The Presidential Election is finally over and President Barack Obama has been elected to a second term. Even though I did an inordinate amount of press for it from numerous Associated Press interviews to appearing on CNBC, to the Daily Show, Good Day LA, Geraldo, Mancow and countless radio shows across the country concerning the body language of the debaters and wrote extensive blogs on the candidates as well, I too share the sentiments of the precious little girl who went viral on youtube who was crying .
She was crying because she was sick of “Bronco Bama and Mitt Rom men nee. “No doubt she was sick of the hatred and ugliness she was hearing on TV or on the radio, or perhaps from her from her parents and others when discussing their candidate.
While I honor that everyone has their own political views, I can assure you that my intention during my national interviews and in my blogs were to never be political.I am not a political person or a political analyst. I just report what I observe from a body language standpoint. That is the truth coming from my own mouth. So when people have commented that I am partisan they are wrong as I support no party and have no agenda.
Even though I repeatedly stated this, several refused to accept that and subsequently spewed forth their own political beliefs via their comments. Many went on a diatribe and leveled personal attacks which were uncalled for.
What was most shocking to me was that the ones who made the most TOXIC comments and leveled the most vitriol were acquaintances whom I barely knew who came out of the woodwork. One such commenter was so hateful and vitriolic that my fans on my facebook page turned against her in my defense. Apparently this woman turned out to be someone whom I hadn’t spoken to since I was 8 years old in the 3rd grade and whom I only remembered as a frizzy haired child with a strange looking mole on her face who liked to color.
While she was certainly free to express her opinions, when she decided to make personal attacks on me , especially after I repeatedly told this obviously not very bright woman based on the illogical thought patterns she expressed and her refusal to accept that my site was not a political site. She continued to make personal attacks until I told her that she was no longer welcome and blocked her from Facebook.
Next, a highly Toxic woman whom I barely knew or spoke to in high school but whom I met decades later as a result of my high school reunion, took it upon herself to defend the now grown up frizzy haired girl who was in my 3rd grade class .These two were obviously friends who shared the same political beliefs. When I tried to once again reassure the Toxic woman whom I was reaquainted with as a result of my high school reunion that my blogs and television and radio appearances were my observations about the candidate’s body language , she too began to unload personal attacks until I blocked her from my Facebook account as well.
She even went to far as telling me that she, and the now grown up frizzy haired girl with whom I hadn’t spoken to since 3rd grade, as well as a third woman- a former high school jock, (whom I hadn’t spoken to since high school) all discussed me and came ot the conclusion that thought that “all my fame went to my head” and that I have turned into a vapid “talking head” on television. With comments like that , it is obvious this Mean Girl is still mentally stuck in high school mode.
But what she intended as a mean cut was a actually a compliment to me as I am indeed officially on the media list as a talking head and I must say that I am proud of it. I should also share with you that this Toxic woman who made this comment is the same woman who contacted me and hit me up for advice about doing a television show as she wanted to appear on camera.
Finally, a fourth woman with whom I had not spoken to since 7th grade gym class whom I only remember as having an unusually deep hoarse voice for a 12 year old and who had a very bad complexion at the time, spewed forth her own vitriol and made personal attacks as she chastised me for briefly mentioning the above incident in a previous blog.
As I saw it, four ugly “Mean Girls’ – one from grade school, one from junior high school, and the two from high school, now grew up and clearly became ugly “Mean Women” in my view.
I certainly am not the only one who has experienced this type of Toxicity. There are a lot of people who turned into “Mean Women” and “Mean Men” who personally attacked others they knew, simply because they thought differently. There was no more “agreeing to disagree” and still maintaining a sense of respect and dignity towards one another.
The vitriol was not only spewed towards remote insignificant acquaintances from the past as in my case, but rather with long time friends, work colleagues, family members, and even spouses.
Many saw other’s choices for a candidate as a reflection of their beliefs and personal issues. Tom, an Obama loving gay man refused to ever speak to his Romney supporting brother Mike, (who by the way was the only one in his family who supported Tom when he came out as being gay). Tom said he could never look at anyone, including his own brother who didn’t support gay marriage like Obama did.
Another man, Ed who was in ill health and supported Obama because of his Obamacare, looked at his Romney supporting former best friend as a traitor who didn’t care about his friend’s heath.They haven’t spoken in months and both never plan to speak again.
And Jane, woman who once had a daughter out of wedlock who’s daughter grew up to become an attorney , will never speak to Lisa, the Obama supporting Godmother to her lawyer daughter, because Jane is understandably, vehemently opposed to abortion.
So when I was listened to a show on NPR (KPPC affiliate) discussing how once close relationships have been destroyed over this election I listened carefully.The show told how families became divided over this election, refusing to speak to one another. One father kicked his son out of the house for not voting for Romney. One man who was interviewed on the show said that while his brother in law can come over he cannot partake and eat his barbecued cooking.
The NPR Affiliate in LA also had another show about how Facebook friends unfriended one another due to political beliefs . They even did a poll on it where they found that people were indeed unfriended others due to their political views and vice versa.
As I listened to the radio show detailing how specific relationships were so easily tossed aside, I thought that perhaps these differences of opinions among so called friends may be an excuse to hang a hat on some true underlying negative feelings about the person.
Perhaps the man who wouldn’t allow his brother in law to eat his barbecued meat really never liked him in the first place. Perhaps the father who kicked his twenty something son out of the house, finally found an excuse to use to stop his freeloading.
Maybe it was the tone of the debates themselves which brought out people’s vitriol towards one another. How can we forget watching the second debate where the two candidates physically looked as though they were in a boxing ring as they circled one another in a threatening looking manner.
Perhaps it was the ugly campaign ads with personal attacks which added fuel to the fire and leaked into our personal relationships with one another. Perhaps it was the last ditch efforts we all saw where PR scavengers like Gloria Alred and Donald Trump were trying to dig up some nastiness and personal dirt on the candidates, which turned out to be a dud in both cases.
Well now that the debates and campaigning have ended, we need to heal. We not only need to heal from the ugly words that infected our eyes and ears throughout this campaign.
We also need to forgive and let go and make attempts to rekindle those once special relationships we have suddenly cast off. Politics is not worth coming between people who once loved and cared deeply about one another . We need to so what we did before the election when our friends and relatives didn’t agree with us and that is to simply “agree to disagree” and not ” throw the baby out with the bath water” or “cut off our nose to spite our face” as the expressions go.