Jodi Arias Allowed to Live As Travis Alexander’s Death Teaches Us About Trusting Our Instincts When We Realize Someone Is Toxic

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The verdict is out and  Jodi Arias will not die by lethal injection, nor by any other means, after slaughtering her ex boyfriend Travis Alexander. Even though 11 of the 12 jurors felt that death would be the right punishment for her, there was one lone juror who refused to commit to having Jodi put to death.

As someone who does jury selection and trial consulting for a living, you can never ultimately predict  what will happen in a real trial. Even if you ask jurors who are serving on a death penalty case if they could in fact choose death as one of their choices and they answer “yes”, when push comes to shove and they have to make the decision as to whether someone lives or dies, many cannot choose death after all..

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When the judge told the jury that they had to decide on an outcome after four days of deliberation, I knew that Jodi would most likely  not be put to death. Now she has to await the judges decision, which will occur in April,  as to whether she will spend life behind bars without parole or life with parole after two and a half decades when she will be in her mid fifties as you can see by this art rendering of her aging.

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Whether or not she gets life or life without parole, there will be times at the harsh Perryville Prison  where Jodi will be baking in the scorching Arizona sun, in an open air cage, that she may very well have wished she received the death penalty when the other prisoners make her life a living hell.

The bottom line is that Jodi will be living under harsh conditions where she may spend most of her time in isolation in order to protect her from other prisoners  because she is such a high profile case. This could be the worst torture of all for Jodi Arias who thrives on attention and manipulation of others. If there is no one to manipulate or to give Jodi, her attention fix, life for her may not be worth living.

In any event, one does not have to be killed to receive just punishment as Jodi will soon discover in her new home.

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One of the most anguishing sites at the trial was seeing Travis’ sister, who loved her brother so much, break down and cry in such pain. She was inconsolable, while  Jodi  was at the other end of the courtroom showing no compassion and no emotion as you can see below. Perhaps she was in shock. Perhaps she had expected to receive the death penalty.

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One of the things that jurors said after the trial was that  throughout the trial, Jodi showed no remorse for what she did to Travis. This was not surprising to me. The bottom line is that Jodi actually believed that she was was a woman scorned. In  her warped thinking,  she no doubt felt that Travis got what he deserved. That is why she showed no remorse and no genuine emotion. She did not feel sorry for what she did to him. She felt that he abused her and used her and he had what was coming to him.

While almost all of the jurors felt the opposite, there was one juror who obviously thought along the lines as Jodi. She too, felt that Travis abused her and used her.

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While so many people remarked that Travis was a wonderful guy, truth be told, he was full of contradictions. He wanted to follow his faith and not engage in sex before marriage, yet he continued to engag in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi she was not the woman for him and wanted to find a pure Mormon wife, yet he continued to engage in sex with Jodi. He told Jodi to leave him alone and not stalk him, but yet continued to allow her into his life and into his bed. He allowed her to clean his home. He allowed her into his life, instead of calling the police and getting a restraining order against her and being vigilant about her ever being in his presence.

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When Travis first met Jodi he was taken with her. he thought she was beautiful, glamorous and super sweet. But her sickeningly sweet tones belied her. They reflected a great deal of psychopathology. As Travis got to know Jodi, he realized there was something very wrong with this woman. Yet, he continued to take her to bed and have sex with her. He continued to travel with her.

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He  eerily voiced his concern about Jodi being a serial killer to many of his friends. Even his friends picked up on the fact that there was something off about Jodi as they asked in disbelief, if she was always that “sweet”. It was that sickening sweetness that didn’t ring true to either Travis or his friends.

But being the nice guy that he was and wanting adventure as well as ” having his cake and eating it too”, he ignored his instincts. He ignored what he saw and what he heard out of Jodi’s mouth. He ignored her tones and her actions.He ignored his own gut level reactions that he shared with friends, and unfortunately,  he ignored the action he need to take. That action was to stay completely away from Jodi and never allow her  back into his life under any circumstances. He needed to cut off the phone calls and the visits for good.

His lack of listening to  and trusting his initial instincts about Jodi and acting upon them,  tragically  cost him his life. I am in no way blaming the victim – blaming Travis. Instead, I am pointing out how his death can serve as an example to all of us and to our children. If we see and hear and feel something is not right about another person, we must cut it off asap and never look back.

When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, when you feel queasy or nauseated around the person, when you have a tinge of fear around them- run as fast as your feet will carry you and never look back.

And remember to never trust anyone with a high pitched baby girl sickeningly sweet breathy, monotone,  voice quality devoid of demotion. This voice often reflects a passive aggressive personality. Their voice indicates that they are hiding something and not revealing their true selves.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. There is alway a  “cause” and and an “effect”. The “cause” of Travis engaging in sex with Jodi and then taking a shower to get ready to take another woman out of town created the “effect” of  having a very disturbed woman  brutally murder him.  The cause of his not listening to and trusting and acting on his negative  instincts about  Jodi, created the tragic effect of him leaving the earth way too soon.

Travis did not die in vain. His death teaches us  that we all to pay close attention to that gut level feeling that tells us something is wrong with being around a specific person. If you are around someone where you even joke about them being a serial killer, get away from them as soon as possible. Your instincts are screaming that something is wrong.  Had Travis listened to his gut and trusted his instincts and never allowed Jodi  into his life again, he would probably be alive today.   May he rest in peace and may Jodi be held accountable  and deal with the effects that her actions caused for the rest of her natural life.


21 thoughts on “Jodi Arias Allowed to Live As Travis Alexander’s Death Teaches Us About Trusting Our Instincts When We Realize Someone Is Toxic

  1. Dr. Glass, you have articulated what I have been thinking all along. Travis, for whatever reason, naïveté or lust, was playing a very dangerous game with Arias. There were so many red flags, and he ignored them all. You are a million percent right. I love your blog.


  2. Dr. Glass,

    You expressed something that is key for all of us and even perhaps more so for those who are young, guileless and full to the brim with positivity. So positive they fail to comprehend that there are those who are without honorable intentions….even in “high places.” We tend to imagine others are just like us. My sister and I recently discussed that it is vitally important that when children leave the nest parents help them prepare. They need to aware the world is made up of a host of characters: some are decent and well meaning, while others are con artists, manipulative and cunning, and a smaller percentage are without conscious and dangerous. They are the sociopaths.

    I do believe a combination of naiveté and lust blinded Travis. He was a physically healthy, energetic man, so his desire for sex was normal. However, you don’t want to engage in relationship with crazy or a bunny boiler. Enters Jodi more experienced sexually and willing…. in hopes of becoming Mrs. Alexander. During my dating years, I stopped seeing anyone I did not share a mutual like or attraction. It isn’t honest to give false hope to the other. Even if the other party says it doesn’t matter, it does.

    Earlier this week I came upon a 48 hrs story called “Fall From Grace” about a beautiful, scholastically bright, and generous woman named Bethany
    Ann Leidlein Deaton. She was a nurse and active in her Church. She meet her demise only 6 weeks after marrying a sociopath hiding behind the mask of authority and religion. She was only 27. She was home schooled, raised in the Christian faith and went out in the world to help others. She met Tyler Deaton and it seems things went downhill for her from there….he wasn’t who she imagined he was. Such an intelligent woman, yet taken in by the facade. These are important life lessons, just as you say Dr. Glass!

    There was a time in my life where my rational mind would argue with my gut instincts about people. I was raised Catholic and taught everyone is good. After a few hard lessons, it was clear my instincts, gut feelings,and body sensations were attempts to keep me safe. Today, I recognize these sensations as a Gift from God. We all have it.


    1. Excellent comment. A very good book which makes the same points you do – and which I would like every young person to read – is The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. He says that people who are toxic and even dangerous, such as potential stalkers, give out subtle signals early on in a relationship that something is wrong with this person. Sadly, too many of us ignore those signals. De Becker writes that we should learn to trust out intuition and let it guide us – and that means getting away from that person as quickly as possible.


  3. Jodi has a very big ego and I’ve often been very careful of people with big egos. They may be very dangerous. When I look at all her pictures, namely selfies, I get an odd feeling. The pictures are so similar to pictures of other women I know on social media. Jodi also seems to use Travis as a “photo op”, in the pictures of the two of them. This kind of thing in our new twilight zone culture is like loving yourself as a parrot does in the mirror admiring her own reflection… it is also a waste of intelligence. It calls to mind the term “bird brain” And yet, it reveals a type of captivity in their being. Because for one, a parrot has an excuse, it is caged, and if a parrot falls in love with its own image, it is because it is lonely…perhaps suffering from delusions.


    1. wow the way you wrote about people with big egos and selfies really got to me in a sad way, but so true. i have just quite my job from the stress my boss has given to me and what dr glass said about our gut feeling is so true but i kept brushing it off as my own immature issues for not being professional enough,
      but in reality it was my gut telling me this woman hate everything about me to the point she would make fun of me for my small size, and when i pointed it out she said “i was only kidding!” i know what that means after reading dr lillian glass’s book ..
      But dr glass i have a question for you, i am a sensitive person and i sometimes brush off someones comment because i feel im too sensitive, so how do i know whether i am being too sensitive to someone els’s comment towards me or that they have crossed the line?
      when do you address someone comment about you? i kept taking my boss behaviour with me as her personality that she is like that with everyone but it wasnt that way and i ended up feeling disrespected and under appreciated,


      1. Dana,

        Good question. I hope Dr. Glass has the time to respond.

        Did you sense the boss felt threatened by you in some regards?
        Or that you did outshine her in some area? How about your co-workers at the time, did they kowtow in her presence?

        If you wish it to remain private, I understand. I ask because there was a time my younger sister would say things to me that were “subtle put downs.” I did not respond with snide remarks, but her words hurt me terribly. It took me a while to realize she felt jealous of me (in my head, I’d go “why.”)….it didn’t make sense. My thinking is let’s be happy for the good others experience, there is enough to go around because God is Infinite Goodness. She and I are different personalities. I believe she interpreted my quiet strength for weakness.

        Today, our relationship as changed, there will be some undercurrents from time to time, but I know how to handle it. I respect myself and don’t allow her to get away with putdowns, “joking” or not. Family makes these situations more challenging, creating boundaries is the key.

        Best of luck in your new job.


  4. Dr. Glass or anyone who may know,

    Was it proven the photos taken on Travis’s last day of life were not “staged.”

    There are those who believe the proven liar entered through the doggie door, used the stun gun on him, and then held a gun and staged the photos. There is mentioned of Travis looking discombobulated on the bed. I won’t look at the all the crime scene photos. In the shower photos, you can see the terrified look in Travis’s eyes. Those pictures to me are undeniable staged. Also I have read where she had accessed his fb password, email password, and had access to his computer. I believe she still had a key to his house or would let herself in through the doggie door.

    Why would I accept Jodi’s testimony that when she got to Travis’s house that last night, he was awake, and had engaged in voluntary sex with her? Someone that would find a way to hack his personal information, and who had plotted his downfall, could just as easily staged those final photos. She likely wanted to keep the photos, as do most sociopaths, to relive the memory of her “victory.”
    She tossed her camera into the washer with the sheets which was one of his best mistakes.


  5. I am not opposed to the death penalty, but I did not think it was the appropriate punishment for Jodi Arias. I thought life without parole was more appropriate to the criime. I think it is why two juries have been unable to agree on a punishment.

    Travis used her for sex. His rejection salted a wound far deeper than he understood that she had, and she punished him for every terrible thing that ever happened in her life. He had no idea how sick she was,

    Was it the right thing for Jodi to do? Dear God, no. Was it premeditated? Of course it was. Would she do it again? probably. Does she have any appreciation of the pain she caused others? I doubt it.

    I know that her behavior does not qualify her as being mentally incompetent, but I believe she is deeply and profoundly mentally ill. I just cannot put to death someone so very ill. I don’t see a feme fatale in the pictures of her, I see a very damaged girl.

    My heart breaks for his family. There was just no go way for this to end, and my only hope is that they find comfort in the fact that her conviction means she can’t hurt anyone else,

    Thank you, Dr. Glass, for the way you addressed this story. You did a good job,


  6. You may have already heard the recent “bombshell” news about the holdout juror #17 having a personal grudge against prosecutor Juan Martinez. Apparently, Mr. Martinez prosecuted her first husband — whom she married the day before he went to prison — for felony burglary. When the jurors were asked if they knew any of the parties, attorneys or court staff, she did not disclose this. She subsequently divorced her first husband and married another convict who is her current husband, so this deceptive concealment was not discovered prior to the other 11 jurors complaining about her complete refusal to participate in deliberations.


  7. Jodi Arias should remind us all to trust our inner voice. The brain will try to rationalize and over think things and situations but the gut feeling is seldom wrong. That gut feeling is your survival instinct talking to you and it is wise to listen to what its telling you.


  8. Jodi is crazy like a fox. As a result of Jodi’s brutal murder of Travis, his ex roommates live in tremendous fear (terror) as do other friends and does Travis’s family.

    So crazy, she was explaining (corrupting) 2 – 15 year girls who wished to video chat with her as how to attain fake identifications. Jodi is the one to ask about how to lie, cheat, and devise devious plans. Sheriff Joe is in the process of banning certain people from having video chat with her.

    Speaking of lying, cheating and cunning, it is highly possible those sex pictures from the murder day were pictures taken at another time, and she changed the dates. It is possible she hide in the house (if she came through the garage as she stated she would have seen the new roommates car in there). However, when Flores questioned Jodi, she was not aware of the new roommate, Enrique Cortez Jr. and his car in the garage. Travis’s house was large and she could have hid, and waited until he was in the shower and vulnerable. She is so twisted you cannot put anything past her. I don’t know if this was brought up in the trial, but again she could have switched pictures from an earlier time, changed dates.

    Jodi will never have remorse for what she did. If she were released from prison, she would likely kill again. She wanted pictures of the murder just the way a serial killer does, to gloat about her handiworks. Could she be the next Aileen Wuornos?

    When does the tipping point come where “mentally ill” becomes evil?


    1. Mentally ill does not make it okay. Think about it: for someone to do something as Jodi Arias did is evil –she is an ill woman. With that said; Jodi does not deserve to be in society.
      The case in Pittsburgh where a woman cut the baby out of a mother; the judge said he believed the woman was mentally ill and agreed with the defense. Then he said; with her being mentally ill and commiting such a henious act is more of a reason why she does not belong in society.


  9. Jodi may be allowed to live but her life will be hell. People do not realize, when a person gets sentenced to death; they are granted three appeals costing the tax payers even more money.


  10. Well I see that you have learned to proofread but you still have some errors. Also it sounds like You ARE blaming Travis. Jodi is pure evil and that is why Travis could not escape.


    1. Sophie Moon from Lancaster Pennsylvania, take your hatred else where like on Jodi Arias who murdered Travis, not here! And stop your uginess and contentiousness. But that may be hard for you since it seems like it is a part of your nature as we have all seen.
      You are clearly demonstrating that you are not that bright Kate if you came to the conclusion this blog blames Travis. Of course it doesn’t blame him and that is the first thing I say in the blog. But you are so full of hate and looking for a fight that you didn’t even read it. Travis could have escaped by not having sex with her, and engaging Jodi or hiring her to clean his home especially when his instincts told him she was dangerous. He did not trust his instincts even though he mentioned to many of his friends that he thought Jodi was dangerous. WE can ALL learn from Travis to trust our instincts and act upon them. That is what this blog is about. Travis unfortunately did not act on his instincts and we all saw the result.
      And as far as my misspellings, I am dyslexic and I am doing the best I can. iI you don’t like my blog, go elsewhere as there are plenty of others out there to read. Take your ugly hate elsewhere Sophmoon.


    2. Sophie, press down the “Ctrl” button and hold it, then press “F.” On the top right corner of your screen you will see a box with the cursor in it. Type the following (without quotation marks): “I am in no way blaming the victim – blaming Travis. Instead, I am pointing out how his death can serve as an example to all of us and to our children.” This will hopefully answer your inquiry as to whether or not the author is “blaming” the victim. If it does not help, then nothing can help you.


  11. Everyone who is wondering if the pre-attack photos were staged, etc. I am pretty sure I have the explanation. Jodi arrived in the middle of the night. The reason she didn’t kill him right away was because Enrique was still in the house. The other roommates were gone, and Jodi knew this, and Enrique wasn’t leaving for work until 8:30 in the morning. So the encounter began mellow enough. Either he was expecting her and they talked and went to sleep— or, more likely she surprised him and it pissed him off but he let her stay and sleep til the next day when he was not only less angry but also horny and ready for sex. But yes, the only reason Stabby didn’t kill him immediately after her arrival was simple — WITNESS IN HOUSE. Great blog by the way — love your insights, especially re body language.


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