It is your oldest daughters Cara and Mady’s birthday today. They are turning 9. It is NOT about the two of you narcissists. Can’t you both spend a day thinking about anyone else but yourselves? Who cares who’s turn it is at custody? Instead, of BOTH figure out a way to celebrate their special day so they will be happy. You are BOTH instilling hard and hostile feelings in them towards BOTH of you.
So what if it is your custody day Kate. Stop being so stubborn for once and let the father of your children see his twins in the evening or the afternoon. Let him spend time with them as well. There are 24 hours in the day and he certainly can have 4 of those hours to make them feel special on their special day.
Kate is quoted as saying “ I’m going to bake a chocolate cake from scratch, and that’s going to feel normal and happy.”
I hate to break it to you Kate. It may feel” normal and happy” to you, but it is not “normal and happy” to your daughters who also need to see their father on the special day they were born.
And of course there is Jon screaming “She’s trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on Mady and Cara’s birthday,” “That’s like giving her full custody by obeying her. She can’t tell me what to do. I’m not going to allow it. I’m just going to stay. I own the house so I can do what I want.” She’s trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday because she doesn’t want to see me,”. “She doesn’t want to hear my apology. She doesn’t want to work things out.”
Jon, your ranting and raving is a lot deeper than just seeing your daughters on their birthday. When you say’ “She can’t tell me what to do” and uses the words “obeying her” it is further indication of the emotional distress she has caused you throughout these years. You are fighting back hard even when you don’t have . You need to be glad you are done with her.
Then on the next breath you say “She doesn’t want to hear my apology. She doesn’t want to work things out.” Well Jon, count your blessings she doesn’t want to work things out or hear your apology. Now it’s not about Kate. It is about you and YOU need to get yourself to a therapist stat. You need a qualified professional to help you deal with all of your of emotional upheaval which you kept inside all these years, You need to do it immediately so that you don’t end up further screwing up your kids. That would be their best birthday gift.
Dr. Lillian Glass