Oscar Pistorius Body Language in the Courtroom Casts Doubt
April 22, 2014

 

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While his family denies  that disabled champion runner Oscar Pistorius took acting lessons to prepare himself for trial and others

swear that he did take lessons, the bottom line is that something is not right in terms of how he presents himself in the courtroom.

 

As a jury consultant  and someone who has prepared witnesses for trial, I can assure you that acting lessons are the absolte worst

thing a person can do to prepare themselves. People need to be genuine and show genuine emotion and speak in a manner

and show body language that will not alienate a jury, but rather objectively allow them to hear the message.

 

In observing Oscar Pistorius’ body language throughout the trial  I noticed many things that are rather odd. His emotions often do not

seem to match the situations being discussed or his body language seems to be over the top as far as his emotions are concerned.

He seems to be tuning out which will not endear himself to the judge who, is the only one who will be deciding his fate.

 

The one thing that I noticed is that he is always covering his ears. In  essence he doesn’ twant to hear all the gory details about what

he did to Reeva. He wants to block it out and that is what he is doing by literally blocking his ears. But that behavior is off putting. he

needs to sit there without his hands over his ears and listen to every word. If he shed emotion, it needs to be genuine . he needs to

face the details of what he is accused of doing.

 

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Not only does he cover his ears, but he covers his head with his papers as you see int he photo above. It is akin to someone wanting to  pull the blankets over their head and not leave their bed or the house. This signals extreme shame and guilt  over what he did. He wants it to all go away as he is in essence hiding.

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As well as not wanting to hear the details at the trial, he also does not want to see them as well. he does not want to see the results of his actions as he tightly shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in a self comforting gesture.

 

Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 9.33.34 AM The gesture where he pulls down the skin on his face is a self mutilation type of gesture which often occurs when a person is feeling guilty and there is no way out. It is a  literal form of  self punishment as we see Pistorius doing here.

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This photo is of Reeva Steenkamp’s parent’s crying. With their furrowed brows and squinted eyes, they show genuine tears of  sadness at what happened to their beautiful daughter they created.

Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 9.32.29 AMIn contrast here are Pistorius tears. He hides his face as he cries which to many observing him may indicate that he is faking his cry. Usually when one is in emotional pain, they don’t care who sees them cry, they just express their sorrow and upset openly. Many may feel this is contrived and he may have something to hide.

 

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He cries too oftena nd his recovery time from his cry is too fast. When people recover too quickly from a cry to a normal non crying facial posture it takes them time to recover. He does it almost immediately which may indicate that he is doing all of this crying for affect.

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The above cry seems too intense . This facial gesture would occur if someone is in severe extreme grieve where they cannot contain themselves or control their emotions.  His hand over his mouth shows that there is something he doesn’t want to reveal. And his tightly squinted eyes are not congruent with the crying emotion he is attempting to display. With a squinty eyed cry the mouth is usually open. That is not the case here.

As a body language I feel that something is off with Pristorius and his emotions. usually I see an incongruent emotion and body language when the person is medicated or on drugs. But that emotion is usually a more dull or blank  facial appearance.

When someone shows the inconsistency of emotion as Pristorius has been doing throughout the trial, it shows me that either he has forced this on his own in terms of trying to project what he thinks the judge wants to see, or that he has been prepped  or coached in some way.

If he did take acting lessons, he did himself a huge disservice as he looks like a very bad actor trying to force emotion. It takes years to perfect acting skills, not a few weeks or months. So if he did take the lessons, they clearly did not work. On the other hand if he did not take lessons and he is acting like this on his own, he is also doing himself a huge disservice because he is not putting his position across in a genuine manner.

In the US judicial system if he was in front of a jury of his peers my belief is that he would be convicted based on his body language and vocal tone alone. Whether you want to believe it or not the truth is that juries can and have often  judged someone on these things even if all the evidence points in their favor. But Pistorius only has to convince one person whom he refers to as “My lady” throughout the proceedings.

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If My lady” uses her  legal skills along with her genuine common sense and pays attention to the defendant’s body language, facial, language, and vocal tone, she will come up with the right verdict for Oscar Pistorius as his communication skills and body language speak volumes.

 

Lack of Humility,  Arrogance, and Entitlement  of Toxic Young Fashion Designer Cecelia Cassini Unleashes Throngs of Haters
April 22, 2014

 

 

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I was looking a Facebook post from one of my comedian friends who has never been mean spirited. So I was shocked when I read his postabout his wanting to hit a child with a baseball bat. Then I looked at the video of the child to whom he wasreferring. She was a young fashion designer  Cecelia Cassini being interviewed on the red carpet. It turns out that my comedian friend was not alone. In fact close nine thousand Youtube posts – (ALL  of then negative and hateful)  shared the same sentiment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TRVOFEsoWk

I decided to dissect why there was such a torrent of vitriol towards this young lady and came up with the following reasons. She

1. acted  entitled, spolied and rotten. When asked if she got her sewing machine at the age of 6 she said in a snotty tone with hand on her hip and eyes rolled, “Yes after begging for it for a year.”

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2. had an “I’m better than you” attitude. Her erect head pulled back with chin out showed arrogance and a condescending attitude.

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3. had over the top affectations in her body language  and in her speech pattern where she leaned back and shook her finger as she described hr dissatisfaction with using ponytail holders to pull her dress back. Wouldn’t it be like “Uh (goes up in pitch) amazing if I had a sewing machine to sew and to fit me prop= per- ly (over enunciated) which she  said in a sarcastic manner.Image

 

4. was disrespectful to elders ( her sewing teacher) and showed anger and disgust towards her teacher. She says”  I took sewing classes but I didn;t really like my teacher because she was like  rude (laughs about it) like she told me that some frabrics didn;t match what i thought they did (smacks her lips)  so I didn’t go to her anymore. So I basically just taught myself.” This is the epitome of arrogance and rudeness and disrespect towards someone much older and more experienced than her- her teacher.She also looked very self satisfied as she relayed this story.

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5.had arrogant body language as she reaches out her hand with palms up in a very campy way as she says how every little girl needs a dress and how they don’t need pants. Well for one thing this little know it all is not as savvy a fashion designer as she thinks since pants are a huge part of fashion. perhaps all she knows how to do at this point is make dresses as pants may be much harder to make. So she poo poos the idea of pants on little girls. Maybe if she would have continued her sewing lessons with her sewing teacher she would have learned how to make pants.

6. over the top gestures and over the top speech patterns that were not fitting for a girl her age. She flexes and flicks her wrist and tenses her lower saw as she says Carl Lagerfeld and Diane Von Furstenberg are her favorite designers and how they are “works of art” (said in an over articulated way- arrttt) . No child uses those terms so it makes her sound very affected, pretentious, and phony.

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6. sounded insincere and condescending with her monotone voice, When asked about her website, instead of just giving her website address, like a seasoned salesperson  she manages to obnoxiously get in that you can buy her designs online or at Fred Segal. After she says this she has a tightlipped smug look on her face which makes her look arrogant. Her raised head and jutting chin are also not endearing but reflect her sense of entitlement.Image

 

It’s clear that this young girl has come to believe her own press about how great sheis.  As quickly was her rise to the top is as quickly as her fall to the bottom will beunless she changes up her attitude.

She didn’t start out this way. Initially her heart seemed to be in the right place as sheused her talents  and volunteered dress homeless children and children in hospitals.As you can see from this video which was done several years before her most recentred carpet fiasco, she didn’t seem affected, arrogant, ort obnoxious. Instead, she seemed grounded and generous.

But something happened to her between then and now. Evidently, she got big headed  with all the publicity and fame she received and with having celebrities buy her clothing for their kids and  having child actors praise her designs. Her being invited to sell her clothing at the in my view ridiculously overpriced but prestigious Fred Segal’s didn’t help foster her now out of control ego.

She clearly lost  sight of  the humanity that got her in the public’s eye the first place -doing something for others and not being so self absorbed.

Unfortunately  Cecelia is not alone as this is what happens to a lot of  people who start out kind and nice and with a purpose to do good for others. Then they  become toxic egocentric people  after they get a little taste of fame. We see it all the time with actors, television personalities, bloggers, and even athletes.  But to see this  toxic behavior in  the form of a little girl is both shocking and intolerable. It is like a very unpleasant caricature of human behavior.

There is no doubt that this child has talent as her dresses are cute in my view, but definitely not worth the $!00 to spend on a child who will undoubtedly outgrow the dress in a few months. But her talents mean nothing unless this pintsized designer  reigns in her oversized ego and sense of entitlement.

Someone needs to sit her down and let her know that she is still a little girl with a lot to learn.  In order to be a great fashion designer you need to have an open mind to learn knew things and not think you know it all. You need to respect others, even if you don’t  necessarily agree with them. Cecelia needs to  be taken her back to the children’s hospitals  and homeless shelters where she first began to showcase her clothes, She needs to sit down and really listen to those little girls  to get a reality check  to see that arrogance and entitlement are not what life is about. She needs to gain some humility and compassion towards those who’s lives are not as comfortable and rosy as her life.

 

I don’t blame her parents because she wasn’t always like the mean girl she displayed on the red carpet video. In fact I applaud her parents for helping her live out herdream by connecting her  with the right people and encouraging her talents at such a young age. But now they unknowingly created a little toxic monster , so to speak, and they need to rein her in before ti is too late. They need to show her the video and point out that this is not to behave. They need to have her :

1. be grateful to all of the opportunities she has been given and  express it verbally

2. stop sounding so affected with her vocal tone

3. stop the over the top gesturing

4. never say anything negative about anyone, especially about  sewing teacher who tried to help her

5. stop being so self involved

6. stop being so entitled

 

I  only hope that her parents  now put in the same  effort into redirecting their child’s toxic behavior as they have in encouraging her to live out her fashion dreams.If they don’t nip her Toxic behavior in the bud now, young Cecelia will never have the opportunity to carry out her dreams as an adult because no one will want to be around her, no matter how talented she is or thinks she is.

Gosselin Twins Body Language on View Shows They’re Intimidated By Controlling Kate and Not Ready for TV
January 21, 2014

While it was a nice try  by Kate and her spinners to shove the 13 year old twins on the View for damage control, it didn’t work.  In fact it still showed us via their  body language and communication patterns  they were intimidated by Kate and definitely not ready for television, let alone another reality show. Even Whoppi made reference to them constantly looking at their mother when they spoke as Whoppi told them to pretend Kate wasn’t there.  Even though they did manage to speak, their speaking abilities left a lot to be desired- especially Cara’s muteness. When she did speak she was monotone, died off at the end of her phrases, looked dow, and constantly held on to herself. It was clear that she appears to be insecure and intimidated. Both of these girl’s verbal puppet strings were still being controlled by Kate as we witnessed.

However, Mady did manage to break free at the end and let her own inner anger out through her body language of clenched fists, facial expressions of disgust and upset. It was also reflected by her speech content in revealing how she would like to get rid of the sextuplets and how  each and every one of them was so annoying.

I assume they must have received Kate’s wrath after their Today Show performance. She may possibly have  threatened them with the fact that if the family doesn’t get another reality show , it will be their fault. So, they better do well and speak up  this time when they are on the View.  I  imagine they were told how they won’t get any of  the perks that come along with a reality show- clothes, new adventures, fame, and money.

While the twins did speak verbally, their vocal patterns, speech content, and body language spoke volumes about what is really  going on with them and how things must really be in that household. No matter how the press headlines have tried to spin how successful their interview was, it was clearly not a success. In fact I would say that was still a disaster in my” View”.

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Before they spoke, each of the twins began self grooming in preparation for their performance which showed their uneasiness. They clearly feel the pressure upon them.

As Barbara Walters said that now the girls are teenagers and that must be difficult, we see Kate’s facial expression  of stern consternation and  rigid body language saying it all,  as she raises her head and leaks out that she thinks they certainly are difficult.Image

Then to match her body language , Kate verbally reveals how she does indeed think they are difficult as she she immediately shows her control and turns to them and says Girls plug your ears.”.In my view that is not a very loving statement. In essence she is saying that she really doesn’t want them to hear how negatively she really thinks of them. The expressions on the girl’s faces show they aren’t too thrilled about this comment.

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Even though Kate says “No, Im kidding,” apparently  she is not kidding ,based on her body language leakage.

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Now we really see Kate spin it as she says the twins are “the most amazing big sisters on the planet,” which surprises Mady, as she raises her eyebrows  as though she is questioning her mothers “truth.”  Cara smiles at Mady with bowed head  as she clearly knows this is spin. Their body language to Kate’s spin makes sense later on as Mady reveals the truth that she finds every one of the sextuplets extremely  annoying. Even Fantasia Barino one of the View’s substitute co-hosts  commented that ” they looked at each other like No.”  Obviously Fantasia picked up on the fact that Kate was spinning things.

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Look at the  tense expression between Kate and Mady as Kate dishes her spin and says how they are her left and right hand girls. Kate then shrugs her shoulder and purses her lips which  is a signal of deception. Mady is clearly not buying what she said.

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Sheri, another host of the show says that she read in articles where Kate has ” always talked about how the girls helping  her around the house.” Sheri then asks the girls  what they do to help out around the house. Mady answers ‘I don’t help” and immediately turns it over to Cara. Look at the expression on Kate’s face as Mady reveals this. Kate is furious as her mouth is agape. She then rolls her eyes. Once again Mady has succeeded in embarrassing her mom.

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Now Kate  really wants to make sure Cara doesn’t do the same and humiliate her as well.  So Kate  points to Cara in a hostile motion and  gives her a stern look as she coachers  Cara her by interjecting”After dinner.  ” Then Kate’s tone turns hostile and abrupt  as she demands  to Cara “go for it”. In essence we can see her orchestrating what she wants Cara to so and say.

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Cara is uncomfortable as she tells how she wipers the counters and lunoads the dishwasher and admits how her sister does do some chores. Mady is angry as you can see my her clenched fists on her lap.  Cara,  her hand never leaving her arm for self comfort clearly does not want to be talking, as she looks down when she speaks with her head cocked to the side. She consistently doesn’t maintain eye contact.  Kate has a watchful eye as she listens carefully ready to interject some spin in case Cara doesn’ end up following through.

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Whoppie then asks what these girls do for fun. She then tells the girls not to look at Kate and to pretend their mom  is not there.

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Whoppi puts the girls at ease and  for the first time we see a relaxed them smile and a  laugh. Whoppi ties to give the girls a hint as to what they might like as she asks if they are on social media or twitter. Jeannie McCarthy interjects  as well by asking if they are One Directioners.

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Mady them says that if she is going to be perfectly honest she doesn’t like Justin Beiber ( which is further indication why she not  ready for prime time). She needed to reveal whom she does like and not whom she doesn;t like . Rule number one is to never trash a fellow performer. If she has hopes to be a reality star, she too falls into the category of performer.)She then says she likes Nile of One Direction. In a candid typical school girl fashion, she  seems embarrassed to reveal  her crush as she looks down and  bows her head.

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Then Cara makes the same mistake and reveals in a boring,  mumbling,   monotone with a hunched over posture, constantly looking down, that she  the doesn’t like  One Direction. She says she likes Demi Lovato aster being prompted by Sheri. Her performance shows me how she needs so much work and is clearly not at all ready to be in the spotlight.  She does not remove her hand from her arm throughout the interview as it is clenched there. She continues to hunch over which is not a good sign. She reveals that she is a very shy girl who lacks charisma and gravitas necessary for television. No oen wants to watch anyone boring and monototone and montoface. Getting her to speak was like pulling teeth. I do think that her being int he spotlight again would not be a good move for her and may possibly cause issues.

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Jeannie Mc Carthy asks the twins about their parents divorce/ Cara has absolutely  no idea what to say and faces Mady for answers. mady seems  equally stumped at not knowing what to say . In essence the twins clammed up again on TV which is a no- no in the media.  Then they both laugh nervously. Mady finally says it wasn;t hard for them. But then looks up at Kate and addresses her mom personally and directly  saying” I guess it was harder for you.” Then Mady says she was 9 and it didn’t really affect her as she saw both parents and didn’t see the difficult things.

Kate immediately chimes in and spins how it drew the nine of them closer together as she gushes and uses effusive terminology. She then volunteers how there is nothing they don’t talk about and proceeds. She then goes off on a tangent and proceeds to  to spin how the twins hang out in her room every night . She does this for a reason as her intention is to  to give show how wonderful things are their household.

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Barbara Walters  immediately changes the topic and asks how the  twins feel about their younger brothers and sisters. Kate immediately takes control and interjects ” Mady you waited your whole life for this question.”  Mady then turns to her mother and tells Kate that  she ruined her dramatic silence.

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Kate as you can is literally taken aback by Mady’s on air admonition that her mom ruined her dramatic silence. Note how far Kate jerks her head back and how her bosy has stiffened. this means she is not happy about what Mady just said.

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Kate then leaks out an expression of a tight clenched jaw  which  further indicates she isn’t too happy about what Mady is doing on the View in terms of  chastising her.

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Mady opens up and is very forthright about how not only as a group,  but that every single one of the sextuplets “is annoying”. Her facial expression with rolled eyes and open mouth and slack jaw,  shows how exasperated and upset she is by them. So she has revealed to the world that things aren’t so rosey and hunky dory in that household as Kate would like us to believe. It now seems obvious to me  that Kate was the one putting her daughters up to saying how wonderful things were at home in the People article.  But the truth leaked out for the first time on the Today Show and now again on the View.

Whoppie clearlry made us aware of how intimidated these  two girls are by their mother as they have to look at her before they speak to make sure they spin things right so that she doesn’t get angry with them.

You may ask yourslef why would Kate drag these two non- charism atc,  mediocre,  and obviously not ready for prime time, teens on the View for a do over to show they can talk, even though they have nothing to say. The answer is simple as I see it.

Kate is obviously campaigning for another reality show and has commissioned her twinst o so her bidding. There was a lot of concertn about TV harming the kids so she wanted to make it known that it didn’t harm  them.

But something has harmed them from my perspective. Mady appeaRS angry and Cara appears so insecure that she is unable  to hold her head up, maintain eye contact, and speak with a resonant  non monotonous tone without mumbling or  dying off.

After observing these two and the dynamic with their mother, I personally don’t think they should be on television as they have nothing whatsoever to offer- no charisma and no talent. They are simply fraternal twin sisters who have 6 brothers and sisters as a result of theit mother taking fertility drugs. While it was indeed cute to see the babies and young kids  grow up on TV, truth be told,  they are not so cute anymore. They are teens and pre teens who are at a very sensitive and delicate age for growth and development. Thus I believe they need privacy to mature and develop to their full potential. Ask child star advocate, Paul Peterson what happens to showbiz kids who continue to grow up in front of the TV camera.  Statistically we have all seen that it does harm them unless they are the rare exception like the charismatic and very talented Ron Howard.

While Mady admitted that  she doesn’t like Justin Beiber, look at what is now allegedly happening to this 19 year old  after spending his life in the limelight. Allegedly he is  drinking sizzurp and taking drugs. There is a lot of pressure for a teen to be in the spotlight and it is clear from just their two appearances on the Today Show and on the View that these girls are not ready.

Body Language and Silence of Gosselin Twins Reflect Anger at Mom As Kate Is Enraged
January 17, 2014

 The silence  of Cara and Mady on the Today Show spoke volumes as they were asked if they were doing OK. Clearly they are NOT OK. They are obviously angry at mom.  They were both asserting their power by using this opportunity in an attempt to embarrass their mother, who appears to be on a quest to get back in the limelight with a new reality show. 

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As Mady was asked if things were OK, she cocked her head and pursed her lips,  which indicated that she couldn’t reveal the truth even though she may have wanted to tell all. 

When Mady refused to speak, Kate clasped her hands as she would with a young toddler and said “Use your words”. This was humiliating to say to a teenager who obviously didn’t have any words to tell lies about how wonderful things were on the homefront.

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Kate was shocked and looked at Mady straight in the eye. They both had an eye to eye confrontation. Mady was not backing down. She was not going to play along and make like everything at home was fine and dandy when it was not the case. Even though Kate looks like she is smiling, it is a phony smile to mask her anger towards Mady. 

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Cara was sullen and mute throughout the interview. She refused to say a word as she clenched her jaw shut. 

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 Kate was not happy with Cara,  who in her early years on “Kate Plus 8″  seemed to be Momma’s little helper and ally. Things have certainly changed . We see how Cara raises her shoulder and is literally giving Kate “the cold shoulder”. There is also a lot of tension on her face. Kate is furious as we can see from her body language> Kate glares at Cara, *who ignores her mother as Kate purses her lips  and clenches her jaw in anger as she eyes her daughter.

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Kate is disgusted with Maddy as well as you can see by the look of anger on  her face. Mady obviously feels the tension and has resorted to playing with her hair as a result of comforting herself . She automatically cocks her head to be out of Kate’s  direct line of vision. She also hunches down.  It is her way of physically minimizing herself against Kate’s wrath and the tension she feels coming from her mother. Cara also feels the tension as she gazes at her sister with concern.

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Kate tries to do damage control but can’t help leaking out her angry facial language. Maddy looks away from her mom, focusing on the interviewer. Mady’s shoulders are still rounded while Cara looks down. 

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Here we see Mady leaking out a  a self satisfied smile as she knows exactly what she did by not speaking. She is clearly  pleased with her accomplishment at embarassing her mother on national television.

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As Kate tries to spin things,  she manages to put a dig in about Jon by saying how he and the public have said that being on television has damaged the kids. Kate says that because of this wrong information, she is now forced to come forward and speak out. Obviously she manipulated her teenage twins to do her bidding via their interview in People Magazine. But it all backfired when the teens were put on the spot and now had to speak for themselves in a  spontaneous manner. They couldn’t bring themselves to do it.  This screenshot shows how it is clear that the girls don’t want to be a part of Kate’s campaign, They are detached from Kate as they both look down with tense facial expressions. They know that their mother is spinning things to make herself look good and  it is obvious that they don’t want to go along with the charade any longer.

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Cara’s fist-like and gesture is indicative of anger. She is holding on to herself for self comfort as she wears a tense facial expression. Mady is also holding on to herself as she clasps her hands between her legs for comfort. There is a lot of physical space between her and her mother as she cocks her head and minimizes herself. Kate is holding on to herself as well as a means of containing her anger towards her daughters. Kate appears to be full of tension in her face and body. 

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Cara purses her lips which further indicates she wants to remain silent on the matter as Mady looks down with a sad facial expression. No doubt she knows what lies ahead when the interview is over and the cameras are turned off of her- a very unhappy mother. Kate leans away from Mady and literally gives her the “cold shoulder” as she gestures with tense hands and a very angry look on her face.

When the girls were asked if they want to get back on TV with a reality show, this was the only time Mady light up as he eyes brightened for a moment. But she couldn’t answer the next question as to why she wanted to be on TV- because it was fun or because she wanted her life out there. No doubt she remembered the perks and the travel and all the goodies of the past that came with being on TV and she misses that. Maybe she feels that having another reality show will appease Kate, which may in turn make living with her mother a lot easier and reduce the tension and anger around the house.

This interview showed us how all is not well in that household, no matter what these girls may have allegedly told People Magazine.When it was just them on the spot  and no publicist or mom speaking on their behalf, they refused to lie. I give them a lot of credit for that. 

 

Obama and Putin’s Body Language Says They Detest One Another
September 11, 2013

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While President Obama may know a thing or two about politics, he knows very little about body language. In a recent speech he said that there was  a lot of talk about body language of the two leaders  when they met and warned the public not to read much into it because he said that Putin just has a slouching posture.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Putin is not a sloucher. In fact his posture is usually erect and reflects extreme self confidence.

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You consistently see his erect and straight posture when he speaks to world leaders.

ImageHere we see is non slouching erect posture with Secretary of State John Kerry.

ImageHere we see his erect posture with Chinese leader Xi Jinping.

ImageHere we see Putin’s non slouching erect posture with British Prime Minister David Cameron.

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But when Putin is near Obama his raised shoulders and fist like hand gesture indicates that he is angry at Obama and clearly doesn’t like him as he can’t even bear to look at him. He leans his body away from Obama as you can see and looks down as to avoid Obama entirely.

Likewise Obama looks angry. In fact we have rarely if ever seen Obama with such a facial expression reflecting disdain. His hand is on his knee for self comfort and his facial expression speaks volumes.  He puts his hand on  his chin as he appears to be pondering what to do. There is tension in his face and cheek area indicating  anger  and the downward turn of his mouth shows unhappiness.  Obama is clearly not happy having to be in the presence of Putin.

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Here we see where they have an identical hand pose as those they are holding on to themselves and restraining themselves from all the anger and disdain  they have towards one another. Putin cannot even establish eye contact with Obama  as he looks away while Obama looks at him with a skeptical facial expression.

There is clearly no love lost between these two leaders.There is mutual anger and mutual disdain for one another body language wise and facial language wise no matter what pleasant words they use about one another.

Paula Deen’s Body Language, Fake Tears, Insincere Apology, and Racist Punchline Tuned Off Fans and Sponsors
June 28, 2013

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Deep down, Paula Deen did not  feel that  she did anything wrong. Hence you hear her empty sounding hollow apologies. She made three apologies, one worse sounding than the other.The body doesn’t lie and neither does the voice.

Her tears were non-tears with no liquid in them. And worse or all she used a phrase”I is what I is” which is the punchline of a racist joke.  She went from the fire into the frying pan and fried her reputation for good.

Had she said, “Look I said that 20 something years ago out of anger at one particular person.  I am ashamed of it. Let’s move on because I am not a racist and for anyone to think so is wrong.   But let us use this as a teaching moment that whether we are black or white we must eliminate that word from our lexicon because it brings hurt to everyone.Let’s stop using it in our music and  everywhere else.”

She also needed to put her money where her mouth was and say that she was starting up an educational fund where she would go to schools along with other professionals to teach children about not using hurtful words and telling racist jokes to hurt others.

But instead she got way too defensive about a black guy having a gun to her head and then ending it with an over the top dramatic statement about throwing a stone so hard that it should kill her and then shockingly saying “I is what I is.” She didn’t say “i am what I am”but made reference to  racist joke.

Here is the joke:

There was a black guy and a white guy.
They were debating over whether god was white or black.
The white guy said that there was only one way to find out and that is to
pray.
So they go up on a hill and they pray, and pray, and pray.
Finally they hear a voice say, “I am what I am.”
The white guy jumps up, and says, “Aha, I told you he was white.”
The black guy jumps up and says, “What do you mean? That didn’t prove
anything.”
“Yes it did. Because if he was black he would’ve said I is what I is.”

Her insincere apology and defensive explanation on the Today show  is the reason why she has been dropped by so many including Walmart and Target and her diabetes drug company.

It is not that she said the N words over two decades ago. It is that she now showed no remorse . it was  her body language and how she said it that turned people off.

Jodi Arias Smiles, Flirts, and Kisses and Laughs In Recent Courtoom Appearance
June 24, 2013

ImageJodi Arias  first arrived in the courtroom wearing a very sullen expression. She was not wearing her glasses which were  previously her apparent prop which she used to try and sway the jury that she was just an average abuse vicitim and not a femme fatale. Her eyes looked a bit sunken and her complexion was pale.

She was expressionless as she sat down. But then she turned  to the back of the courtroom  to look at who was in the  audience. She clearly recognized someone who made her smile . She even  puckered up and gave the person a kiss.

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First we see her pursing her lips as she strains to locate the person as she eyes those seated in back of her in the courtroom.

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Then she recognizes  the person and makes eye contact  with them and proceeds to exhibit a genuine smile with her cheeks raised, teeth showing,  and eyes squinted. This indicates she is really happy to see the person.

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She knows she shouldn’t be doing what she is doing . Hence you see her pursing her lips as she tries to surpress her excitement and happiness at seeing the person. But her eyes continue to smile. 

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She continues to look at the person as she unpurses her lips. Says OK .

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 Now we see her puckering up in a kissing motion. 

 

 

 

 

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She  then turns away and laughs to herself as she is quite self satisfied in terms of what she has done in giving an air  kiss to someone in the back of the  courtroom. 

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She continues to smile  a genuine smile as she turns away from the person. You can see her raised cheeks and squinted eyes which indicates she is very happy with herself.

The question is with whom was Jodi  flirting? Was it one of her male or female admirers? Was it her one loyal male friend who has supported and defended her ? Was it her female friend who has tweeted  on her behalf? Was it someone new? I doubt that it was her mother or father based on her strained relationship with them in the past.  

Jodi is  most likely receiving support if not love letters from disturbed thinking fans out there. Perhaps the person to whom she was smiling and flirting with and to whom she gave an air kiss to was one of those  disturbed suitors.

While Jodi was happy that she was able to get some personal attention in the courtroom, this may be one of the last times she gets away with it. When she is locked up in prison for life or on death row, there will be nothing to smile  about and no one to share a laugh. 

 

 

 

Jury Forman Reveals How Looks Do Matter, Agressive Style Doesn’t Work, and How Travis’ Mental and Emotional Abuse Played In the Decision
May 27, 2013

 

So many people are upset that the jurors could not reach a conclusion regarding Jodi Arias in terms of whether she lives or dies. In fact many were very upset with the Jury forman William Zervakos  who spoke out about the trial on Good Morning America. But if both the prosecution and  the defense  takes the time to really listen to what he said durting his interview they can learn a lot from his comments and what to do the second time around on July 19th.

1. The jury forman said that he could not wrap his mind around the fact that such a petetite and seemingly attractive  woman such as Jodi could commit such an heinous act. his exact words was that ” it didn’t wash.” In his mind and no doubt in the minds of others,  the way that Jodi looked was incongruent with her actions. The jury needed some logical explanation as to why such a seemlngly attractive woman would do  such a horrible crime.  In listening to the interviews of the three other jurors one mentioned that when she entered the courtroom she kept looking for the defendant as she could not believe it was Jodi. The other two jurors agreed with her.

As research has shown us time and time again, looks do matter, especially when it comes to judging people of criminal acts. If the defense wants to do right by their client, they need to play up her looks. hey need to have Jodi lose the glasses and the stringy greasy hair and the bangs. They need to supply her with some makeup , blush, mascara, and a dab of lip gloss as she goes into the courtroom. They need to not dress her frumpy but rather professional in a jacket with a colorful blouse underneath it. They need to play up the incongruity between her looks and her actions and make her as attractive as possible.

On the other side, the defense needs to adress the issue of her appearance and the incongruity up front. They need to  state that just because Jodi may be attractive, looks only go so far as her ugly actions of slitting Travis from ear to ear are is what really counts as opposed to her physical appearance.

2. The jury forman tried to wrap his mind around why Jodi would kill Travis in such a brutal way and came up with the fact hat he felt Travis emotionally and physically abused Jodi.

The defense needs to play up this emotional and mental abuse of Travis  using Jodi for sex and throwing her away like a used Kleenex, while he was preparing for a trip to Mexico with a woman he wanted to pursue as his wife.  thus destroying her sense of self . They need to say how she dedicated her life to Travis and how he led her on  after she converted to being a Mormon for him and accompanied him on  his quest of ironically traveling to “1000 places before you die. ”  They need to say how she was conscious of Travis’ finances and paid her own way even though she was a struggling waitress , just to be with him even though she could nto afford to do so. They also need stay away from their lame claim of physical abuse and focus on the mental and physical abuse that the forman spoke about.

The prosecution on the other hand needs to bring up Jodi’s lame lies of physical abuse and minimize the mental and emotional abuse.  he needs to say that she moved thousands of miles away from him and  it was her decision to seek him out and how he did not abuse her mentally or emotionally. He just wanted out of their Toxic relationship.

3. While the jury forman  said that the 18 days hurt Jodi ‘ because she was not a good witness”, the reality is that it may have indeed  helped her by the fact that it humanized her to many jury members . Thus it made killing her more difficult a task. This new jury will not  be hearing her testimony for 18 days or even more than one day, so this may not work in Jodi’s favor.

This time around, the defense needs to make sure that Jodi shuts up and doesn’t do her ridiculous slide show which completely contradicted her testimony of being the abused child when she looked so loving and chummy with her family in all of the photos she provided.She needs to NOT plead for her life, simply  based on  her ignorant cousin’s and her mother’s assessment of what she could do to be useful  in prison with programs that are non-existant in the Arizona  Perryville prison and of which she will have no control. Her lawyers need to sit her down a and give her a huge reality check telling her what the reality is of her getting life in prison really means. They should NOT let  Jodi satisfy her need for attention that she craves and be quiet.  Jodi wanted death and should plead for death if she wants it. If she is not allowed to plead for death and really wants it as she initially said she did, then they need to force her to sit down and remain silent. Instead her attorneys need to plead that she should live because even though she was “abused by her family”  she has forgiven them and doesn’t want to hurt them and cause them more pain and emotional agony. Jodi could be coached to say the same thing but she most likely would not heed her lawyers advice and would  go off on tangents in order to get more attention. This  would ultimately seal her fate.

The prosecution needs to share why Jodi would be better off dead. They need to say that if she gets out of prison after a few decades she would only be in her 50′s and would still be able to have relationships  whereby she could do the same thing to someone else whom she perceived  mentally or emotionally abused her. The prosecution also needs to bring up her jailhouse record and fights she was engaged in at Arpaio’s jail, and her complaints at being emotionally and mentally and physically abused. They also need to bring up her testimony about her parents abusing her and how she abused her mother. They need to show the jury that this is a life pattern of hers and that she will continue it.

4. What also made Jodi more compassionate to jurors was the fact that she was being treated harshly by Juan Martinez. It made many jurors feel uncomfortable. So while the public may have received a vicarious thrill that Martinez was serving justice many of the jurors did not  like this approach.So, the jury forman let us know that  Martinez’ agression towards Jodi worked against him.

The defense needs to bring this up and satte how Jodi was verbally bashed by Martinez  on the stand which made her flustered and give inconsistent answers. They need to reiterate what Jodi said and how she couldn’t think when she was being aggressively hammered verbally like Travis did to her.

On the flip side, Martinez needs to address his harshness and saying that lying makes him mad and how Jodi is full of lies and how he is the voice of Travi Alexander and how Travis would be mad that all these lies are being told about him.

So both the prosecution and the defense can present their case more effectively if they follow the jury forman’s comments and use his information to better their positions in presenting their case,

In responding to  this blog I don’t want to hear from anyone who is accusing me of taking sides or defending or not defending Jodi Arias What she di is dispicable and needs to be punished to the full extent of the law . She killed a man in his most vulnerable satte- naked and washing himself in the shower.

I have just  given my best suggestions for BOTH the prosecution AND the defense in order to better present their case and address concerns that a future jury may have, based on the issues brought up by the previous jury forman  and other jurors so that there is no longer a deadlocked jury.

Jodi Arias Worst Punishment Isolation Not Life or Death With Her Narcissistic and Entitled Personality
May 26, 2013

 

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There appears to be a great deal of upset with jurors in the Jodi Arias case for not coming to a conclusion as to wether she lives or dies. While there appears to be somewhat of a gladiator mindset with those who are not on the jury championing life, while others champion death for Jodi, these two options will not have as much impact on Jodi as being isolated and away from other human beings will have more of a punishing effect on her based on her personality type.

Her not having mountains of mail to keep her busy and occupied, her not making daily calls to her friend to tweet for her, her only being allowed two books every two weeks if she is lucky, her lack of having access to a pen or writing  or drawing materials, will be devastating enough to her psyche. 

But even more devastating will be her lack of contact with others both on the outside and on the inside of her prison life. For someone who thrives on attention, manipulation, and for someone who feels so entitled who needs to be in control, the mere essence of who she is will no doubt  be destroyed.

While it was recently  appalling to see Jodi control and micromanage the media and the reporters who sniveled  at her feet just to get her to talk in an interview, we gained a great deal of insight as to who she is and how she thinks. She clearly intimidated almost every single reporter who spoke to her, She was the one in control. She loved it. She demanded that they only film her above the waist without her jailhouse stipes and pink socks and shackles showing. She insisted that she apply makeup and lipgloss and not be filmed doing those things or combing or fluffing up her hair. 

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The ONLY reporter with any guts and professionalism was ABC’s Ryan Owen who shot video of her in her jail garb and asked real hard hitting questions instead of those meaningless namby pamby candy coated questions his colleagues asked.

In doing so, Ryan’s questions brought out another side of  REAL Jodi as she exposed the flash of hate and anger that Travis Alexander may have seen right before he was so brutally attacked and massacred.

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Gone was Jodi’s sickening sweet melifluous tone. Gone was Jodi’s plastered fake smile. Now her eyes opened wide in anger, her  jaw dropped,  her head jerked back as she was literally taken aback by Ryan Owen’s direct non nonsense not sugar coated approached. She retaliated by calling him a “hater.”

With the exception of Ryan Owen’s interview Jodi LOVED LOVED LOVED all of the attention. She LOVED bossing all the media around and setting up her rules and regulations . She LOVED asserting her control over them. But the one time she couldn’t control like we saw in her reaction with Ryan owen, she fought back and fought as hard as she could under the circumstances by calling him a “Hater”.

When Jodi did not get her way, she fought. That is what happened with Travis. She wanted to control Travis and have him marry her. She did all she could to make that happen from accompanying him on trips to ironically fulfill his “1000 places to see before you die”  goal, converting to Mormonism for him, and  indulging him in his sex fantasies and sex play. She thought she could easily control him with sex and eventually wear him down and have him succumb to her greatest  desire which was to be his wife.

So when she completely lost control, that rage and anger  of which we saw a glimpse in Ryan Owen’s interview, no doubt surfaced and all the anger of  this “sickeningly sweet  silent  but deadly erupting volcano”  came boiling up to the surface and exploded. AS a result of her built up rage, she ended up stabbing Travis 27 times and shooting him. 

She thought she could control and manipulate Travis  with some great sex and that they would be back together as a couple. But that was not the case. Instead, he gladly enjoyed the sex  with her, but then told her he was taking another girl  on a trip to Mexico.

It was all too much for Jodi to hear. She lost control so did the only thing she could to gain back her control – literally destroying Travis three times over. Her intention in driving all those miles was to see if she could control Travis, one last time. if not, she was prepared to make sure no one else had Travis if she couldn’t have him.

The jury forman in his interview made some disparaging remarks about Travis. He said he believed  Travis had emotionally and mentally abused Jodi.  Travis was certainly  no angel. The jury forman was right in his assessment that Travis  did emotionally abuse her by continuing to have sex with her while he had no intention of marrying her and while dating other women in order to seek out a wife. This diminished  Jodi’s ego and sense of self to the point  that her built up anger overcame her and that she felt she had no choice other than to literally destroy Travis.

Jodi’s personality is such that when she cannot control something or someone she lashes out and destroys and that is what she did to Travis. 

There is a very enlightening You tube video called “Jodi Arias Rose Colored Glasses” by a former prison deputy Warden in the  Arizona Prison system. named Carl ToersBijns

He states that Jodi will have absolutely NO CONTROL whatsoever in the prison system to start reading, language, recycling and hair donation programs like she told the jurors. She said in his video that the physical conditions alone in the Perryville prison are so harsh that many inmates die or commit suicide. He reports that Jodi will have no contact at all with others and will be looking at four walls 23 hours a day with no letters or books to keep her mind occupied.  

Based on the deputy warden’s video, Jodi will be facing isolation with no human contact  for at least at least five years before she will be allowed with others. That is only of she shows good behavior. But as the deputy warden says, many find the intense heat and the extreme isolation too much to take so they often kill themselves. 

When Jodi realizes that there is no inmate contact, that no one set her straight about her not being able to start prison  reading or language programs,that she won’t be able to draw or color, that she won’t be in the general population for at least five years,  that she can only read 2 books a month only if the staff has time to take her to the library, that all  her mail will not be delivered, that she has NO CONTROL over anything, it may be too much for her to bear and she may welcome death as so many prisoners do.

If she gets life, these conditions will be immensely unbearable for her personality type. Even if she happens to make it to the point that she will see other prisoners after her five years of isolation, she will be such a mental mess that she will not be able to endure the taunting that the Deputy Warden talks about in his video. If she displays that arrogant,”I am a celebrity”  or “I am better than you” attitude, uses her big worded vocabulary to show off, speaks in her precise, hyper-articulate, staccato unnatural tone,  or shows any sense entitlement she may be beaten up so severely  or even  killed by other prisoners. 

This time around,  with the new jury deciding whether she lives or dies, Jodi’s lawyers  may want to give her a reality check and tell her there are no prison programs in Perryville she can control or start up. They may want to do the right thing by her even though they can’t  stand her and have her  put her narcissistic desire for attention on the back burner and shut up .

Pleading for her life may have been Jodi’s biggest mistake. It made the jury think twice about her fate, especially when she provided them with more BS about what she would do in a maximum security system.

Based on what we now know will be the conditions she will fave in Perryville, she needs to plead death or keep her mouth shut and let the jury decide without her influence.  But  that won’t be possible as her desire for control and  center stage is too great.

Here is the link to the former  Deputy Warden’s analysis of what life will be like for Jodi Arias. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJTBLd-72fg

Jodi Arias Body Language As Mistrial Declared Shows Shock, Hurt, Relief, and Frustration
May 24, 2013

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As Jodi Arias is about to learn her fate as to  whether she was to  live or die it is essential to note how  she is dressed and how she  has  arranged her hair. With the exception of her pony tail, her hair do was similar  her court  minder who sat by her side whenever her attorneys left the defense  table for a sidebar  with the Judge.  Jodi copied the woman’s style with her hair in back of her ears  wearing bangs in front. Gone are the phony librarian glasses we saw throughout the trial.

Her copying this woman’s  style once again shows evidence of Jodi’s adhesive personality, whereby she takes on the likes or identity or style of others. With her own attorney,  Jennifer Wilmott  (when they were on better terms) you would see Jodi wearing similar colors and styles to her female attorney. She even took on  Ms. Wilmott’s posture and demeanor as she perused documents and took notes. She did the same thing with collapsing Travis’ identity with his Mormon faith as part of her own. She even remarked that the reason she smiled for her mug shot was because she thought “that’s what Travis would do.”

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When she finds out that there is a hung jury and that there will be a mistrial she immediately shuts her eyes as if to process what she just heard.

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.17.02 AMThen you continue to see her processing the information while her attorney Jennifer Wilmott begins to show visible signs of surprise and anger based on her facial tension and tension around her eyes.

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.17.18 AMNow Jodi  begins to show signs of upset as she processed that the jury  did not give her life which she believed that they would, but instead sent her a clear message  that they couldn’t decide whether she should live or dies. She looks hurt due to the fact that there were some members of the jury who could even think about putting her to death.

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.18.49 AMNow we see that she is not only surprised but beginning to get upset with the findings because it means there were some jury members who didn’t believe her claim about being abused and killing in self defense. She also begins to realize that she will have to do her little ” and dance  act” all over again. It is as though she is nonverbally saying “Oh my God not again.”

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She doesn’t release her hand from her face as now it is  a form of self comforting and self support as she sadly listens to each juror speak . There is an expression of hurt as she hears each juror speak the same words and no doubt feels “betrayed ” by them. She spoke of feeling betrayed by them in the ABC interview. Now we see the visible physical facial expressions reflecting her perceived betrayal. Her  shoulders are rounded as she appears defeated.

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.19.58 AMShe cannot move her hand from the side of her face as she continues to listen to the jurors.  There is a lot of facial tension around her lower jaw as she looks as though she is emotionally hurt and as though she could cry any second. Her potential tears are clearly due to he feeling that the jury did her wrong.

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Her hand moves over her mouth indicating that she is literally “speechless” at what is happening. The tension around her eyes have relaxed more as she realizes that this may not be such a bad thing. She doesn’t have to go to death row now and be in isolation for the rest of her life. Now she has more time before she leaves the jail and heads to prison. Most of all she’ll remain in the limelight for a lot longer with all the attention paid to her, thus feeding her insatiable narcissism.

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She scratches  and presses down on her midface region, nasal bridge, and inner portion of her closed eyelids  as a  way of releasing the pent up emotional pressure. It is a signal of relief. She is relieved she wasn’t sentenced to death (at least not yet).

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.18.30 AMBut for the Alexander family, not seeing her sentenced to death for what she did to their brother was devastating as his sister immediately broke down in sobs.

Screen Shot 2013-05-24 at 9.19.30 AMThe same was true for his other sisters,  while  both his his brother and brother in law showed visible signs of anger with clenched jaws and furrowed brows.  For them it was as though al this effort to seek justice for their brother who had his throat slit and who was killed so shockingly by Jodi,  was done for nothing. Apparently some of the jurors mouthed the words “I’m sorry”” to this distraught family.But to the Alexander family, these were empty words. They were the ones that were sorry that they weren’t in the courtroom seeing Jodi sentenced to die.

To the family, there is only one logical conclusion and that is death for Jodi. But that was not the case with the jurors. The lack of  the Alexander’s family wish for a  death sentence and now their  lack of closure will have severe emotional repercussions on this family until they  return to the courtroom and once again in July to still see  their brother’s monster murderess.

Following this hung jury’s dismissal from the courtroom, the Jury Forman  William Zervakos spoke to the press. He  said that  be believed Travis Alexander verbally and emotionally abused Jodi Arias. That is a shock to many who did not believe this to be the case. No doubt other jurors fell for this  line fo thinking. Otherwise they would have all  quickly agreed that she deserved to die by lethal needle.

The judge showed frustration with the jury as she read that it was a mistrial as reflected by her letting out a huge burst of air, resulting in a huge sigh before she spoke , which is a clear signal of frustration and exasperation  on her part. . There is no doubt that this trial took it’s toll on her too, since  she always had to be on her toes throughout the trial to make sure a mistrial would not be the result of anything she did. This must have been extremely  taxing on her psyche .

Now there will be  a new group of jurors to assist in deciding Jodi’s fate. For the next 2 1/2/ months, Jodi will sit in a cell 23 hours a day and do no media. This may be her worst punishment yet.

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