Joran Van der Sloot Lies and Manipulates Ex- Girlfriend Who Faces the Reality of Joran While His Mother Anita Still Remains in Denial


What was most evident about Joran Van der Sloot’s  ex girlfriend Melody Grandillo ’s body language on ABC’s 20/20 was her nervous laughter. She wasn’t smiling and laughing because she was happy. Instead, she was laughing because she was uncomfortable with her conflicted feelings.

The reason I say it was nervous laughter is because the laugh didn’t last that long. Within seconds, she soon transitioned into a serious facial expression, as she  continued to discuss Joran.

She showed body language signals that she was conflicted. On one level she had tender feelings towards her first love who wrote and told her beautiful words like her eyes being more beautiful than the stars in the sky

Her genuine smiles and tender tones indicated that she clearly had very found memories and feelings about a teenaged Joran who spoke about wanting to marry her.

On the other level, was the grim realization that Joran may have killed a young  woman who was born on the same day and in the same year as she was born-  Natalie Holloway. There was realization that he actually murdered   a young woman- Stefany Flores, who in Medody’s own words,  resembled her.


In her diary which she shared with 20/20. Melody  reveals early signals of Joran’s sociopathy- his manipulation of her by saying exactly what she wanted to hear.

No doubt the early teenaged Joran learned that poetic and loving words could be used to manipulate his girlfriend sexually. Perhaps he thought that if he spoke of marriage and a future  commitment together, Melody  would be more amenable towards having sex with him.

And then there was his lying to her about his  cheating, which he did  with many other young women. Then there was her revelation of his  “not letting her go” until she believed him. He also let it be known to her how he was the victim when things went wrong.

After listening to Melody, it is evident that Joran’s aberrant behavior patterns and disrespect towards women began early on and were readily seen in his teen years.


Based on  looking at how Melody presented  herself during the interview, she  seems like a very sweet person with a lot of caring and compassion.

No doubt, Joran picked up on this as well. In a compassionate moment Melody’s may have reached out to Joran when the Natalie Holloway incident occurred and provided him with emotional support. After all, she only experienced a loving side. She definateky repressed the side of him when he was lying and cheating on her.

But now. Joran was there to take advantage of her compassion and her seemingly compliant nature.  That is why he tried to manipulate her by telling her how he couldn’t get back to Aruba unless she helped him out with his $520 ticket. He  even texted her to send him $200.

He texts her:

“ I have some cash with me so I am fine Just lost the bank card and the ticket.  l would have liked to have been back today but the ticket is $520 but can’t do much about it such bad luck  sometimes.”

Melody was knew she was being manipulated  by  him as she said to Chris Cuomo in her 20/20 interviwe  that she didn’t send him the money because she knew it would be spent on gambling.

When Joran  realized he wasn’t getting any money from Melody,  he went after Stefany Flores, who ironically  resembled Melody.

Perhaps he was also collapsing his deep anger towards Melody on to Stefany. Perhaps for the first time in their knowing one another,  Melody did not do what he wanted by sending him money. So his intense  anger towards Melody was unleashed on to Stefany . He saw Stefany winning at the tables and looked at her as an easy financial mark and as a sexual mark as well.

We know from Melody’s diaries that she said he” wouldn’t let her go” unless Melody did what he wanted- believe him that he was innocent and not cheating on her.

It stands to reason that he would have done the same with Stefany. He even remarked in his confession that Stefany tried to leave and he wouldn’t let her do so. She wouldn’t do what he wanted her to do- most likely  have sex with him. So he killed her, took her money and ran.

I have no doubt that is what he did with Natlaie Holloway as well. This young virgin may not have wanted to go all the way with him sexually and didn’t do what he wanted her to do. So  he may have possibly choked the life out of  her  in anger like he did with Stefany. The intensity of Stefany’s injuries show extreme rage and hatred. It was bad enough that he broker her nose and choked her, but to also smother her with his shirt speaks to that intense range that perhaps he was also harboring towards Melody.


Joran is no stranger to violence as we hear from his own accounts in  an Aruban  police interview when questioned about Natalie Holloway. In that interview,  he stated that he was under the care of a psychiatrist .He stated that his parents sent him to a psychiatrist for stealing 50 eros from his father.

He also that he mentioned he had a history of violence in beating up his brother.

So obviously his mother Anita and father Paulus  knew that Joran was full of problems or they  would not have sent him to a psychiatrist when he was a teen.


As we read Anita van der Sloot’s recent text message to Joran’s ex girlfriend Melody, we see where Joran gets his victim attitude, his blaming, and denial skills. He gets them from mother Anita.

Anita texts Melody:

“I am not giving interviews to any American media station because I don’t trust them. Stay safe and pray for Joran. He is not the monster they like the world to see. He is traumatized, depressed an has an addiction. He is not a murderer. It stinks and feels like a big trap set up for him

Notice that she does the same thing as Joran does in blaming others – especially the press for his woes. Note her excuses for her son’s egregious behavior- that he is merely depressed and has an addiction.

Lot’s of people in the world are depressed and have addictions and do not murder others. She blames others for setting up a trap for him. She doesn’t  put any of the blame on him.


In her interview with a Dutch newspaper the Telegraaf, she continues to make excuses for her son by stating the he is “ ‘sick in his head’ and was due to be admitted to a psychiatric unit before he went to Peru. She said that “Joran fled to Peru to avoid being admitted to a closed unit in a psychiatric hospital in the Netherlands”.

Specifically, she is quoted in the newspaper as saying ‘He had agreed to be admitted. Two days before he was due to leave for the Netherlands, he left the house. All he left was a note on the kitchen table.” The paper said that the note told her not to worry and he had gone to Peru for a poker tournament, she said.

She also said that she spoke to Joran shortly before he fled to Chile and he sounded very paranoid. He felt he was being ‘followed and looked at.’

She goes on to say that  Joran had been very affected by his father’s death earlier this year and felt he was responsible.

Joran has run rough shod over his enabling mother doing what he wants to do not what he is supposed to do- go to a Poker tournament in Peru instead of going to a mental hospital.

Instead of being upset that her son didn’t do what he was supposed to d-,check into the hospital, she defends his actions by saying how the poor dear boy was affected by his father’s death and how he has a mental issue.

She vehemently defended him during the Natalie Holloway days and continues to do the same thing now.


Joran’s anger issues with women-  may have a lot to do with his relationship with his mother. Based on her  recent comments where Joran doesn’t even speak to her directly but instead, leaves a note on the kitchen table that he is going to a  Poker tournament in Peru as opposed to checking into a mental facility, speaks volumes.

It shows that there is a lack of respect  for his mother, not to mention a lack of communication between the two.

Maybe Anita learned early on to let Joran do as he pleased, because he was too much to handle. Maybe she experienced his violence first hand . Maybe she felt it was easier to let him do what he wanted and to to acquiesce to his whims,  and not fight with him and experience his wrath.

So, she  may have always turned a blind eye to his escapades. She and his father put up gambling funds for him to visit the casinos when he was a mere teenager. Maybe they felt it was easier to do that as opposed to experiencing his violent temper outbursts when he didn’t get his way.

In any event, neither her enabling actions or those of his father helped Joran as he entered adulthood. They never gave him any boundaries or tough love.

It was not just his parents who suffered his wrath if they didn’t do what he wanted them to do. Now,  if  anyone didn’t do what he wanted – he most likely let them have it.In fact many of his fellow classmates reported that he was a bully at school.

Maybe that is why one of the  Aruban brother’s,  Deepak  Kalpoe was at his disposal whenever Joran wanted a ride somewhere, no matter what time of night it was.  Maybe Deepak  felt bullied by Joran to do or say  what he wanted him to do or else. Deepak was so tied to Joran that he even lied for him saying that he dropped Natalie off at the Holiday Inn.

So when anyone especially the two women last seen by him didn’t do what he wanted, he no doubt,  bullied them. When they continued to refuse him or fought back, his violence clicked in and he ended up killing them.

It is understandable that Anita doesn’t want to admit that her son is  a murderer. That is too painful and understandably so. With that pain would come the awareness that her own enabling behavior and lack of boundaries  may have contributed to her son’s demise. So that may be why she continues to blame others and claim his innocence.


Ever since Joran was arrested,  there were reports that Anita was on a plane  headed towards Peru? But, two weeks later there is still no Anita. There was one report that she would be arriving with a Dutch television station, but that has yet to happen.

Anita can defend him all she wants in the press and blame the American’s and blame others for setting a trap for him, the fact that she has yet to show up in Peru to see him yet,  speaks volumes.

Monday Joran will have a trial or sorts  in Lima. He will be interviewed in great detail by the judge. One would think that his mother would be there for moral support, but she will most likely not be  there. Despite her defense of her son, maybe reality is slowly sinking in that she spawned an out of control  monster with a huge violent streak who hates women.


5 thoughts on “Joran Van der Sloot Lies and Manipulates Ex- Girlfriend Who Faces the Reality of Joran While His Mother Anita Still Remains in Denial

  1. I always enjoy reading your blog, great job.

    What do you think of the Kyron Horman case and his stepmother’s body language?


  2. Interesting post! I saw the 20/20 interview and quietly cheered when Melody wouldn’t send Joran money. The young lady has learned early in life about what makes a toxic relationship. Her compassionate side needs to be tempered with being cautious. I hope that she finds a trustworthy man to live her life with.

    Count me in on asking you for an analysis of Kyron’s stepmother’s body language at the presser!


  3. Wow, this is exactly what I was going to ask you Dr. Glass if you could please fill us in on Kyron’s stepmother’s body language. My heart breaks for that little boy.

    Thank you in advance.


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