Broken Relationships, Mean Girls,Toxic People Fallout From Presidential Campaign Need Healing

The Presidential Election is finally over and President Barack Obama has been elected to a second term.  Even though I did an inordinate amount of press for it from numerous Associated Press interviews to appearing on  CNBC, to the Daily Show, Good Day LA, Geraldo, Mancow and countless radio shows across the country concerning the body language of the debaters and wrote extensive blogs on the candidates as well, I too share the sentiments of the precious little girl who went viral on youtube who was crying .

She was crying because  she was sick of  “Bronco Bama and Mitt Rom men nee. “No doubt she was sick of the hatred and ugliness she was hearing  on TV or on the radio, or perhaps from her  from her parents  and others when discussing their candidate.

While I honor that everyone has their own political views, I can assure you that  my intention  during my national interviews and in my blogs were  to never be political.I am not a political person or a political analyst. I just report what I observe from a body language standpoint. That is the truth coming from my own mouth. So when people have commented that I am partisan they are wrong as I support no party and have no agenda.

Even though I repeatedly stated this, several  refused to accept that and  subsequently spewed forth their own political beliefs via their  comments. Many went on a diatribe and leveled personal attacks which were uncalled for.

What was most shocking to me was that the ones who made the most TOXIC comments  and leveled the most vitriol were acquaintances whom I barely knew who  came out of  the woodwork.  One  such commenter was so hateful and vitriolic that my fans on my facebook page turned against her in my defense.  Apparently this  woman turned out to  be someone whom I hadn’t spoken to since I was 8 years old in the 3rd grade and whom I  only remembered  as a frizzy haired child with a strange looking  mole on her face who liked to color.

While  she was certainly free to express her opinions, when she decided  to make personal attacks  on me , especially  after I  repeatedly told  this obviously not very bright woman based on the  illogical thought patterns she expressed  and her refusal to accept that my site was not a political site.  She continued to make  personal attacks  until I told her that she was no longer welcome and blocked her from Facebook.

Next, a highly Toxic woman whom I  barely knew or  spoke to in high school but  whom I met decades later as a result of my high school reunion,  took  it  upon herself to defend  the  now grown up frizzy haired girl who was in my  3rd grade class .These two  were obviously friends who shared the same political beliefs. When I tried to once again reassure the Toxic  woman whom I was reaquainted with as a result of my high school reunion that my blogs and television and radio appearances were my observations about the candidate’s body language , she too  began to unload personal attacks until I blocked her from my Facebook account as well.

She even went to far as telling me that she, and the now grown up frizzy haired girl with whom I hadn’t spoken to since 3rd  grade, as well as a third woman- a former high school jock, (whom I  hadn’t spoken to since high school) all discussed me and came ot the conclusion that  thought that “all my fame went to my head”  and that I have turned into  a  vapid “talking head” on television.   With comments like that , it is obvious  this  Mean Girl is still mentally stuck in high school mode.

But what she intended  as  a mean cut was a actually a compliment  to me  as I am indeed  officially on the  media list as  a talking head and I  must say that I am proud of it. I should also share with you that this  Toxic woman  who made this comment  is the same woman who contacted me and  hit me up for advice about doing a television show  as she wanted to appear on camera.

Finally, a fourth woman with whom I had not spoken to since 7th grade gym class whom I only remember as having an unusually  deep hoarse voice  for  a 12 year old and who had  a very bad complexion at the time,  spewed forth her  own vitriol and made personal attacks as she chastised me for briefly  mentioning the above incident in a previous blog.

As I saw it, four  ugly  “Mean Girls’ – one from grade school,  one from junior high school, and  the  two  from high school, now  grew up and clearly  became  ugly  “Mean Women” in my view.

I certainly  am not the only one who has experienced this type of  Toxicity. There are a lot of people who turned into “Mean Women” and “Mean Men”  who   personally  attacked others they knew,  simply because they thought differently. There was no more “agreeing to disagree”  and still  maintaining  a sense of respect and dignity towards one another.

The vitriol was not only spewed  towards  remote insignificant acquaintances from the past as in my case, but  rather  with long time friends, work colleagues,  family members, and even spouses.

 

Many  saw other’s choices for a candidate as a reflection of their beliefs and personal issues. Tom, an Obama loving  gay man refused to ever speak to his  Romney supporting brother  Mike, (who  by the way was the only one  in his family who supported Tom  when he came out as being gay).  Tom said he could never look at anyone, including his own brother  who didn’t  support gay marriage like Obama did.

Another man, Ed  who was in ill health and supported Obama because of his Obamacare,  looked at his Romney supporting former best friend as a traitor who didn’t care about his friend’s heath.They haven’t spoken in months and  both never plan to speak again.

And  Jane, woman who  once had a daughter out of wedlock who’s daughter  grew up to become an attorney , will never speak to Lisa,  the Obama supporting  Godmother to her  lawyer daughter,  because Jane  is understandably,  vehemently opposed to abortion.

So when I was listened to a show on  NPR  (KPPC affiliate) discussing how once close  relationships have been destroyed over this election I listened carefully.The show told how families became divided over this election, refusing to speak to one another. One father kicked his son out of the house for not voting for Romney. One man who was interviewed on the show said that while his brother in law can come over he cannot partake and eat his barbecued cooking.

The NPR Affiliate in LA  also had another  show  about how Facebook friends  unfriended  one another due to political beliefs . They even   did a poll on it  where they found that people were indeed unfriended  others due to their political views and vice versa.

As I listened to the radio show detailing how specific relationships were so easily  tossed aside,  I thought that perhaps  these differences of opinions among so called friends may be an excuse to hang a hat on some true underlying negative feelings about the person.

Perhaps the man who wouldn’t  allow his brother in law to eat his barbecued  meat really never liked him in the first place. Perhaps the father who  kicked his  twenty something son out of the house, finally found an excuse to use  to stop his freeloading.

Maybe it was the tone of the debates  themselves which brought out people’s vitriol towards one another. How can we forget watching   the second debate where  the two candidates physically looked as though they were in a boxing ring as they circled one another in a threatening looking manner.

Perhaps it was the ugly campaign  ads  with personal attacks which added fuel to the fire  and  leaked  into our personal relationships with one another. Perhaps it was the last ditch efforts we all saw where PR scavengers like Gloria Alred  and Donald Trump were trying to dig up some nastiness and personal dirt  on the candidates, which turned out to be a dud in both cases.

Well now that the debates and campaigning  have ended, we need to heal.  We  not  only need to heal from the ugly words that infected our eyes and ears throughout this campaign.

We also  need to forgive and let go and make attempts to rekindle those once special relationships  we have  suddenly cast off.  Politics is not worth coming  between people who  once  loved and cared deeply  about one another . We need to so what we did before the election when our friends and relatives didn’t agree with us and that is to simply  “agree to disagree” and not ” throw the baby out with the bath water” or “cut off our nose to spite our face” as the expressions go.

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11 thoughts on “Broken Relationships, Mean Girls,Toxic People Fallout From Presidential Campaign Need Healing

  1. Vote Obama//can keep our country from TOXIC waste!THE REAL RECORD IN MASS:WATCH OUT AMERICA!
    Romney’s initial emergency budget proposal for fiscal year 2003 called for $343 million in immediate funding cuts, necessitating layoffs of state employees and cuts in aid to cities and towns for public safety and education. He explained in a televised address, “There’s no time to restructure state government or remake state programs. On such an emergency timetable, there’s just time for cuts. He also proposed cuts in state expenditures for Medicaid, the government program providing health care for the poorest state residents. The cuts included caps in payments to medical providers (one example being through limiting payments for hospital stays to 20 days, no matter how sick the patient), increased stringency of the criteria for Medicaid eligibility, and rationing of access to higher-priced medications for Medicaid patients. Some 36,000 Massachusetts residents lost their Medicaid eligibility. The 2003 emergency budget revision proposal also included funding cuts affecting public colleges and universities, treatment for schizophrenic and other mentally ill patients, and various other social services.

    Cuts in funding to local communitiesRomney’s austerity budget for fiscal year 2004, unveiled just weeks later, included even more substantial cuts in state funding for cities and towns. The final budget passed by the legislature (after overriding Romney’s attempt to make still further cuts using line-item vetoes), cut funding for local aid to many communities by as much as 20 percent. Already struggling to absorb funding cuts from the prior year’s budget, communities across the state were forced to cut services and hike fees, while laying off teachers, police officers, and other municipal workers.To compensate for lost revenue from the state government, communities raised local property tax rates, helping drive up the average residential property tax bill by 22 percent over the course of Romney’s tenure. In response to complaints about the high residential property taxes, Romney supported and signed into law legislation that allowed communities to shift some of the burden of rising property taxes from residential property owners onto business owners. He also expressed approval for state tax law changes that would permit communities to raise local sales taxes and fees if the local voters agreed.

    As with the 2003 emergency revision budget, Medicaid funding, which was responsible for more than one-fourth of all state spending and which had been growing rapidly, was targeted for cuts in the 2004 budget. In addition to proposing reductions in payments to hospitals and nursing homes for care of Medicaid patients, and restrictions on Medicaid patients’ access to prescription drugs and eligibility for nursing homes admission, Romney proposed that the low-income Medicaid patients be charged monthly fees for participation in the program, along with co-payments for visits to doctors’ offices. The 2004 budget also incorporated further cuts in funding for higher education. Public colleges and universities responded to funding cuts during Romney’s tenure by raising mandatory fees 63 percent. Most other areas of state government were budgeted to receive approximately 5 percent less funding on average.

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  2. I will never forget my 4 year old son coming home from my father’s house crying to me “Paw Paw says Obama is going to take our farm away!” I explained to him that would not happen, not to worry about such things and that our life would not change no matter who is elected. That made me angry and I told my father that if he continued to discuss politics with my 4 year old, I would not let him visit with his grandson anymore. It didn’t happen again (as far as I know). My father is a narcissist and a toxic, hurt man scared by his childhood. He adores my son, and me most days, but we love him from a distance and keep our visits short.

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  3. Dear Dr. Glass:

    First and foremost, I, too, look upon the dissolution of long standing relationships – and even generally far less substantial “Friendships” on Facebook, as sad beyond measure. In a world hungering for peace and thirsting for the triumph of all things best about humanity, our political beliefs, regardless of how fervently held, should NEVER be permitted to trump the healing, unfailing, and abidingly redemptive power of love. “United we stand; divided we fall”.

    Just the same, no matter how earnestly I try, where I consistently disconnect with your thinking is in instances of catapulting from voiced concerns of bias in your field – or any other areas it most crucially needs to be avoided and/or overcome – to the sweeping, incorrect conclusion that these concerns are accusations that you and/or your Blog is “political”. I’ve never for one moment entertained the thought that your Blog is political; however to repeatedly assert that you do not support one candidate or another for President of the United States is impossible to accept as truth. As an intelligent, well educated, astute adult citizen of the United States, surely you are not telling us that you do not support, nor will you be casting your vote, for the Presidential Candidate of your choice in the election now upon us.

    A second disconnect occurs when you pedantically interpret concerns regarding influential bias as accusations that you are being “dishonest” or not reporting exactly “what you saw” following each Presidential Debate. I speak solely for myself here, of course… but I suspect that many join me in concluding that personal bias played, albeit unconsciously, a significant role in how you interpreted “what you saw”.

    I must say, after reading your post today, that my suspicions have only been heightened in that regard. Reaching back as far as your grade school years, in the case of two out of four of the classmates to whom you refer, you indicate that you remember them for less than stellar – some might say rather condescending – reasons. One little girl you recall from the 3rd grade had twice-mentioned “frizzy hair”, “a strange looking mole on her face”, and a fondness for coloring; another female classmate from 7th grade gym class you “only remember as having an unusually deep hoarse voice for a 12 year old” and “who had a very bad complexion at the time”. References to these four individuals throughout the remainder of your post, is amply sprinkled with disturbing phraseology such as “ugly” and “obviously not very intellegent. [sic: intelligent] “, etc.

    No decent, civilized human being should ever look upon unfounded personal attacks on ANYONE’S part as acceptable, appropriate, or tolerable in the minutest sense of the word. But a response such as that embodied by the post you’ve recorded today, particularly uttered by a mature, highly educated professional in the field of Behavioral Sciences, is no more palatable – particularly when so many individuals look to you for advice and guidance. You express pride in being considered a “talking head” in the field of broadcasting… and that is a good thing if you are consistently mature and unfailingly professional. But remember, too, that individuals such as Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck also number among the “talking head” ranks. On that topic, enough said…

    Everyone in the United States of America has a right to hold dear and openly express their outlook, personal philosophies, beliefs, opinions ~ and certainly their preference among Presidential Candidates. We have been granted those rights first by God and then, in these United States, by our Constitution and Democratic way of life. Those rights have, continue, and God willing, forevermore will be fiercely defended and sacrificed for by our finest men and women on these and distant shores.

    For me, there is no greater responsibility than that of casting an informed ballot, particularly where electing or re-electing our President is concerned. I refuse to vote in blind allegiance with any particular political Party.

    Though I do tend to vote for Democratic candidate more often than not, truth to tell, there have been instances through the years when I regarded a the Republican and/or Independent candidate for varying positions as the best choice available. In the matter of the 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012 Presidential elections, however, that is most definitely not the case.

    My bottom line with those I trust to lead my country is a very simple one; it is the same principle, as a matter of fact, that has guided me well for 61 years in every relationship and endeavor I’ve encountered: “In matters that impact the lives of myself and fellow Americans, good news or bad, tell me the truth. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, don’t make promises you cannot (or do not intend to) keep. Just don’t lie to me.”

    Mitt Romney has lied to America – time after time after irrefutably and fully documented time. His latest blatant lie was advising the crucial electoral state of Ohio’s Auto Workers that President Obama “sold Chrysler to Italians who are going to build Jeeps in China” at the cost of American jobs. This has subsequently been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be an complete and utter prevarication. And this is but the most recent of repeated such indiscretions on Romney’s part throughout this election campaign.

    President Obama’s predecessor lied to us, too, Mr. Romney. He did so to play on our post-9/11 shock and grief, whip up patriotic support, and take us to war… perhaps, I’ve always suspected, to avenge what Saddam Hussein did to his father’s political career. I pray to God, given how Mr. Romney’s repeated lies have been exposed time and time again, that American voters will not buy into his deja-vous-all-over again empty promises, spawned of a platform of deceit.

    Barack Obama has his sleeves rolled up at the moment, less for the task campaigning and more, instead, for that of leading a country now recovering from devastation on multiple fronts – one at the hands of Hurricane Sandy and most of the remainder courtesy of former President George W. Bush. President Obama has throughout his first Term told us the truth, then delivered his full attention, expertise, and remarkable dedication to not only leading, but standing WITH us, as well, as we slug our way back from a terrible recession. I fully intend to give him at least as much time to help us recover as his predecessor was given to run us so terribly aground.

    May God bless, preserve, and keep our President, our country, and all living souls throughout this world.

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    1. Kelly, I was not condescending to the grade school and high school acquaintances.. Since I did not know their personality traits, I only recalled them by their physical description, and indeed one had firizzy hair and a mole and the other had a hoarse voice and severe acne . That is not being mean, That is simply a fact. Had you read the illogical and far reaching thought process and personal attacks that angered my fans, of the now grown 3rd grade acquaintance I am sure that you too would have questioned her intelligence as well. And ugly refers to behavior. Pretty is as pretty does just as ugly is as ugly does and these four people exhibited very ugly behavior in my view- hence the ugly adjective.

      Once again I disagree that my blog is political. It is not, nor amI. . I just report what I saw regardless of the person’s party or beliefs and I stand by what I say in that regard.

      I hope that all can heal after this election is over and not harbor ill will towards one another and be so hateful just because of differences of opinion.

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      1. Dr. Glass, let me begin by genuinely, thanking you for taking what I’m certain is your very valuable time to respond to my comment. I am a long time follower of yours, and did not wish to see someone in possession of your remarkable skill and potential stumble over – or God forbid, possibly professionally succumb to – the pressures inherent to your chosen profession. Particularly, in your case, given the celebrity you are presently experiencing. You are a remarkable and gifted young woman, and I wish to see you not so much as dash your foot against a stone in the fruition of your life endeavors and career.

        There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the kind of mean spirited commentary/behavior you speak of on the part of these women was reprehensible and indicative of a flawed/malignant thinking process. No human being should be subjected to such treatment, and it is just as human to find being the target of it repugnant and experience anger and frustration as a result. No one in this world, if they are a compassionate and caring human being, would feel any differently. But, as a trusted professional so adept in your very sensitive, highly influential field, you are accountable only to the litmus test of your own highest standards, mores, and professional ethics. And as long as you keep those standards as impeccably honorable and dignified as humanly possible, vicious and toxic behavior/opinions of that kind will never amount to more than the antagonistic rantings of petulant adults unwilling/unable to interface with others holding opinions differing from their own. Given your professional position and the status you’ve richly earned, such unfortunates will always, sadly, come with the territory.

        You will forever be immune to unhappy souls such as these and the malevolence they exude, though, Dr. Glass, by tenaciously adhering to one very basic philosophy in life – never let down your fair-minded guard over your own personal, highest degree and optimally sustained set of personal and professional ethics, and hold yourself always accountable to them in their purest, most abidingly untainted state. With them as your unwavering guide and your incredible expertise, the good you can bring into this world is limitless. And THAT is the only currency we’re able to carry beyond this world and into the next.

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  4. Our country is contaminated with fear – fear that we have lost our place in the world, fear that we will never regain it, and fear that 9/11, the Great Depression, etc. have happened all over again. Instead of working together to change it, we just seem to want someone to blame.

    For the Right, it’s the Left. For the Left, it’s the Right. In reality, it’s every one if us who contributes to the discourse.

    That child should tell us something. It’s time for the adults to act like adults and accept the burden of solving the problem. If we don’t, who will?

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  5. I ended up unfriending people on facebook due to their political posts. No close friends or relatives, just friendly acquaintances. I didn’t unfriend due to disagreement but due to the inappropriate nature of their posts. For example, one woman wrote about how she hoped Obama would win so she wouldn’t have to “sew up (her) vagina.” Too much information! Another example: a man who picked Romney as the lesser of two evils, because Obama was a “half breed bastard.” Nope, I don’t need that in my facebook newsfeed.

    My husband voted for a different presidential candidate than I did. He wasn’t a jerk about it, though, so we’re still friends. 🙂

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  6. Dr. Lillian Glass, you are SO on point with this! I too, almost became engrossed with the negativity for people who were not affiliated with my political party. My neighbor had a sign of the opposition on his front lawn and for a split second I searched for eggs to yolk his house. I snapped out of it and thought to myself, wait a minute…you are a grown Woman, why would you even attempt to do that? From then on I decided that I was NOT going to allow campaigning get to me. I didn’t discuss the election to anyone. Although all of my family and friends were voting for the same candidate as me, I choose to distance myself from the talk about the discussion and I even eliminated television that discussed the political candidates as well.

    On the other hand, I am so sorry that you were put through so much from those Women. It’s really sad that Grown Women behaved that way. I would have deleted them as well.

    Continue doing what you are doing and I wish you much continued success!

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  7. Mrs.Glass , I’m glad you brought up the frizzy haired girl with the mole on her face, because I was starting to feel those ugly personal attacks was a dam stalker. It was just pure rage and jealousy ! What is wrong with these people ? You know Mrs.Glass , it is true ,you just can’t fix ugly . Some people are just born ugly inside and I’m sure the frizzy hair and mole on her face did not help at all. Sounds like someone needs a makeover inside and out. Sounds like a job for Richard Simmons are beloved work out guru , he seems to have a way

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