Elections are a sad time for relationships and friendships. It is a time where people often show their narrow mindedness as they are willing to pull the trigger and end lifetime relationships , just because they can’t simply can’t “agree to disagree.” Marriages have suffered and schisms between family members have deepened -all because of how people feel about one candidate or another. Sometimes their discovering differences in your political belief may be the catalyst they needed to lash out at you as they may never have really liked you. Or worse, they may have always been jealous or envious of you and now this is their opportunity to express their jealousy by speaking ill to you and to letting you have it.
When I look at the comments on Facebook telling friends to unfriend them if they vote for a certain candidate , it is extremely disturbing. People who have had lifelong friendships and relationships have now ended all communication because they don’t see eye to eye in terms of which candidate they support. For many, it is their attempt to associate with those who are like-minded to and reject anyone who thinks other than their way.It is a shame because there is much more to a relationship and a friendship than your political beliefs.
As a human behavior and body language expert, I NEVER put my personal views out in public as I MUST remain neutral at all times. I have done this since the 1980’s when I was first asked to give my feedback on various candidate’s body language in terms of how they performed during various debates.
But no matter how many times I state upfront that I am not a political person or that I am not supporting any candidate when I provide my insight, there are still a few ignorant individuals who insist that I am supporting one candidate over another.
This happened to me during the last election where Obama was debating Romney. As we can all recall, Obama’s performance during his initial debate was less than stellar, as he later admitted. As a result, I expressed in the media in the Associate Press , how poorly he had performed. While most agreed with me, there were some Obama supporters who couldn’t see past their nose when it came to Obama. They appeared to play the “Emperor has new clothes” game when in fact he was “naked” as they refused to see Obama’s poor performance at the time – something that Obama himself acknowledged.
While there are always haters out there, two of my haters were people with whom I had gone to high school. One of the haters , whom I never even knew went to my high school, was in my third-grade class. I hadn’t thought about her in decades and was even unaware that she had friended me. All I remember was that in grade school, she was a frizzy dark haired girl who used to oddly hold her mouth open whenever she drew pictures.
The other hater was someone whom I had nothing to do with in high school. Since I never associated with her in high school or paid her any mind, from what I learned from several who apparently knew her back in the day, she apparently was not very bright and was a “mean girl.” This “mean girl clearly grew up to be a “mean woman.”
The frizzy- haired first hater whom I hadn’t thought of since third grade, unloaded a barrage of hate towards me in defense of Barack Obama. Even though I tried to quell her hate by assuring her that I was merely reporting as a body language expert and not someone who had a political agenda, she continued to ignore this, unleashing even more hateful remarks. My Facebook friends and fans took offense at what this hater was doing and let her know in no uncertain terms that she couldn’t communicate to me in the way she was communicating and tried to drum it into her that I was not saying anything political, but merely reporting what I observed during he debates. But this didn’t seem to phase this hater, who continued her tirade until I unfriended her and blocked her.
The second hater ( whom I met and chatted with during a class reunion) was a friend to the first hater. She let me know that she didn’t appreciate how I and my fan base reacted to her friend- the first hater. She then proceeded to let me have it. She actually went off on me as she defended Obama and chastised me for my observations in the press.
Then she suddenly emerged from the alleged “mean girl” into a “mean woman” by personally attacking me by telling me I was nothing more than a “talking head” on TV and how some of her other high school friends (including a former cheerleader )felt the same way. As she said this to me, I had to laugh for two reasons. One was that she was acting just like an immature high schooler and secondly, as others reported to me that she wasn’t that bright back in the day, she still was seemingly not that bright as an adult. In her attempt to insult me by calling me a “talking head” anyone who speaks in front of the camera and gives commentary as I do is a “talking head“. Unbeknownst to her, the term is not a pejorative adjective as this hater intended it to be. Instead, it is a noun – what someone is and does. Needless to say, I defriended and blocked this hater as well.
Sometimes, the fact that you have a political opinion that is different than someone else’s opinion, is just the opening they need to unleash their true inner feelings towards you. While their verbal volcano may explode under the guise of a difference in politics, but the truth of the matter is that it is often something deeper with them as they take the opportunity to let you have it. Perhaps they did not like you all along or were jealous of you and your achievements or where you are in your life as opposed to theirs. So this is their opportunity to let you have it, just like the “mean woman” did to me.
So if you find people unleashing on you just because you support one candidate over another know that there is often something a lot deeper going on with them like jealousy inner hate, or their lack of self-worth. Mature people who have a solid and positive sense of self and know who they are can”agree to disagree.” They don’t have to hate on you just because your politics differ. While they don’t have to accept your candidate they can accept you as a person and as a friend. As the saying goes, they don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”