In season five when bachelorette, Jillian Harris chose Ed Swiderski from among all of the other single bachelors, I knew she was making a HUGE mistake. I could tell from his body language throughout the show that he was not he right choice for her.
In fact I discussed his lying behavior and multiple signals of deception in the above article for US Weekly. So, it comes as no surprise to me that this couple has now split up.
If you look at Ed’s body language in this photo, you can see that it is about Ed and not Jillian. He’s looking at the camera directly ahead to get some face time , when he needed to be looking at Jillian during this engagement period. She needed to be the focus here. Also she is also looking away and not up at him, which may also have been a precursor of what has currently transpired in their relationship.
When you see photos of truly happy couples who are newly in love and newly together, they are usually in synch.That means thy are looking in the same direction or they are looking at one another.
Also his flat hand on her back concerned me body language wise , as did where it was positioned. When a hand is positioned on your shoulder or high upper back region it speaks more of friendship than intimacy. Also the fact that it was flat and open fingered and not in a curved caressing position where he would be holding on to her lovingly, also spoke volumes.
The other hand on her waist was also cause for concern. It was as though he was grasping on to some object which was in his hands and not fully holding on to or caressing Jillian’s lower back. He does not hold her tightly with that hand.
His body language, not only in this photo but throughout the show showed signals of selfishness to me, and I assume that this was probably what contributed to their split.
JILLIAN GIVES THE RING BACK TO THE PRODUCERS
It seems that Jillian is the one that gave Ed the heave ho. If she would have hung on there for two years, she could have dumped him and then made a profit by selling the expensive Neil Lane diamond ring. Apparently the contract at the Bachelorette show stipulates that she needed to have stayed engaged for two years in order to keep the ring. So she gave it back to the producers of the show, as she no doubt could not wait out the two years or tolerate him. What was more important to her than the money she could have made off the ring was her emotional well being. I applaud her for that as no amount of money is worth one;s self esteem.
JILLIAN PULLED THE PLUG ONT HE RELATIONSHIP
Her satetment that she released to the press “I love him and I’m really sad, but I have to look out for me,” speaks volumes. It says that he probably wasn’t treating her the way she wanted to be treated.
Ed Swiderski confirms that Jillian wasn’t too happy with him as he is quoted as saying to the press”Jillian isn’t happy and I’m definitely sad about the whole thing, but we’ve got to work through some things on our own if we decide to move forward.”
The only way this couple will be moving forward is in their own separate lives. While they don’t discuss the specifics of why they broke up, we do know that Ed Swiderski juggled two girlfriends while seducing Jillian on the show almost a year ago, last August. He allegedly even got intimate with one of his girlfriends after proposing to Jillian.
While behaviors can and do often change, a person’s character doesn’t change. It’s like their fingerprints. They cannot be changed, It is the blueprint of who they are. And who Ed seems to be based on the Toxic behavior of being sexual with one of his girlfriends after he proposed, shows a TOXIC MAN with a Toxic character.
By the way if you notice that I am using the term “Toxic Man” in my blogs, you are right. I have a brand new book that will be available in bookstores in November 2010 . Is now available to pre- order http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Men-Ways-Identify-Miserable/dp/144050007X
It’s not a book about male bashing by any means. Instead it’s a book about empowering both men and women to identify, deal with and heal from any toxic relationship. Perhaps if Jillian and Ed read the book, they might not be in their present predicament. http://www.drlillianglass.com/