experience with how it all works so he could change his course and become his bothers manager and try to get him endorsements since Aaron is a bonafide football star and may have more public likeability. In my view how Josh treated Andy during their interviews and publically shows that he is not likeable  and has an edge about him that is not appealing to the masses in my view.

If I seem harsh about Josh it is because if he was smart he would have shown more  respect for Andi and allowed her to shime as he was the star of the show and he forgot that. It seemed to be too much about Josh and his needs and not about both of their needs as a couple.

                                   ReinVenting Andi’s Image – What Andi Needs to Do to Save Her Career 

Now that they broke up, Andi needs some major PR to  clean up her brand and her reputation. In essence, she needs to reinvent herself.

1. She needs to take some of that Bachelorette ]money and invest in a top gear  PR agent. Maybe she can also revisit  the Nick  issue and make it clear that he was not a gentleman but she slept with him because she had serious doubts about Josh after she met Josh’s over controlling family. She needs to say how Josh’s family upset her and how that was a factor that she considered which confused her and drew her to Nick as she loved his family. She needs to have a PR campaign about Double Standards in women  and slut shaming and bullying women and address women’s sexuality in her media  pr campaign in order to regain her reputation.

2. She needs to also talk about how when one is considering marriage they marry a family and  hoew Joshs Jock family was too invasive and not for her. She needs to make women aware that a family is just as important as the relationship. She needs to say how she couldn’t take a life of football games and everything revolving around Josh’s brother Aaron. She also needs to speak about losing herself in the relationship and how ultimately the family’s life style was not for her. She needs to admit how she and Josh could never build a family of their own with all of these outside family pressures and influences.

3.   Andi needs to drop the dress desiinging and clothing design career. The tee shirt she  It may be good as a hobby but  there are too many other designers out there who are much more talented  for her to succeed .

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Andi took a 1967  famous Anti War poster and put a silly little peach where the O was supposed to be and where the type is esentially the same.  and is selling this what many could view as a plagerized art form for $48 dollars. It has cheapened Andi and made others disrespect her. So she needs to cut lose of that clothing designer fantasy she has. So far she has not shown that she is creative in this area.

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Also with regard to her $15 dress she made for the Bachelor red carpet event, it smaked of pasive agressiveness to me.  It said I am not going to try anymore because I know my relationship with Josh is over so I don;t care. i refuse to go all out and dress uo.  First of all the color was awful and material looked cheap. For the event that it was, she needed to glam up as she glammed up throughout the show. Certainly she would have borrowed and outfit but this was a statement that she is in the designing business and it didn’t work. The dress did not show off her figure, In fact  it added pounds to her in my view. It certainly did not show her dress designing skills as it was not exciting or different.

2.She needs to focus on her uniqueness as a district attorney and come from her strength and intellect. She needs to do legal commentary. Since she is in Atlanta she may want to get her chops by being a local legal analyst on a local TV station. She also needs to hire a PR agent who specializes in getting her legal commentary gigs so she could be on the radio and on TV  and online all the time and build up her  media portfolio in a more respectful manner, not as the Bachelorette. She is also in Altanta which is the headquarters of CNN so she could easily be a legal guest on many of  their shows.

4.While she is very pretty her voice leaves a lot to be desired. She needs to see an ENT surgeon to restructure her sinuses as she is super denasal and that could hurt her media career as she is  very difficult to listen to. She needs some major voice and speech therapy training to help her get rid of the denasality. But to me is sounds like a structural problem so she needs to have the inside of her nose revamped surgically. She needs to go to the ENT Dept at Emory University in Atlanta  and see  what they can offer her. She also needs to go there for speech and voice therapy and coaching. If she cant find anyone in her area she needs to call my office in Los Angeles  and I can help her sound better for sure. She also needs to work on her on camera presence so that she works on her Bitchy Resting Face and downturned mouth which is not appealing especially for a media career. That would require a lot of  work on her part and once again  I could certainly help her with that

5. And finally she needs to thank God she is away from that Toxic Jock Family where she fit in like a sore thumb. She needs to  find a man who is  on her intellectual level and emotional level as  there was a lot missing with Josh. He may have been handsome and had a nice body but that wore thin as he was no intellectual or emotional match for Andi.She is one lucky lady who got out of that relationship before it was too late. I hope she follows the advice in this blog as it could turn her life and her reputation around in a very positive way.

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Did Officer Darren Wilson’s Vocal Tone and Words Inflame Anger and Actions of Michael Brown Causing His Fatal Shooting?
November 29, 2014

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Before I begin I want to state that I have no agenda here and I am not taking sides. This post has no racial or political undertones. As a body language expert and communication expert, I pose questions which in my view, may give us some insight as to another underlying factor  that has not yet been discussed in the press until this blog post.

We all know that The Grand Jury has spoken after scrutinizing the evidence which lead to Michael Brown being shot and killed by Officer Wilson and Officer Wilson not being charged with murder or manslaughter.

In  reporting my observations about Officer Darren Wilson’s body language and tone of voice and speech content and facial language  during the ABC interview , I found it to be as  disturbing as when I watched Michael Brown’s body language in the surveillance video.

In examining Officer Wilson’s account of the events, he did appear to be telling the truth about what happened as I did not see any outward signals of deception. However, I was particularly struck by Officer Wilson’s  robotic and monotone vocal tone and command  terms  when relaying the exact words he used to Michael Brown. Thus, it  made me question  if Wilson’s tone and words may have possibly been a contributing factor to this disaster.

 

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As we all saw on the video, Michael Brown robbed a store where he took some cigarillos. Brown then bullied and roughed up the store clerk as we can see in the screen shot above, leaving the clerk with a fearful body language. . While I have all the sympathy in the world for Michael Brown’s mother in losing a son, after her public comment that her son  would never do anything wrong, she needs to carefully examine the video with regard to her son’s entitled and bullying behavior. That said, many  teens have robbed and bullied and have not been shot dead.

No doubt when Michael Brown left the store feeling empowered that he was able to intimidate the clerk just by his size and  get away with taking whatever he wanted. Most likely, as Brown walked in the middle of street,  which was reported, he may have continued that feeling of empowerment and entitlement, especially when Officer Wilson approached him.

Reports say that when Officer Wilson saw him and a friend walking in the middle of the street. Wilson said he told Michael Brown to “get out of the middle of the street”.  But the question here is,  how did Officer Wilson tell Michael Brown to get out of the  middle of the street? What tones did he use and what exact words did Officer Wilson say to Brown?

The reason I bring this up is that even though Darren Wilson was doing his job as he repeatedly said, I wonder if perhaps it may have been Wilson’s tone or  the specific words he used that helped spark the fire that ignited an already entitled and empowered Michael Brown’s anger, which in turn escalated to the event that lead to Brown’s being shot to death.

Research has shown that the tone of a person’s voice and the words they use can either inflame or diffuse a situation. This is one of the things I continuously emphasize in my lectures to Police Departments across the country on body language and communication skills. Sometimes a simple “Please” before a command can change an entire attitude for all parties involved. Oftentimes a “please” doesn’t make the request sound like a threat. Perhaps Brown interpreted the command as a hostile threat and reacted as he did. So often things can escalate and get out of hand due to tones and words.

As a side note, throughout the years,  the Beverly Hills Police Department has been very aware of this very factor. One of the things that has been observed by many who have been stopped by a BHPD officer is that they are conscious of being very respectful and polite when they engage a person. In fact a friend of mine who is a retired Beverly Hills officer shared  with me that being respectful and polite was always drummed into all the officers.

In the Ferguson Police situation,  If Brown did attack Officer Wilson, Brown’s judgment was clearly impaired at that moment as any 17 or 18 year old high school student has to know that attacking a police officer will end badly. For Brown to return and attempt to tackle Officer Wilson, there was clearly something which enraged Brown which may very well have been a vocal and verbal stimulus from Wilson.

Also  as a side thought, why did the officer have to shoot Brown in the head as he charged towards him? Couldn’t Wilson have shot Brown in the legs or in the feet so he would fall down. It seems to me that shooting Brown in the head was excessive and  “overkill” to excuse the pun.

The first thing which struck me about Officer Wilson’s demenor on his ABC interview was his lack of facial animation and his tone of voice where there was a lack of vocal inflection and animation. He appeared detached in terms of emotion and robotic in his tones . This may be in keeping of the type of police officer he is – a “by the book” officer. As he described his actions of the night, this was quite evident. But his facial expression showed no sadness or distress when relaying how Brown died.

Since nothing happens in a vacuum and there is always a cause and affect, after listening to Wilson’s tones I wondered what it was that ultimately caused things to escalate to Michael Brown’s death. What caused this young man to react so angrily to Officer Wilson to led him to engage in a physical attack on the officer and the officer subsequently shooting him to death?

Was it the officer’s tone of voice when he first approached Michael? Did he speak in harsh hostile robotic and angry tones when he told him to get out of the middle of the street where Michael was walking with a friend?  Based on his account it is doubtful that Wilson used terms of politeness or respect  like “Can you please not walk out in the middle of the street?”  BAsed on the other harsh command terms he relayed, it is most likely that he  gave  Michael a harsh command? That may have made a huge difference  in what may have set the tone for what unfortunately followed.

Could all of this have been avoided if the officer would have used different words or different tones with this young man? What would have happened if he engaged Michael Brown and was polite and respectful, at least until his backup unit came by?

When Officer Wilson described the incident on ABC News , Wilson did reveal that he used the command terms “Get back or I’ll shoot you.” This resulted in Brown replying “You’re too much of a pu**y to shoot me.” In essence, an angry Brown was testing Wilson and reacting to what he perceived  as a threat.  But what if Wilson said “ Please get back. I don’t want to have to fire at  you? Would that have made a difference or was the dye already cast? Only Brown and Wilson will ever know the answer to this.

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Another thing which disturbed me the most in the interview was Wilson’s detached vocal coldness, when asked by  ABC interviewer George Stassinopoulos about Wilson’s conscience. When Wilson  said he had a “clear conscience”, it sent off a red flag to me. If someone is shot and killed,  no matter the circumstances, their conscience should not have been  clear in my view.

Many officers have shot in the line of duty, in  fear of their lives,  or to save the lives of others.  For the majority of officers, their conscience is not clear but as a human being it is disturbed for taking a human life. No matter how trained they are, taking a human life does and should have an emotional effect on a person.

Look what has happened to Veterans in so many wars,  who have been trained to kill the enemy. Even though they are doing their job, it still often  affects their conscience, so much so that they get post traumatic stress syndrome, which  has ruined  so many Veteran’s lives. PTSD is an epidemic among Veterans as it has been since World War II where it was referred to as “shell shock.” Vietnam Vets were the first to put a face on this disorder.

Just like Veterans, police officers who have killed someone in the line of duty, can and have easily suffered from PSTD . Oftentimes their consciences are so disturbed that they often undergo extensive psychotherapy to deal with the implications of taking a life . They are  often  counseled right after the incident and many remain in treatment for a long period of time.

In listening to Darren Brown speak, his robotic and detached tones spoke volumes to me . Darren Wilson is not a warm nor engaging  or even a personable type of policeman based on his observed demeanor. I wonder if he had been such a police officer if would Michael Brown still be alive today?

Bill Cosby Needs to Speak Up As Silence Is NOT Golden In His Case
November 19, 2014

Screen Shot 2014-11-19 at 9.52.32 AMWhomever is giving Bill Cosby advice with regard to not speaking up is giving him the wrong advice in my view. Even though our court system says one is innocent until proven guilty and that the defendant does not have to speak up for themselves in a court of law, in the court of public opinion it is a different matter.

In the court of public opinion which is the one which matters greatly to celebrities in terms of their public image, silence is not golden. If Bill Cosby is innocent of these multiple allegations, then he needs to speak up and say something. Otherwise it is perceived as his having something to hide and that he may be guilty. Even in the courtroom when one doesn’t speak up or take the witness stand, there is always the underlying question for the jury as to their guilt or innocence.

Because Cosby has always been vocal and has never shied away from speaking his mind like telling young Black men to pull up their pants and to use correct grammar and speech, it makes his silence on this matter even more deafening.

It doesn’t matter if his pitbull attorneys come out to discredit accusers like they just did with Janice Dickenson. Most people know the drill. They know that this is what attorneys do  as a defensive tactic, Thus it often make no difference to the public’s already formed opinion as to what  may or may not have happened.

What matters is having Bill Cosby himself coming forth and making a statement with regard to what each of his accusers have said about him. This would be Bill Cosby’s chance to come forward and to speak about his feelings, why it has happened, and why there have been rape rumors about him for year.

This is no longer old school PR from decades past. That school of thinking was to keep quiet so that things would be blown over and forgotten. But with the immediacy of the internet and it’s “documentation forever” this line of PR thinking is a thing of the past. Cosby needs to speak up and say what happened.

While it may be easy to discredit any of these now middle aged women by asking why they didn’t report it  back in the day or why they are now coming forward or why didn’t they do X or Y like Don Lemmon did on CNN. He actually had the audacity to ask one of the women why she didn’t bite Bill Cosby when he engaged her in oral sex.  Their not taking action at the time does not mean that they are not telling the truth today.  Back in the day young women were afraid to report rapes for fear they would be vilified and not believed.

But why would they lie now? It is not as though all of them are in show business and want to regain their 15 minutes of fame. In fact some have been athletes and people out of show business. In reality they would have nothing to gain by coming forth now except for public scrutiny. Most of these now grown women were teenagers or in their 20’s. They were no doubt smitten with Cosby’s celebrity and his power. Many were naive. No doubt they believed him when he  may have said he would help them with their careers which never happened, in exchange for sex. This has gone on since the beginning of Hollywood and still goes on.

The fact that Cosby settled with one of his victims says a lot in many people’s minds. While people settle for many reasons, one may wonder why Bill settled and for what reason. He needs to speak up about this settlement as well.

But truth be told, only these women know what did or did not  happen between them and Bill Cosby and all else is speculation.

That is why  it is essential for Cosby to not listen to his old school advisors or have his battleaxe lawyers speak on his behalf. he needs to speak up for himself. Where there is so much smoke there is usually often fire. So if Cosby wants to have his once stellar career back, he needs to come clean. His deal with Netflix is now on hold and no doubt his deal with NBC will suffer as well unless he speaks out.

The public and his fans who have supported him for so many years have a right to know what he thinks and to hear what he says about this devastating fiasco.

Nori’s Body Language Shows Detachment and Still Looking Miserable Around Kim Kardashian Despite PR Spin
November 19, 2014

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Kim Kardashian no doubt reads her press about her daughter Nori looking miserable around her and never smiling. Kim attributes it to being in front of th papps all the time.So she just did a PR campaign  to show little Nori smiling in her presence.  Kim says that  this is what they look like at home . But her campaign  has backfired on Kim  as you can see by Nori’s body language.

Yes Nori is smiling, but not at Kim. Nori  is looking up. She is detached from Kim.  There is too much space between them.  She does not lean into Kim and has  not done so in the majority of the photos we have seen of mother and daughter. While Nori is smiling, she is smiling  at someone else or something else. She is not smiling at Kim. The child’s hands and fingers rest on Kim  but they are not clasped around Kim with affection.  One of her little hands is cupped which indicated tension and discomfort  around Kim in my view. Nori gets comfort, not from Kim but from pressing her thumb and pointer finger together. That is her point of physical contact.It is not with Kim.

Kim’s smile and laughter is contrived and phony looking. What is telling in the photo that validates that there is a lack of bonding  between Kim and Nori and it is too late to establish any bonding. Kim missed the boat on that one as their  imprinting has already been established.  Kim is looking at Nori and Nori ignores Kim. Nori looks up. She does not look at her mother. True bonding would look very different where both mother and daughter would be looking at one another. Kim’s smile  also does not look genuine.

Screen Shot 2014-11-13 at 8.16.10 PMWhen Kim is naked as she was in her latest Nude Buttock and Full Frontal  Shoot her smile looks genuine. As I said in a previous article, Kim looks much happier whens he is nude than she does when she is  around her daughter.

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Then Kim posts this photo of the two of them together stating that this is how the look when posing for paps. First of  all this baby knows nothing about posing at this age. Nori’s  body language shows she  can’t stand being around Kim. She pulls away from Kim just as she does in most of her photos we have seen of the two of them. She looks sad and distant from Kim. Her little cupped hand shows tension. Her body is stiff when she is around her mother.

Kim is not fooling anyone by this latest spin to show how well she and Nori are getting along and how happy the child is around her. The  body doesn’t lie- especially the body of a baby.

Mama June Shannon Body Language Shows Deception, Shame, Denial, Defensiveness and Sadness on Dr. Phil
November 18, 2014

Screen Shot 2014-11-17 at 1.01.52 PMDr. Phil clearly gave June Shannon of Honey Boo Boo fame, a major reality check for her irresponsible behavior. her reaction was that she was in denial and very sad- not bout what she did and the choices she made but about Dr. Phil’s reaction to her. This is no doubt the first time someone has called this know it all mom” on the carpet for her actions.

June often stammered which is usually a signal of deception. She showed massive signals of deception when saying that she only saw the molester twice from her stammering to her monotone. She also showed these signs when she lied about the photo of her and the molester in the bed being photoshopped.

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Her shame was depicted by her hunched shoulders and bowed head. She also looked super sad with downturned mouth as Dr. Phil grilled her and she knew deep down that she was facing a losing battle.

She also tried to justify her actions when Dr. Phil showed her a photo of her and Alana and the molester on a stairwell. She immediately interjected that her kids don’t go anywhere without her. Well that made things even worse for June because one wonders how they can trust June if she is around the child with the molester. When Dr. Phil goes over her history with men who were in jail, she interruputs and makes comments that she thinks will water down her egregious behavior. She says that  her daughter Jessica’s father is locked up but interjects it had nothing to do with Jessica and seems to be annoyed as she seems to be blaming that “Catch a Predator” thing for why he is locked up.

Her defensiveness was reflected in the harsh tones in which she answered Dr. Phil where she loudly blurted out her answers to his questions in a staccato manner.

June’s being in denial was clearly evident when she said that the reason why TLC dropped her show was because she shared with them that the girls were tired of filming after 2 and a half years. She seemed to have no clue that the reason why she was dropped was becuase she was seeing  asexual predator and had her girls around him.

Honey Boo Boo Body Language Shows She’s The Victim In Mama June Mess As Her Weight Balloons Rapidly
November 14, 2014

Screen Shot 2014-11-14 at 3.47.50 AMMama June Shannon has made some pretty horrendous choices in her life. All of the the men she has chosen to father her four daughters have all been convicted felons. Two of the men who fathered her girls have been convicted child molesters.

Another horrible choice June has made concerns what she puts into her mouth- her food intake. It is unacceptable for a woman in her 30’s to be so grossly overweight that she sports multiple chins and subjects herself to a myriad of severe health issues from diabetes to heart disease.

But the worst choices she has made concern her youngest daughter Alana Thompson aka Honey BooBoo. Her choices of entering the child into  beauty pageants and then feeding the child  that famed “go go juice”  a concoction of caffeine laden, sugared Mountain Dew combined with Red Bull was child abuse in my view. The formula was given to Honey Boo Boo to make her peppy and alive when she was on stage. It could also have given her a heart attack or seizures as no child needs those harsh stimulants in their body. The effects of the “Go Go Juice ” was Alana’s odd behavior, which the public deemed as entertaining and funny. But in reality there was nothing funny about it.

The next choice June made with regard to Honey Boo Boo was to not set boundaries with her and tech her manners. We saw a completely out of control Honey Boo Boo on the Jimmy Fallon show. It was so bad that Honey Boo Boo had to be yelled at by Jimmy for disrespecting her mother. The sassiness that viewers once found entertaining looked very different as Alana was no longer a toddler or a pre schooler. It now appeared obnoxious.

June’s choice of allowing Alana around a convicted man who sexually molested her older daughter was the worst choice she could have ever made. Was she offering Alana up to this predator? Was Alana the bait she used to keep her romance with this sick creature going? Did Alana’s presence make June more appealing? To me it seems like this may be the case.

And finally another poor choice of June’s is to not restrict Honey Boo Boo;s intake of sugared and junk food. As we sa on the show,June allows Honey Boo Boo unlimited access to a convenience store near their home whereby Honey Boo Boo and her sister use the store as their home refrigerator.

In this fiasco with june loosing the show and the money and perks that go along with it, Honey Boo Boo is no doubt feelingt he stress as well. She is clearly eating away her stress with junk food. If June wants to destroy her body it is her prerogative. But she has no right to destroy Alana’s body. There is no reason whatsoever that a child  should have such a big belly as you can see in the photo above that it hangs over her pelvis. Honey Boo Boo is looking like a Mamma June mini me with multiple chins and a distorted face. Besides her unacceptable physical appearance the child is a prime candidate for Diabetes 2 and a myriad of other health issues.

I think that child services and social workers need to intervene and help June learn how to monitor Alana’s eating behavior.  If she doesn’t comply, Alana should not be in that home which is dangerous for her. The best thing that happened to June’s eldest daughter  Anna was to be taken out of June’s custody where she would eat a lot healthier than her obsese sisters.

Since TLC made millions of dollars exploiting this clearly dysfunctional family under the guise of family entertainment, they need to step up to the plate and offer the family a nutritionist and a psychologist to help innocent Alana and to help Mamma June as well. They also need to have family counseling and nutrition counseling for the other girls They owe it to this family. Mama June clearly has the lowest self worth based on her choices of men and based on her physical condition. She is eating away her inner pain.

Now we have come to find out that Mamma June’s first sexual experience was when she was a child at 12 years old. Perhaps this imprinting is why she appears to  now be drawn to child molesters. Perhaps she turned a blind eye when Anna reported that she was being molested was because she was using Anna a bait to keep the molester’s sickness fed and in turn to keep him around.   Now she appears to be offering up Alana to keep the same molester’s sickness fed and  to keep her romance with him alive.

In light of all of this it now makes a lot of psychological  sense as to why June put Alana into a child pageant in the first place- a haven for pedophiles. Did she do this to entice the  then locked up molester for whom she always held a torch?

If so, this is extremely sick.And TLC should  not throw Mamma June out on the street because they are afraid of the backlash of her being with a molester and being boycotted.  Instead, they need to  pay up for using and exploiting this woman’s sickness. They need to help her heal and foot the bill for extensive therapy, education, and health. You cannot use people like that.

Now that we know Mamma June was also a victim of child molestation  by having sex at such a young age, she needs help to deal with her pain so she doesn’t  continue to subject her daughters to it and so that she can protect her daughters. Mamma June has been in denial about the child molester because she most likely doesn’t see anything wrong with it. To her, it is normal behavior and all she has known. This is why she desperately needs therapy and TLC needs to foot the bill.

Since TLC is in the business of making money, they could perhaps offer a rehabbed Mamma June  the incentive of having a show if she agreed to undergo this transformation with therapy and nutritional counseling. Knowing that Mamma June was also an alleged  victim of sexual abuse gives the whole situation a new perspective. June and all of her daughters need counseling and reprogramming and TLC should step up to the plate and do the right thing by this severely dysfunctional family. You can’t allow someone to destroy themselves and just sit back and watch and be entertained. You need to intervene and do something to help them.

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