The area of sex differences in communication and semantics with regard to men and women has been of particular interest to me for decades. In fact I was the first to write about the topic back in 1991 with my book “ He Says She Says” Closing the Communication Gap Between Men and Women.” I also wrote about the subject in 1999 in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Men and Women.” I have discovered a great deal about gender communication. I have lectured on the topic throughout the world.
So when I heard Kate Kate Gosslin’s Referring to Her Nannies and Housecleaners “Girls” is Sexist and Degrading on her TLC Q and A refer to her nannies and housecleaners as “girls,” needless to say my ears perked up. It spoke volumes to me. It gave me a lot more insight into Kate Gosselin. The thought of an unevolved woman, not to mention an abusive self absorbed, lying, narcissistic woman getting her own show from TLC disturbs me.
In this day and age in a Western culture, especially in the United States, if a female who is not a child or a teenager is referred to as a “girl,” there is something wrong. It is demeaning and sexist. Anyone who calls someone a “girl” reflects someone who is clearly not evolved. If it was back in the 1950’s or maybe in the 1960’s (the era of Kate’s Twiggy hairstyle) it would be understandable. People weren’t as evolved back then, especially when it came to women. After all it was only in the 1970’s that women really began to have a voice thanks to people like Gloria Steinhem.
If a man called someone a “girl”, it would also reflect his lack of evolution and respect for women, especially if that woman was his employee. Men who have been accused of sexual harassment in the workplace, besides making vulgar comments towards women, often refer to the females in their workplace as “girls.” It shows their disrespect for these women and lack of perceiving her as an equal. As someone who has worked with attorneys in terms of witness preparation on sexual harassment cases, I have seen this “girl” reference in several cases. Needless to say, it is a pejorative term when used referring to a grown woman, in this day and age.
Having said that, I have heard a lot of older couples, say “the girls are coming later” or it’s just us guys and not the girls.”Women talk about their “girlfriends” or “going out with the girls.” In those cases, there is an equal relationship as they refer to themselves as “one of the girls.”
But in Kate’s case, it is not an equal relationship. It is a relationship where the women to whom Kate referred to as “girls,” were her subordinates. She is their employer. So by referring to her employees as “girls,” they are not in an equal position. If they were her peers or her friends and not her employees, where she is the boss, there would be no problem referring to them “girls” as in “girlfriends.”
What is upsetting to me is that Kate is going to be getting her own show with TLC. TLC in all of their preparation and hype is making sure that Kate is being put on a pedestal and held up as the role model for single moms who have to cope with the Jon’s of the world. The show they are giving her is in my view, a thumbing their nose at Jon, who has broken their cash cow business by not allowing them to be on his property, let alone film the children. So they are trying to gain back their revenue and continue on with Kate. If Jon won’t play and the kids’ s aren’t allowed to play, then Kate will play and TLC will back her 100 percent. Jon showed them and they are showing Jon. That is all that is!
I can’t imagine any intelligent studio executive giving a show to an abusive woman who is unevolved, disrespectful of fans, self absorbed, who has no hosting experience (and don’t count the View or Paula Deen or her slapping Jon on camera and yelling at the kids and doing activities with them as host experience).
Kate is clearly not a representative for any woman if she refers to women as “girls.” It may seem like a little thing but it is a HUGE thing as far as where her head is at and her mindset is, when it comes to women. Her disrespectfully and symbolically throwing papers with questions from her “fans’ on the floor also reflected who she IS.
I strongly believe that it is a disgrace that she will be given her own show as she should NOT be rewarded for her bad behavior and falsely hyped by TLC as being a role model for single woman raising kids on her own. She is NOT raising those kids on her own. Jon is there to help along with the countless nannies and housecleaners whom she refers to as “girls.”
There are many wonderful women out there I would like to see on TV shows before Kate. In fact, I would rather see anyone other than Kate. It is a complete sell out and public manipulation for TLC to give Kate her own show. It is rewarding bad behavior. If TLC is going to reward bad behavior, why not give Balloon Mom her own show? She is more real than Kate. Mayumi is an abused woman who’s husband is going to prison. She needs the money to support her three boys. Kate already has a fortune. She doesn’t need the money. If TLC is going to give a popular mom a break who is highly visible and is in all the media- it makes more sense to me to give the show to Balloon Mom. We could watch her go through all the changes as she gets out from under Richard Heene’s abusive thumb.
I didn’t mind seeing Kate on a reality show with 8 kids and trying to cope when they were babies and watching them grow. But I will detest seeing her on camera, no matter what the TLC promo department comes up with in terms of their hyping Kate. We have already seen Kate and we all know who she is. She is nobody I would care to watch on television. She is too unpleasant. Jon and the kids were great buffers for her Toxicity, but seeing her up close and personal as we did on the Q and A is way too much Kate. I don’t want to see or hear whining or lying or sarcasm or self entitlement. I am sure most people would agree.
I am not a Kate hater nor am I a Jon lover. But I am a Media Psychologist and a Body Language and Communication Expert. I call it as I see it professionally and I see the truth. I don’t lie or sugar things. I see what IS and not what ISNT. To me Kate ISN’T anyone who should have her own show. She is too selfish, mean, rude, self absorbed and unevolved for me to respect her as any type of voice of authority.
She is not the helpless mother who is struggling to take care of kids unlike so many people are around the country. Instead, the same nannies and housecleaners whom she refers to as “girls” are the ones doing that.
We have seen how Kate is so caught up on stardom, as evidenced by her comments about the Kate wigs being on back order from “here to the ends of time” and wanting to be in a movie and to a cartoon voices – for her kids.
To me, this is nauseating or as teenage “girls” in this day and age say “excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.”
The lies and BS on the Today Show with her crocodile tears telling everyone Jon left her in the poor house in segment one, only to find out moments later in segment two, that the kids are not only financially set, but she and they will be even more set, as she is getting her own TV show.
I have received so many emails and comments about Kate and how people cannot stand her. Why are people reacting so violently toward her? I will tell you. No one likes: A LIAR, A ME MYSELF AND I NARCISSIST, A MANIPULATOR, A USER, ARROGANCE, or A CONTROL FREAK. All of these traits are TOXIC TRAITS. She has many toxic traits that are a turn off to people. In fact, I discuss these Toxic traits in my bestselling book TOXIC PEOPLE- 10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable. As you will see in the book, the more toxic traits someone has. the more Toxic of a person they are. Kate has many toxic traits and that is why so many people are reacting negatively towards her.
If people react positively toward this TOXIC WOMAN and say they like Kate, they like the “concept” of a Kate. They like a concept of a kind and sweet and loving hard working woman with 8 kids who is divorcing and has a bad cheating husband and now has to fend for her kids. But this not the reality of who Kate is. That is who you would like Kate to be. It is an illusion.
Kate tries to deflect her detractors by stating “I’m not perfect.” Well not of us are and no one expects perfection. But when we see lying, arrogance, disrespect, selfishness, self entitlement, narcissism, verbal and physical abuse, and self absorption, people react negatively.
TLC should reconsider and not waste their money or our time on a show with this Toxic Woman. Many people tried talk shows and failed. Oprah still exists because she is likeable. She’s not mean or bitchy or abusive like Kate. Dr. Phil offers a service. Like him or not, he’s a professional. Montel, Geraldo, Ricki, Sally and Jerry Springer all had long runs because they were likeable. People loved them and loved the “craziness” of the guests during those days. But those days are long gone. We have evolved and we don’t want to see the “craziness of a guest” now become a spokeswoman for single moms as she hosts her own show.