Octomom’s Body Language on Oprah Shows Denial, Misguided Perception, and a Cry For Help While Oprah’s Body Language Showed Disgust

Days later, I am still  haunted by Oprah’s “Day In the Life of Nadya Suleman.” In observing Nadya’s body language, I can clearly say that this woman is misguided and disconnected from the reality of her very serious  situation. With her inappropriate laughter, at one extreme, and on the other extreme with  her deadpan lack of appropriate facial animation and expression, monotone, meaningless mea culpa  filled with self deprecation,  and her  misguided  and unrealistic views, there is no question that Nadya is in need of some serious help.


 Nadya said that  her intention in appearing on Oprah because she was sick and tired of people having the wrong idea about her.  So she wrote to Oprah to have her on the show and Oprah obliged, albeit unwillingly, based on Oprah’s body language.

Oprah, was clearly not too keen about having  Nadya on her show  and it  showed  in . Oprah’s uncharacteristic stiffness, lack of smiling, tenseness in her face  and a turned –off vocal tone, showing disgust.

 Oprah Winfrey even  said on  the show  that she  “had reservations” about interviewing Nadya Suleman, That is why she  initially  refused to  join in on the Octomom media frenzy,  until she received  a letter from Nadya  telling her how she wanted the world “to see her for who she is.”


 If you are not  promoting a book , a TV show , a  product,, or some charitable cause, why  go on Oprah?  While Nadya says her intention for going on the show was to set the record straight, I think that it may have been a lot more calculated on Suleman’s part.

 Perhaps she thought that by going on Oprah, she could  play the victim role , with the hope of  Oprah bailing  her out of her mess, like Oprah has done for so many of her guests in need throughout the years.

 Oprah has been known to give away houses, college educations, seed money to start  businesses,  pay mortgages, and buy cars for previous guests .

 So, perhaps Nadya thought why not go on Oprah and allow her to film her life with her children. This way,  Oprah could see what a difficult time Nadya was having  with all her chaos and perhaps  Oprah would now provide her with more nannies, a bigger home, pay off her mortgage, provide a trust fund for all the kids for a college education, or all of the above.

 But by the tone of  Oprah’s voice and the direction of her questioning, along with the  regular flashes of  a disgusted  facial expression, Oprah was  having none of it.

She clearly let Nadya know that Nadya and her brood were on their own, sans Oprah’s help.

 At the end of the show Oprah offered  up nothing to Nadaya except for wishing her  well in an uncharacteristically  non- Oprah-like  unenthusiastic tone..


While many would say that Nadya’s  appearance on Oprah  brought in a larger viewership that day and for that alone, Oprah should have rewarded Nadya with a little something like paying off her  mortgage so that Nadya and her kids would have a roof over their heads and their home wouldn’t  go into foreclosure.

 But  after watching Oprah for decades, this is not how Oprah works. Oprah is all about empowering people and helping those who try to help themselves. She doesn’t give them the fish. Instead she gives them the fishing pole so that they can be empowered to do things on their own.

 After listening to Oprah’s questioning  of Nadya,  you could see Oprah getting more tense body language wise and more angry facial language and vocal wise because  she soon discovered that talking to Nadya was like talking to a wall.

Nadya  had no intention of helping herself.  For example, Nadya was insistent  that she would NEVER  ever put her kids on television . She even remarked that it was “boarderlinbe abuise.”

Oprah then probed  further asking Nadya if  someday will she feel  forced to put her kids on TV to  earn money so they can survive, Nadya was adamant that she would never do it. Case closed!

 Nadya then went on to say that she did appear on the cover of a magazine in a bikini but that is not who she is and that when the money runs out from that media gig,  she doesn’t know how she will survive.

 Nadya’s answer  it appears was  a clear ploy to get Oprah to feel sorry for her as a person who had “:no way out.” It was as though  she was waiting for Oprah to   say. “ Oh poor Nadya. Here is some  money so now all your problems will go away.”

But Oprah did nothing of the sort. Instead Oprah  probed  deeper with her questioning and Nadya was even more adamant that she would not put her kids in the media.


 Nadya’s  stubbornness at not wanting  her kids on TV and her hypocrisy of  having  posed bikini-clad  for photos for money  to feed her kids  turned views off..  This, along with her  now actually having her kids filmed   on TV  showing  them in a  day in her life  reeked of hypocrisy and contradiction.


 I have no doubt that Oprah could have helped   if  Nadya would have only  shown signs of wanting to help  herself. When Oprah openly asked her that if someday, wouldn’t she feel that she might have to put her kids on TV, Nadya barely let Oprah get the question out  as she chimed in that she was  appalled  at the suggestion, calling it “ boarderline abuse.”

As Oprah  asked  that question I could see the wheels turning in Oprah’s mind .  Oprah is the most powerful woman in the television world with her OWN television  network incidentally   called OWN (Oprah Winfrey  Network) . Oprah could have  easily given  Nadya a prime time show  like TLC did with Jon and  Kate plus 8 where we watched these multiples grow up. The show could have provided  Nadya with  more nannies and  more financial help  to address the children’s needs.

 If  Oprah was behind Nadya’s show .Oprah would have NEVER abused any children  by having them filmed for their own show. There is no doubt in my mind that she would have abided by the  strict child labor laws ,

 Oprah could have definitely helped Nadya in a legitimate way. But Nadya was too unaware and disconnected to the reality of her situation   allow Oprah to help.

 Oprah didn’t offer her the fish.  Instead,.  though her line of questioning , Oprah was no doubt was offering Nadya the fishing pole,  with the opportunity to do a show so she could support her kids.

But as  soon as Oprah head the words “boarderline abus” e the wheels stopped turning in her mind as  to how she could help Nadya get out of her dire financial  situation. Oprah was done!


 Nadya’s  misguided perception of  putting her kids on TV is not abuse , especially if  Oprah was involved in doing a show with her. As long as there were proper things in place like the  number  hours they could be filmed, having medical help on hand, having psychologists the team available, having educators on hand, there would not be abuse.


 Abuse is what we saw on  TV in watching the day in Nadya’s life . Neglect is abuse and those kids are clearly neglected emotionally.  She knows it and even mentioned that she feels guilty she cannot give them enough attention  or supervision.


 The little baby with the ear infection, needed immediate attention STAT . He needed to be taken to the emergency room immediately and not  have to wait until Nadya made a call to get someone to help. That baby did not have to suffer in pain until Nadya’s helper got out of bed in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, got dressed, got in their car,  to  arrive at  her house to get the baby to put him in her car , to buckle him into a baby car seat, and finally  drive him to the ER.

 Instead, Nadya  needed to have someone on hand right then and then to grab the child and take him to the ET immediately so there would be less time that the child had to suffer in agony.


 The woman is  so overwhelmed and sleep deprived , that she  and not able to give each child  the correct  supervision. There are not enough nannies to go around during the day with only three nannies for 14 children. That is one nanny for 5 children.

The fact that there are  NO nannies at night, is appalling . Oprah was even appalled any this and  told Nadya  she needed night nannies.

 How can Nadya  Not have  nannies  at night? It is a MUST!

  Night time is when children need can  need help the most,. This is the time  when they  often get scared and cry or something often  goes wrong with them  health wise. The fact that these babies are  left crying all night long   with no one to comfort them , I find this highly abusive and  unconscionable.

 There are thousands of  reputable and decent  people  out there who would love to volunteer for a night shift to hold and care for any of those crying babies.


 If it wasn’t for the Oprah camera crew,  who knows what would have happened  to the baby who was stepped on by their older sibling!. Who knows what damage was done to that child.! That was only one incident that we saw when there were camera filming the children..

One can only imagine what else goes on in that household when there are no cameras..


 Seeing  the baby with the  open cleft lip at that age disturbed me  greatly. Having spent a lot of my early career working with patients who had facial deformities, I know a lot about people who are born with cleft lips and palates.

 I know that  surgery is usually performed during the first 3 to 6 months to repair  a cleft lip and between 9 and 14 months to repair the cleft palate. . This baby apparently only has a cleft lip. That lip should have been repaired at least 6 months ago,

 To allow this child to live with a gaping split in his lip where it will make his eating, swallowing,  and speech and language development problematic as he grows is abuse in  my book. It is unconscionable to not  repair the child’s cleft and to have let it go untreated for so long a period



WE all know that  most parents of babies rarely get a good night’s sleep. But when a human being ONLY gets 2 hours of sleep a night and that situation has been going on for over a year, this is very bad.It is not only bad for the parent but very bad for the child.


There have been enough studies in the literature throughout  the years  concerning  sleep deprivation  and what happens to a person if they have no slept for long periods of time, The bottom line is that they cannot function properly. They cannot make the right decisions, Their  perceptions are distorted, Their physical coordination and reaction time is impaired. They become less emotionally stable and more emotionally labile..

 With Nadya  getting a reported 2 hours of sleep per night, it is no wonder that her perceptions are distorted .How can she properly  care for all of these children if her perceptions are misguided and she doesn’t think clearly?  She could make a lot of mistakes in terms of how she cares for these children thereby endangering their welfare..



Nadya  mentioned several times how her 8 year old boy acts up and how he is more of a handful than her 8 babies. Maybe he acts up because he needs the attention. Maybe he acts up because  he is troubled.

 Whatever the case,  the fact that this boy is acting up needs to be immediately  addressed by a professional. By neglecting  and not getting this boy proper help in the form of a therapist or counselor she is doing him a huge  disservice.


Nadya has all the right words and  says all the right things to show us she has  psychological  insight with regard to what she has irresponsibly and irrevocably done.

She says  the 14 children came from “my own childish desires.” She says shew as “selfish and immature.”

As she self deprecates in telling us how bad and dumb she was to do this , she offers up no solutions for her problem.

Her monotone indicates that she has robotically discovered that it is  much easier to agree with what the public thinks of her than to argue with them as she did early on when she appeared on the Dr. Phil show fighting with her mother. .

All of this is manipulation in my view. Her agreement  with public sentiment is a way of shutting them up. What more can you say when you point the finger at someone and they in turn, point the finger at themselves in agreement  that they were wrong?  You can say nothing!

So  now that she has shut people up by agreeing with them, she can now play the victim role and to the hilt and tell them how bad off she is in hopes that they will  now help out. After all, she agrees with them as to what a bad thing she did.


Nadya  tries to get you to feel sorry for her as she tries to justify her actions for accepting $100,000 for a bikini photo shoot in a  magazine by appeasing  any detractors and saying she feels “a tremendous amount of guilt”  There is no  doubt in my mind that she LOVED IT!!

Personally I have spoken to many limo drivers who have chauffeured Nadya back and forth to her many media gigs and they  ALL tell me she LOVES all  the attention.

Even though she tries to paint herself as this prim and proper innocent woman who just made a mistake because she loves kids so much, she no doubt  LOVES  that she  has  been offered a role in a porn film “three times. ” While she  says she found  being offered these film roles  “disrespectful,”there is no doubt in my mind that it flattered her very fragile ego.


Nadya’s immaculate makeup, manicured fingernails, low cut tee shirts, figure hugging dresses, and short skirts  not only scream for attention but scream that she wants to be seen a sexy. What better validation for your sexiness than to have a porn company offer you a film deal!


Pushing  awkward  multiple  giant strollers to go to to a public park for a few minutes of playtime with the kids  is bound to get anyone to look at you., l et alone the paparazzi..

That is exactly why Nadya does it. She  no doubt LOVES the papps and loves the  public attention. It is what fuels her.

She does not hate the papps as she says. According to my sources, . she has even contacted them to let them know of her whereabouts so that they can  film her.


When we saw  Nada in a  day in her life on Oprah talking to her eldest child who didnt want to go to school and told him that  it was illegal for him not to go to school. She also said  that  and if he didn’t go to school social services would come and take him away  or disrupt he family/

As we heard Nadya tell this to her little boy, it was clear to see that Social Services is in the forefront of Nadya’s mind.

There is no doubt that they are watching her like a hawk and waiting for some major slip up, so that they can  to intervene,

When Oprah asked her if she would consider giving the kids to foster families to help take care of them, Nadya  adamantly  refused to consider the thought and said she would do anything  in her power  to make sure this never happened. But it may very well happen.

The ONLY way this will never happen is if she earns  enough money to properly support these kids, get more nannies and more help  for the kids, so that all of their immediate needs can be addressed.

She needs to have more time to sleep so that she can function properly. She needs to stop living in the illusion that she will find some work out there to support her family that isn’t media related. It will NEVER  happen. Who will hire her? She cannot start a business of her own and take care of this family. There is only one solution.



The only way Nada cn earn enough money for her kids and still be with her kids is if she puts her  them on TV so that we can all watch them grow up. As far as abuse and exploitation, if  child labor laws are followed and there is a therapist on hand at all times I foresee that this can be a win- win situation for all.

Say what you will about Kate Gosselin,, she never has to worry about having enough  money for her kids. She may have to worry about other things like their psychological health. But she will at least have enough money to afford therapists for them in the future if and when they need one.

Love her or hate her, Kate has taken advantage of her situation and  made a cottage industry out of her sextuplets  as they are cared for financially, They will never starve to death  and they have enough money in their trust funds to attend college if they choose to do so.’

This cannot be said for Nadya’s kids. People will continue to  notice them and know who they are just because  Nadya  is their mother ,. Her excuse at wanting to givev them a normal life is naive. There is no way they will ever have a normal life based on their circumstances.

So in order to give them a better life, why not share them with the public and afford them opportunities they could never have?  The one thing ,Kate Gosselin  said about her show was that it gave the kids experiences and opportunities to do things they could never do  because there was no money to do them.

For that reason alone Nadya should consider having them on a show, Besides people love watching babies grow, especially multiples as we saw from Jon and Kate Plus 8’s popularity.

That is why in my view, Nadya needs to write another letter to Oprah, Only this time she needs to let Oprah  know that she reconsidered having her kids on TV and  gives the OWN  Network first choice in making a  decision to produce and air  her show.

By having a show featuring the kids, there will be a very public watchful eye over them so that no  harm can come to them, In addition  Nadya or her  children will never have to worry  where their next meal will be coming from.. http://www.drlillianglass.com/


22 thoughts on “Octomom’s Body Language on Oprah Shows Denial, Misguided Perception, and a Cry For Help While Oprah’s Body Language Showed Disgust

  1. why not also address Kate Gosselin’s neglect of Alexis who complained several days on film of her ear hurting that turned out was infected. Ignoring Cara’s complaint of pain in her foot for three days. Finally, Cara was taken to the ER by a nanny. All of this is on film. Kate is supposed to be a nurse? If Kate treats her children like this how must she have treated her patients? Just askin’


  2. So your solution is to reward Nadya with a TV Show of her own??? GREAT. She can then exploit the very beings who were created to support their ridiculous mother. That was her grand plan all along. HOW IS THAT HELPING THOSE POOR CHILDREN? There is ONLY one solution here, GIVE THEM UP FOR ADOPTION!


  3. How can you possibly recommend Nadya have a tv show with her children? I’ve read your posts regarding Kate Gosselin and you have condemned her parenting skills and exposure to unhealthy environments (ie. TLC and media attention)
    Seriously? I typically agree with your statements but you appear to have missed the mark.

    Also, Nadya appeared to own up to her mistakes on Oprah and that is a BIG step for someone to do regardless if you like her decisions or not.

    I agree with Cheryl, the best solution is to seek adoption for those children to get the BEST possible care. I’m outraged that nothing has been done at this point. Child Protective Services need to go in there and deal with that mess appropriately. These kids are not circus freaks to be put on display. Furthermore, the doctor who was STUPID enough to allow this to happen should be financially responsible for the children. Honestly, what was he or she thinking?

    I wish Oprah would had asked those questions rather than spending an hour to have Nadya reveal her “true side” Face it, she has issues and therapy is needed for her too. She no longer has her parents support (or so it seems) What is going to happen when those kids start walking? Who will be watching that they don’t run out into the street, or go flying down the staircase?


    1. Dear Misha
      I thought about Nadya Suleman’s situation long and hard and tried to consider every possible angle. While it would be ideal to find some loving foster parents who could help her raise her children, that will NEVER happen. In fact Nadya said that she would do everything to make sure that never happens. She has also said that she would die before she would ever consider it. When someone makes a statement like that where they speak of dying, I take it VERY seriously.
      The only way Nadya would be forced to give up her kids would be if social services intervened and that is not going to happen. Nadya would have to so something very severe for that to happen. It is not easy to take one’s children from them. I wish Nadya was affiliated with a church, where volunteers could help her with her kids. But she is not affiuliated with one and she has apparently has not welcomed this type of volunteerism in the past.
      So this is a NO WIN SITUATION! We all heard her tell Oprah that after her magazine shoot money runs out she has no idea how she will feed her children. This is a frightening thought that 14 innocent children may go hungry if there is no income.
      So the quickest and most reasonable and practical way to make the most money in the shortest time and still be around your kids is through a TV show where we everyone can watch these babies grow just like we saw with the Gosselin children. A show would provide a large income so that Nadya can afford more day nannies and night nannies which will be essential when the babies begin walking and talking. It will also give her more time to spend with her special needs children and her older children.
      For the record I have NEVER condemned Kate Gosselin’s parenting skills. In fact I have said repeatedly that the only ones who will be able to judge her parenting skills are her own children in two or three decades. Kate kept the children fed and clean and her guardian angel- TLC paid her a lot of money so that she could have trust funds for all the kids to get a college educational if they want it, TLC gave her enough money so that she could afford many nannies and housekeepers to help with the kids. TLC made sure that those kids would be fed and clothed. Nadya needs the same help from the same type of guardian angel as I see it.
      She made a mistake and now has to live with it. But now that she is in her situation, she desperately needs help and cannot be left to drown. Those kids need help to survive. She has already exposed them to the media and if she does it where child labor laws are in place and the kids are treated well, there will be no problem.
      The problem I had with Kate was her abusive behavior towards Jon and to the kids. I detested how she treated Jon, especially in front of the kids. I detested how she spoke to her kids, especially on the last episode. I detested how disrespectful she was to Tony Dovalani and to her fellow contestants on DWTS. But having said that she has provided for her kids financially- something that Nadya has yet to do.
      The whole situation with Nadya is worrisome. I pray for her and for her children that some miracle happens so that all of her children’s basic needs can be met .


  4. I’m sorry to disagree Dr. Glass, but you just said yourself that when the money runs out Nadya’s children will go hungry. THAT IS WHEN CPS CAN AND SHOULD STEP IN! They are not pawns for her to parade on TV so that she can make money to feed them! This IS NOT the LA zoo for Heaven’s sake.


  5. Dr. Glass, I am with the others on this one, and also very respectfully disagree that a TV show is Ms. Suleman’ s only option. She could make quite a bit of money making appearances, doing interviews, writing freelance or seeking a weekly or monthly column. Nadya is enough of a spectacle, that if she could not find capable and trustworthy volunteers to help and a job in the field she is trained for, she should be able to make enough money exposing herself for other’s entertainment, and not her kids. Those children’s lives are already so far off the radar in terms of normalcy, and I applaud Nadya for not further harming them in that way. If she can struggle through it, and not expose those kids on TV, then I think her kids may have a better shot at mental health than Kate’s. Most children in the world do not get trust funds for college education, have parents who struggle to make ends meet, and grow up wanting for more of their parents’ attention or affection. Most of us turn out just fine!
    I do agree that Nadya seems to need her own psychological intervention, and some sleep. That would be far more beneficial to her family than a reality show.


    1. Thank you so much for your comments. I treally appreciated them.

      The onlty thing is that appeaarances would take Nadya out fo the home and away from the kids. From someone who has done loads of appeances, book signings and speaking engagements , it not only involve the time of doing the appearance at the venue, but involves the travel time. Oftentimes that may be a full day getting there and a full day getting back, depending where onetravels. Also she would have to do a lot of apperances to make any significant money.

      Also where would she appeaar and what does she have to say? We all know what she did and already heard her mea culpa. Who would hire her? Conventions, associaitons. and professional organizartions wouldn’t ever consider her. So appearances aren’t the answer.

      Interviews take her out fo the home as welll and what more does she have to say to be interviewed about? They also do not pay as in the case of Oprah and if she is SAG or AFTRA it is usually not that much compensation. Sometimes people are paid for major exlusives, but she has nothing exclusive to reveal. We all know how difficult it is to raise 14 kids and she said it all on Oprah.

      Writing freelance and doing a monthy column take a lot of work. Take it from someone who does both. Also it does not pay a lot. Once again, what does Nadya Suleman have to say? She is not a professional or an expert. She is a confused misguided woman who lacks a lot of sleep. So she does nto bring much to the table.

      The only thing that brings in HUGE revenue is a television show. If her show went into syndicaiton, or was seen ointernationally, she would never have to worry about hungry mouths being fed as worries now.

      A show about Nadya alone ,would not be interesting- just like a show about Kate is not interesting. I can’t imagine how intersting her show Twist of Kate will be. We already know who Kate is and she in my view has very little to offer. We all saw the real Kate up close and personal on DWTS and for the most part it was not pretty. ”

      The ONLY thing that made Kate intersting was her children. It is not the fact that she popped fertility pills and birthed six babies. It was the babies themselves that made Kate have any relevance whatsoever.

      That is the ONLY reason millions of viewers tuned in- including myself- was to watch those adorteable 8 children grow. They were absiolutely heartwarming and delightful to look at.

      The same is true with Nadya’s children. I respect that the older ones may want their privacy and may not want to be taped. I think that at a certin age it may be good to not tape the children so they could blend in with their peers in an attempt to live a non- camera present life. By then, their financial needs will have been met from the filming that was done earlier in their lives. If they happen to need a therapist, at lest they could afford one.

      I do believe there is a market for people wanting to see Nadya’s precious babies 8 grow up. Don’t forget she is the ONLY person inthe world to have 8 surviving octuplets.
      As I said before, the TV show would allow for more money, more nannies and house cleaners and better care for these precicous babies who deserve a better life .

      In Nadya’s particular case I do feel it is the only answer , especially whens he said she would rather die than part with any of her kids. I believe people when they say things like that. I dont take it lightly. Those kids need to eat . They need shelter and clothing and an education. This cannot happen of they do not have money to support their bsic needs.

      So unless some philantropist or finacial angel comes into Naday;s live, I still believ that a TV show featuring the babies is a way of survuvak for her and the children.


  6. Hi Dr Glass,
    I must say I am shocked by your opinion on this. I have thought about it, and I see your point. I had no problem with the Gosselins nor any other large family doing specials and even a short series, maybe a year or two. The Gosselins mistake is, they made it their “career”. They stayed way too long, and I think these children have been damaged by the circus of the entire mess. The only other alternative is food stamps and welfare, but welfare money is cut off after 5 years, so only food stamps and medical will remain. Nadya has made a huge mess for herself and those kids.

    My other thought is this, seeing what I saw caught on film at her house, if she is filmed on a regular basis, she would most likely lose those kids by what is revealed on tape. That household is horrid. The noise alone is enough to put someone over the edge. The older kids seem very disturbed in so many ways. If I were her, I would sue the doctor, first of all. I know many might not agree, but think about it. The man didn’t even force her to go for mental evaluation. I think he knew he had a woman who was not in her right mind, so he experimented. She did accept the implants and said it was her idea, but the doctor. ultimately, was extremely irresponsible. I don’t know what Nady can do, I only had ONE child, I cannot imagine having 14. Ok she gets a show, the kids can eat, but at what expense? Look at the Gosselins. Those kids are well taken care of financially, clean etc etc, but at what expense? Kate has admitted the children need help, but she never got it for them. I think we already have 8 very damaged children. But hey, they can eat and go to college! Why not add 14 more? I just don’t know.

    I see your point, and to a degree agree with you. But I do fear IF that household is put on film, Nadya WOULD lose custody. What I saw on film for that less than an hour was scary as heck. Those children are in physical danger NOW as well emotionally deprived. That is child abuse to me.


  7. Unless I missed it, there was not one sentence in this whole article that stated that Oprah would even want/offer a show to Nadya. I think you are making assumptions, Dr. Glass.


  8. My grandfather had 8 other siblings and when his Mom was left with no spouse,, she did the most selfless thing. She had some of her children adopted by other families.
    She knew she knew she was unable to support them financially and also be able to give them a safe, nurturing environment. A Mother has to sacrifice sometimes for the sake of her children. If Nadya truly loves this kids as much as she says so does – she would do the painful thing and find suitable care for some of them.
    These kids don’t need tv cameras shoved into their faces – they need a STABLE, safe and protective environment.
    Somewhere along the way, these children have become like pawns from a self-serving, attention seeking woman.
    There are a lot of us out there that desire to be a parent and can provide a wonderful home to a child.


  9. So this is how we’re thinking now- intrude on the kids’ childhood and hope there’s money left over for therapy later on??? And since we’re making assumptions, I’ll make one. There wouldn’t be. Nadya Suleman is a disgusting woman. I think she will have more children if she can.


    1. The children’s childhood will really be intruded upon if there is no food to feed them. Nadya said on Oprah that after her payment from her bikini shoot runs out she has no idea where her nect dollar is coming from! That is FRIGHTENING!!!! These are 8 innocent children. This is a very difficult situation. She also stated that she would rather DIE than part with the kids. Those words need to be taken seriously! So since there is NO WAY OUT, it seems that a media venture with the 8 young kids in it for for just a little while until she makes enough to properly feed them seems like a way out. She has already intruded on their lives as you say by having camera crews show up for Oprah and other TV and magazine shoots, So what is the difference now?

      This is a tragic sitution. The other option is a rich benefactor like Oprah but Oprah was having no part of it as she demonstrated on her show.


  10. I missed this Oprah show. I am very glad that you have blogged about it. I read it on the day that you posted it but it involves so many extremely weighty issues that I have needed some time to settle before I responded. I truly can understand why you have felt haunted about Nadia & her children’s current plight.

    I am furious to learn that the child with the cleft lip has not had an initial surgical repair. The Smile Train is a charity that dedicates itself to developing countries where there are millions of children who are suffering with unrepaired lips and clefts. Most cannot eat or speak properly. Aren’t allowed to attend school or hold a job. They face very difficult lives filled with shame and isolation, pain and heartache. Smile Train helps children in 77 of the world’s poorest countries. I know of their stellar results as I worked on the front lines with this organization many years ago.

    I have never in my career seen a child in the US who is 13 months old and has not had surgical repair. I am astonished and saddened. Fresh Start is an organization in San Diego that provides reconstructive surgery and related services to children with such a birth defect. All services are provided free. The services include surgery, dental, and speech therapy.

    As you stated in your post a open cleft lip impairs a child’s swallowing, eating and speech development. Often in unilateral cleft lips there are also nasal deformities that require surgical repair at the same time as the initial surgery. Muscle weakness and learning difficulty can become apparent as a child tries to overcome there defect, whether they have had surgery to correct the defect or not. Multiple surgical procedures are often indicated as the child grows.

    Babies Dx. with cleft lip are more likely to have hearing problems. This must be evaluated and if Dx. promptly treated. ‘Glue Ear’ is a condition where a gluey substance builds up behind the eardrum, the part of the ear that acts as a divide between the outer and middle ear. Build up of fluid develops due to the eustachian tube being misshapen, which would usually work to get rid of excess fluid. ‘Glue ear’ can be easily treated with antibiotics and often requires a plastic tube to be inserted into the eardrum to drain the excess fluid. This is a simple surgical procedure. If not done a permanent hearing loss will result.

    A hearing test should have been performed within 6 months after birth, whether there are any apparent symptoms of hearing loss or not. I find it hard to believe that this baby has had these proper evaluations. If he had them he also would have had the surgery.

    I do wonder if Loma Linda discharged this baby without any instructions for Nadia to follow up for the cleft lip surgical repair. While possible, I find that very difficult to believe. The surgery that this baby requires will be MUCH more traumatic for him at his current age. Post-operatively during the 1st 10 days a special feeder device is used to protect the newly repaired lip. Post-op instructions include absolutely no touching at all of the srugical lip area. Any object that a child puts in or around the mouth including little fingers can ruin the repair. Therefore, the child must wear arm restraints (“splints”) for the first 10 days after surgery. These must not be removed unless done by a physician. The child must be kept on his back for one week to avoid having the lip rub on the sheet or carpet. Can you imagine how traumatic the above will be for this boy. He is 13 months old. Repairs are done today as early as 12 weeks but almost never after 3 months of age.

    I was shocked to learn how under staffed Nadia is to properly care for all her children but especially the babies. I consider this to be a dangerous situation for all the children and for Nadia as well. Her sleep deprivation is profoundly troubling. I do not know if this can be attributed as the reason for her extremely poor decisions that she has made in not providing this baby with the proper medical care that is required. I do not understand how a mother could leave her beloved child with such a severe facial disfigurement and have not initiated a pediatric plastic surgical consult.

    This post is way too long already and does not even address the very controversial recommendation that you have made about a reality program as some solution for Nadia. I need to think more on that. I too feel haunted by this situation and have had trouble getting Nadia and her children off of my mind.


  11. I am shocked to see so many against Nadya putting her kids on TV. The term “exploit” is thrown around so lightly, since J&K+8, that people seem to feel any reality show with kids would be exploitative, and that is simply not true.
    There is a right and a wrong way to do most anything. Certain conditions HAVE TO exist in order for a situation to be exploitative. That’s the way DEFINitions work. Contrary to what you may hear, there is no such thing as “your definition” of a word — unless you publish dictionaries.

    EXPLOIT: to make use of meanly or unfairly for one’s own advantage

    MEAN: characterized by petty selfishness or malice; causing trouble or bother

    UNFAIR: marked by injustice, partiality, self-interest, or deception


    Before I go further, let me say that I have no sympathy for Kate Gosselin. She is no better than Nadya Suleman; she ended up with sextuplets in the first place by corrupting the fertility treatment process. The first few years, they were at the age where Kate devalued them as sources of narcissistic supply or even saw them as threats, and she detached herself emotionally. It is significant that she took her anger out on Jon, shifted most of the childcare to him, and began leaving for periods of time. IMO, the best thing for the kids would have been for Jon to change the locks when Kate was away on one of her book tours and sue her for divorce and full custody.

    Normally I would say children belong with their mothers, but Kate’s narcissism will have serious emotional effects. Even if she ever felt she could benefit from therapy, I don’t think she will do it. It would imply that she’s “common”. It would also open a Pandora’s box with respect to future custody contests. Her kids are getting old enough to be useful as sources of narcissistic supply for her, and she’s excited about it. She recently wrote:

    “There is exactly nothing like having eight small and very honest critics right under my feet at all times. When I started traveling and speaking, or doing book or media tours, the kids would ask what I was doing. So I’d tell them. But they were young and didn’t really get detailed with their questions — and they were busy playing and not concerned. As they’ve gotten older, they now want to SEE! They want to see photos from the shoots, book covers, or any interesting souvenirs that I bring home as a result of the most recent project!”

    Narcissists regard human beings as mere instruments of gratification. Almost nothing in the Gosselin kids’ lives was off-limits. It was as if they were placed in a glass case for observation. They were too young to set boundaries, and Kate did not set any for them (until she learned of criticism here and there, and then she adapted in order to silence it). Whether or not they are better off than Nadya’s kids is for them to decide when they grow up.

    But Nadya is certainly coming into her own as a train-wreck. I truly don’t know enough about Nadya to say if she is narcissistic, but whatever her underlying issues, stress is going to make itthings much worse. Her ability to cope is already weakened. She needs resources more than the Gosselins ever did; the question is whether or not she can do a show without causing her kids trouble.


  12. Who cares whether Nadya says thinks such as “I will die if…”.
    Nadya is obviously a drama queen, and she just says whatever is convenient. As far as having a show, she ought not to do such a thing for her own safety. She is despised and the public has had enough of her. The way she treats those babies is disgusting. It makes me sick to watch her on all these staged documentaries. If she can’t even parent when she knows the cameras are on, what must it be like when they are not? If she becomes a regular feature on television, she is going to push the public too far. As it is she should be ostracized for her selfish, reckless behavior. She implanted eleven embryos for fame. High order multiples have extraordinary rates of cerebral palsy and developmental problems. She didn’t care. The babies are proof of her real character. Children are precious in our society. Well, to most people anyway. To Nadya Suleman they are commodities.

    I’ve watched her on many a video. She’s going to crack eventually. She’s used to scamming and getting her way, so her irrational temper is relatively hidden right now. On the various videos it is apparent that she has a very immature, angry side to her that quickly appears and consumes her. One person on a forum said that Nadya physically tried to stop her from photographing her by touching her. That’s battery in legal terms. She is a ticking time bomb. Hopefully, the children won’t be the victims of the inevitable explosion.


  13. Forgot to mention. Nadya also used her car to block the car of the person that was trying to photograph her, saying that she wanted to get her license plate number. In legal terms, that is known as false imprisonment.


  14. Dr. Lillian,

    I believe that you are 100% correct in your assessment that Nadia needs the opportunity of a reality show. I have hesitated for weeks now in evaluating all that you blogged about and with my own heartfelt beliefs and hang ups about reality tv for kids. I can now tell you that I sure wish that Oprah would listen to you. These children and Nadia really need this opportunity. I believe what Nadia told Oprah, that she would die before she would give up her children.

    The conditions that these children live in continue to greatly concern me. Especially the child with the cleft. I am very pissed off that Child Services, Nadia’s Peditrician or somebody has not stepped in to make this happen. I really want to thank you for blogging about this. I would never have known about it if you had not chosen to blog about her. After I read your post I did locate the epi on line and watched. The segment where the toddler was climbing on the baby was horrific. The extreme lack of sufficient care givers is horrific.

    I am disappointed in Nadia because more than a sufficient number of care givers were available to her through Gloria Allred’s offer with that high level child care agency that was supplying nurses. I believe that Nadia’s ego got in her own way of accepting what was at that time, a perfect solution so that all of her children would be safe and secure. I am praying that someone helps this woman.

    Again, I really appreciate your dedication with your blog. This piece in particular, (as with River) you took a fairly unpopular person and offered your views for some solutions that also were not the easy or “popular” viewpoint. I just love you for that. In each of these cases you had their best interest in mind. You are the only person in the media that I have heard that looks at the big picture and rather than just gossips offers solutions for others best interests. I greatly admire you!


  15. I just wanted to say that as a mom who has a child with cleft lip and palate, there are many different dr’s who address a cleft lip different ways. We had drs that did not want to fix my daughter’s lip and palate till one year of age. There were some that would have done it at the three month mark.

    If it is a minor cleft lip, the sometimes drs will only want to wait until 2 or 3years of age. I do not agree with this lady’s choices, but I think you are kind of grasping at straws with some of the problems you stated here. Kids will be kids… and even when you only have a few, accidents happen…

    And not only that but as painful as an ear infection can be, it is not something that can’t wait until someone can come watch your other children. It is not like they cut their own arm off…


    1. As someone who has published in professional journals and has done a lot of research on patients with cleft lip and palate, it is much better to fix the lips earlier due to feeding and speech development and muscular issues. there are no straws being grasped at here. You missed he point. This woman needs help in every way possible and by her not getting the help she needs the kids are the ones who will suffer. With so many kids, there are bound to be that many accidents and problems especially when they are neglected. Your comment about the er infection reflects your ignorance on the topic. I don;t know if you have personally experienced an ear infection but it is horrifically painful. At any moment the eardrum could burst causing severe problems including deafness. Because of the location and shape of the ear canal in children the pain is even more devastating. That is why children often scream on takeoff and landings on planes due to ear pressure.Pain is pain whether an arm is cut off or an ear is dripping with blood and pus.Children in pain need to be treated immediately.


  16. Please, for the love of all that is Holy, run a spell check before you post things.

    I have read through a lot of posts and they are interesting but the multitude of errors are very distracting. It only takes a minute to copy & paste into Microsoft Word (or it’s equivalent) and run a program that will make you appear even more intelligent.

    There is no excuse for the same word to be spelled 3 different ways when there is only one correct spelling. Geesh!


    1. Nayda’ is a scam artist and she doesn’t deserve a show about her 14 kids they have all been abused from the time they came home. Nayda’ stages poverty with her kids and collects money from the state welfare and disability and concerned citizens and spends the cash on herself ..she does Porn and has cameras follow her around for pity and interviews in her home that looks like an orphanage ..Her own mother claims she doesn’t pick them up or know their names sometimes and she kicked both her parents out that supported her with the first six kids


      1. That is all the more reason I think she needs as show, not only so we can keep an eye on her but that she can have enough money to support those kids with trusts set up for each child that she cannot get to as that would be a stipulation of the show. Shes no different than Kate Gosslin.We need to have compassion for her for the sake of those kids. It was a perfect storm. She was not stable. She had issues. She had 6 kids. The doctor was not responsible in my view and a whole host of other conditions took place. The bottom line is there are little innocent human beings who need a chance in life.


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