Anita Van der Sloot’s Conflicting Body Language Indicates Anger at Joran, Victim Like Helplessness, And Denial, As She Continues To Make Excuses For Joran While Cutting Him Out of Her Life


While Joran may have left his mother Anita  a note that he was leaving for Peru, perhaps what he allegedly said  in that note may  be wishful thinking on the part of Anita van der Sloot.

She gives a seemingly embellished story when she says “Joran left me a note.” As she says.  this she brushes off her leg it looks like she is brushing something off. This is usually a signal of deception.

She then  looks down and licks her lips indicating  two other  signals  deception as she recites  that the note says “ Mommy I love you but I, I (repetition of the word I which is another signal of deception )  don’t wanna go to the Netherlands. She then looks way which is yet anothersignal of deception.

She then says, using  a strong voice which does ring true “ I am invited to gamble  in Peru and  I can make money there. But then her voice wanes as she goes on with something that doesn’t make much sense as she adds that Joran’s note says  and  I wanna stay there far  away as no body knows me there. I wanna think I what I wanna do with my life?”

Right after she says this she cocks her head as though she is questioning what he has just said- another signal of deception. I seriously doubt Joran wrote those exact words “I wanna stay there far away nobody knows me there. That doesn’t sound like something someone would write in a note as does I wanna think what to do with my life.

Those are very serious decisions- to stay in Peru and to go away and decide what to do with his life. Why would he write that in a little note instead of  discussing these important life changing decisions verbally with is mother. Also her stating that Joran was there to stay in Peru as opposed to other Latin American countries does not ring true either. He went there for a Poker tournament, not to stay there and build a life. He also  went to Columbia and Chile and was on his way to Argentina.So I don’t buy  it that he was going to  to build a life in Peru where no one knew him. It doesn’t make sense, especially since he is not all that fluent in Spanish.

The fact that he wrote it instead of communicating it   to her verbally shows what a strained relationship they must have had. Also since her interview  was done for Dutch TV and since she said she trusts them so much, why didn’t she produce that note that Joran wrote in order to show everyone exactly what he wrote?

She then  looks down and purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders- all three  all signals of deception as  her body language and facial expression do not match her feelings she is attempting to express. Then she makes a loud” tsking” or smacking sound with her tongue, followed by silence.

She says I was angry. She knits her brow together and juts her jaw forward indicating that she was indeed angry with Joran.

She says ” I was ready for Joran to eh   follow a path where they could help him dealing with his eh  (looks away) em his gambling addiction and if there was a personality disorder which could be very good possible.” She she looks down and blinks a lot as she says this.

Her body language tells make me wonder if she really did send him tot he Netherlands and if  he was planning to go there ,  or if this is all Anita’s  spin to not make Joran look like  a monster.

If you are going to a clinic for a gambling addiction, you mention only  that and don’t add in his  personality disorder, unless  you know one exists. There is no doubt that Anita did know that Joran had some type of psychological problem as he was apparently seeing a therapist in his teen years. Apparently he was sent to a therapist by his parents. According to an interview  which Joran gave to the Aruban police when he was a teen, given after Natalie’s was found missing, Joran admitted he had been sent to a psychiatrist for stealing 50 euros  from his father and for his violence towards his brother.

While Jorn has told many lies in his past, I believe that his telling about seeing a psychiatrist was one of the few times that he was telling the truth.


After Anita recounts that  she found out Stefany was murdered and says that it could not have been Joran,  her facial expression is not what one would expect. She smiles as you see above.

At first she recites what she heard  in a very low and labored tone. As she speaks she  turns her whole body and face away as literally to not face this disaster she is revealing.

She says “ I heard  was a girl found n the Tac hotel in the room of Joran. Her  Inflection goes up as she says em murdered grually em with a  knife , blood everywhere etc. (why would someone say etc.?) They would say etc as a  means of detachment. Anita was clearly trying to detach herself from the horror  of the incident as she  further visualized what he son did to  poor Stefany. Knowing this was too much for her to bear emotionally. The fact that Anita spoke in a  monotone also conformed her emotional detachment.

As Anita says the words there was blood everywhere,she looks away and turns her head to face way from the interviewer. It is as though she is unable to face this horrific visual scene as she has a serious and devastated look on her face as you can see above.

But  then what she does seems rather odd. She begins to smile as she says “And I thought no no this cannot be. No way.Her smile is a not a happy smile but rather a nervous smile. It is a that lasts five seconds.  It may also be a  smile of relief that Joran was finally  caught for  all of his past and present his misdeeds. She then shrugs her shoulders.

We know that a shoulder shrug is often associated wih a person not telling the truth. When Anita  said the words” No way” referring to the fact that there was no way Joran could have committed this brutal act, she was not telling the truth. In her mind,she may have  very well known that Joran was capable of doing such a horrific thing based on his past violence and personality disorder which she referred to earlier in the interview.

She then says she says I was I was was completely shut ” while  clasping  her hands together as if  and then  brushing  her palms   as though she was symbolically brushing Joran off and eliminating  from her life.

Then she crosses her chest with her   with her arms  over lapping one another as if to protect herself. She then  describes how she was  completely shut down emotionally .

Then she pushes her hands out as if she is literally pushing Joran  away from her.

As she describes her phone call with Joran when he was calling her from the taxi during his escape into Chile, her body language appears to be  in synch with her emotional state. Here we see Anita making very frantic  gestures with her hands as she relates how she implored her son to   turn himself in and go to police after she described how he was crying to her.

Then Anita changes her tune and says that she thought it was all a set up because it was exactly five years to the day “that Natalie death happened and now this with Stefany  Flores  happened.” The fact that she mentioned the two girl by  name indicates that she has  respect for them as she  realized the gravity of the situation and her son’s involvement  .  As Anita mentions  Stefany’s name, she turns away as to symbolically turn away from Joran and what he did.  Her speaking in a very matter of fact  unemotional tone shows that she hasn’t fully come to terms with everything from an emotional standpoint.


Anita showed compassion when she said she immediately thought of the parents. Then she added that she  too identified as she lost a son. She then said she hoped  Joran can speak to the parents of  Stefany Flores and in a normal way tell them what happened.

But as she says this, there is a  tinge of anger in her tone as she  knows there will be no normal way for Joran speak to her parents .  So she says “And I apologize  for them that he is my son. ” She looks down in embarrassment as she makes this statement, indicting body language-wise that she is   truly embarrassed that Joran was her son.

But then  she attempts to modify what she said  by revealing ”  He’s, not a monster.” She says this with a   questioning  look as her inflection goes up as if asking a question, perhaps wondering if Joran really is a monster.

In trying to erase this thought from her mind, she  further tries to mollify her shame and embarrassment of Joran by explaining that “ he can be  very gentle,” Then she she rolls  her head from side to side and shrugs  her shoulders as she continues to offer up further excuses fro Joran’s egregious acts by saying ”  it could be that he  has a bipolar em personality.”
She is slightly teary  eyed  as she says this yet she is angry as indicated by her pursed lips and jaw jutted forward.

She then leans away and places  her hands in front of herself ,   interlocking her  fingers like a closed gate. In doing so she is    indicating that there is no way she will ever change the words  she has said ”  I will not visit Joran  in Peru. I don’t have any feeling that it  can add up to anything. I want to keep distance .I think it will bring emotions up that I am not ready for. ”

I think that Anita is wise to stay away from Joran as who knows what would happen to her if they were alone together in his cell in Peru. Based on his psychological reports Joran does not value the female role and has disrespect for women, Thus, there is no doubt that he disrespects his mother. Based on how violent his killing was of Stefany and what he probably did to Natalie, he harbors  a lot of rage towards women including   his mother. Therefore, her own life may be in jeopardy if she is face to face with her son.

She tries to justly her actions  of refusing to see her son by saying she is not a police officer, she is a  a mom.  What she is saying is that she wants the police  officers to handle him because as a mom she is helpless. She  goes  on to say of he is involved, then he needs to be punished by the police.


Anita definitely has mercurial feelings whne it comes to Joran. On the one hand she sees what Joran has done and wants hiom punished fro his actions.. But on the other breath she continues to make excuses  for Joraan by  saying that “he was chased five years;”

She ratonalizes that this is what caused this  as she blame “people stared at him everywhere he went. ”

Maybe if Joran would have come clean and not toyed with the Holloway family, people would not have  have stared at him. Maybe if he would have completed his studies or gone on to  a respectable profession instead of being engaged in the trafficking of prostitutes in Thailand people wouldn’t have stared at him. Maybe if he would have dedicated his time and energies to a more worthwhile and charitable cause instead of playing poker, people wouldn’ t have stared at him.  Perhaps if he got the psychological help he needed, he would have been better able to cope if anyone did happen to stare at him. In reality, how could people avoid staring at someone like Joran who was a striking looking at 6 foot 3 inches tall.

Anita continued on in defending Joran by saying ,”They bothered him and there as no place he was safe.”


We see Anita’s thought yo yoing  as she says ” I belive in karma. If you do things you shouldn’t do a lot of shit happens to you.” It was interesting how Anita used such a crude word when she knew she was being televised. Perhaps that was the only words she could use to describe her son’s predicament.

Ti use Anita’s word,  a lot of shit happened to Anita as well as Joran. It happened to her because she didn’t handle her out of control son with enough tough love. She made  too many excuses for him like  she is doing now.

But then she goes backtracks as she blames  Joran for not listening to his parents. But his parents needed to have set down some firm laws so their teenage son at the time was not in casinos gambling.

Anita then says ” He didn’t listen to me . and then hesitates and finally continues with ”  this last time .” I have no doubt that Joran didn’t listen to Anita anytime.  In making such a  statement Anita is trying to defend herself, She does so by adding ”  I tried to do my best I don’t think I could have done more.. ”  Of course she could have done more  early on in Joran’s teen years. But she is right that she could not have done more now . It is too late.

One of the most disturbing aspects of  Anita’s interview was that she was making excuses for not  talking to Beth Twitty and blaming the fact that she was being shielded  by the media.  That is an excuse  because if Anita wanted to get to Beth she could have reached out to her somehow during these five years.As Anita says this she  looks down and shrugs her shoulder. This body language gesture indicates that  what Anita is saying about not being able to get to Beth is not true.

What is absolutely true based on her  angry and distanced  body language is that there is no longer any relationship between Anita and her son Joran.


9 thoughts on “Anita Van der Sloot’s Conflicting Body Language Indicates Anger at Joran, Victim Like Helplessness, And Denial, As She Continues To Make Excuses For Joran While Cutting Him Out of Her Life

  1. Oh I’m glad you did an analysis of Anita. I have great sympathy for her. I have a feeling that no-one could have handled Joran however, she should not blame herself that he is her son. I’m glad it’s true that she has disowned him as I think she should. RIP Natalee and Stefany.


  2. My first impression while watching this interview was that she was ashamed of the reflection Joran was casting upon her. Personally, I think his mother is a bit of a narcissist and has not been close with her son for some time.

    His disrespect for women may actually reflect his feelings for the distance he has felt from his own mother for many years. I sense quite a bit of anger and resentment from both of them. I would be interested to know more about the relationship between the father and all of the sons, too.

    Body language is sooo cool!!


  3. I don’t think I feel any sympathy or remorse for Anita van der Sloot. The way she treated Beth Holloway, as she searched for her beloved daughter, Natalee, disgusted me. As mother to mother, Anita was so cold and uncaring towards Beth and Natalee. Even as a human being, nothing from her.

    I do not recall if she even had any kind words for Stephany, or her family. Her first response was, oh they set him up. Seriously, murder Stephany, and innocent woman, just to frame your monster son, Joran?

    She better be careful, because it won’t be too long, before he says his mother abused him, and that’s why he has such hatred and disrespect for women.

    He is a coward. Put him up against a man, and he will cry like a little baby. After all, how hard is it to over power woman and children? Real men do not abuse or hurt women or children. He is not a man, he is a big chooch, who has never ever had to take any responsibililty for any of his actions. Now his father is not on this earth, any longer to cover up for him.

    He will never get out of Peru. He has some nerve, trying to barter, by saying if they release him, to the Netherlands, he will tell where Natalee is. He has 5 years to do this. He murdered Stephany, in such a cruel, horrible way, and thought if he confessed, they would just say, thank you, and let him go.

    He is in for a rude awakening. He does not even deserve the private hole in the ground he has to use as a commode.


  4. Anita is playing everybody and collects money for interviews – she is broke and she will be sending money to her murderer son so he is protected. I don’t feel sorry for her or her deceased husband (also involved in the murder of Natalee). The whole family is sick in the head and need help.


  5. Hey, anyone that has just a little sense knows Joran has been sit up. Nothing makes sense,remember the hotel maid said she saw Stephanie with a dark blue shirt on not a long sleeve beige shirt.Where is the so called DNA under the nails at, this all stinks to me.They dont have a tape of joran going to get coffee ,but they do have one of him coming back with coffee.I think he came back an find her dead, or thought she was.I think this is sit up!!!


  6. I am an American mom married to a retired teacher. I too wanted to find Natalee but I never wanted to brutalize a seventeen year old and his family. I understand the American police were convinced her death was caused by alcohol poisoning. Why did her mother completely disregard this? I understand he was an honor’s student with no police record – why was this disregarded but what an old girlfriend might have said treated as gold? It’s very hard to believe Joran would have thrown his life and works away that night in Aruba – I can believe a seventeen year old boy would have tried to shield his dad (a judge in training) by disposing of the body of a girl who had died while with him. My great,great-grandmother was buried at sea after dying en route from Ireland – there’s worst scenarios. I saw him acting cocky – I’ve never seen any seventeen year old not act cocky from time to time especially when being bullied. I also saw pictures of him brokenhearted after his dad’s death. I saw him with supposed sex trade dealers – I also can imagine him trying frantically to allow Natalee’s mom to believe her daughter was still alive hoping to give his family a moments peace. It’s now obvious how very terrified the family was. Because of facts, common sense, and logic I have to say I do have reasonable doubt Joran was involved in the death of Miss Halloway. Having said this, I have to believe Joran’s dad died because of the extreme pressure caused by Natalee’s mom and her influence on the media. I have strong reason to believe the event that occurred in Peru was an act of insanity caused by grief and panic. I believe Joran is owed this much … close, intense observation by an unbiased psychiatrist and being allowed to form a friendship with someone he can trust, perhaps a young priest. My prayers are with Joran and his family always ….


  7. I do have sympathy for Anita (Joran’s mom). It must be so heartbreaking. When all the Holloway thing was going on – Joran seemed so fond of his mother and had his arm draped over her shoulder and would pat and squeeze her shoulder. It seemed to me that he and his father pretty much ignored one another. I never saw a handshake or hug between the two of them. It appears to me that this has been a very disfunctional family. Does anyone know how old his sibling(s) are? He supposedly had his own apartment at the residence due to abusing his brother(s).


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