In the last season of The Bachelor, Vienna Girardi was clearly the villain while Jake was seen as the good guy.
But after watching the Bachelor Reunion with Jake and Vienna, the roles have completely reversed. My new book, which will be released this coming November called Toxic Men, Identify, Deal With and Heal From Men Who Make Your Life Miserable describes men like Jake Pavelka to a tee.
BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN JAKE AND VIENNA
Before it got to the point where Vienna was upset in tears as seen in the photo above, there was a lot of back and forth and accusations between the two of them. They both accused the other of lying. He called her a liar who went behind her back to the tabloids. She said that she had no choice because she knew him. He told her that he didn’t know him. But when she called him a” fame whore”. He actually laughed . He had nothing to say because it may have rung true to him.
Then he accused her of cheating and being with a “boy”. He didn’t say she was with a “man” but instead called him a ”boy”. This spoke volumes about Jake’s insecurity. Even when Vienna told Jake that the “boy” was a gay friend of hers, he ignored what she said.
He had his mind made up and that was that. Nothing Vienna said could change anything.
JAKE’S VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Jake showed that he was arrogant, smug, cut off from communication, unsympathetic, completely into himself. He clearly showed behavior of a control freak who demanded that he be listened to!
When Vienna tried to apologize to him, he could care less. He was detached and arrogant. He then told her in the most gruff and harsh tone to “BE QUIET!
How dare him speak to anyone like that! One wouldn’t even speak to an animal in that tone of voice. It was highly abusive and very disturbing to watch.
JAKE’S HOSTILE AND ABUSIVE BODY LANGUAGE
When Jake told her to “BE QUIET” his body language was abusive as well, in that he presented his back hand to her.
This is a very hostile gesture and can often be a precursor towards physical violence. When a person shows you the back of their hand during an argument, if they are angry enough at you and out of control enough, they could literally “back hand you”.
Jake also kept shaking his foot indicating that he wanted to get out of there. His body language was saying that wanted to leave and be far away from Vienna.
If the backhanded violent gesture wasn’t enough, Jake then did something very shocking. It actually repulsed me to the point that I lost complete respect for him.
If Jake could be this violent body language wise when telling her to stop interrupting him on national television, what could he do to her when the cameras were off of them and they were in the privacy of their home?
Jack did a mock karate chop on his thigh when he yelled at her to stop interrupting him. This is a HUGE red flag in my view. Gestures like that can and have often lead to physical violence. When someone punches a wall or punches their fist, or karate chops their thigh to get a point across it may be a dangerous signal and something to watch for
JAKE DESTROYED VIENNA’S DIGNITY
Jake told Vienna not only that he was angry bit that that she disgusted him. Telling someone you are angry at them for something they did is one thing.
But telling them they disgust you is another. When you are angry there is hope that you can repair a relationship.
But when a person says you disgust them, there is no hope for any repair. It is over. It means that you have lost complete respect for the person.
You have taken away their dignity by making a statement like that. and there is no going back.
JAKE’S ABUSE MAKES VIENNA CURL UP INTO A BALL
Vienna was so devastated by the Karate chop, the yelling at her, and the verbal abuse that she retreated into a fetal position while sitting.
She literally curled up into a ball with her head on her lap as she sobbed.
What was even more disturbing to see what Jake had done to her through his emotional abuse wa to see that Jake didn’t even bat an eye. He could care less. He showed absolutely no humanity.
Instead, he was focused on himself. He leaned away from her and tried to explain himself via anger, with his fist-like hand clasped to his shaking foot. He showed no compassion towards her whatsoever.
The selfishness and lack of compassion on Jake;s part can never be forgotten. It reflected who he truly is as a human being.
VIENNA GARNERS THE INNER STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY
Vienna finally got the inner strength to get up and leave the set. That took a lot of guts on her part. As a seasoned professional in the media, the biggest sin one can ever commit is to walk off a set. But in Vienna’s situation, what she did showed strength. She was not going to take Jake’s abuse any longer. But before she left the stage, she told Jake the truth about himself that he was the meanest person she ever met.
Once again Jake didn’t bat an eye. He didn’t even look at her. He was more concerned with himself. He had no concern with her emotional state. He didn’t even go after her when she walked off the stage. He didn’t even try to comfort her. That was a huge turn off to viewers.
After watching Jake in action, I cannot imagine him having an acting career except for roles that may call for a TOXIC MAN like the one he exhibited on the reunion show. www.drlillianglass.com