After seeing the documentary “Weiner” which won best -film at the sundance Film Festival and is about Weiners attempted comeback as a NY mayoral candidate, I found the film o be very disturbing.
While there were some humorous moments throughout the film, fascinating behind the scenes footage where you can really see how political people and their teams spin things,and electrifying moments showcasing Anthony Weiner’s intense charisma, the film saddened me.
Whenever Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin was on screen it was extremely painful and uncomfortable to watch. The woman’s body language said it all. There is a whole film within the film. It is not just about film about “Weiner”. Instead, it is a film where you can so clearly see every nuance of a betrayed woman in her body Language and how she is suffering in agonizing emotional pain.
At first, you see her swallowing her pride and trying to maintain her elegance and holding her head high, in standing by her man. She seems willing to move on and put everything behind her for the sake of supporting her man’s political ambitions and no doubt, her ambitions as well. But as the film progresses and you see how Weiner continued to lie about his sexting, you see Huma become more and more depressed, disgusted, and devastated. Towards the end, she can’t even be seen with him, let alone look at him.
And all the while Anthony minimizes his actions, is defensive, shows no contrition and tries to spin his indiscretions away.
After watching the film and feeling Huma’s pain, one could easily ask themselves why this woman is still with Anthony Weiner. Why doesn’t she just pack up and leave him? He clearly disrespects her and may very well be passive aggressive about her success. He has humiliated her beyond belief. So why stay?
Only Huma can answer that. But she is not unlike many women who are in relationships with Toxic Men who endure their pain for a number of reasons . In fact, I have discussed their reason for staying in my book Toxic Men.
- It may be for the sake of the child. In the Weiner’s case, they have a precious little boy. She may feel that the boy needs his father on a full-time basis and a split up might harm the boy’s emotional development.In the film, you do see how Anthony is very affectionate with his son, so not having that interaction on a regular basis may be a consideration.
- Also. she appears to be the breadwinner. Since Anthony seems to have a lot of time on his hands these days, he may be saving them a lot of money in babysitting fees.
- She is also so busy with Hillary Clinton, serving as Hillary’s right-hand person, that she may feel she doesn’t need the added stress fo a divorce and all that it entails.
- She may have religious or moral convictions that you “stand by your man through the good times and the bad times” and that no matter how bad he is, you must tough it out.
- She may be living with the hope ( or delusion or denial) that things will eventually get better if she sticks it out.
- She may have rationalized or convinced herself that it was only a picture and that he technically didn’t cheat on her with a specific woman in the literal carnal sense.
- She may be taking a chapter out of the Hillary Clinton playbook of looking the other way and still remaining married, no matter how bad things get.
- She may feel that leaving him may end his political career forever, just in case he has hopes of trying to run for office again.
- She may be an emotionally abused wife and not able to bring herself to leave.
In the film we saw glimpses of that emotional abuse, as she tells him she doesn’t have any speaking points and he tells her he will provide her with speaking points. he does it in a rather cold manner which makes her cringe as reflected in her body language.
But whether or not she decides to leave Anthony or stay with him forever, the one thing you cannot deny after seeing the film is how incredibly hurt she is. She can barely speak at times. She leaves the room on one occasion, and she constantly looks as though she is about to cry through the film. There is no doubt that she is in and her heart aches.
When you look at Anthony Winer you really see what an outstanding career he had ahead of him. He was passionate and charismatic. he seemed to hit a note with the people- especially the middle-class people he represented.
But then you see how power, boredom, his entitlement, lack of humility, and arrogance eventually got the best of him. What would bring a grown man with a successful and elegant wife, a family, and a huge political career, to send “dick pics” to strangers?
In my view, it appears to stem from his deep insecurity and self-loathe. This is someone who really hates himself and has what is known as the “imposter syndrome”. Even though he achieved a position of fame and power, deep down he really didn’t believe he deserved it. Therefore, he subconsciously sabotaged himself and literally exposed himself as that impostor- ( the imposter great politician, the imposter happily- married- man).
His insecurity and low sense of self perhaps may go back to his childhood where it would not be surprising to learn that this skinny, frizzy-haired, wiry kid with a big nose and a wide mouth was often teased.
That is probably when he learned to fight back with his words and aggression. One also cannot imagine him being that popular with the ladies as you look at a younger photo of Weiner.
But when he entered politics and was successful at it, suddenly his fame and power made him appear more desirable to the opposite sex. Women texted him and became very provocative. Since he most likely never had that female attention in his youth, he began to act out and engage in attention seeking ego-gratifying behaviors with numerous women. It didn’t matter to him that he was married to a pretty and successful woman. Like an attention addict, he couldn’t get enough of the female attention he must have craved so much in his youth.
So he responded to and engaged in online sexting with 20 something women who flattered him.
One of the women he sexted with was named Sydney Leathers, a rather unattractive wannabe who was the one who brought him down . In the film she relishes this on camera that she was the one who brought his career to a halt as she spoke proudly through her severe anterior open bite. In the film we see this Toxic Woman, now turned porn actress, waddling after Weiner and his entourage at a political speech in a failed attempt to physically confront him, in order to seek some more of her 15 minutes of fame.
Weiner wasn’t that discriminating. As long as they were young and flattered him, he was ready to take the next step and show them his private parts. Why would he do that? Becuase he could. Becuase on a conscious level, he thought he could be anonymous and get aways with it. He thought that no one would know or find out. He did it to gratify his ego and to raise his deeply low self-esteem. But he got caught.
But how in the world did he get caught doing what he did? Apparently he hit the wrong button on his smartphone. But I believe it is a lot deeper than that. I think he may have subconsciously hit the wrong button as a form of sabotaging himself as part of his “imposter syndrome” and revealing showing the world he really wasn’t who everyone thought him to be.
It is a sad film and speaks to Weiner’s false sense of superiority and entitlement, that he would allow himself to be filmed and seen in such a negative light. But as some say, any publicity is good publicity. Most likely this is not the end of Anthony Weiner. People often have short memories and often forget what people did in the past. the Also love is often blind as it appears to be in Huma’s case. For all we know they, may grow old together as they climb up the ladder of political success.