Analyzing Tiger Wood’s Second “Non-Apology” and What He Should Have Said

When Tiger Woods made his first public apology when only a few mistresses surfaced, he merely apologized for some “transgressions.” But now that a sex partner, mistress, escort, call girl, or prostitute is surfacing on a daily basis, no doubt Tiger’s handlers felt the need for him to re- apologize. Only, they missed the point here. They needed to tell him to come clean instead of the following lame and weak apology:

TIGER’S SECOND EVEN MORE LAME APLOLOGY

“I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

“I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing.

After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person.

“Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.”

NO WAY TO BEGIN AN APOLOGY

First of all that is no way to begin an apology. Of course he is” deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that” my infidelity has caused to so many people.” His wife Elin most probably threw something at him on Thanksgiving day because of it. Of course he knows it has devasted his mother in law who no doubt ended up in an emergency room with stomach pains because of it. Of course it disappointed the fans.

WHAT TIGER NEEDED TO SAY TO BEGIN HIS APOLOGY

He needed to say ” I messed up! I acted like a complete idiot. I don’t know why I did it. I had a beautiful wife and family at home and a great career and the whole world at my fingertips. I obviously have a problem- a serious one. I don’t know if it is an entitlement issue or I do have an actual sex addiction issue. But whatever it is, I am going to get to the bottom of it and handle it. I am embarrassed that my personal demons have become so public but maybe it’s a good thing because it helped me to get the help I need.”

DON’T ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
Then he says “I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.”
It’s not about asking US the public for forgiveness. Sure we are upset that you lead us to believe you were Mr. Clean and Squeaky when in reality you were Mr. No So Clean and Freaky . It’s about asking the only woman who matters for forgiveness- the mother of your kids – your wife.

WHAT TIGER NEEDED TO SAY IN REGARD TO FORGIVENESS:
When one asks for forgiveness one has to mention for what they are asking forgiveness. You have to be specific and detailed if you are being sincere, This is what Tiger needed to say:
“I feel terrible that I disappointed all of you who thought I had such a clean and solid imagine. For some you, I was your role model and a role model for your kids. That hurts me more than anything because I have been such an advocate for kids and I know I have shattered your image of me and your children’s image of me. In this day and age where heroes are a rare commodity, I was willing to take on that task as of one of our modern day hero’s but I have failed you and your children and that hurts. I don’t know if you will ever forgive me for that because I can’t forgive myself for that alone.

What I have done to my wife Elin is beyond unforgiveable. I did not just have a “transgression or two, like I implied in my earlier apology. I have had too many, which I am embarrassed to say. Elin is a wonderful woman who has been there for me 100 percent throughout the years. She has only shown me devoted love and for me to have treated her with such disrespect is unconscionable! I have put my relationship with her and the relationship with my kids in jeopardy. That is what kills me the most. I have destroyed the trust and the love I have had with this beautiful woman. How can my kids ever respect me for what I have done? I hope and pray that Elin will find it in her heart to forgive me and to give me a second chance to prove how much I love her. I hope that she will give me the chance to prove I can be a wonderful husband and a great father. I don’t know what it will take or how we will get there but I am so devastated by all of this because I have devastated her. I will do anything- sex addiction counseling, seek spiritual counseling- anything just to have my wife and family back. I just pray it is not too late. “

DON’T ASK FOR UNDERSTANDING OR PRIVACY AS YOU WILL NEVER GET IT

When Tiger says “I would like to ask everyone, including my fans, the good people at my foundation, business partners, the PGA Tour, and my fellow competitors, for their understanding. “ he is being ridiculous! Absolutely NO ONE- no fan, business partners, PGA Tour foundation or your fellow competitors can UNDSERSTAND what you did. You can’t even UNSDERSTAND what you did yourself. SO don’t ask anyone for understanding!

WHAT TIGER NEEDED TO SAY ABOUT UNDERSTANDING

What Tiger needed to say was” I don’t ask anyone to be understanding as I don’t even fully understand why I did what I did MYSELF.”

WHAT TIGER NEEDED TO SAY ABOUT PRIVACY
Instead of Tiger saying “What’s most important now is that my family has the time, privacy, and safe haven we will need for personal healing, “ he needed to say something more personal to his fans.
He needed to say:
“I know that I have been a part of your lives for so long and part of that involves you wanting to know everything that is going on with me. I appreciate that very much. But right now I need a lot of private time with Elin so that I can hopefully heal this horrible situation between us. Our lives together are hanging on by a thread. The only thing that can repair it is time- time that we must spend together and alone.
That is why I am pleading with you to give me that alone time right now to spend with her and the kids. I will for sure let you know my progress with Elin and if and how it’s working. But for now,please let me have a chance to work it out. I would be so grateful for your support in his regard.”

DON’T TALK ABOUT SOUL SEARCHING OR BEING A BETTER HUSBAND, FATHER, OR PERSON.

Don’t say “After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person. Again, I ask for privacy for my family and I am especially grateful for all those who have offered compassion and concern during this difficult period.”

WHAT TIGER NEEDED TO SAY ABOUT GIVING UP GOLF AND HIS FINAL PLEA FOR PRIVACY

Instead Tiger needed to say :
“ That is why I’m giving up golf! That’s right! I may give it up forever. I don’t care about anything else but repairing the havoc I created in my life, my wife’s and children’s lives. Nothing else matters at this point! I have been an awful husband, father, and person to do this to my family to embarrass and humiliate them and myself!
Repairing this damage is not going to come overnight. I know that ! It’s going to take a lot of hard work and effort and prayer. I ask everyone out there who is inclined to do so, to pray for me and my family and give us your love and support which we so desperately need during these very dark times in our lives. Your hopeful thoughts will help me so much, along with your understanding at how much personal privacy means at this point in my life.”

WHAT TIGER’S FINAL WORDS NEEDED TO BE CONCERNING FORGIVENESS

He also needed to say, “I cannot ask you to forgive me when at this point I cannot forgive myself for being the biggest self indulgent, immoral fool. I wasn’t raised like this and I am sure my beloved father and best friend Earl, is probably rolling over in his grave right now. All that he worked for his entire life and all that he taught me– to be a good man and a good person has fallen by the wayside. When I think of my great father, on who’s shoulder’s I stood as he propelled me to greatness, my heart is heavy, and tears stream down my cheeks.” For my mother these times have been unbearable. In her culture and heritage, saving face is crucial and public humiliation is worse than death. I have brought my mother and her family considerable shame and for that I am distraught as well.”

Now that would be a real and sincere apology. It would be even better if Tiger videotaped this apology and sent it out to the various media outlets around the world. If he showed genuine emotion and remorse to go along with the apology, there is no doubt that people would be more likely to find it in their hearts to give Tiger the sympathy and forgiveness that he so desperately craves at this time. http://www.drlillianglass.com

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