“Hate” is a pretty strong word. So, to those of you Kate Gosselin fans out there, who write to tell me how much I hate Kate, based on the blogs I have written, let me share something with you right now. I do NOT hate Kate Gosselin. As a Media Psychologist and Body Language Expert who does Behavioral Analysis of newsmakers, I report my observations about Kate and Jon and Hailey and give my opinions. I will say that both Kate and Jon exhibit behaviors which I find very Toxic. I find her self absorption, her narcissism, her herself entitlement, and the abusive behaviors she exhibited towards Jon (who is truly no angel) and to her innocent children (who are angels) to name a few. I find Jon’s pettiness, passive aggressiveness, lying, cheating, and selfish behaviors very Toxic.
While I may dislike both Jon and Kate’s deficits, she certainly does not fall into a category for those for whom I reserve the adjective of “hate.” So to set the record straight here is a list who I “hate”:
Hitler, Stalin, child abusers and molesters, animal torturers, rapists, thieves, kidnappers, murderers, serial killers, con men and women who prey on the disabled and the elderly, anyone who has enough points on the Hare Scale of Psychopathy to merit the diagnosis of a psychopath or sociopath, Dr. B.K. with his ice cold detached response after he killed my brother in a medical malpractice situation, where he wrongly intubated my brother, who as result became a vegetable and died, and finallly terrorists, especially the one’s who were responsible for what happened on 911.
So as you can clearly see Kate Gosselin is not on my Hate List. But the question is why has she elicited such a negative and hostile response from so many in the public? I can answer that.
Kate and Jon both reflected the American dream. They were a young couple in love enough to make babies. And with their fertility treatments ended up making lots of babies- 8 to be exact. They seemed like a caring couple who only wanted the best for their kids. We loved watching them. We loved seeing the babies grow. We could even forgive Kate’s “meltdowns” as she recently described them, and her short temper. After all she had 8 little mouths and 8 different personalities to deal with. But then we began to see Kate get meaner and meaner in her verbal abuse towards Jon. It seemed a lot more frequent. It turned a lot of people off. Kate explained to her audience that “she was not perfect.” That was acceptable, as no one is perfect.
But then we saw Kate transform into a completely different persona. That persona was not the loving caring mother. That persona was the selfish, “you owe me because I had multiples” attitude. While everyone has falling outs with people, Kate had an extraordinary number of these fallouts with an extraordinary number of people. People questioned why her family was not in her life or in her kid’s lives. Why were people suddenly so turned off with Kate? And by the same token, why were people so turned off with Jon?
From a dutiful house husband Jon suddenly transformed into a CZ earring and Ed Hardy Tee shirt wearing, chain smoking, womanizing, lying, paid party going, money taking, alleged drinking and pot smoking, pony tail pulling, Kate despising. Media crazy, Lohan friending, Shmuley apologizing, girlfriend abuse claim scamming, yoga doing dude.
While any couple goes through ups and downs, this couple had more working against them from their background issues, to career expectations, to the stress of having so many children around. They innocently wanted to be in a position to document the children’s growth and development and share that with the public for a profit so they could afford to raise their children. There is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with the fact that these two grew apart.
But there is something wrong with what happened afterwards. That is why the public has reacted so vocally, vehemently, and violently. The fact that neither of them were BOTH willing to sit down with a therapist who could have really helped them was the first thing that turned the public off. They didn’t even give their relationship a fair chance.
They didn’t even get help on a regular basis with a counselor (seen in private) who could help make this bad situation work out. There was too much at stake here. Besides the finances, there were the lives of 8 innocent children who did NOT deserve what happened next.
While there were those who saw things from Kate’s point of view and others who saw things from Jon’s point of view. the back and forth “hate” towards one another in the press made the public not able to see anything from any point of view. The only point of view was that these two selfish people were hurting their children by their horrific behavior. Their irresponsible actions in the media will have severe repercussions on their children’s psyches. They did not think of that. They only thought of themselves- who was right and who was wrong!
Had a therapist been in their lives to guide them through these rough waters, there is no doubt they would not have done what they did in such a public and hateful way. The public turned off completely. For many it was a catharsis. It brought forth people’s own experiences in their own divorce nightmares. For others it was the memories of being a child of divorce where one parent hated the another. For others. it was a painful reminder of how things can quickly turn or how things may not be what they seem. The Jon and Kate saga hit a nerve with so many
People who spoke against Jon, were attacked. While others who spoke against Kate were attacked. Still others who spoke against both Jon and Kate were attacked.
We saw a lovely story of a lovely family that turned into a horrific nightmare, A lot of people took that nightmare to heart. To date, Jon and Kate have no business being in front of any camera. Kate has a lot of work to do before she is ever ready to be in the public eye. The same goes for Jon.
I keep bringing up the “Knut the Bear Syndrome.” What happened to Knut the polar bear in the Berlin Zoo is exactly what happened to Jon and Kate Gosselin. Little Knut was so cute when he was pure white and cuddly and playful. His every move was documented and recorded on camera. There were countless television crews around him and paparazzi invading his space every day of his life. But when Knut grew up he wasn’t so cute any more, the public wasn’t that interested in Knut. But Knut demanded the same attention that he had for so long when he was astar in the public eye. When it wasn’t there he began to rebel. He became a narcissist and very violent.
He exhibited the same characteristics as Kate. From a hard working former nurse to the overwhelmed mother of 8 she became a narcissistic Glamour Queen, believing her own press. Her venture into the public eye wasn’t only to raise money for her kids. They had enough money, according to her. It was to raise her ego. People saw her transition and heard what came out of her mouth from “serving her children on a gold platter” to wanting to be in a movie and do cartons without training, as signs of entitlement. They reacted negatively when she revealed she was getting her own show? It was just one more sign of her “ entitlement. “Why should she have her own show,” they wondered? She was being misrepresented as the ideal super mother with 8 kids. But she was less than ideal. In fact she was abusive and volatile, showed hypocrisy and deception on television stating on breath she was penniless and on the next, the kids were wealthy and she would be getting her won show. She whined and whined people had enough. In fact many felt as US Weekly reported that she was the “Monster Mom” So why would a Monster Mom get her own show? Of course, so TLC and Kate could get back at Jon.
Jon also suffered from “Knut the Bear Syndrome.+ True he was abused by Kate and rebelled and went to the other extreme. We initially saw him as a sweet soul who loved his kids and was the one they turned to for emotionally support. The kids overwhelmed him based on his age and maturity level. So instead of getting counseling on a regular basis, he acted out like Knut the Bear. He became vicious and demanding and narcissistic. He loved the camera attention and when Kate got more air time, like Knut, Jon became even more aggressive and verbally violent, saying he despised Kate. He even had to manufacture things with Hailey taking about abuse and break ups on one breath and no breaks on the next breath. This was clearly done to get more time on camera. If Knut the bear could talk, and appear on ET or the Insider or Larry King Live, he probably would have made up lies like Jon.
This couple needs to go away. They need to get out of the media, hopefully forever. They need to focus on their kids 1000 per cent, They need to get these kids into therap. , Kate needs to stop yelling at them and being so mean to them as we recently saw. She needs anger management in my opinion. Jon needs to learn how to be a real man. That means to stop whining, blaming, lying, and being petty. He needs to spend more time caring about his kids than his love life at this point in time. These years are so crucial to these kids. It cannot be about Jon or Kate It IS about the kids.
It takes a village to raise children and the public reaction towards Jon and Kate and how they are with their children speaks to this. WE care about these innocent souls. Mady in particular, I feel needs a lot of attention. Based on what we saw on the show, she needs a lot of love not punishment.
Kate, on one breath says she has the most well adjusted kids ever, while on the next breath says they have acted out since the divorce. For goodness sake GET THESE CHILDREN INTO TEHRAPY IMMEDIATELY! That is the responsible, unselfish, decent think to do. You can afford to do it. You can’t afford NOT to do it .
The best thing that came out of all of this mess is that the kids are no longer on the air to be looked at like zoo animals. Those kids are off the air until they are old enough to make their own decision as to whether or not they ever want to be on the air. Five years is enough camera time for any child. Always remember what happened to Knut the Bear. It would be tragic to see another 8 “Knut the Bear Syndromes.” http://www.drlillianglass.com